Transcript for:
Musical Performance Themes in Baltimore

Oh, oh, oh, woke up today feeling the way I always do. Oh, oh, oh, hungry for something that I can't eat. And I hear that beat, that rhythm.

That rhythm of town starts calling me now, The town starts calling me down. It's like a message from high above. it's like a message from high above.

Oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, pulling me out to the styles that I love. pulling me out to the styles of the streets that I love. Good morning!

Good morning Baltimore. Good morning Baltimore, Every day's like an open door. every day's like an open door. Every night is a fantasy.

Every night is a fantasy, every sound's a symphony. Every town is in front of me. Good morning Baltimore, Good morning Baltimore.

and someday when I take to the floor, And someday when I take to the floor the world's gonna wake up and see The world's gonna wake up and see Baltimore and me! Baltimore and me! Oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, look at my hair. look at my hair What do you get to bear with mine today?

What do you think of me? Goodbye today Oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I've got my hair sprayed on radio I've got my hairspray and radio. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to go The routes on the street All the answer out of my head The rats on the street all dance around my feet.

They seem to say, They seem to say Tracy is up to you So oh oh don't hold me back Cause today all my dreams will come true Good morning Baltimore There's the flasher who lives next door There's the woman who's bar and school They wish me luck on my way to school Good morning Baltimore And someday when I take you home Tracy, it's up to you. Oh, oh, oh, don't hold me back. Cause today all my dreams will come true. Good morning, Baltimore.

There's the flasher who lives next door There's my kids far and sore They wish me luck on my way to school Good morning Baltimore And someday when I take to the floor The world's gonna wake up and Take to the floor, the world to see. Baltimore and me I know every step I know every song I know there's a place where Baltimore and me. I know every step, I know every song. I know there's a place where I belong. I belong I see all the I see all those party lights shining ahead.

those party lights shining ahead. So see how one evening might be before I drop dead. So someone invite me before I drown dead.

I'm a movie star, Suck a hook of you, oh, a chance, oh, as I start to dance. oh, something inside of me makes me move, I'm a movie star. Oh, oh, oh, something inside of me makes me move When I hear that murmur, when I hear that groove. my ma tells me go My thoughts tell me no, but my dreams tell me go But my feet tell me go It's like a drummer inside my heart It's like it's a rumor inside my heart So, oh, So, oh, oh, oh, don't leave me, don't make me need one more moment For my life to start leave me one more moment for my life I love you Baltimore, I love you all too far Everything's like an open door Our hearts are sweet Every sound is symphony everything's like an open door, every lie is a fantasy, every sound is a symphony. I promise we'll take to the floor We're all done I promise Baltimore That Sunday when I take to the floor The world's gonna wake up and see Gotta wake up and see Baltimore!

See, gotta wake up and see, And it's more or less the other way Baltimore And I'm coming over so soon Baltimore, Baltimore, Baltimore, Baltimore and me. everything Hey there, here in Baltimore, we've got a touchback now, Baltimore, because it's time for the morning show. don't touch that channel, Watch if I don't put my hair in the frame. Here we have the new winner, cause it's time for the Corridor Time Channel.

touchback for... The Viva! If I push a button, I'm free.

Every afternoon in the cross-stripe floor, Ba ba ba ba ba bee bop Crazy from the kid back through that door, I'm crazy, but the kids crash through that door, yeah. yeah Ba bee bop, And they throw up their coats, ba ba ba ba ba bee bop There's no one supposed to be this way Cause he's tired of it all He can stick his neck in like they're losing their mind But the belly and the brow, they see the score has been tied, and they shake it, They're losing their minds They're a leading crowd They're the nicest kids in town Every afternoon you turn the TV on And we know you turn the sound up when your parents are gone And you play the drums for your favorite star And what you like is every step that you take You're a repertoire You better come on down they're the nicest We've been nice to you, sweet things now. This is the Big Town! Hurry, Kenny, hurry!

Hurry, Penny, hurry! The show's already started! The show's already started!

We're gonna miss it! We're delicious! I'm hurried, I'm hurrying, Tracy, Tracy, but my mother doesn't want me to perspire!

but my mother doesn't want me to perspire! Come on! Oh, come on! Linda?

