black men in public space my first victim was a woman white welld dressed probably in her early 20s I Came Upon her late one evening on a deserted Street in HDE Park a relatively affluent neighborhood in an otherwise mean improver section of Chicago as I swung into the Avenue behind her there seemed to be a discreet uninflammatory distance between us not so she cast back a worried glance to her the youngish black man a broad 6 Fe 2 in with a beard and billowing hair both hands shoved into the pockets of a bulky military jacket seemed menacingly close after a few more quick glimpses she picked up her pace and was soon running in Earnest within seconds she disappeared into a cross street that was more than a decade ago I was 22 years old a graduate student nearly newly arrived at the University of Chicago it was in the Echo of that terrified woman's footballs that I be first began to know the unwieldly inheritance I'd come into the ability to alter public space in ugly ways it was clear that she thought herself the Quarry of a Mugger a rapist or Worse suffering a bot of insomnia however I was stalking sleep not defenseless Wayfarers as a softy was scarcely able to take a knife to a raw chicken let alone hold one to a person's throat I was surprised embarrassed and dismayed all at once her flight made me feel like an accomplice in tyranny it also made it clear that I was indistinguishable from The muggers Who occasionally seeped into the area from the surrounding ghetto that first encounter and those that followed signified that a vast unnerving Gulf lay between nighttime pedestrians particularly women and me and I soon gathered that being perceived as dangerous as a hazard in itself I only needed to turn a corner into a dicey situation or crowd some frightened armed person in a foyer somewhere or make an errant move after being pulled over by a policeman where fear and weapons meet and they often do in urban America there is always the possibility of death that first year my first aw away from my hometown I was to become thoroughly familiar with the language of fear at dark shadowy intersections I could cross in front of a car stopped at a traffic light and elicit the thunk thunk thunk of the driver black white male or female hammering down the door locks unless traveled streets after dark I grew accustomed to but never comfortable with people Crossing to the other side of the street rather than past me then there were the standard unpleasantries with policemen doormen bouncers cab drivers and others whose business it is to screen out Troublesome individuals before there is any nastiness I moved to New York nearly 2 years ago and I've remained an avid night walker in central Manhattan the near constant crowd cover minim this tense one-on-one Street encounters elsewhere in SoHo for example where sidewalks are narrow and tightly space buildings shut out the sky things can get very taught indeed after dark and the Warren likee streets of Brooklyn where I live I often see women who fear the worst from me they seem to have set their faces on neutral and with their purse strap kep strung across their chest Bandelier style they Forge ahead as though bracing themselves against being tackled I understand of course that the danger they perceive is not a hallucination women are particularly vulnerable to Street violence and young black males are drastically over represented among the perpetrators of that violence yet these truths are no Solace against the kind of alienation that comes of being ever the suspect a fearsome entity with whom pedestrians avoid making eye contact it is not altogether clear to me how I reached the ripe old age of 22 without being conscious of The lethality nighttime pedestrians attributed to me perhaps it was because in Chester Pennsylvania the small angry industrial town where I came of age in the 1960s I was scarcely noticeable against a backdrop of gang Warfare Street knifings and murders I grew up one of the good boys had perhaps a half dozen fist fights in retrospect my shyness of contat has clear sources as a boy I saw countless tough guys locked away I've since buried several too they were babies really a teenage cousin brother of 22 a childhood friend in his mid 20s all gone down in episodes of bravado played out in the streets I came to doubt the virtues of intimidation early on I chose perhaps unconsciously to remain a shadow timid but a Survivor the fearsomeness mistakenly attributed to me in public places often has a perilous flavor the most frightening of these confusions occurred in the late 1970s and early 1980s where I worked as a journalist in Chicago one day rushing into the office of a magazine I was writing for with a deadline story in hand I was mistaken for a burglar the office manager called security and with an ad hoc posy pursued me through the labor Halls nearly to my editor's door I had no way of proving who I was I could only move briskly toward the company of someone who knew me another time I was on assignment for a local paper and killing time before an interview I entered a jewelry store on the S City's affluent near North Side the proprietor excused herself and returned with an annoy orous red doberman pincher straining at the end of a leash she stood the dog extended toward me silent to my questions her eyes bulging nearly out of her head I took a cursory look around nodded and B her good night relatively speaking however I never fared as badly as another blackmail journalist he went to nearby Wan Illinois a couple of summers ago to work on a story about a murderer who was born there mistaking the reporter for the killer police officers hauled him from his car at gunpoint and but for his press credentials would probably have tried to book him such episodes are not uncommon black men trade Tales like this all the time over the years I learned to smother the rage I felt at so often being taken for a criminal not to do so would surely have led to Madness I now take precautions to make myself less threatening I move about with care particularly late in the evening I give a wide birth to nervous people and