hey guys I hope you are all doing well uh for those of you who doesn't know me this is HRA I do a lot of I used to do a lot of a studying video with me and I really enjoyed study with you guys and it has been a while since I was on YouTube I just want to give you guys an update and just felt like sharing this piece of I don't know something that I lately learned that I think it's going to be beneficial because I know that when I was doing live sessions in the chat I was seeing a lot of you guys struggling with your own selfconfidence and selflove and practicing authenticity and there were a lot of insecurities about really loving yourself and really believing in yourself um yeah I just want to share something about that as well first I'm really sorry I have't been on YouTube and was not holding a lot of settings session with me uh mainly because I was really honestly enjoying my own free time is studying I've been doing a lot of studying not that I had nothing to do to do or study but mainly I was just trying to explore and for the first time really take the time and really um get to know myself a little bit more and that is by being lonely not not lonely but by isolating myself and reflecting a lot of things in how I can become a better person by getting to know myself better and yeah I feel like the last two three months or four months it has been has been quite a journey for me because For the First Time I really learned how to love myself by loving myself I think there's this concept of like self love means um what is the word for it self love means your narcissistic self l means that you're selfish but there's this beautiful saying from this book that the lack of self- Lov is selfishness so if you cannot love yourself that makes you be more selfish rather than if you love yourself uh so I've been exploring a lot about how I can love myself because that question itself raises another question of like who who really I am um what really represents me because the things that I do like school or like um like my nationality or my story it is only part of who I am but not entirely because for someone to know themsel they need to go within inside themsel and question a lot of things to get to know thems on a soul level right because there are a lot of qualities that you have a lot of things and beautiful qualities and characteristics that every individual have um the reason I want to share this idea about self love is because I used to be on social media and I deleted all my social media and the main reason is that because when I was there there was often a lot of comparison with other people right and even now sometimes like when I see people achieving and doing a lot of cool things and like automatically the first thing that comes to my mind is that oh wow they achieved that I wish I could have done that too and then I try to bring myself back to um mindfulness that everyone has their own path and journey what I have done and they have not done it or you know it's it's totally different story but me deleting social media and I guess isolating myself and asking a lot of questions and reflecting it really T to me about how much less and almost to like zero level degree right we know ourself like literally I feel like we don't know ourself at all by that I mean we try to associate ourself and our identity by external stuff by attachment right so I am basically my relationship I am my basically degree at University I am my story or I am what I tell myself and a lot of the time I am what you guys tell me right because I don't have a solid core foundation for myself to determine that and when that is determined when I see other people doing things or when I see people commenting or not commenting that does not really matter because it does not change the reality of the Identity or the core foundational identity that someone makes for themselves right so that is something I've been exploring and that's why I was not on social media or not social media I was not on YouTube much because I was really enjoying in understanding myself I was like listening I was taking the time to listen to myself listen to the thoughts and story that I feed myself and question things like for the first time question things now question the relationship that I'm in question the relationship that I have with myself more important right question everything that I do on a daily basis like what does it really mean like does it represent anything is it really something that I want or is it because I have like crazy attachment to to it like where does my insecurity comes from for example right or or or like the lack of confidence for example or like um like I think a lot of people have body insecurity I used to have as well but uh not not anymore uh even sometimes still right like I wish I was that kind of I had that kind of body I wish that cloth was fitting me like I used to have that as well but like questioning where does that come from right and I realize a lot of it comes from how I guess societal Norm which means like sometimes whatever Society is telling you then automatically we believe that and then we take that to our subconscious beliefs right and then our subconscious beliefs creates that thoughts as a reality of our identity for example I know about like let's say social media right there's a lot of comparison and I used to before when I had social media like let's say a year ago I was like posting right and the main idea of posting a lot of the time was oh a single like would make me just so happy a single comment someone telling me that I'm beautiful or someone telling me that congratulation you're amazing stuff like that right would automatically make me happy right it was like a dopamine effect that that