there are Realms of his presence you can only find in the shadow and sometimes it's only dark because he's so near there's a there's very little comfort in knowledge there's a lot of comfort in [Music] presence wow I I believe in prophetic art and I I think the Lord has spoken so clearly tonight I I I feel the wind on these paintings that he loves for me to hunt deer in the woods us for me H here yes Lord yes Lord continue to speak Lord well you just you felt the anointing just came on that didn't you man I'm not sure I can function any longer sometimes it's clearer than others I can actually see it this is beautiful which shows his kindness because I didn't even need for him to speak for me to know what I'm supposed to do so it's just just so so good of him wow it has been so long since I have been here in this position so thank you thank you thank you w thank you thank you thanks thanks thanks yeah I love you too thank you I uh this is was wonderful wonderful wonderful beyond words to uh to finally be back in the Pulpit we thought it might be best if I Tred a Sunday night first since 3: in the morning could kill me so that was the concern of my family and uh so anyway um I've I've been here the last couple C Su morning's first service opened up the second one and went home rested and uh um and I wanted to start to talk to you Sunday night so anyway here we are and I'll try to keep it as uh not brief that's not going to [Applause] happen I have not sure what to tell you I uh I've I I'm I'm a little hesitant to talk to you about the last couple months just because I don't like uh I don't like it when people come to conclusions too quickly sometimes we go through things and we think we know what's happening when we're clueless and so I'm going to talk to you clueless and do my best knowing that uh there are weeks and months ahead where I expect the Lord to unravel more but um but I I want to do two things I I I want I want to teach out of the word I I don't like just giving personal stories I I I think it's valuable but I I just don't enjoy it personally I I'd rather open the word and and do it that way so what I'm going to do is I'm going to take you through my journey the last two months and then we'll go to the Bible so that I feel better about the evening and uh and we'll either read three portions of scripture or I'll make reference to two and we'll read one so we'll we'll just see how time goes and U yeah we'll do this this will probably be the only time that I that I actually uh actually talked about the last couple of months um last October I started um I started feeling not well and uh and it wasn't all the time it was just every few weeks I just felt real nauseated and and uh and that was that was new for me and and just started paying attention to it actually actually started increasing probably around December or so January and and uh I mean if I ever get sick I mean I never throw up so forgive me for too much information here but uh um I don't like when people talk about pooping and throwing up from the pulpit just personally not things I enjoy hearing about and I'm only going to share half of that with you so so I'm going to I'm going to spare you from all of it but uh I I actually I I had I hadn't thrown up in 20 some years and last October I just felt real sick and did and then again in December and January and on and on it just began to increase until April I was just the sickest I've ever been in my life and I was in U Copenhagen I was in Denmark and Michael uh van Tiner and my assistant is a medical doctor which is really nice to have a doctor with you and and uh he um um I was traveling with me and I just got I I spoke on a Sunday morning it's uh I I just I started towards the last half of the message started to feel real sick and I literally walked off the pulpit went upstairs to the uh there was kind of a green room and everywhere we spent time as a as a Ministry team and I went right up in there to the restroom and lost whatever I had for breakfast and then went back to the hotel room immediately missed my my 2:00 meeting that I was supposed to meet with leaders miss the evening meeting that's supposed to be a healing meeting which is always classy when you when you are puking your guts out and you can't go to a healing meeting you know I needed the healing meeting in my room and and this is the last puke story I I threw up 16 times in that day and I I just I just don't I just hardly ever do so I I just uh I I not only lost lunch and breakfast I I started to lose body parts you know vital organs started coming that's exaggeration but you get the point and uh and I I just really was sick and Michael called a local doctor there in uh Copenhagen came to the hotel room and uh gave me a shot and I noticed he washed his hands many times like I'm contaminating the planet you know and uh then of course he didn't know what it was but he he just tried to help because the next day I had to get on a plane and fly home and uh it's not smart to get on the plane if you have something contagious you don't want to get on the plane but uh because of what had been happening in my body I didn't feel it was a contagious thing I just felt there was something wrong uh that just needed to be fixed and uh anyway I I ended up uh going to the doctor i' had gone to uh gotten blood test in January and uh they ran some tests and things seemed to be fine we were hoping to be able to just to adjust with diet or whatever and and it wasn't working I was actually getting worse worse and so went back ended up getting a c Scan they found that there was like an inflammation or something in the small intestine and uh they didn't want to do anything here I I I have a surgeon friend here that that I I really care for I admire him so much as a as a doctor a man Dr Gonzalez and uh he had he had worked on a hernia that I had had and he was just such a a kind individual I thought I want him and he wouldn't touch it so I thought uhoh I have an untouchable kind but you know this guy that I admire so much didn't want so he recommended somebody in San Francisco so Benny and I set up an appointment we we