Is my dog ready? Edna? Is my laundry ready?

No! Who wants to know? Who wants to know?

Sure it is, Sure does, huh? hon. Come on up.

Come on up. That'll be three dollars. That would be three dollars. That's pretty pricey for a few heads of teddy bears.

That's pretty pricey for a few pairs of teddy hats. Well, Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Pardee Angleton, Kurtie Pinkleton, but some of your personal... but some of your purse Personal stains require hounding on a lot.

The flames required counting on a clock. Mom! Four o'clock?

Four o'clock? I guess I don't have to ask who got detention again. I guess I don't have to ask who got detention again.

Tracy Turnblatt, Tracy Turblatt, mind your manners. mind your manners. Say hello to our guests. Say hello to our guests. Oh, hello, Hello, Mrs. Mrs. Pinkleton.

Pinkleton. And Penny. And any... Hello, Hello, Mrs. Pinkleton.

Mrs. Pinkleton. I mean, Mother. I mean, mother. Teenagers, Teenagers.

they just love watching that corny college. They just love watching that corny college. Delinquents. Delinquents.

It ain't right dancing to that. It ain't right, kids. dancing to that color music. Colored music Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

Don't be silly Don't be silly. It ain't color. It ain't colored The TV's black and blue It's white If you like to lead the way And once a month we have a Meat Roast Day And I'm a man who keeps on making out With the corny powers of the latest Greatest Both and more So never cast the news Off everything I got it The TV's black and won't be too bright.

It's white news, it's black the days away. It's one, so why don't we have a B-Crow Day! It's all the man, Ha ha ha ha!

And now we're gonna corn these towels with the latest, Ha! Greatest, Ha! Woo! We're going to do more sound! So here's a new drop every day.

You need to read it right so you can dance in the city I'm talking about your algebra, Bop me bop me how you luck You get old and do your homework on the morning bus Now, from the now, the life in Skippy Town I'm Amber! Brad! Finger!

Brenda! I'm sketch. Sally. I do. And I'm Link.

And I'm... It's me again and again. Link! It's just me and Kevin again! Keep that racket down.

Keep that racket down, I'm trying to iron here. I'm trying to iron here. Oh, And that was our new dance of the week, the stricken chicken. Chicken Chicken, we'll be right back.

And we're off. Alright people, Alright people, how many times do I have to tell you we do not touch ourselves anywhere? how many times do I have to tell you we do not touch ourselves anywhere? While on camera.

While on camera, Tammy, tell me who's the padding you two fender. lose the padding, you too, Fender. Link, Link, don't hog the camera.

don't hog the camera. You're not Elvis yet. You're not Elvis yet.

Amber, Amber, darling, darling, hog the camera. hog the camera. Yes, Yes, mother.

mother. And Mr. And Mr. Collins, Collins, none of that Detroit sound today. none of that Detroit sound. down today, Do you have something against Connie Francis?

do you have something against Connie Francis? The kids are just over the moon for rhythm and blues, The kid that is over the moon for Rhythm and Blues, Velma. Val, They can't get enough.

they can't get enough. They're kids, They're kids, Corny. Corny.

That's why... That's why we have to lead them in the white direction. we have to lead them in the white direction.

I mean, I mean, you know what I mean. you know what I mean. Amber, Amber, I've got something for you.

I've got something for you. I figured, I figured since we're going together, since we're going together, you know, you know, sort of steadily, sort of steadily, maybe we should make it official. maybe we should make it official.

Oh, Link, Oh, Link, your couch remembering? your council member ring. How sweet. And it matches my hair color exactly.

How sweet. And it matches my hair color exactly. Aw.

Uh-uh, none of that. Save your personal lives for the camera. that save your personal lives for the camera. And we're back to Corny in five, four...

And we're back to Corny in five, Hey there, four... Hey there! don't forget, Don't forget, guys and kids, guys and kids, that the first ever Primetime Spectacular is coming up on June 6th.

that the first ever Primetime Spectacular is coming up on June 6th. We'll be broadcasting live right here from Baltimore's home of the Corny Collins Show, We'll be broadcasting live right here from Baltimore's home of the Corny Colling Show, station WZZT. station WZZT. The talent scouts will be on hand with all the major records.

