Lecture Notes: The Importance of "Yet" and Choosing Comparisons Wisely

Introduction

• Common parental sayings can be annoying but have significant underlying truths.
• Example sayings: "It is what it is," "Don't let fear make your decisions," "Exactly what's supposed to happen will happen."
• Focus on two key sayings: "Yet" and "Choose your comparisons wisely."

The Power of "Yet"

• Concept: Utilizing the word "yet" encourages perseverance and growth.
• Personal Story:
  • Struggles with learning percussion and calculus.
  • Father’s advice: "You can't do it yet," emphasizing persistence and learning.
• Research by Carol Dweck:
  • Mindsets: Fixed vs. Growth:
    • Fixed Mindset: Abilities are seen as static; focus on showing intelligence rather than developing it.
    • Growth Mindset: Abilities are starting points; effort and practice lead to improvement.
  • Encouragement from early age through stories (e.g., "The Tortoise and the Hare," "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider").

Growth Mindset

• Characteristics:
  • Embrace failure as a learning opportunity.
  • Believe in development through effort and motivation.
• Cultural Examples:
  • "Just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo illustrates perseverance.

Grit

• Research by Angela Duckworth:
  • Grit is the tendency to maintain effort toward long-term goals.
  • Successful people exhibit high levels of grit and resilience.
• Study Example:
  • Comparison of students with higher vs. lower ACT scores.
  • Students with lower scores often outperformed due to greater resilience developed from overcoming challenges.

Choosing Your Comparisons Wisely

• Concept: Be careful who you compare yourself to, as appearances can be misleading.
• Stanford Duck Syndrome:
  • Ducks appear calm above water but paddle furiously underneath.
  • Humans show polished successes publicly while struggles remain unseen.
• Research by Emmons and McCullough:
  • Focus on personal achievements and gratitude over comparing to others.

Benefits of Gratitude

• Personal Benefits:
  • Increased happiness and optimism.
  • Lower levels of depression and envy.
• Social Benefits:
  • Strengthened relationships through expressing gratitude.
• Practices:
  • Daily gratitude exercises like writing or expressing thanks.

Conclusion

• Remember the importance of "yet" and making wise comparisons.
• Although easy to dismiss parental advice, the sayings provide valuable insights.
• Embrace the power of choice and perseverance in life goals.

[Applause]