went down and uh and this particular doctor uh did an endoscopy and so he goes down through the Thro and found out it was more than an inflammation it was actually a poop that had blocked the small intestine now I had not been able to eat anything for weeks and uh if I if I ate I mean I was just so sick uh just drinking in the endoscopy they drained a liter of fluids out of my stomach uh they couldn't fix the problem so they went back in to do a little rotor rooter job you know from the inside to see if they could remove it from the inside and they and they tried and couldn't and they end up coming there's another route I I heard of a man who was about to have that procedure and under his hospital gown he took a Post-It note and he stuck it to his backside and it said peace to all who enter here [Music] sorry I know you didn't sign up for this but this is it I understand that his doctor is not a very humorous person but he lost it on that one anyway they couldn't remove it from either angle wow and uh and so I met with a a surgeon um the surgeon is a Absolut amazing man I I I enjoyed every time he came into the room to talk to me he was he was you know he was just a just a gracious man he was a touch person he was a an affectionate loving person it's just so fun to interact with somebody uh with that kind of a a Grace on their life and um he's he's known all over the world for for a particular surgery that uh they were feeling they needed to do on me it's called a Whipple Whipple surgery and uh and the problem was is the the the tumor the growth inside the intestine was too close to the bile duct and so they were going to have to cut out an entire section including half the pancreas and a whole bunch of other stuff and then reroute everything and just kind of make a new setup and it's a real real I mean any the the the people that I've talked to that know anything about this surgery say don't do that just don't do that but there was no option and the only option was is If the previous doctor that had found this particular growth when he measured it if he was off by 1 cm this doctor needed one extra centimeter he couldn't make it work unless it was one extra centimeter and so you and a whole bunch of people just started praying I I tell you I have the greatest gift I think I've ever received besides the Lord himself my family is the gift of prayer support from all over the world I mean is absolutely overwhelming the amount of people that connected with us over over this this period of time and uh and the the prayer support was just literally just being bombarded with people that were crying out to God fasting praying you know amazing and uh and our our obviously our our our big cry was God please add a centimeter you know two or three if you get extra you know just put it in there just keep me from this this one that is is very very very difficult and it's very challenging on your health fallowing uh the comforting new was news was this particular doctor while it's a very rare surgery this particular doctor does four or five a week and he is probably the foremost doctor in the world on this particular so we knew just going in you got to understand going into this I I only had one word I didn't have the Lord speak to me at all during this time the only word I had I had people prophesying constantly and which I value and I have a list in here that I would read and reread and pray over I would review the prophetic words given to me over the last year two years and I which I still do I do that continuously but I I as I was getting sicker I couldn't come sometimes on a Sunday I would I would leave in the middle of a service I would I mean the most important thing for me of the year is our school of ministry graduation I mean I plan everything around that I had to miss that are the leaders advance you know all the all the stuff that that just Thrills me so much I just had to I could tell what was happening is I just had to dial down cut off everything and just do one thing trust that was all just trust and so it was going into surgery the third time under anesthesia in just you know seven days I think and um and when I when I woke up my family was there and and their first words were no Whipple no Whipple no Whipple they didn't have to do the Whipple they were able to do the other one and uh and then they said and you're not in intensive care no intensive care CU I was going to have to be in intensive care and all that stuff so that was just really good news the crazy thing is I I couldn't eat for a long time and and then from that surgery on I Didn't Have I didn't even drink a glass of water for 10 days I mean I had nothing so I I have a a weight loss program that that I can help anybody with I'm not sure if it's impart you may not want it um I'm not all here I'm not all here um I I went through that that uh that surgery and um uh here's one thing I I do fairly well I think in my life I I think I hate self-analysis but I think I do okay with this I I don't have a habit in fact I don't remember the last time I asked the Lord why on anything I don't need to know why I'm not paid to know why I just need to know what to do that's all I need to know I I don't I don't need an explanation there's a there's very little comfort in knowledge there's a lot of comfort in presence right my problem with asking why is most of the time when people tell me the reason why they didn't hear from the Lord they were just so desperate for an answer that they made one up and when you do that you end up creating a theology that that explains why something didn't happen instead of a theology that allows for something to happen that's right you've heard me share it before one man was healed at the pool of Bethesda if that were to happen today the theologians the preachers the Bible teachers the newspaper people TV people would be interviewing all the hundreds of people that were around the pool that didn't get healed because our bent in this hours to create a theology around what didn't happen instead of what God points to that did happen that's what forms the the the theology for a life and um so I I went