Talent Scouts will be on hand with all the main labels, And of course, and of course, sponsoring the event is none other than our very own Ultra Clutch Hairspray. sponsoring the event is none other than our very own Ultra Clutch Hairspray. So let's give a great big fawn-y Baltimore salute to the president of Ultra Clutch, So let's give a great face to the Corny Colling Show. the president of Ultra Clutch, Mr. Mr. Harry F. Herman F. Spritzer.

Spritzer. Ultra Clutch is happy to bring you fine youngsters to national attention. Ultra Clutch is happy to bring you fine youngsters to national attention.

Our Big Break! Our Big Break! And live on the special, And live on the special, we'll be crowning your choice from his teenage hairspray 1962. we'll be crowning your choice from his teenage hair free 1962. My Big Break!

My Big Break! Now she's a lovely, Well, she's a lovely slim girl. slim girl. Well, Well, I guess Amber's pretty, I guess Amber's pretty, but she can't dance.

but she can't dance. Plastic little spastic! Plastic little spastic! Oh no!

Oh no! I'm going to kill myself! I'm gonna kill myself! Look! Look!

She's wearing my dress! She's wearing Link Larkin's council ring! It's counseling!

Oh! Hey gang! Hey gang, Don't forget to watch Mom and- don't forget to watch mom and dad Next Thursday on Mother Next Thursday on Mother...

Daughter Day And I want to be your Miss Teenage Hair Spray Doctor Day! And I got to be your Miss Teenage Hairspray! Remember, Remember, a vote for me from you is a vote for me What an unexpected ad lib, a vote for me from you is a vote for me! What an unexpected ad-lib, Amber. Amber Good.

Say, Hey, speaking of expecting the unexpected, speaking of expecting the unexpected, our very own fun-loving and free-feeling Brenda will be taking a leave of absence from the show. our very own fun-loving and free-wheeling Brenda will be taking a leave of absence from the show. How long have you been gone, How long have you been gone, Brenda? Brenda?

Nine months. Nine months. So, it appears we have an opening for a girl who is just as fun-loving, It appears we have an opening for a girl who's just as fun-loving but not quite as free-wheeling.

but not quite as... It's freewheeling. Say, what's your name? Say, want to be one of the nicest kids in town? Hey, wanna be one of the nicest kids in town?

Well, Well, cut school tomorrow. cut school tomorrow. Come on down to station WZZT and audition. Come on down to the station, WPBT, Oh, my God. It's a dream of a lifetime.

and audition. I have to go audition. Oh my God, Oh, my God. It's a dream of a lifetime.

I have to go watch you audition. it's a dream of a lifetime! I have to go audition! Oh my God, it's a dream of a lifetime!

That's enough of that racket for now. I have to go watch you audition! That's enough of that racket for now. No one is auditioning for anything. No one is auditioning for anything.

There'll be no cutting school in this house. There'll be no cutting school in this house. But, What is her lab? Miss Turnblad. Penny, Penny, go tell your mother she wants you.

go tell your mother she wants you. She does? She does? I better hurry.

I better hurry! Bye, Tracy. Bye, Miss Charmland.

Whoa, Bye, Tracy. Bye, Mr. O'Connor. Whoa! rush hour traffic.

Rush hour traffic! Hiya, Ah, you ladies. ladies. You know, You know, since I got that new shipment of exploding bubble gum, since I got that new shipment of exploding bubble gum, business downstairs is booming. business downstairs is booming.

And? How are my two funny honeys? How are my two funny honeys?

You're the funny one, You're the funny one, Will. Williker. Daddy, Daddy, tomorrow I'm going to audition to dance on a TV show.

tomorrow I'm going to audition to dance on a TV show. Young lady, Young lady, you'll have to go further than that to get a raise. you'll have to go further than that to get around me. me no one is auditioning for anything what if I told you about that hair all teased up like a teenage Jezebel oh mother you're so No one is auditioning for anything. Amazing! What if I told you about that Errol?