had on my identity and like like how I was perceiving even myself right so basically their comment likes and thoughts was just mirroring back and giving me like dopamine happiness and and like but that was very temporarily right because there are two ways of getting to know yourself right first first the first one is the most important one is internal and then external and I know that a lot of the time we really talk about it which kind of becomes a cliche like oh internally knowing or what does that really mean and external but external external I mean it means that you associate your identity by other people's opinion or you associate identity by external attachment or very physical stuff right A lot of the time for example if someone graduates with a very fancy school or you know have a fancy degree or have a career then their entire ident to establish around that career right and because we don't know like what other qualities we have and that's why we're not really happy because a lot of the time when we are seeking happiness we're desperate to hear someone's opinion about us and that should be good and if someone criticize us then we just literally going to lose our mind right if someone tell us you're not beautiful then we're just going to internalize that like oh my God God I'm not beautiful and then your world is over right same thing with internal knowing of your identity which means that you question things and make your own solid foundational identity based on what you think you are not what Society tells you or what the norm have been feeding you off of it right for example internally I really think that I am I really think that I'm a very kind uh very generous person and a very dedicated hardworking right and this is not to like as a character quality that people like oh also everyone says like I am hardworking but when this comes this understanding comes from internally like no matter if people tells me or not I am going to be driving and going in that direction to achieve my goals or not right I don't need other people's opinion for example or internally I know that I am because of a lot of qualities I know that I am a beautiful person or I have a beautiful characteristic and I add or contribute to the world simply by just being me and speaking my truth about who I am right and by who I am I mean like the identity and reality that I create create for myself not Society creates it for me right for example um for example about um let's see um I feel like we could talk a bit about self-confidence right like where does self-confidence really come from and I know that people like labeling things like oh my God you're so confident especially for women if you see a woman who's independent and confident we like oh confidence she's so confident but it's not about confidence or that label itself right but when you are yourself and when you know your own truth of your own identity and you know what represents you What feelings associated with you like real you then literally you don't care about anyone else and that is how confidence steps in it's not like you don't care it's like you don't associate meaning to it at all right for example for me I am going to be who I am and that is confidence speak my truth and not allow someone else to uh walk over me for example or let someone else to silence me or someone else to um stops me from doing what I'm doing would like stop me from being and who I you know practicing who I am my authenticity basically and if I stand up to this person right then then I never feel guilt I never feel ashamed in fact it just is more empowering even if I get rejected I it's not like i' not get rejected I did I got rejected a lot in fact I got rejected recently too um but those things like for example rejection right that's another example or failure a lot of the time because we have so much attachment to it we attach our own self identity with that person I guess or that achievement or success or anything that you want to achieve right and then if they reject us because we don't know ourself then all of a sudden our world collapses and all of a sudden we lose ourself because we think that the person that rejected you it has to do something with you because there's something wrong with you and that's how Society is going to tell you it has been telling as it's just basically a norm but the truth is it has nothing to do with them we often internalize those voices but it has nothing to do with you and same thing with what was the other one failure we're so afraid of failure because the story We Tell ourself is that failure means something is wrong with you failure means that you're not smart failure means that you have something lacking and failure is always compared right with something else with someone else we have this uh Norm of comparison comparison in our society right which is really bad so when you know yourself on a or understand yourself on a deeper level right for example like the recently um I got rejected right from something and instead of me thinking that that is about me or even thinking about it as a rejection I sought it as something I can learn and I and that learning was to not internalize that there's something wrong with me or there's something about me that the person or the a job offer or the opportunity rejected me right instead I just let myself let that be let those people let those opportunities go because it has nothing to do with me and I still maintain my focus and I still speak my truth and I still be me whether I get into some program or not whether I um have these people that I want in my life or not because it does not change change my reality and identity it does not change the foundational um bridge I guess that I built