through the the surgery and and uh and it was just you know I mean you just in there forever and uh and Benny is the ultimate Trooper she was obviously there by my side all the time and would take me for walks you know and we' walk down the aisle the hospital hallway and end up seeing people one of the nurses I had uh walks into the room and goes Papa Bill and and her sister is is a somebody that I know that actually put on a conference that Heidi Baker and I and Randy Clark and a bunch of others did here in in um where was I at I was going to say Indonesia but it wasn't Indonesia it was Thailand and just as last year and so it was it was fun to hear her and walk down the hall and have somebody recognize and ask for prayer and they they pray for me and I'm praying for their liver and you know I mean we we look a mess you know I mean we got my little uh you know my little friend going with me little little Feeder thing and finally they would unbug me so I could just go you know what hospital gowns let's talk about hospital [Applause] gowns they've been the same for a 100 years you'd think you would think somebody could develop something a little bit more advanced H hospital gowns have a lot of Revelation there's no impartation but there's a lot of Revelation in hospital GS of course I had one on the front but I put one over the back too before I went down that hole I was in there long enough to have 4 different roommates one of them didn't wear a gown on the back I'll just let me just [Applause] say and there's just some things you can't unsee you can not see it once once it's it's like there it comes back up at the wrong time I was in there long enough I had two guys go through there they had kidney transplants they got out before I did little yeah it's crazy so anyway I uh we got out Ben poor Benny stayed in a hotel there in San Francisco 19 days in total we got out I spent two more days just at the hotel there before making a drive up came home and I've just been starting to eat again and the good news is I have eaten Bambi's dad Bambi's Dad I just want you to know has been sleeping around I put him out of his ministry he no values whatsoever he beats up younger bucks it's my job to send him to meet Jesus to contribute to Revival I've been honestly I've been able to eat everything that I want to eat except for the real hot hot spicy food that I like I can't do that yet I I tried Revelation comes [Laughter] just wait you'll get a revelation in a moment and it's all right I'm working towards it now baby steps but I uh honestly I can eat my strengths returning I started working out this last week again we used to I love to lift weights I work out regularly and uh so I started last Monday sores can be from doing feather weights you know but uh but it just it's the kind of sore you like you know if if you work out it's the kind you look forward to so anyway I'm doing well I'm uh I'm thankful to uh to be alive I'm thankful to be here I'm thankful for all the incredible prayer support um I'm thankful I'm thankful I'm thankful for uh a perfect father who only does marvelous things it's actually what the scripture says says he only does wondrous things it's all he's ever done is wondrous things and um so so let me talk to you now just to shift into into the word and I'll just make references because uh it'll just be easier for me uh another time I'll do this more more thoroughly in Galatians 5 it lists the Fruit of the Spirit love patience kindness longsuffering all those fun words fun words that basically say hang on hang on and I'm going to work something in you and then in 1 Corinthians 12 we have the gifts of the Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit of course are Miracles and healings and prophecy and tongues and interpretation and wisdom and there's this glorious list interestingly the gifts of the SP Spirit are plural but the fruit of the spirit is actually all nine it's actually not called the fruits of the spirit because he doesn't work one of those things into you when he's working in you it will manifest in nine different Realms you will see patience increase but patience without love isn't worth much as so you always see his workings in us what I'd like to do is I'd like to describe these two Realms of the spirit in us um differently than I have before it's it's not a secret that that we live here for breakthrough I got to pray for two people with cancer this morning man I love it let's let's go after it Crohn's disease just line them up let's just go after and so this morning it was just wonderful to be back where I could get my hands on people and you know go after a breakthrough because that's that's what Jesus did Jesus didn't counsel people to be comforted with their problem he brought Deliverance he brought Deliverance just what he did and um that's that's the model he gave us it's it's interesting to me that I have been writing a book and I've had the hardest time finishing this book and had to put it on hold until after I got out of the hospital and it was about a third done and now I'm about 3/4 done and it'll be done within two weeks but it's on the goodness of God I had a sense in the beginning of this that the Lord was just going to touch me in a unique way to talk about his goodness I I love the subject so much I love the study of it I love I love proclaiming it I love I love everything about it he's his goodness is beyond any possible description I could give he's more faithful than I can Define faithfulness his kindness his gentleness his love his affection all the things that are literally life and breath to me he is that infinitely more and that goodness is the greatest vacuum in human consciousness that exists on planet Earth because Jesus came to reveal the father as a father to a planet of Orphans and in doing so came to reveal this father is perfectly good and so I've been on this journey we've been doing this for a lot of years certainly not anything started the last few weeks but I there's been a unique touch in fact I I've never done this in my life this is the only time in my life I had the Lord speak to me and tell me to write a