Teased up like a teenage Jezebel! Oh, Mother, you're so fifties! 50s even our first lady Jackie B Kennedy wraps her hair well you ain't no first lady are you she's a hair hopper that's what she is and it's got her put in detention again you're going to have to talk to her the girls like Tracy people Even our First Lady, Jackie McKenney, wraps her hair!

Well, you ain't no First Lady, are you? She's a hairhopper, that's what she is, and it's got her put in detention again. And, Wilbur, you're going to have to talk to her. Girls like Tracy, people like me, like me Well, you know what I'm saying.

you know what I'm saying, They don't put people like us on television unless it's to laugh at us. they don't put people like... like us on television unless it's to laugh at us.

Tracy, Tracy, this TV thing, this TV thing, you really want it? you really want it? It's my dream, It's my dream, Daddy.

Daddy. Then you go for it! Then you go for it!

This is America, This is America, babe! babe! You gotta think big to be big!

You gotta think big to be big! Being big is not the problem, Being big is not the problem, Wilbur. Silver. Tracy, Tracy, when I was your age, when I was your age, my parents begged me to run away with the circus. my parents begged me to run away with the circus.

And I said, And I said, no, no, that's what you want. that's what you want. I got dreams of my own.

I've got dreams of my own. I dreamt of opening up a chain of joke shops worldwide. I dreamt of opening up a chain of joke shops worldwide.

Oh, Okay, okay, so I still only got one. so I still only got one. But someday, But someday. if I can just figure out how to keep the air...

If I can just figure out how to keep the air from leaking out of my sofa-sized whoopee cushion, from leaking out of my sofa-sized whoopee cushion, I'm going to make a noise heard around the world. I'm going to make a noise heard around the world. You follow your dream, You follow your dreams, baby. baby. I'm grabbing an orange crush and heading back down to the Hardy Har Hut.

I'm grabbing an orange crush and heading back down to the Hardy Har Hut. I got my dream and I love it. I got my dream, and I love it. You're not helping Wilbur.

You're not helping, Wilbur. Thanks, Thanks, Daddy. Daddy.

Now come on, Now come on, I have loads of laundry and my diet pills wearing off. I have loads of laundry and my diet pill is wearing off. But mama, But Mama, I want to be famous!

I want to be famous! You want to be famous? You want to be famous? Learn how to get blood out of car upholstery.

Learn how to get blood out of car upholstery. Now that's a skill that'll take you to the bank. Now that's a skill that'll take you to the bank.

You think I wanted to spend my whole life ironing and mending other people's clothing? You think I wanted to spend my whole life ironing and mending other people's clothing? No, No, I wanted to design them. I wanted to design them.

I always dreamed of being the biggest thing in brassieres. I always dreamed of being the biggest thing in brassieres. Well, be careful what you wish for.

Be careful what you wish for. Now, Now start folding. start folding.

But all I was doing was watching Corny Collins over at Tracy's. But all I was doing was watching Corny Collins over at Tracy's. Didn't I forbid you from listening to that race music? Didn't I forbid you from listening to that race music? Oh, Oh, if the police ever look...

if the police ever locate your father, your father he'll punish you good amber your dancing was atrocious today he'll punish you good. Amber, your dancing was atrocious today. I am willing to lie cheat and steal to win you that miss hairspray crown but you gotta work with me now let me at that zit I am willing to lie cheap and steal to win you that Miss Hairspray crown, but you've got to work with me. Now let me at that zit.

Tracy, Tracy that's no way to that's no way to... treat clean clothing. Treat clean clothing.

One day you'll own Edna's Osa Dental Laundromat. One day you'll own Edna's Ocidental Laundromat. Will you be ready? Will you be ready?

I hope not. I hope not. Don't contradict me.

Don't contradict me. Don't disobey me. Don't disobey me.

Don't even think about auditioning for that show. Don't even think about auditioning for that show. Please? Please? No.

No. Mother! Mother! Stop. Stop.

Stop telling me what to do. Stop telling me what to do. Don't.

Don't. Don't treat me like a child of two. Don't treat me like a child of two. No. I know that you want what's best.

No. I know that you want what's best. Please.

