Transcript for:
Melanie Klein's Object Relations Theory Overview

Okay, so for today we will discuss Melanie Klein. So this theorist is one of the most, not controversial, but one of the most difficult to teach, especially for male instructors. It's difficult in a way because what we're talking about here is good breast, bad breast.

So it's all about the breast of the mother. Isn't it weird? He thought Freud was weird. There are other weird ones. I mean weird in a sense that it's hard to, it's very unusual to think or talk about these kinds of things.

But that's how psychology works. So psychology is a bit weird. So you should know that when you enter psychology.

We'll discuss the quiz later. what happened to the quiz. So Melanie Klein claimed that her theories are quite Freudian but Freud himself did not acknowledge her so it's a bit sad but it's always like that.

And then her daughter Melita was also a psychoanalyst and was hostile to her and she focused on analyzing children as opposed to Freudian tradition of analyzing adults and her rival was Anna Freud. So these are the basic facts about her but the main, probably the most important is her daughter has not, I mean, is hostile to her. They will not follow her daughter.

It's quite ironic because in her theory, she said that the relationship of mother and the child is the most important thing. And the development of personality. So, hmm, there's something, right? She's very ironic. So her theory is what we call object relations theory.

So object relations refer to the objects, which is objects of the drives. Later, we'll talk about why it's object relations. So Klein insisted that infant drives, hunger, sex, and so forth, are directed to an object, a breast, penis, vagina, and so on. So the drives of the infant, as you remember, they are almost the same as Freud's drives. So there's a sex drive, there's a death drive, and of course there's a hunger, a physiological drive, a hunger.

So those drives usually have objects. So these objects, these are the things they take or they use to relieve or to get rid of the tension of the drive. Because for example, you're hungry, it means... you need something but something is food therefore food is the object of hunger and of course sex is a drive and um so those are the objects so uh Remember that, these are the objects.

Later, we'll talk about that more. So according to Klein, the child's relationship to the breast is fundamental and serves as the prototype for later relations to whole objects such as mother and father. So according to Klein, the first object that concerns the child is the breast. Because the breast gives everything. It gives the nourishment, it gives the...

Breast is not just about hunger, sex is also given, the sexual need and also the thanatos, the destructive needs. Later we will talk about why it is like that. Thus, Klein's ideas tend to shift the focus of psychoanalytic theory from organically based stages of development to the role of early fantasy in the formation of interpersonal relationships. So, Freud is very obsessed with the internal, the id, ego, superego, how those three interact. He has no interest in social relationships.

For him, it's the same as all people, all children are angry with their parents. But it's not the case because according to Klein, you can change or modify that. So, the relationship of the child to the breast, If you want the breast, if the breast is good or bad, that will be the prototype or the basis for all of his future relationships.

Because that is the prototype object. And the objects are not limited to food, breast, penis, or vagina. The objects eventually will grow into the whole person.

So the relationship. relationships of mga tao. Okay?

So wrap your head around that. At first it will be weird but if you will learn the language of psychoanalysis, you won't be able to understand it. I know some of you will be like, huh?

What? No, it's okay. I'm like that too. But eventually as you read, you'll understand. So some basic premise and assumption.

So object relations theory places less emphasis on biology, as I've said. It focuses on interpersonal relationship. And Freud focused on the father, right?

Did you notice that Oedipus complex, it's all about the father, it's all about the male, it's all about the paternal side. And Klein said, no, that's not the case. The relationship with the mother is still more important. Because the mother is giving the intimacy and nurture. And that intimacy and nurturing, that's our basis on our relationships.

Last year, there was a saying that our mother lacks in her problems of personality development. So if you've watched Klein, Hell is also like that. Although, Hornay has less emphasis on the breast.

More like, there's hostility and anxiety. And then, object relations theories generally see human contact and relatedness, not sexual pleasure, as the prime motive of human behavior. This is what they've changed. Klein said that people don't just want sex.

They want... human contact and relatedness. As of now, human contact is deprived by other people. So others are depressed, they have problems with their mental health because we need that, we need human contact.

It's not enough to just Google Meet or Zoom because eventually it will disappear. Eventually, physical contact is still needed. So I hope COVID will end, although I doubt.

Your online classes may be until next year, until next school year. Okay, so all the different drives may seem to have separate aims. Their underlying aim is always the same to reduce tension and that is to achieve pleasure.

So the object of the drive is any person, part of a person or thing through which the aim is satisfied as I mentioned earlier. Klein and other object relation theorists begin with the basic assumption of Freud. and then speculate on how infants feel or fantasize early relations with mother or the breasts become a model for all later interpersonal relationships.

So from now on, you will always remember that it all starts with Freud's ego, superego. And then there are drives, sexual drives, death drives, aggressive drives. That's all. Sa mga theories na to is psychodynamic theories.