specific book all the others that I've written I've actually brought to him said Lord what what about this and he's confirmed it he's affirmed it he said you know he's he's if I've had some unusual experiences where where he has spoken to me I actually I was actually resistant to writing a particular book the book on the face to face with God uh the reason uh was it was a book I didn't want to write U that's overstating it but I was hesitant to write it and the reason was because when I I spoke the series that that book is based on it scared me the first Sunday I actually when I spoke on it I actually trembled for two or three days afterwards if I just thought about the message on that Sunday morning I I literally just began to I could feel just a shaking inside and I didn't know if I could handle going through that to write a book on it and I I uh I remember just crying out to the Lord um asking Lord is what do you want me to do and uh because I I had a publisher come to me suggesting I write on that subject so and so I I was praying and it was interesting I was out of out of the city out of the state actually and I was I was just I was real quiet I was with Benny was there and a couple of my team members were there there's four of us and we you're eating at a restaurant and I was just uh when I'm when I'm thinking I get real quiet I I don't I don't talk a lot I I don't verbalize what's going on because most of the time I'm clueless about what's going on I just know something's going on and and I'm just trying to process you know that's just how how I function and bless Jesus for my wife she's patient with me but I was just processing and and uh I got up to use the rest restroom the restroom it might have been that too but I went in and carved into the wall of this restroom was the key word that that was being used for this book and it was the word Quest it was actually the series the title of the series The Quest for the face of God and I had been asking the Lord you know do I do this I long story I don't want to make it too dramatic but I but I was troubled over it I walked into the restroom and etched and most of time in Men's Rooms there are other words I try to make it a habit to look at the ceiling look at the mirror look at the paper towel dispenser anything else but the walls because the walls have information that I have no interest in I walk in and I praying at the table thinking about God do I write about the the quest and I'll walk into the restroom and etched into the wall is the quest okay all right so I had asked the Lord for direction before and he's confirmed it but never had he spoke to me about writing something and this time he did I was in a prayer meeting with pastors upstairs and God spoke very clearly he said you to write on my goodness and so I'm a little off subject but I I uh in this in this desire you know you always want to represent the Lord will I mean that's just what we do in life and the one thing I don't ever want to do is to misrepresent his goodness I know you can't exaggerate it I I get that but I also don't want to misrepresent it and uh you can distort it you can water it down and you can misrepresent it but you can't exaggerate it and so what's been boiling in my heart is his passion so during this journey I've done no writing whatsoever and I came out and came home and just it's just it's just been flowing it's just been easy it's one of the easiest things I've ever had right previous to this it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write on not because the subject is I don't know what to say just the just the challenge so since I got home I've just been writing and writing and writing and so thankful and in this bubble of Grace just to celebrate his kindness and his goodness and here's here's what I I feel like he wants me to learn I was born for the Breakthrough but when the outpouring of the Spirit came in Acts chapter 2 it had an initial purpose and a secondary purpose the 120 met in the upper room and the first thing that happened as they were filled with the spirit of God with power power Miracles began to break through the amount of conversions were stunning Peter who was not that great of a communicator previously he tend to get his foot in his mouth speaks with Incredible eloquence with such power that on the first day 3,000 people get saved suddenly there is a movement that is working throughout Jerusalem where they say at one point there could have been as many as 50,000 Born Again Believers Spirit-filled people that are connected to this God of Miracles but they all want to stay there and form this club they don't go as Jesus said to go the apostles didn't go the church didn't go so the Lord in his Mercy because the church didn't go allowed for a persecution to come is persecution God's will no does he sponsor it no but when you keep the people of God together and they start threatening the powers that exist the religious powers and the political Powers something of the Demonic stirred up in the hearts of people and the persecution came and the church began to spread well when they spread they spread as missionaries and they be began to bring change everywhere they went and the Miracles that began to take place were extraordinary what was the outpouring of the spirit for it was for power it was for miracles it was for signs and wonders it was for tongues interpretation prophecy prophecy that speaks and changes present circumstances releases the kingdom into an impossible situation the gifts of the Spirit are for the manifestation of power but the fruit of the spirit reveals the second P first purpose for the infilling of the spirit of God is that is endurance endurance endurance is what you do until you get a breakthrough endurance is what you do until you get a breakthrough I read a Psalm this morning that is probably most everybody's favorite is certainly one of them 23rd psalm probably most everyone can quote it I read it out of the passion I can't quote it out of that one but I sure do like it but I want you to listen to this he says the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want I mentioned