Please. But mother please, But mother please, give it a rest Stop, give it a rest! Stop, don't, no, please! Mama, I'm a big girl now!

don't, no, please Mama, I'm a big girl now Once upon a time when I was just a little girl It was upon a time when I was a little girl. Just a kid, Just a kid, you would never let me do just what the other kids did So fix that laundry list of what you won't allow Say mama, you never let me do just what the other kids did So I'm not on your list for what you won't allow Cause mama, I'm a big girl now Once upon a time I used to play weirdo I'm a big girl now Once upon a time I used to play with a toy Now I'd rather play around with teenage boys What if I get a hickey, Now I fast play around with teenage boys So if I get a hitty, please don't have a cow Mama, please don't have a cow Cause mama, I'm a pink cow now Mama, I'm a big girl now But I gotta tell you now, I gotta tell you I'm a powder cow My best dancing without a doubt I get my best into I'm losing love in front of you You're the one who taught me how to twist and shout Because you shall not stop if you're so twisted too Oh, Last time you came You're the one who taught me how to twist and shout You're my catch-out, now I'm starting more so Twisted too I used to fidget cause I just sat home But now I'm just like fidget and I've gotta get to grow oh, oh, oh, oh Once I used to fidget because I just sat home But now I'm just like kids and I've gotta get to grow So say arrivederci Toodaloo So say, arigatou, to the loo, and cha Cause mama, And ciao Cause mama, I'm a deep girl now Whoa, I'm a big girl now Oh, stop, stop, don't, don't, no no, Please stop, please Stop, don't, don't, no no, please No, No, please, please stop! Don't go, no, don't, please! no, Mama, please Mama, I'm a big girl now!

I'm a big girl now Once upon a time there was a child I loved For dearly loved who talked to what she'd dance and sing But let me have the stage, Mama, I'm a big girl now! Once upon a time I was a shy young king Could barely walk and talk so much as dance and sing But let me hear it stage, I wanna take my bow Cause mama, I wanna take my vow Mama, I'm a big girl now Hey, I'm a big girl now! Hey, hey, hey, once upon a time I used to dress up gay But now that I'm a woman I like to figure I don't need a hey, hey!

Once upon a time I used to dress up king But now that I'm a woman I love bigger men I don't need a boy to be king You're gonna show me how Cause mama, Before we know it, show me how Because mama, I'm a big girl now Oh, I'm a big girl now Mama, you always talk about me straight from the moment I just wanna give it a try you always taught me what was right from wrong And now I just want to give it a try Mama, Mama, I've been in the nest for far too long So please give a push, I've been in the next room far too long So please give a question, mama, mama, watch me fly Watch me fly watch me fly Watch me fly Mama, And I'm a big girl now I believe in man, don't say I can be the man you won't condemn People have some kids and you can torture them you won't condemn And people have some kids and you can torture them Let me be a star before I take that vow Cause mama, But you get starved before I take that vow Cause mama, I'm a big girl now Mama, I'm a big girl now Hey, I'm a big girl now Mama, hey, hey Cause mama, I'm a big girl now Hey, I'm a big girl mama, I'm a big girl I'm a big girl now Mama, That's your big, big girl I'm a big girl now I'm a big girl now Please mama, It's time I'm a big girl now Down, to go, yeah, Mrs. Van Tussle, she was the last one. She was the last one. Really, Really?

that's all? That's all? Who would have guessed Baltimore girls were all such skags? Who would have guessed Baltimore girls were all such skags? My, My, how things have changed since I was Miss Baltimore Krabs.

how things have changed since I was Miss Baltimore Krabs. I thought we'd never get here. I thought we'd never get here. Stupid bus crash. Stupid bus krabs.

All my life I imagined what this place would look like. All my life I imagined what this place would look like. This isn't it.

This isn't it. Hi there! Hi there. Am I too late to audition?

Am I too late to audition? Not too late. Not too late.

Just too much. Just too late. Look, it's Link! Tracy, look! It's Link!

Link Larkin, Link Larkin! so near, So near, and yet so gorgeous! and yet so gorgeous!

I know, I know. those girls were all over me. Those girls were all over me. I don't know how Rock Hudson does it.

I don't know how Rock Hudson does it. Excuse me, Excuse me, little darling. little darling.