Lahat ng mga psychoanalysis based na theory, we call them psychodynamic theories. Tapos mula kina Klein, ang tawag dito is neofroidian psychology. We can also say that Jung and Adler are neofroidian but their theory is very distinct kay Freud. For example, Adler and others because they are really different. Although they are still psychodynamic theorists, we cannot say that they are Neo-Freudian.

Because their concept is different. From now on, from Klein to Erickson, you will always remember that their basis is psychoanalysis. So if you don't understand psychoanalysis, it will be hard for you to understand the next theories.

If you are not yet familiar with Freud, I suggest you read more so that you can understand it. But I guess you are familiar now, so that's not a problem. So, we'll start with Freud's premise. That's the only difference along the way. In Klein's case, their main difference is that first, interpersonal relationship is the main motivator, not sex.

And then, our relationship with the mother are the object, like the breast and the... And everything is the prototype of our relationships. Freud doesn't have that.

So an important portion of a relationship is the internal psychic representations of early significant objects such as mother's breast, father's penis that have been interjected or taken into the infant psychic structure. So here, One of the differences between Klein's theory and Freud's theory is that Freud's theory doesn't say much about infants. He said they are just a bunch of idds.

They don't have an ego, they cannot process anything. They are just there. They are just id.

But according to Klein, that's not the case. Because Klein said that when a child is born, it has an id, ego, and superego. However, the ego and superego are not yet developed like that but they're still there. So therefore, the child can process something. However, it's very primitive.

It's not as sophisticated as the older ones. For example, the representations of early significant objects. For example, the mother.

The child will not see the whole mother when she is born. The first thing he sees in the mother is the breast. Because the breast is the only thing he cares about. Basically.

Because that's what he feeds on. So, the way he or she, the infant, sees or treats the breast, if that breast is good or bad, that will determine if their relationship is good. So, we can see that in the psychic life of infants.

So, that's it. Sabi ko nga, mas mabilis mag-develop yung bata according kay Klein compared sa ano ni Freud. So, infants do not begin with a blank slate. Meron silang predisposition for reducing anxiety caused by the conflict of life instinct and power of death instinct. So, may life instinct na, may death instinct na yung bata.

Bata pa lang yan, ha? So, It's not true what the kids are saying. They say, that's just a kid.

The kids understand what they're doing to them. This is a misconception especially in the Philippines. I don't know, maybe in the whole human race. They think that children, infants do not know what is happening around them.

That's false. Anything you do with them or anything you do for them or about them or against them, they will remember. Not... remember in a kind of uh i think you know i'm gonna buy a taco mommy uh they will remember in a primitive way in how they perceive the relationship when they grow up they they do not like their mothers because they remember but not remember word for word but they emotionally remember they uh They have this fantasy.

Kasi ang mga bata daw, may fantasy sila. PH yung ano yan. Fantasies are the psychic representations of unconscious instinct. They should not be confused with the conscious fantasies that older children and adults.

So yung mga fantasies na to, ito yung parang, kasi diba pagbata, hindi naman nilang word for word talaga yung nangyayari. So they have representations. Very archaic, very primitive nga.

representations and we call them fantasies. So these fantasies are very simple. It's either you're good or bad. So if the breast is not feeding them well, then that breast is bad. If the breast is feeding them, I mean, if the breast is feeding them not well, I mean, they're not feeding them well, then the breast is bad.

If the breast is feeding them, they don't care about their mother, they only care about the breast. the breast is good if that's the case. So that's how simple their thinking is. That's why they really remember. And then, Klein would say that infants who fall asleep while sucking on their figures are fantasizing about their mother's good breast inside themselves.

So hungry infants who cry and kick, they are fantasizing of destroying the bad breast. So if they feel like the breast is good, they will they will try to interject it they will try to uh if we try not to be logical too much uh and if they're the breast is bad they will try to project it, they will try to remove it from their personalities. And they will kick, they will cry.

So that's fantasies, that's how fantasies work. So fantasies, of course, work in tandem with objects. So as I've said, the objects are the objects of the drives.

So the earliest object relations are with the mother's breast. But very soon, interest develops in the face, and then the hands, and then the whole mother that attends to his needs or gratifies them. So objects, as I said earlier, objects start with a simple thing, and that simple thing is breast.

This is applicable for both male and females. So this might also explain why both males and females like breasts, because that is the first object they have a relationship with. at least in their fantasies.

Okay? So that's how you know. And so, that's probably more obvious for males because males are more likely to show their sexuality while females are less likely to show their sexuality. But it's the same thing.

Both males and females like breasts, no matter how you deny it. So that's a good explanation that is in the breast is our first relationship with the world actually not only with not only in general but talagang yun lang yung world mo noon. So this fantasies, these objects, nangyayari, kumbaga may laging may fantasies yung mga bata with regards to the objects. Yun nga lang...