Subway platforms during the Wii hours particularly when I have exchanged business clothes for jeans if I happen to be entering a building behind someone who appears skittish I may walk by letting them clear the lobby before I return so as not to seem to be following them I've been calm and extremely congenial on those rare occasions when I've been pulled over by the police and on late evening constitutionals I employ what has proved to be an excellent tension reducing measure I Whistle Melodies From Beethoven and Baldi and the more popular classical composers even Steely New Yorkers hunching toward nighttime destinations seem to relax and occasionally they even join in the Tomb virtually everybody seems to sense that a Mugger wouldn't be warbling bright sunny selections from vival these four seasons it is my equivalent of the cowbell that hikers wear when they know they are in bare country the following is the edited version of black men in public space it is known as being called simply from parallel time which is Brent Staples autobiography this is an edited version of that original black men in public space essay at night I walked to the lak front whenever the weather permitted I was headed home from the lake when I took my first victim it was late fall and the wind was cutting I was wearing my Navy PE jacket the collar turned up my hands snug in the pockets Dead Leaves scuttled in shs along the streets I turned out of Blackstone Avenue and headed west on 57th Street and there she was a few yards ahead of me dressed in business clothes and carrying a briefcase she looked back at me once then again and and picked up her Pace she looked back again and started to run I stopped where I was and looked up at the surrounding Windows what did this look like to people peeking out through their blinds I was out walking but what if someone had thought they'd seen something they hadn't and called the police I held back the urge to run instead I walked South to the Midway plunged into its Darkness and remained on the Midway until I reached the foot of my street I'd been a fool I've been walking the streets grinning good evening at people who were frightened to death of me I did violence to them by just being how had I missed this I kept walking at night but from then on I paid attention I became expert in the language of fear coup's locked arms or reached for each other's hand when they saw me some crossed to the other side of the street people who were carrying on conversations went mute and stared Straight Ahead as though avoiding my eyes would save them this reminded me of an old wife's tale that rabbit dogs didn't bite you if you avoided their eyes the determination to avoid my eyes made me invisible to classmates and professors whom I passed on the street it occurred to me for the first time that I was big I was 6' 1 and 1/2 in tall and my long hair made me look bigger I weighed only 170 lb but the Navy P jacket that Brian had given me was broad at the shoulders high at the collar making me look bigger and more fearsome than I was I tried to be innocuous but didn't know how the more I thought about how I moved the less my body belonged to me I became a false character riding along inside it I began to avoid people I turned out of my way into side streets to spare them the sense that they were being stalked I let them clear the lobbies of buildings before I entered so they wouldn't feel trapped out of nervousness I began to whistle and discovered I was good at it my whistle was pure and sweet and also in tune on the street at night I whistled popular Tunes from the Beatles and above all these four seasons the tension drained from people's bodies when they heard me a few even smiled as they passed me in the dark then I changed I don't know why but I remember when I was walking West on 57th Street after dark coming home from the lake the man and the woman walking toward me were laughing and talking but clammed up when they saw me the man touched the woman's elbow guiding her toward the curb normally I'd given way and begun to whistle but not this time this time I veered toward them and aimed myself so that they'd have to part to avoid walking into me the man stiffened threw his head back and assumed the stare eyes Dead Ahead mouth open his face took on a bluish Hue under the sodium vapor Street lamps I suppressed the urge to scream into his face instead I glided between them my shoulder nearly brushing his a few steps Beyond them I stopped and howled with laughter I called this game scatter the pigeons 57th Street was too well lit for the game to be much fun people didn't feel quite quite vulnerable enough along the Midway were heart stopping strips of dark sidewalk but these were so frightening that few people traveled them the stretch of Blackstone between 57th and 55th provided better hunting the block was long and lined with young trees that blocked out the street light and obscured the heads of people coming toward you one night I stooped beneath the branches and came came up on the other side just as a couple was stepping from their car into their townhouse the woman pulled her purse close with one hand and reached for her husband with the other the two of them stood Frozen as I bore down on them I felt a surge of power these people were mine I could do with them as I wished if I'd been younger with less to lose I'd have robbed them and it would have been easy all I'd have to do was stand silent ly before them until they surrendered their money I thundered good evening into their bleached out faces and cruised away laughing I held a special contempt for people who cowed in their cars as they waited for the light to change at 57th at Woodlong the intersection was always deserted at night except for a car or two stock at the red thunk thunk thunk they hammered down the door locks when I came into view once I had hustled across the street head down trying to seem harmless now I turned brazenly into the headlights and laughed once across I paced the sidewalk glaring until the light changed they' made me terrifying now I'd show them how terrifying I could be e