are you frustrated that men don't pursue you do you wish you knew exactly what you should do to get men chasing you like a hungry hyena once we discuss the five reasons how Detachment will force men to chase you you'll have all the answers you need to get the men crawling on their knees let's discuss wanting versus having there's a difference between wanting something and Desiring it because you don't have it versus is actually already resigning to the fact that you have it and it is yours you can only be in a state of wanting and Desiring when you don't have when you're lacking and see we always talk about mindset and spirituality on this show uh because mindset and spirituality and all the things that you can't necessarily touch with your fingers majority of what relationships really are you know up in here and maybe in here because when you acknowledge that you desire hire something or you want something you're also in uh subsequently acknowledging that you don't have that thing and you might think well what's wrong with that that's just me being honest about my situation that's just being honest about my life that's just being honest about what it is but the reality of it is that mindset that I don't have the thing will also make it harder to attract the thing you have to be in a state of already having it in order to attract it into your life it's the same reason whenever you hear people talk about affirmations do you ever hear someone discuss an affirmation and say okay repeat after me I wish I was beautiful I wish uh I was loved I hope I can be cared for I hope that people will respect me um in my relationships you don't speak like that because you're not speaking from a place of wanting you're going to speak from a place of already having so your affirmation would be I am beautiful I am worthy of love I am this I am that right it's a state of already having and already existing in and so as it relates to Detachment when you begin to detach from these uh men and these uh relationships right in the process of dating in the process of um getting to know people you detach yourself also from the outcome and so detaching yourself from the current situation or the current person you're dating and allowing yourself to say I already have the love that I desire and I'm detached from the outcome of this situation or any future situations because I know that the love I desire and the relationship I'm looking for already exists and I'm and I have it right it's in my grasp regardless of what is in front of me regardless of how the person uh who I'm in a relationship is treating me I have the relationship that I want and detaching yourself from outcomes is so important because as you begin to become more and more attached to the outcomes your anxiety grows and your feeling of I'm in lack I don't have enough of this I don't have what I need I'm not where I'm supposed to be this relationship isn't resembling who uh what what I'm anticipating or or expect from my relationships right you continuously believe that you're in a position of lack you're in a position where you don't have the thing and so what does that continue to attract that continues to attract the energy of not having that continues to conf confirm all the narratives you're playing in your mind people don't love me people don't respect me guys don't want me guys don't want to chase after me right this is part of why detaching from your relationships and your situations can become so important part of that whole mindset of I don't chase I attract is accepting that whatever it is you're choosing to attract you already have that not oh I don't chase but I wish maybe if I could possibly attract I would maybe kind of sort of try my best to attract what I possibly can but maybe I'm not worthy of of a lot no I already have the thing I attract the thing I am not I wish to be I am right that's the whole mindset and that's the shift that you have to take in order to properly see what you want to see so in order to get the men to desire you and pursue you and chase you you literally have to resign yourself to the fact men chase me men desire me men pursue me period I don't see anything else I don't believe in anything else there is no other alternate reality in which men don't chase me pursue me or desire me and and and want to be with me desperately let's discuss situation versus person I want you to understand that as you begin to detach yourself from the situation and the relationship and resign yourself to the idea that I already have the thing I'm not in search for the thing I don't lack the thing it's already existing in my life you also detach yourself from the idea that my version of a great relationship or the relationship that I'm seeking for is existing inside the person I have to be dating right now okay I know that sounds bad you begin to understand I'm not here to necessarily Force this relationship to happen with you the specific person I'm looking for a specific situation and that situation could be a plug andplay with anybody who fits the criteria of what it is I'm looking for okay see when you detach yourself from uh the specific individual and you allow yourself to be more focused on I'm just looking for the right situation you're never in the business of trying to change people you're never in the business of trying to fix people you're never in the business of trying to uh adjust people's behavior or just be like oh if I could just change this one one thing if I could just change this one Behavior if I could just make them more like the person I want them to be no instead you begin looking for the person that embodies what you were already searching for that's a very big difference why because when you're looking for the person who embodies what you were already searching for you're not trying to change people or adjust people you actually are instead trying