It changes depending on the time or depending on the development stage. So, the client doesn't want to call it developmental stages. What he wants to call it is positions. Why positions? Because if it's stages of development, the timeline is too constricting, the technicalities are too constricting.

So, it's better if it's just positions because sometimes, it changes. The position changes every now and then. But it's not that strict, unlike development. So the positions that the child has, his birthplace is two. Paranoid schizoid position, that's the first.

And then later life or later infancy is depressive position. So these positions are an attempt to deal with the dichotomy of good and bad feelings. As I've mentioned, fantasies are all about good and bad, life and death. If the breast is giving life, that is good. If the breast is giving aggressive tendencies, parang hindi binibigayin gusto mo, that is death instinct.

Gusto mong sirain, gusto mong i-destroy yung breast because it's not good, it's bad. So infants organize their experience into positions or ways of dealing with both internal and external objects. So, ang unang position is yung paranoid schizoid position.

A way of organizing experience that includes both paranoid feelings of being persecuted and the splitting of internal and external objects into good and bad. So, paranoid schizoid, it's more of paranoid yung bata. Kasi yung bata, yun nga, meron siyang life and death instinct.

Yung death instinct is ayaw niya. He doesn't want to feel it. It's like an id. So because he doesn't want to feel it, internally or externally, internally means that he has an aggressive tendency, and externally, the breast is not giving him what he wants, so that he won't feel that he will be persecuted by a bad breast, what he will do is split it. He will do something different.

There is a version of good breast and a version of bad breast in him. That's splitting. So that he won't... That's only one breast. If he labels it as a bad breast, he won't be labeled as a good breast.

Because that's how simple their fantasy is. But if the kid will split it, there are two breasts, a good breast and a bad breast, and then the good breast will be taken, he will interject it to himself, then he or she will feel good. And then the bad breast will be projected, and then there's no debt. instinct sa kanya or mawawala yung feelings ng death instinct sa kanya.

So that is paranoid schizoid para mawala yung persecutory feelings ng bad breast which all children feels internally man or externally. And then eventually mapupunta siya sa depressive position. The feelings of anxiety over losing a loved object coupled with a sense of guilt for wanting to destroy that object. So sa depressive position naman eventually after ng paranoid schizoid, marirealize ng bata na he doesn't want the object to disappear She's afraid to leave the object. So the object here, usually they're not just breasts anymore.

They will start to recognize the mother herself. They will... but it's still the breast, okay?

They will have the feeling or anxiety that, I might leave this breast. And then coupled with sense of guilt because there are times that she wants to break the breast, as we've mentioned, so it's like an exquisite. So the child gets depressed.

She experiences depressive position. But this is different from personality disorders. These are just positions.

The client just adopted the names because they sound the same. I mean they sound essentially the same in their essence, in their function. So, in paranoid schizoid, the desire to control the breast by devouring or harboring it, at the same time, in destructive urges, that's what I'm saying, they have the biting or tearing tendencies. So, So, I already discussed it.

Okay, so this proverbial splitting of the world into good and bad serve as a prototype for subsequent development of ambivalent feelings towards a single person. If the child is not able to move on from splitting good and bad, he will have a simple worldview. If he is a tender, he will have a worldview where everything is simple.

It's either good or bad. If that's the case, that's immature. Because the world is neither good or bad. It's a mix of good and bad.

If a person cannot have the ambivalent feeling, there are times when there's this person, or there's this person in our lives, friend or special someone, that we love them and hate them at the same time. Because that's just it. It's complicated. There are people who are super perfectionists.

If they see something that is not good in a person, they will automatically assume that that person is bad. It means, according to Klein, that person who is just looking at the world in black and white, good or bad, they are not able to move on from their paranoid schizoid position. They have this tendency to be perfectionists. They have this tendency to be...

narrow-minded. It's either you are good or bad. It's either you are dilawan or you are DDS.

It's not that simple because the world is not that simple. It's called false dichotomy. There's no such thing as good and bad only.

There is such thing as you are mostly good but you have bad sides and you're very bad and you have some good sides. That's how the world works. Now, if you think that the world works in black and white, you're either good and bad.

You should shift your course. Because in psychology, if you cannot have that ambivalent feelings or ambivalent opinions, then you are not worthy of becoming a psychology major. Because people are good and bad at the same time.

Okay? That's it. Gray area, yeah.

No? Hindi. It's not true that fairy tales are only about the good or evil.

They always be, no, that's not true. Most of the time, the evil are succeeding. Most of the time, the good are not succeeding. But eventually, it's not about the results, it's all about the journey.

It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Anyway, that's another topic for another day. But the point is, children use good and bad label but adults do not use that if you still use that and you're an adult then you are still a kid you just have money okay so next depressive position naman eventually they will realize that the person will the realistic picture and recognizes that she is an independent person It's like that's her world, literally.