it this morning second service I'll say it again here be uh be more connected to what God has said about you to the point where you declare it over your life in other words this what I mean declare over your life I shall not want I shall not want for anything I Shall Not There Is No Lack I am not in lack There Is No Lack in him I am rich in Christ I may have a challenge here I may have a challenge there but I don't see the Unseen realm and I am in Christ where there is no limitation no restriction no Restraint of answers and breakthrough when this was declared the Lord is my shepherd he's my pastor and because of that I shall not want I will never lack for anything I will never lie yeah but Bill you don't know my circumstances yeah I do yeah I do and some of the most important times to speak opposite of circumstances is when you're in the middle of what looks impossible I I personally think there's very few things you can do to bloody the nose of the devil quicker than to look in the middle of an impossibility and say I shall not want I shall not want I was born for divine Health yeah but you're in the hospital yep I was born to but for divine health I am being trained and equipped for divine health [Applause] I it sounds crazy to anybody outside of the Lord and crazy to a few that are in the Lord they just don't have right thinking yet the Bible says let the weak say I'm strong why reinforce what the devil says about you really says he makes me to lie down in Green Pastures that room didn't look like a green pasture to me but but I did lay down he led me beside Still Waters yep I could only look at them I couldn't drink them I I tell you I I've always admired those who fasted I I have gone on many fasts not as many as Lou Engel and some of my heroes gez I don't even want to it's not in my heart to fast like they do I I know people that when they fast they see visions of God I see visions of food now you some of you have heard the story uh several years ago I did a 40-day fast and during the 40 days I bought I ordered on amazon.com 29 cookbooks I did I don't even cook but I I would look at this picture of this food and think that's the will of God for my life that's the will of God right there I would order it cuz I I'm on that one click thing I've just got everything all figured out I don't have to fill in everything anything I go One Click Boom mine and then they bring up pictures and they say those who bought that cookbook also bought these and and I would look at them and go well I see why I I even bought on that long F I even bought a fryer a deep fryer we don't if you know my wife we don't eat fried foods but I started having visions of sweet potato fries because sweet potato fries are not fried food I don't care what they tell you it's right down the center of Health Food mandate right there sweet potato fries so I sat in the hospital room horrible channel selection on TV horrible but they had public television and in the mornings they have cooking shows I didn't know this and so I sat there hour after hour watching I couldn't drink water but I'm planning the rest of my life and I'm people say why why why do you torture yourself all I'm doing is building up hope I am I am addicted to Hope and I'll do anything I can to strengthen hope and so I watch the I just watch them cooking and it was just beautiful I I actually would sit there with my phone and they would put the name of a restaurant there in San Francisco I'd get my phone up I'd get the name of the restaurant and I'd go I'm going there joh I'm gone when I can eat again I'm going to that restaurant cuz I got to go there pitiful he makes me to lie down in Green Pastures he leads me beside Still Waters he restores my soul you know most of the time when God's working deeply in you and me we really don't have a clue what he's doing the most profound things aren't even recognizable for months sometimes years that's why I don't make you know vegetable gardens grow quick fruit trees take a while and this lasting stuff that we like to see happen in our lives really happens over over time he restores my soul he leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake here it is even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil I don't know how to tell you that I that I knew this but I knew towards the beginning of this little journey that it was going to be the valley excuse me the Valley of the shadow of death not the Valley of Death the Valley of the Shadow I will fear no evil because you are with me there are measures of your of the presence of God there are Realms of his presence you can only find in the shadow you can't find it in the party I'm the party person I mean I like the breakthroughs I in 20 years I've talked about things of this nature I doubt a half a dozen times probably two or three times four at the most I I it's just not what my life is about I I realize it's a reality but it's like I I live for the Breakthrough I live for the continuous hope I live for the promise that is yet unfilled I I I sat there in my home sicking a dog with my my iPad in front of me just reviewing prophecy after prophecy after prophecy bringing up scripture after scripture after scripture in the hospital room before going into surgery reading the prophecy the words spoken over my life spoken over my family I cannot afford to lose sight of what he said I can't afford it can for I just re over and over again I I would I would pray them I would pray these words I would give thanks for them advance I would declare let the weak say I am strong I would declare strength in the middle of weakness declare Health in the middle of of anything but health and sit there and just go over it again and again Benny would head home for the evening having been there all day and I just I just review it again just review it again just just never being more than this far away from what God is saying I I didn't have the Lord speak to me during that time but sometimes he doesn't need to speak if he's already spoken I need him to speak when he's saying something new but if he hasn't changed the subject I just need to review what he said and this