internally right because now that I know myself because knowing yourself does not need validation from other people like desperately like there's something that I have to heal and everyone seeks validation right and I used to do like desperately right uh but I learned that validation is okay from receiving healthy good people in your life but wanting to often seek validation it's not because it always takes you down it hunts you because with seeking validation there are always expectations right and then when you when those people don't fulfill the expectation then you're the one who's always disappointed and feeling like really beat up or or feel like you're stuck you can't move on right and that's when we cannot be ourself we cannot speak Our Truth we cannot tell us we like [ __ ] off like what's you know it has nothing to do with you um yeah so if I want to connect it back to self love like recently I've been practicing a lot of those and how I just want to be real me I want to be KRA and by that it means I'm going to be kind to anyone you know to everyone I'm going to have my boundaries when people walk over and I'm going to just say it to their face um you know I'm going to speak my truth and I'm not going to lose my confidence if someone want to reject me or if an opportunity wants to reject me or or if people don't validate or people want to criticize me you know that literally it feels like it's a wall it's not going to affect me because deep down I'm not those things right so by knowing yourself that's what it means like you know what you are and what you're not and what you're not you you don't assoc keep associating meanings to those things and it does not really bother you anymore because you know because you're not afraid to be that person and you don't you're not insecure in your body you're not insecure in the kind of person you are you're not insecure in what you do basically right because at the end of the day it's realizing and understanding that everyone is on a beautiful different journey and everyone is supposed to contribute to the world in a different way and that's how we change the world not by one person you know digging in this illusion of I want to change the world and then like you wake up the next day you just realizing that youve not change you can't change the world you can't change the world you can only well you can change the world by changing yourself first and that changing starts from very deep way within you um yeah self love means like because you love your body you love the person that is inside you right because for the sake of that person you want to draw boundaries for the sake of that person you want to protect your own energy and health you don't want to internalize things for the sake of sake of your own goals because if you want to achieve those goals you need to have um you need to have confidence you need to have uh not let what people thinks or people's opinion affect you you need to know what works for you what doesn't work for you and what people serves you and what it doesn't and letting them go and that is definitely something I'm working on as well it's very hard but it's a process right it's a process um yeah I don't know I just wanted to share that with you guys you know just have conversation in chat with you guys and let me know in the chat Below in the comment like what do you guys think about this have you thought about it ever like questioning who you really are who are you without people's comments without people's opinion who are you if you didn't have the family that you have like who are you if you didn't have the job that you have um right like just see what you can find there's literally there's no wrong or right answer but I guess it everything starts from questioning and exploring right there right and that's how you can find yourself and yeah I just want to share this with you guys I hope you enjoyed the talk I'm sorry the video took so long it's like almost 20 minutes uh but I'm going to be updating I don't know like videos like this and talk about my journey of like how I've try to discover myself and be authentic and not care about what people really thinks um yeah uh I'm going to be holding moreing session with me soon because I'm getting my [ __ ] together all of it and so many good news that I want to share with you guys and yeah I hope you guys are well healthy and if you are not I'm sending you love I'm sending to all of you love and HS and just so you know that you are a very beautiful person so allow yourself to find that so because if you ever literally you know get to know yourself you don't want to be anyone else you just want to be that person that's in you already and that's literally how I feel every single day you know because I getting to know myself and just knowing how honestly of a beautiful soul and dedicated person and all those things I am you know and I literally just don't want to be anyone else because I know how amazing this person is in me um by this I don't really like complimenting myself but really really knowing and believing that and that is not coming from ego but that is the truth and of course everyone has their own dark side as well I do have and I'm learning about it every day but how can we Embrace both dark and the light or I guess the good qualities of you because that's how we are you know nothing is perfect or no one is perfect Perfection I think is learning you learn Advance progress that is what Perfection is it's not like you're just born to be perfect there's literally nothing is perfect um yeah all right I love you all see you soon in the next video enjoy I literally I did not want to make this video but I I just felt like I want to say hello and chat with you guys love you