But eventually, she realizes that the breast can go. She can also leave. And then, she is an independent who can be both good and bad. The ego is beginning to mature to this point.

She's already having an ego, a relationship with the external world, as opposed to the paranoid schizoid that everything is internal. And then the ego is beginning to mature. and can tolerate some of its destructive feelings rather than projecting them outward. So as I've mentioned earlier, they're splitting, the kids, the infants.

They're projecting the bad side of them to the bad breast. And then eventually, they realize that it's not allowed because we all have our dark sides. So the infant realizes that the mother might go away and be lost forever, feeling the possible loss of the mother. The infant tries to protect her, keep her from danger of its own destructive forces, those carnivalistic impulses that has previously been projected onto her.

So he will have an urge to protect the mother from himself because that's what he wanted to do when he was a child, he wanted to break the breast. Uh... But the infant's ego is mature enough to realize that it lacks the capacity to protect the mother, and thus the infant experiences guilt.

So parang, ay, hindi ko pala mapipigilan sarili ko. Magigilte yung bata. So the depressive position is resolved when the children fantasize that they have made reparations for their previous transgression, and when they recognize that their mother will not go away permanently, but will return after each departure.

So matatapos lang ang depressive position. Kapag natanggap na ng anak or nakatanggap na ng bata na kumbaga ipo-forgive niya yung sarili niya dun sa mga death instinct niya or dun sa mga destructive behaviors niya. And then ma-accept niya na hindi naman forever aalis yung nanay.

Babalik din siya at babalik din siya. Ngayon, if hindi bumalik yung nanay or feeling yung batay, hindi bumalik yung nanay, ah, dun nagkakaroon na naman ang problema. Okay? So as you can see, there will be a problem if the personality development is not in a good resolution.

So same thing with Melanie Klein. So they are able not only to experience love from the mother but also display their own love for her when the depressive position becomes successful. An incomplete resolution of the depressive position can result in lack of trust.

morbid mourning, the loss of a loved one, and variety of psychic disorders. That's what I said. If the child didn't realize or failed to realize that the parent will not return, or the parent will return, for example, the parent will not return, or the parent will not notice, there will be a lack of trust. And this lack of trust will... Carry over hanggang pagtanda ng bata.

Hindi lang ito magiging limited sa kanyang childhood, eh ma-spill over ito sa kanyang adult life. Kaya yun nga yung mga sinasabi ng mga student na kulang sa aruga, eh totoo yun. Kapag kulang sa aruga yung bata, most likely wala siyang tiwala sa ibang tao. And kapag wala siyang tiwala sa ibang tao, eh talagang gagawa siya ng mga bagay na hindi magugusta ng ibang tao.

Kasi nga wala siyang tiwala. So, the ones we mentioned earlier, you can see I have already mentioned the defense mechanisms like splitting, interjecting, and projection. So, these psychic defense mechanisms are used by the children to protect themselves from their own death instinct. Because as I mentioned, the child has two instincts, death and life instinct. So, to resolve those two, or to reduce the anxiety, they use defense mechanisms.

So, the first defense mechanism is interjection. ah dito i incorporate ng bata yung good thing sa kanyang personality for example the good breast ah and then the projection naman for example yun nga merong ah merong bad instinct or merong death instinct yung bata ang gagawin niya is papasa niya sa bad breast projection ah ngayon as i've mentioned kanina siyempre kahit literal na dalawa yung breast e iisa pa rin yung breast so how will they how will they know if How will they interject and project if there's only one breast? They will split. They will split the breast.

There are good breasts and there are bad breasts. There are two versions of the breast. So, by splitting, they can merge. It's not like they can merge.

By splitting, they can merge. But ironically, yes. By splitting the breast, they can hold two beliefs.

Two. incompatible beliefs at the same time. Those incompatible beliefs is that that breast is good and bad. So they will split it. And then the most complicated defense mechanism according to Klein is the projective identification.

It's a combination of projection and interjection. So what a child or a person will do, even adults do this, is that The bad instincts and bad impulses that they have is they will project it on a person. They know that they're projecting it on the person, usually close relatives or close relationships, so that person can clean up that impulse.

And then eventually, when he cleans up, he will interject it on himself. It's like he's just washing away the bad impulse from other people. So this psychic defense mechanism is which inflates split of unacceptable parts of themselves, project them into another object and finally interject them back to themselves in a changed or distorted form.

So for example, those who have masochistic and sadistic tendencies, that's like SM, right? Sadists will project their sadism to the person that is masochist. They will also project their sadism and then that masochist person will accept that. It's like there's a good thing for them. And then eventually, that person will interject their bad side, that it's not all that bad, in my opinion.

So, it's a bit dark, but in that context, in my example, it's very dark. But it tends to also be a good thing. Not just...