I'm hoping him to dent your dew. Hope I didn't, uh, dent your doo. I've read your mail. Bye, Ken. Tracy, Tracy, are you alright?

are you alright? Well, Well, don't you hear them chime? don't you hear them chime?

I don't know. I don't hear anything. Can't you feel my heartbeat? hear anything. Can't you feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time?

Keeping perfect time. And all because he touched me. And I'll be does he.

He touched me, he looked at me and stared. He looked at me and stared. Yes, Yes, he bumped me. he bumped me, My heart was unprepared when he tapped me and knocked me off my feet.

my heart was all impaired. When he tapped me and knocked me off my feet, one little touch, One little touch, now my life's complete. now my life's complete.

Cause when he nudged me, Cause when he nudged me, love put me in a fix Yes, love for me didn't fix. Yes, it hit me just like a ton of bricks Yes, it hit me just like the time breaks. Yes, my heart burst, my heart burst and now I know what life's about. now I know what life's about One little touch and love's knocked me out And I can hear bells, One little touch and mom's knocked me out.

And why can't you pass? my head is spinning I can hear the bells My head is spinning. I can't hear them.

Something's beginning, Some things he gave me, everybody says everybody says The girl who looks like me can't win his love Well, The girl who looks like me Can't win his love, well just wait and see Cause I can't wait, just wait and see, cause I can be the best Just hear the chime just hear them chime I can hear the bells, I can hear the bells, my temperature's climbing. my temperature's climbing I can't contain my joy, I can't contain my joy, cause I finally found the boy cause I finally found the boy I've been missing Listen, I've been missing. Listen, I can hear the bells. I can hear the bells Round one, Round one, he'll ask me on a date and then he'll ask me on a date and then Round two, Round two, I'll print but won't be late because Round three's when we kiss inside his car I'll primp but won't be late because Round three is when we kiss inside his car Won't go away but I'll go Won't go all the way but I'll go pretty far Then round four, Pretty far then Round four he'll ask me for my hand and then Round five, He'll ask me for my hand And then round five I will book the wedding band So bye I'll be there in a minute Oh, so am I.

Round six. Round six If much to your surprise This hand Never much to your surprise. This heavyweight champion takes the prize.

And I can hear the bells. The rides we've just seen And he never says Oh God, I'm such a gem He won't look my way While the laughs are on them But I think the bells are right I know I can hear the bells as he walks around the aisle. My mother's church of pride that I can't see, the sleep and die are French kissing.

Listen, I can hear the bells. I can hear the bells. And I can hear the bells, I can still feel them in everyone's arms I don't know what I'm gonna see, but I know that they'll look inside of me, Inside of me, yeah I can hear the bells, too many shots to start yeah, I can hear the bells, Cause I can hear the bells until death do us part And even when we die, we'll come down from above listen, listen, Remembering the night that we two fell in love I can hear the bells, We lost our tears and hearts And this sin keep them going.

Listen, I can hear the hell I can hear the hell And what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Oh, Oh, I came to audition for Corny.

I came to audition for Corny. My name is Tracy Turnblad, My name is Tracy Turnblad, and like you, and like you, I go to Patterson Park High. I go to Padditch to part time.

I've seen you. I've seen you. Oh, Oh, then miss her.

good misser. Aren't you usually in detention about now? Aren't you usually in detention about now?

Well, I cut school to come down here. Well, I cut school to come down here. Isn't that too cool? Isn't that too cool? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just a little nervous.

I'm just a little nervous. Can I start over? Can I start over?

Are you sure you won't come down right after I have a heart attack? I assure you I'll come down right after I have a heart attack. Well, I brought my own 45, I brought my own 45, so if you put them on, so if you put them on, I'll show you my stuff.

I'll show you myself. How did you already show me? How did you already show them to me? My God, how times have changed.