is why I found I'm a as far as my appetite as far as my Hunger my goals my Visions my dreams everything about my life is is bold Faith that's what I want I want to see bold Faith come out of my life that's what I want but here's here's the secret I found bold Faith stands on the shoulders of quiet Trust yeah bold Faith stands on the shoulders of quiet trust I doubt there's a person in the room that wouldn't line up for the Bold Faith impartation because that's I mean that's as much as anybody I've ever met in my life this group of people that's what we live for the Bold Faith the breakthroughs the impossibilities to reverse and to turn but sometimes we don't know as much about him as we think we know and we can only find that by facing something for which you have no answer but you trust I wouldn't wish I don't think you have to go through anything that I went through some of you have gone through things so many times worse and anything I've ever faced so I not waving the Martyr flag here just this is my journey this is my journey and in this journey I'm more convinced than ever of his goodness I'm more convinced of ever than he only does wonders things his nearness is what is what impresses me I I I didn't have a word at all except the thing about trust I didn't have a word at all but I but I did have his abiding peace and his abiding presence and and I'm just so so thankful I'm so thankful it's like it's like the predominant feature I feel over my life is just it's just that tangible that tangible peace and um here's what he says he says he restores my soul he leads me Paths of righteousness for his name's sake but that path doesn't go where I'm thinking it's going it says even if that path takes me in where I have to actually walk under a shadow I refuse to be impressed with the shadow I refuse to be impressed even though are through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil why because he's there I found him there I have him on the other side of the Shadow but I found him in the shadow and there's a strange thing in scripture where the Lord sometimes veils himself in darkness not in evil but in darkness I remember reading a devotion of my grandmother my grandmother when she was in her final years could not read well at all and in fact eventually couldn't read it all and she was uh she was just a saint she was just a saint a saint her pictures on the Milk Carton it says Saint on the top a saint and um so she would want me to read to her and so she had certain chapters of the Bible memorized she would have certain Psalms Psalms 91 she would love to quote so I'd have the scripture there and she would quote them for me just to stay current you know she's up in her 80s and and uh and she would like for me to read to her so I remember reading uh a book I forget the title of the book now but it was as I recall it was a devotional or it was a short chaptered book if I remember right but I know the author by Corey tinboom who how how many of you have heard of Cory tinboom my uncle was actually a friend of Cory's my grandmother's oldest son was a friend of Corey timo's and uh anyway she wrote in this book she said sometimes I remember reading this to my grandma I was floored by he said he said said the Lord hides us under the shadow of his wing and sometimes it's only dark because he's so near I've got really good news for you this this is worth your evening right here you get this one down you'll do fine sometimes it's only dark because he's so near there's something about that shadow of his wing he's just he's covered himself see that's why I honestly my heart is bent towards discovering presence not answers now I like answers don't don't misunderstand me but I I God's never on trial with me I mean I I'm not going to withhold my love until explains himself I'm not going to withhold my obedience till I understand I'm not going to withhold anything from him I I I I don't need any explanations the bottom line of my life is in the last 15 to 20 years especially I have discovered the goodness of the Lord in a palpable tastable measure he said taste and see and I found out that you can see what you taste but you got to taste first that was free I'm going to charge you for the next one taste and see if you'll experience ER it your perception will increase but sometimes we want to perceive before we experience and there's something about his goodness that I I have this hope in my heart that a family of Believers like you could actually become so possessed so immersed in his goodness that the revelation of his goodness becomes contagious that people that have never had a passing thought about God suddenly begin to dream of his goodness that a neighbor who has never once prayed in their life see something happen that was favorable and they stop and they say thank you and then they don't even know who they're saying thank you to but they give thanks there's something about your life was so set the stage that maybe for the first time in history at least that I know of an entire city can taste and see that he's good that it would be palpable it would be you could smell it you could see it on house households you could see it in business you could see it in schools you could see it in the eyes of people that used to be at war with you you can see it they live from this place called the goodness of God interesting thing happened to Gideon I'm about to wrap this up just as a warning interesting thing happened to Gideon we a lot of us really loved gon because he was so fearful and we can identify with him you know he would he just he just he just had a hard time come to grips with the fact that God chose him and then chose him to do something significant and it's just a it's a it's a great story but Gideon had this had this point where you know we know about the fleece where he lays out this fleece before the Lord the Lord answers and it's a bizarre story but it didn't end there he's still riddled with fear and so finally I think it's in chapter 6 or S I think maybe it is chapter seven of Judges if you want to read it the Lord speaks to to uh Gideon he says Gideon he says if you're