I mean, in your example, in Bukis, the... It's about their couple. you can read that naman uh you know what i said sorry but oh yeah uh you you will have maybe more mild examples projective identification because the point is you project your bad thing onto a good onto a something an object or a person usually a person or part of the person in children's case and then you will that for that that impulse is transformed and then you will interject it again. Medyo complicated, no?

Bakit di mo nalang baguhin sa isip mo? Well, logic doesn't apply in psychoanalysis. Okay, so internalizations, same with Freud, meron nga ang ego tsaka superego. Although yung kay Kleyn, yes, I've mentioned ego is developed earlier. At birth, meron na.

It's strong enough to feel anxiety and use defense mechanism. from early object relations in both fantasy and reality. Super ego, there's also.

But Freud said that a 3-4 years old will have a super ego. Klein said no, the super ego will appear earlier. And the super ego is more harsh and cruel according to Klein.

So the ego, it becomes... I said earlier that it appears earlier. He is the one who determines the good and bad, he is also the one who uses the defense mechanism. So as infants mature, their perceptions become more realistic and they no longer see the world in terms of partial objects and their egos become more integrated. So this is around 3 or 4 years old.

So in the case of the super ego, K. Freud, it produces anxiety, he said, right? But Klein said, no, it produces terror.

So to Klein, young children fear being devoured, cut up, and turned into pieces. fears that are greatly out of proportion to any realistic dangers. So Klein rejected Freud's notion that super ego is a consequence of Oedipus complex.

Instead, he said, the super ego grows with the super ego. So, she insisted that it grows along the Oedipus complex and finally emerges as realistic guilt after the Oedipus complex is resolved. So the super ego is more harsh in the first place, but because of the Oedipus Complex, it will tone down.

That's the point. According to Klein, the Oedipus Complex started earlier, not 3 or 4. All of them are earlier than Klein. She hypothesized that during early stages, the Oedipus Complex serves the same for both genders.

And the point of the Oedipus Complex for Klein is for the children to have positive feelings toward both parents union and goal and he the post complex debate better in cave ready by Hindi ganon but I'm identification long with same-sex same-sex parent no I'm a simple but okay client para mas abina and goal and he the post complex is Pagkaron on good feelings in bata so parents both parents not only the male not only the female So... The version of the Oedipus Complex is also different according to Klein. So Klein, the female, this is the story of the female Oedipus Complex.

So the female, she sees her mother in a normal setting or in a normal development. The female child will see her mother as a companion. Something like that. The female child fantasizes about Father's Penis as a giver of gifts to her mother. So the penis of the father is giving gifts to his mother and will develop a good relationship with it.

So it goes smoothly, the child will have a good relationship with both parents. It's like the female child will realize that penis is a good thing, it gives gifts. So therefore, those gifts are children.

Therefore, she will have a good relationship with the penis and of course, she will have a good relationship with the mother. Because they are like companions of her mother. In a less favorable development, the female will see the mother as her rival. The feeling of the female child is that her children are stealing her gifts from the penis of the father.

And she will then project this impulse to her mother. It's like the feeling of the child because the child wants to steal the child's mother. And then he will project to the mother that he will steal the child's mother. And therefore, they will have a bad relationship. Isn't it fun?

The Oedipus Complex. So that's the story of the female Oedipus Complex. In the male Oedipus Complex, it's more complicated. It has a bit of homosexuality here. So the feminine...

The male will have a feminine position if he shifts his oral desires from the mother's breast to the father's penis. So next, he moves to a heterosexual relationship with his mother, but because of his previous homosexual feeling with his father, he has no fear that the father will castrate him. So in a normal development, the father and son will be friends.

Tapos yung father is magkakaroon ng heterosexual relationship with the mother, in a psychic level lang, hindi yung intercourse level. Parang hindi siya mag-guilty kasi nga naging friends sila ng tatay niya. The boy must have good feeling about his father's penis before he can value his own. So as the boy matures, however, he develops oral sadistic impulses toward his father and wants to buy his penis and murder him.

Para magpakaroon ng plot twist big lang. Okay, there are still some castration here. Psychoanalysis.

So, this feeling surrounds castration anxiety and the fear that his father will retaliate against him by biting off his penis which will convince him not to have sexual intercourse. So, because of that fear, the fear that his father will castrate him, the child will be stopped to have that sexual feelings with his mother. Because he feels that the ending will not be good.

And then the boy's Oedipus complex is resolved only partially by his castration and scipy. A more important factor is his ability to establish positive relationship with both parents at the same time. So at that point, the boy sees his parents as whole objects, a condition that enables him to work through his depressive position. So, that's it.

So these are the things that happen simultaneously. We just put them together so that we can have an idea. But...

The front paranoid schizoid position, the splitting, and then the depressive position, the projective introjection, sabay-sabay nangyayari yan. So hindi sila step-by-step. Kapanganak ng bata, yun nga may drive siya.