to do the job of understanding people and learning people and in the process of learning and understanding them you then are able to see is this person the person that I've been searching for do they have the qualities that I was already looking for are they embodying the character and personality traits of the partner that I want to be with and the reason I say that is because that mindset shift is very critical to preventing yourself from being in situations too long or being in the wrong situation or sitting around trying to get someone who isn't acting right to act right because all of that is an absolute waste of your time when it should be spent focused on what it is you want and only focused on finding that and nothing else and I know some of you are probably thinking well but that doesn't really sound like love that doesn't really sound like you care that doesn't really sound like you really appreciate anyone that you're with it sounds like you you just really don't care about any of the situations or the relationships that you have that doesn't necessarily mean that you can still care care about your relationships and the people that you spend time with and the people that you're in in a relationship with while also giving them the space and we'll talk about space in a bit while giving them the space to actually show you that they are the embodiment of the person and the relationship that you're looking for okay just because you're detached from the idea that it has to be them that doesn't mean you're not still invested in learning if it is them there's a difference and so the choice becomes very simple the only men you begin to attract are the men who understand that they need to show up how you expect them to show up in what your understanding of a uh good and healthy relationship is based on what your needs are or they will not have access to you very very simple number three is Clarity it's such a powerful thing that happens when you detach yourself from the outcome or the fact that it has to be the person you gain so much Clarity in your relationships because you have so much more ability to observe things for what they are and put real honest logic into those things okay right because now that you have the clarity of what you're seeking and now that you're not emotionally attached to the idea that oh it has to be you me and you are have to be in a relationship me and you have to be together or it's it's got to work if it doesn't work you know I'm going to be uh thrown out of whack if it doesn't work my world's going to end right right once you become detached from that you begin having so much Clarity where you're able to observe people for who they are you're able to learn them for who they actually are not who you want them to be you're able to actually receive them as they really are with the mask off and then you're able to actually make a real determination on if they are the person you were looking for or if they aren't which is a very very important determination to have and you need to be making that determination based on real actual information in in turn and how it affects the guys is because you have that much more clarity because you have that much more understanding of what you're looking for and how other people you meet might not be that and that's perfectly fine and you're going to walk away from that you stop yourself from being strung along in these situationships in these talking stages in these all these messed up messy situations where guys will just not really tell you what's going on but they kind of like you but you're kind of thing but you're not and all this confusion that you go through where you just stick around hanging around hoping that things will change hoping that things will work out because you really want it to be this guy that things work out with and the moment you stop sticking around you will notice that the men you begin to meet and even the men you begin to date are a lot more intentional with you because your energy now is projecting outwardly of someone who understands what it is I need what it is that serves me and you're not looking to invest your time or energy into anything else so if I like you as a man and I want you as a man my only option is to fit the mold of what you want and to be intentional with you because I know if I stop being intentional if I start stringing you along if I start playing games with you and playing around with you and and not making things clear and having a whole bunch of confusion you will walk away number four I want to discuss the energy shift you begin having more confidence within yourself and within your relationships change your energy shifts into someone who knows what they want knows what they're looking for and also knows what they're not looking for that breeds confidence because once you have that confidence that I know the value that I bring to the table I know the value that um I bring as a wife as a woman I uh understand that in return for that I am deserving and I have in my life and I will have in my life a man that embodies everything that I want men receive that confidence because trust you believe you me I'm a man trust you believe you me let's trust in each other men know who they can mess around with string along play around with and who they can't and it's something that you pick up on very quickly when you meet someone right it only it doesn't take too long to pick up on is this someone I can mess around with and you know play around with and not take seriously and not respect and disrespect or is this someone that requires respect requires uh my uh utmost attention and requires my actual Focus okay or else I won't get access to them I guarantee you a man's approach to his dream girl is going to be very different to uh his approach to a girl who's been begging for his time and attention why not because one