Oh my God, how times have changed. This girl's either blind or completely deranged The time soon to fault when I was Miss Baltimore, This girl... I'm either blind or convoyingly deranged The time seemed to halt when I was Miss Baltimore Craft So it's like my dream to dance on the show Maybe you better go back to sleep Childhood dreams for me were craft When that damn Shirley Temple stole my frickin'act The crowd is the fault when I watch Miss Baltimore Craft Those poor runners-up may still hold some grudges They've got their cunts crap It's always been my dream to dance on this show Maybe you better go back to sleep Childhood dreams for me Correct when that damn Shirley Temple So I frickin'act The crowd's to fault when I won Miss Baltimore, crap Those four runners-up May still hold some grudges Think about it their cups but i screwed the judges those broads thought they'd win but that But I swore that judges and those broads thought they'd win While the free day would spin in their dance Not a chance! I can see the stage batons ablaze While belting hyenas and crying cheese sways But that treble somersault was how I pinched Miss Baltimore's crabs Fire away, trickle somersault was how i catch miss baltimore where's alan girls!

You too, bye from the back! Hyena, look at her cry! Are we on camera? Where's Alec Funt?

In your desk! Do you dance like a dress? I'm a fricking dress! Girls, Girls, there's no need to be cruel.

there's no need to be cruel! Would you swim in an integrated pool? Won't you swim in an integrated pool? I sure would!

I sure would! I'm all for integration. I'm all for integration.

It's the new frontier. It's the new frontier! Not in Baltimore, Not in Baltimore, it isn't. it isn't.

Um, Um, where's Corny? where's Corny? I'd love to audition for him. I'd love to audition for him. I'm the producer, I'm the producer, and may I be frank, and may I be frank, first impressions can be tough.

first impressions can be tough. And when I saw you, And when I saw you, I knew it. I knew it! Your signs weren't enough, Your signs were tinned up, your last hands were just flowing My dear, your last answer just blew away The dull and dear, from short and stout, so short and stout You'll never be in, you'll never be in trouble We're kicking you out, so they're kicking you out With your phone room in your face with your forearm and your face Well, it isn't your fault, Well, it isn't your fault You're just down with the case of this Boy, you're just down with the case of Miss Baaarty O'Ryans! Woo!

Ha ha ha! Woo! You're free to go!

Thank you! Thank you! I could tell they secretly liked you! I could tell they secretly liked you! We're all men, Oh man, may I please audition?

may I see your audition? Of course not! Of course not!

But you can bow and exalt But you can bow and exalt, For I am his Baltimore Rats! for I am Miss Baltimore Proud! Every step, I know every song, I know every song, I know there's a place where I belong.

I know there's a place where I belong. Why did it have to be so mean? Why do they have to be so mean?

You're short, You're short, you're stout, you're stout, you're not council material! you're not council material. Wait, Like, where the f- where are the ladies at? I'm teasing my hair as high as I can!

as I keep up with all the styles. I'm teasing my hair as high as I can. Will it be a chance? Will they give me a chance? Encouragement?

Encouragement? Appreciation? Appreciation? No. No!

All I ever hear is... All I ever hear is, Tracy Turnblad! Tracy Turnblad!

Once again, Once again, your monumental hair don't has seriously obstructed everyone's view of the blackboard. your monumental hair don't has seriously obstructed everyone's view of the Blackboard. As principal of Patterson Park High, As principal of Patterson Park High, I condemn you to three more days of detention. I condemn you to three more days of detention. Detention?

Detention? Is there no pity for a teen just trying to fit in? Is there no pity for a teen just trying to fit in? Well, Well, maybe. maybe.

You won't try so hard, You won't trust so hard, baby. baby. Uh, excuse me. Uh, excuse me. You get detention just about as much as I do.

I've never heard you complain. I don't need detention just about as much as I do. Oh, but I do.

You see, this is my way of complaining. I've never heard you complain. This is how I use my blues.

Oh, Hey, well, but I do, that moves swift. you see. This is my way of complaining. You see, the man can whine and down on me in detention as long as he doesn't take away my blues.

This is how I use my blues. You're so blue, brother, you gotta use them a little. Hey, but that moves swift.

You see, You see, the man can whine and down on me in detention as long as he doesn't take away my blues. this is the move I like to use to say that my name is C. You see, this is a little rule I like to use to say that my name is C. Reed J. Stubbs. Reed J. Stills.

Ow! Ow! Oh!

What's y'all's name? What's y'all's name? Oh, That's unbelievable. that's unbelievable.