And then yung mga drives na yun is nagko-compete. So therefore, mapipilitan ng bata na magkaroon ng paranoid schizoid position wherein nag-splitting siya. I-introject niya yung good breast.

he project name bad breast and then eventually Maria lies Nana ambivalent you mundo a mama good me mama bad so much a convention and depressive position of if you can mention and thinking that but I even said and Magulani I think I realize now independent young Magulang good shine bad at the same time and then you edipus complex at the same time is Magana done mug realize done and that after now edipus complex and the number of co-complete the young person and development. The point here is that if something went wrong in the relationship of the child with the breast and eventually with the father and mother, there will be a problem with the personality. So that's how our object relations work. The object Our relationship with our objects will determine our personality. If your first relationship with your object aka the breast is bad, generally bad, therefore, you will have a bad personality.

Not a bad personality but a more abnormal personality. But if you have a good relationship with that, the relationship will be better. So eventually, these... The object relations of Melanie Klein is that there were updates.

And these updates are three theories, actually four. Four of them developed further in this theory. So the first one that developed is Margaret Maller.

Here, they're not that Freudian. There's no id, ego, super ego much. But the focus on relationship with the objects is still there.

So, these are not neofloid anymore, these are contemporary. So, Margaret Mahler, an individual's psychological birth begins during first week of postnatal life and continues for the next three years. So, psychological birth means that the child becomes an individual separate from his primary caregiver. Because when you give birth to a child, especially infants, it's hard for them to separate. It's like they don't have an identity yet.

Their identity is tied with their mother. It's like an extended pregnancy. That is special in humans. For example, in other animals, when they give birth, they run away. For other animals, it takes 4 years to give them identity, to give them independence.

So once they have independence and individual, separate individuality, that is already psychological birth according to Mahler. So what are the stages of psychological birth? First stage is normal autism.

This is 3 to 4 weeks old. 0 to 4 weeks. So newborn infant satisfy various needs within all-powerful protective orbit of the mother's care. What is this?

In other words, all the needs of the child are in the mother and she gives everything. Neonates have a sense of omnipotence because like unhatched birds, their need... are cared for automatically without their having a sorry to expend any effort the kids feel very powerful because they have a big mouth they have food so she referred to normal autism as an objectless stage a time when an infant naturally searches for her mother's for his mother's breast so this is objectless because she doesn't see the breast as an object He sees the breast as part of himself.

It's connected to me. That's how he sees the breast. It's not a separate thing. Eventually, in the second stage, there will be a normal symbiosis. So in this, it's 4 to 5 weeks old.

During this time, the infant behaves and functions as though he and his mother were an omnipotent system, a dual unity with one common boundary. So if first, he feels like he's alone with his breast, now he has the idea that there is another being. Isn't symbiosis like that? Two beings helping each other to become more powerful. So that's symbiosis.

Here, the child will realize that there is another being. There is another being helping him. But he still feels omnipotent with the help of that being, with the help of that object.

So by this age, the infant can recognize the mother's face and perceive her pleasure or distress. This is where you realize that, oh, there's a mother. Just kidding.

Oh, my mother is here. She has a mother. So this object relation, however, object relations have not yet begun.

A mother and others are still pre-objects. They are not objects, but they are pre-objects, meaning they already have something that connects with the child. And then the third stage, this is where separation and individuation happens.

This happens between 5 months old to 36 months old. So 36 months is around 3 years old, right? So children become psychologically separated from their mothers, achieve sense of individuation, and begin to develop feelings of personal identity.

So this is where individuality happens. It's like they're psychologically separated. Young children in separation and individuation stage experience the external world as being more dangerous than it was during the first stages. So, here the omnipotence disappears. Here the sense of powerfulness of the child disappears because they realize that the world is very dangerous.

So, it has four overlapping sub-stages. So, first is differentiation. Marked by a bodily breaking away from mother-infant symbiotic orbit. So, first, the mother and the child are in a relationship, right? But eventually, the mother gives independence.

And then practicing, children easily distinguish their body from their mothers, establish specific bond with their mother, and begin development of autonomous ego. This is where the child realizes that he is separate from the mother. And usually, this is a one-year-old who practices. practice, walk, and assert independence. And then, in the approach, they desire to bring their mother and themselves back together, both physically and psychologically.

This is 16 to 25 months. This is two to three years old. If you notice, the children, after they learn to walk, they always walk. But eventually, they will return to being the mother's ikey or the tail of the grandmother.

It's like... In the Akampang Pangin, it is said that the mother has a long tail. The child is also following the mother because the mother wants to have her child back. She wants to have her omnipotence back. But eventually, it is not possible.

So the last sub-stage is the libidinal object constancy. During this time, children must develop a constant inner representation of the mother so that they can tolerate being physically separate from her. So, ang magiging resolution niya sa reproachment is to have a representation of his mother sa kanyang isip.