afraid take your your your your assistant your servant and go go with him and just go into the enemy's camp now I don't know if that's sounds reasonable to you but the enemy's Camp is what I'm afraid of and why would I want to go into the enemy's Camp if I'm afraid of the enemy but see there are some things you can't get where you're safe some things that you hunger for you've actually insulated yourself from you've set the stage so well for your comfort that you don't have access to what you've actually asked for yeah that's right rarely seldom does he give us what we ask for before we need it it's usually it's like it's like stepping onto the plane you get the ticket for the plane when you step on I mean this just kind of the way he seems to work you don't have a 3 months in advance often times you get it the moment you're stepping into that direction and so here is Gideon he's scared to death he's got this assignment that already God's sent home his entire Army he's got 300 guys and he's facing tens of thousands of Warriors he's scared and so God says if you're afraid go to to the enemy's Camp the very next scene he's in the enemy's Camp so what does that tell you yes he's afraid but he went down by night and so smart and he hears people talking two guys talking soldiers in a tent and he hears them talking and and one guy says I had this dream this loaf of bread rolled down the hill and wiped out our our tent now you know I I'm I'm not the best dream interpreter but I would be inclined to think Pizza spicy foods shouldn't have watched that TV show before he went to sleep something like that but his partner fellow Soldier says oh that's none other than Gideon the servant of the Lord and his army they're going to wipe us out how did he get that from a for barley bread rolling down the hill it's awesome and uh you know even if it wasn't the interpretation it was what Gideon needed to hear it was the interpretation so Gideon's listening to these guys talking the guy says oh that's nothing that's none other than Gideon in his army they're going to wipe us out Gideon hears that goes yes we are and he walks back out of the camp and he gets his courage but he got his courage in the weirdest place he got it in he got it in the Valley of the shadow of death that's where he got it he got it he got it where in the natural he wasn't safe but because he was sent by God he was completely safe and he heard what he needed to hear he got the word he needed to to get and uh i' I've got this sense that you know I I I never want to encourage people to be foolish but I I just got this sense that there's there's a few folks in the room that you've kept yourself so safe you've kept yourself from the present word of the Lord that is to bring the Breakthrough for your life I don't mean to do something foolish I just mean break down the barriers that have kept you safe open yourself up watch what the Lord will do he'll speak to you he'll he'll somebody will have the weirdest dream and you know exactly what it means oh that's Gideon that's the barley loaf guy that's who that is and the Lord just speaks that way he just speaks in the most unusual ways but he does it just to reinforce the call in your heart amen and here's where I I want to wrap this up tonight I'm I'm on a journey I've been the Bold Faith person not always filled with both bold Faith but at least going in that direction that's what I want that's what I live for I I would never say I've not developed a trust in him because that's a large part of my life is just the quiet trust so I've been I've been emphasizing bold Faith bold Faith bold faith I get launched into about a three-month period where nothing's working I mean the people I pray for nothing's working I can tell I I I just don't even really want to speak uh not not out of discouragement not out of depression just I can feel I'm being sit I'm being set down bill it's time to sit and I've been sitting or actually laying sitting and laying with no reason just reading promises just reading the encouraging words I've I collect words I collect encouraging words I get prophecies I have one set in here that's just all prophetic words on one particular theme so I just take all the pieces I put it in one document and I just read through it I also have my dream list on here my personal dream list I don't know how many things I have 100 this is 100 dreams but I think it's more than that but I have this page after page and I lay in the hospital just re through read through my dream list why because my life doesn't end in the hospital I'm just being trained for my dreamless that's all I'm I'm being trained for my dream I'm being trained for something else this is not an ending this is this is in a unique way A New Beginning this is this is where the renewed strength of the eego kicks in it's where it's where you don't function for a while why I don't know why but I just know it's right you just don't function for a while and it's all right my identity isn't in what I do anyway it's just not it's just it's just not I I I feel like that was settled a long time ago my identity is entirely in the one who calls my name that's it he called me by name that's my identity so bold Faith weird three months I don't want to idolize the Valley of the shadow of death because then I'll create a theology that says let's build a tabernacle here I don't want to build one there I don't want to build one in memory of the hundreds that were around the pool of Bethesda that weren't healed so I just I just want you to know that's probably the only time I'll talk about it my hands are cleansed if I do it again it'll be by accident or cuz he told me to season for breakthrough I have I have to be careful my ring doesn't fit anymore my it just just comes off I my in my bathroom I have a sink where there's no thing in the middle you know to stop things from going down I was washing my hands fli and just as a St on hole I swept down and it lended on my finger and I went oh thank you Jesus thank maybe oh I should put on a different finger maybe that would work I'm sorry this is real random isn't it if I start waving my