woman is better than the other but because he understands there's certain things he can get away with with the girl who is begging for his time and attention and desperate to to be with him versus his dream girl because more than likely his dream girl has a plethora of options in fact she has so many options it'll actually take convincing for his dream girl to even want to be with him so if you believe in your hype you will embody that and the guys will also believe in that conf that that confidence that you have in yourself stems from the value that you actually have which is why they begin pursuing you because they're like oh my God if I get this girl I'll have something and someone specifically that is so valuable that everyone else wants because the only way she can be this confident in herself the only way she can know her worth so well is if she was actually very valuable the same way vice versa the only way she would accept less than not the bare minimum the only way she would stick around even though I'm not giving her respect is if she had no value and so when you detach yourself from those outcomes and you detach yourself from it being that person now your energy shifts and you're confident in the fact that you don't need it to be you I am whole with or without you so if you want to make this work then you'll figure out how to make this work based on what I need and what serves me now number five let's discuss space because detaching yourself is also not texting him all the time not calling him 24/7 not trying to be up in his face and literally in the process of dating him literally dating him you're in a detached state where you're not necessarily needing to speak to him all the time you're not necessarily needing to be around him all the time you're not necessarily begging for him to try and hang out with you and and be around you that space that you give when you detach yourself from people is actually what makes guys even more attracted to you because when they receive that space from you that and that time alone is the only time when they actually have space to desire you and want you and want to be with you you see desire cannot exist where you are already present the more access to you he has the less he's going to desire you because how can you desire someone who already exists in a 100% capacity where there's nothing left more to desire like I want I want you to think about this logic that's why it's so I always tell you guys especially even at the very beginning of a relationship you should not be trying to be as present as you possibly can 24/7 you should actually be trying to be as distant as you possibly can and as detached as you possibly can 24/7 that way all of that room in between you guys can be filled with him Desiring you and trying to pursue you now obviously there's a balance to this you don't want to go into an extreme where he feels like you're not interested but you're literally giving him just enough just above not interested that he still feels like you're interested just enough for him to continue pursuing you constantly like a hungry hyena that space that you give people when you actually genuinely detach from them is why they come crawling to you and they start pursuing you the same day that you finally detach yourself from the guy and say to yourself okay I'm actually good now I actually don't need this relationship I actually feel better going on in my life without this relationship and I realize why it didn't work out that's the same day that he'll literally text you or call you and be like I miss you so much baby I just I can't I can't get enough of you and I just I'm so sad without you and life is not the same without you and he'll start telling you about all the memories don't you remember when we walked down the the the the the the park and then we went through this this magical flower bloom and how amazing it was and how I told you that we'll be together for the rest of our and he'll start reminding you about all these different memories that you had right to try and get you emotional again and you'll be like I literally literally literally today it was today today that I just got over the situ why are you texting me this now are did you are you spying on me do you are you watching me on a camera how did you know that today was the day that I finally got over you and this is the day that you're going to text me and say all this stuff that is exactly what happens when you actually detach from people not fake detach when you actually detach from people and detach yourself from the idea that oh I need to be with you it needs to be you as soon as you do that people start saying oh well it doesn't it doesn't have to be me oh uh you you don't you don't need it to be me oh oh you don't you don't really care if it's me wait but wait but wait but wait wait a second don't don't don't walk away wait a second I I can I can show you that it's me what do you need is it $1,000 do you want me to you want to get your nails done your what what do you need you want to Sugar that I don't know like I I just I didn't know that you didn't you don't care if it's me what do you mean am I not good enough for you right and it triggers people because when you're when you're with them they're expecting you to be so invested in them that you can't see or think of anything except them and this is the thing especially for men they've become accustomed to being able to show up in women's lives get the girl invested get you invested and then after they get you invested they kind of ease off the gas pedal okay because they realize that once you're invested you're hooked now and once you're hooked they don't have to do as much in fact sometimes they'll do even less or show who they really are which is not in line who with with the person that you invested in and not what you signed up for it's like a bait and switch