Para, kumbaga, alam niya na yung mother niya is nandyan pa din. Hindi siya iiwan. Kasi merong anxiety nga yung bata na baka iwan siya as in talagang nada, yung wala na talagang mother. But when the child thinks that his mother is still there, I mean in spirit, and eventually she will come back, or she will come back again, then it will be said that the child has a separated psychological birth. So libidinal object constancy.

So any errors made in the first three years, the time of psychological birth, may result in later regression to a stage when a person had not yet achieve separation from other and that's a sense of personal identity. Kung nagkaroon ng problem dyan, ang tendency yung psychological birth is stillborn. Hindi siya magbirth talaga. So magkakaroon ng problem.

Walang identity yung bata. Masyadong nakatay yung identity niya sa object. Hindi siya nag-separate.

That's also a bad thing. Very different na siya kay Klein kasi wala ng ego, superego, Oedipus complex. But it's still object relations. Next is to Hinds Kohat. Sorry I'm in a hurry because we only had one meeting to talk to Klein.

So Hinds Kohat is emphasized that the process by which self evolves from a vague, undifferentiated image of clear and precise sense of individualized identity. So Kohat said that self starts as vague, without identity. In other words, isa siyang prototype lang. Wala siyang something.

Eventually, magkakaroon ng sense of identity yung bata as he or she grows old with the help of the parents. So infant requires adult caregivers not only to gratify physical needs but also to satisfy basic psychological needs. So ano yung mga psychological needs na to? Yung mga psychological needs na to mamaya. Sige.

So in caring for both physical and psychological needs, adults or self-objects treat infants as if they had a sense of self. So, as Kohot said, for the child to have a sense of identity, you should treat them as having a sense of identity immediately. Let's go back to my observation that some parents, especially, well, some parents, they think that their children do not have a sense of identity when they are born. And the tendency is that they treat them as though they are just things or just animals or pets. That they don't understand.

Hey, don't do that. He doesn't understand that. They don't understand that. The tendency is that they don't give the child a sense of individuality. So the tendency is that if you don't give the child a sense of individuality, he himself won't be able to sense that he is an individual person.

So if you input something, that's his output. So the self gives unity and consistency to one's experiences, remains relatively stable over time, and is the center of initiative and recipient of impression. So it's a center of initiative meaning kung may sense of identity ka, you know what you will be doing.

And receptive impression ibig sabihin you can feel what others are doing to you. So the self is also the child's focus of interpersonal relations, shaping how he or she will relate to parents and solve objects. So yung self din yung parang nag-interpersonal relationship.

Kung wala kang self, wala kang relationship. Anong i-coconnect mo sa iba kung wala kang i-coconnect? So infants are self-centered, looking out exclusively for their own welfare, and wishing to be admired for who they are and what they do. So they have two narcissistic needs, the need to exhibit grandiose self, and the need to acquire an idealized image of one or both parents. So this is the psychological need that Heinz and I are talking about, and our narcissistic needs.

So as I've mentioned, everyone is a narcissist in their own way, because we are wired to be like that. we have two needs grandiose self and idealized image of both parents so grandiose exhibitionistic self is established when the infant relates to a mirroring self object who reflects approval of its behavior so ito yung mga times na kung saan yung bata yung talaga nagpapasikat siya diba yung sayaw sayaw siya ganyan tapos iyaan na siya kung baga kung ano yung ginagawa ng matanda yun yung gagawin niya kasi feeling niya yung mga matatanda eh sila yung sila yung magbibigay ng approval sa self niya, sa identity niya. So kapag yung bata is hindi mo pinansin, pag nagpapapansin siya na ganoon, ang tendency is bababa yung self-esteem niya.

Pero kung masyado naman na binibigyan mo siya ng chance to become grandiose, to the point unrealistic na, magiging narcissistic yung bata. And then the idealized parent image naman is supposed to grandiose self because it implies that someone else is perfect. So yung idealized first...

parent image naman is parang gagayahin niyo yung parent. Kung baga, yung grandiose exhibitionistic self, it's all about, wait lang, ginagawa yung kodigo ko. It's all about if others see me as perfect, then I am perfect.

Ang idealized parent image naman, it's all about you are perfect. Batayang ma part of you. So therefore, I'm also perfect.

So kung, kung pag nagkakaroon sila ng idealized perfect image ng parents nila. Therefore, pag perfect yung parent nila, sila din perfect. Okay?

So parang ganun yung ano nila. Pag both narcissistic self-image are necessary for healthy personality development, however, both must change as the child grows older. If they remain unaltered, they result in psychosis.

pathologically narcissistic adult personality so you know if my shadow finance in a shadow moon because I'm pangan pin you know me young bata a McGeegy narcissistic so it's all about the balance no I like a lagging balance get a massive in the joke okay so yeah next is young kay John Bowlby no man you're looking for you know no Lennon's echo dynamic perspective dito. Kay John Bowlby naman, it's the attachment theory. He firmly believed that attachment formed during childhood have the important impact in adulthood because childhood attachment are crucial to later development.