hands and it flies out just return it to me please it means a lot to me why don't you stand though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil say that with me I will fear no evil for you are with me say that you are with me your rod and your staff comfort me isn't that amazing that his authority brings Comfort to me you know there are just how many of you are in a season right now we' say just out of feelings you don't feel that powerful right now I mean there are times I I I feel like you know what I can feel that wind of God on my back I'm just ready for the next problem you know I wish that was there all the time it's not but uh sometimes you just you just have this sense yeah I really don't feel all that powerful well you know what his authority comforts me it's not mine it's not mine it's not title it's not position you know you you get into moments the valley the shadow of death I don't I don't know I I don't want to dramatize this so forgive me if if if that's actually what I'm doing but being not able to function I I didn't have any regrets about not preaching a certain sermon not going to a particular Nation not talking in a particular service not failing to write a particular book The only things that were on my mind as family and friends just just people just people just be able to hug somebody one more time just you know just to go to the little leag game there's just no regrets there there's no regrets there you don't you don't stand before the Lord wishing you could have bought one more home in your lifetime they don't wish could have got one more college degree it's just it's all about family friends the gifts of people around you so all right that's my last crack at all of that you pray you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies shees was not bad enough going through the valley the shadow of death now he has me sitting down eating a meal with the devil watching I happen to love that verse because it's my conviction every time I say I love you Jesus God puts it on the devil's intercome he makes him listen to somebody who's in love he makes him listen he makes him listen because it reminds him word after word de day after day of what he will never have again I love you Jesus there's a banquet there prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies you anoint my head with oil my cup runs over surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life I want you to see this when you walk out of here today you're being chased by two angels one is named goodness the others named Mercy they are following you every day of your life they're just following you you can't run fast enough they're following you because they are there to add the very touch of the grace of God on your life so that you become a walking revelation of his goodness his kindness his grace his Mercy grab a hand I want you to pray I want you to pray and here's what I want you do I want you to pray for that person on your right and left God make them contagious make them contagious make them contagious make them contagious put it in your own words just pray God make them contagious let the goodness of God be seen all over their life their countenance everything about them would reflect your goodness your grace pray for their life of quiet trust pray for their life of quiet trust that's what God's Building he's building in secret the quiet trust so that in public the Bold faith can be seen we can't live a dual World pray for that the quiet trust God build in them the deep deep Foundation of quiet trust that that just instinctively turns to you regardless of circumstances absolute confidence in you God you can drop hands I just caught this picture of something is heaven sees quiet trust people around you see bold faith and it's it's not either or I I just I just want I found myself wanting to pray God I want heaven to recognize in me the absolute Bedrock of quiet trust but I want at the same time everybody around me to be impacted by your power displayed in bold Faith put your hand on your heart just in a symbolic way pray for yourself in that way do it out loud don't be a chicken do it out loud but pray like that the quiet trust Lord the heav to recognize quiet Trust and the world around me to recognize bold Faith yes God yes Lord God yes Lord now before we open this up for uh for ministry as we'll do to I um I I just had this uh this sense actually while I was talking that when I talked about bold Faith stands on the shoulders of quiet trust when I talked about that part Clarity came to some of you of what you're going through that you're actually you're in the season where God is helping to build in you something that is really stable really strong it's it's really good and that helped you to see what he was doing and I feel like we're just supposed to join our faith with you and pray Lord let this be thorough quick and take them into bold Faith thorough quick if that's you if that quiet trust thing that made sense and you you just say that's that's the season I'm in I want it done quickly but I want it done put your put your hand up cuz we're going to pray for is that like everybody who am I going to have pray for you I mean this well some of you didn't raise your hands and you're going to be really busy why don't you just do this put your hand on the shoulder of somebody in front of you behind you next to you it doesn't matter just pray for somebody that has their hand up maybe somebody who doesn't but just just pray for them yeah build something in them that all of Heaven celebrates build something in them that all of Heaven celebrates the absolute confidence and Trust in the almighty God his promises his nature his character his person his presence his goodness thank you thank you Lord thank you thank you Lord thank you Lord God wonderful Jesus wonderful Jesus let this be thorough but let it be quick we can never speed up the process but we can do a lot to slow it down so all we're praying God help us to stop getting in the way help us to stop getting in the way oh Jesus help us to stop getting in the way amen amen you did good thank you Lord all right [Music]