Bowlby argued that investigators should study children directly and not rely on distorted retrospective accounts of adults. So before kasi, ang tinatanong ng mga researchers yung mga magulang. But Bolby said, why are you asking your parents?

They are distorted. Of course, they will say what their perspective is. So, the children should talk about it. So, he focused on separation anxiety. That's what he taught the children.

He said there are three stages. The first is protest. The child will protest, maybe he will be left behind.

Then, when he is left behind, he will have despair. The child will be in a daze. and then detachment. Parang, sige, bala ka kung iiwan mo ko, ayoko na rin sa'yo.

That's detachment. So detachment, according to Bowlby, is unique to human beings. As mentioned, Bowlby believed that yung relationship natin with the caregiver, usually the mother, must create a secure base for child.

Because kung ano yung unang relationship natin, ganun din yung magiging later relationships natin. Second assumption is that, attachment theory is that a bonding relationship or lack thereof becomes internalized and serves as a working model for future friendships and love relationships. So, basically, they're just saying what relationship you have with your mother is also a kind of relationship you have with your mother. friends and special someone.

If you are not in good terms with your parents, most likely you will not be on good terms with every people that you will meet. Okay, so Kale Bowlby, he didn't mention anything regarding the types of attachment. The person who created the types of attachment is Mary Ainsworth.

So Mary Ainsworth is heavily inspired by John Bowlby's attachment theory created an experiment to determine what attachment styles meron yung mga bata. So yung strange situation, parang i-simulate lang yung separation anxiety. So nandyan yung bata, tapos yung caregiver niya ilalagay dun sa room, and then yung caregiver niya aalis. Tapos may mga toys yung bata. They did that to a lot of kids and they eventually learned that there are three types of attachment.

Based on their reaction when the mother left. So the best attachment style is the secure attachment. When their mother returns, infants are happy and enthusiastic and initiate contact. For example, they will go over their mother and want to be held. So those with secure attachment, when they were left, there was a separation.

Then the mother returned. They are very accepting to their mother. So that is the secure attachment. It means that they did not have a detachment to their mother.

It's like they know that they are safe with their mother. Then next is the anxious-resistant attachment. Infants are ambivalent.

When their mother leaves the room, they become unusually upset. And when their mother returns, they seek contact with her but reject attempts to be being soothed. So for the anxious-resistant attachment, They are very, the parent will leave, then they will cry, of course, that's natural.

They will become upset. And then when the mother will come back, they will not accept the mother. It's like, girl, you were crying earlier, now your mother is here, you don't want to see her. So that is anxious-resistant attachment.

It's like a baby. And then next naman is angshous avoidant attachment which is this style, infants tail count when their mother leaves, they accept the stranger and when their mother turns, they ignore and avoid her. This is wapakils attachment style.

Very, hiniwan mo ako? Sige, pakil lang ako sayo. Parang ganun siya.

So ganun yung angshous avoidant attachment. Obviously, secure attachment is healthier. It means that the mother and the child have a good relationship. Therefore, the child is not afraid to leave her completely. But in anxious attachments, there is a thinking that the mother is detached.

She doesn't trust the relationship that they have. And according to Ainsworth, these attachment styles carry over until adulthood. So therefore, if you have a secure attachment with your mother, most likely when you grow up, you will have a secure attachment with your friends and family. So these are the ones that are not insecure in a relationship.

Not jealous, not jealous. Because they know, they're secured. That the people around him or her will be always there. And then, anxious resistance and anxious avoidance, they are most likely to have problematic relationship because they do not have the trust.

They are not secure in their relationships. So they will have some feelings about it, negative feelings specifically. So, psychotherapy of Klein basically This is just for Klein, not for later theorists. So Klein said, it's the same with psychoanalysis, but with the application for children. And negative transference can happen with children.

How to do that? You will use play therapy. Instead of dream analysis or free association that Klein uses, what he will use is play therapy.

Because in play therapy, the unconscious of the child will appear. Watch the kids playing. That's how you'll know what's in their unconscious. Because usually, children... It's easy for children to access their unconscious since they're not that detached from it.

So basically, it's the same with psychoanalysis. So, no problem. Okay, so my discussion was quick.

So far, any questions? I hope you read the book. This is the fastest we can discuss in one hour.

Okay. So basically, how your relationship is with your mother or your caregiver, that's what your relationship will be in the future. If you're not able to do it in a proper way, the tendency is that you'll have problems with your personality.

And if you're not able to do it properly, you should just balance it. So, I'll extend this to Hornai because they have the same recommendations but different foundations. Okay? So, yeah. I will stop the recording.