Can I do that? Can I do that? I don't know. I don't know. Can you?

Can you? Hello, Hello, my name is Tracy Turflad. my name is Tracy Turnblad.

Ow! Bad for a white girl. Oh!

Oh! Not bad for a white girl. Oh, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. no, no. Ain't no black and white up in here. I know black and white up in here.

You see, You see, detention is a rainbow experience. detection is a rainbow experience. Oh, What's that stuff?

what's that stuff? Oh, Oh, this is called the pink place up in here. this is called the Case Place After Midnight.

I use this to attack the Alphacinsets. I use this to attack the elves. It's good. Ha ha ha ha! Woo!

You really got it going on. This program's joining you already in progress. Woo! Feel this girl, you really got it going on!

Oh my gosh, This program's joining you already in progress! I just realized you won. You can't tell me from day. Of course you don't. Ha ha ha!

Your mom knows the show. Oh my gosh! I just realized, Your mom is murdering a female with DJ? Chamo, you dance on Negro Day!

Of course you do, Mom tells me so! Hey, your mom is butter-mouthed, Well, maybe I'm the DJ? that makes you look teeny royalty. Well, that makes you like TV royalty! Negro Day is the best.

When Negro Day is the best, I wish every day was Negro Day! I wish every day was Negro Day. Well, Well, uh, in our house, in our house, it is... it is. Courtney Collins is hosting the sophomore hop tomorrow night.

Horny Collins is hosting the Sophomore Hump tomorrow night. I bet if he saw me dancing with you he'd put me on his show. I bet if he saw me dancing with you he'd put me on his show. If you two dance together in public at the Philly show, If you two dance together in public, the only show you'll get on is the 11 o'clock news. you'll get on it from the clock news.

What do you think about detention now, What do you think about detention now, girl, girl, huh? huh? I'm a bad, I'm a bad, bad girl who needs to be punished!

bad girl who needs to be punished! Smiling, laughing, and dancing in detention? Smiling, laughing, and dancing in detention?

Tracy Turnflide, Tracy Turnblad, you can give up all hopes of college. you can give up all hopes of college. I'm going! Anthony!

I'm putting you in Special Ed with the rest of these characters. We're going to put you in Special Ed? Special Ed with the rest of these...

Well, who's in Special Ed? Abby, amateurs. all of us. Special Ed?

What do you do in Special Ed? Well, who's in Special Ed? That'd be all of us.

We do musicals. What do you do in Special Ed? We do musicals! Aw.

All right, Alright, hey there sophomores and sophomores at heart. hey there sophomores and sophomores at heart. I'm honored to be your guest DJ here at PPHS. I'm honored to be your guest DJ here at PPHS.

So, So, without any further ado-do, without any further ado-do, let's ado-do some dancing. let's ado-do some dancing. It's the hottest dance craze in town, It's the hottest dance craze in town.

and it started right here in Baltimore. It started right here in Baltimore. What's it called, What's it called kids? kids?

The Madison Town! The Badest Day! And where'd you see it first?

Where'd you see it first? The Forty-Five Show! The Corny College Show! The Forty-Five Show!

The two big strong lines. Two big strong lines. It's Madison Town. That's what's up. And, And, go!

go! Baby don't sleep, Baby don't sleep, baby don't eat, baby don't eat, baby just likes to do the boink. baby just rest until the morning. Hurry, Hurry, seaweed, see me hurry, hurry! The dance has already started!

the dance is already started. Alright, but remember, you gotta... I got a dance with your crowd and I got a dance with mine! I'm a fan of Phil Collins, I'm a fan of Phil Collins.

I'm a fan of David Malice and my favorite. Look, they're doing the Madison, my favorite! Hey, you keep your eye on Courtney, Hey, you should be my opponent.

she's gonna be your big chance! You better keep your eye on me. You better keep your eye on me! Alright, when I say hit it, Alright, when I say hit it, give your big bad balls some more bops!

you're gonna think bad, Baltimore, box, And hit it! and hit it. Yeah!

Yeah! Oh, ha ha ha! Is that? I don't know.

That's them and this is us. This is how it is. When I say hit it, let's take it to the basket like Wilk the Stealth, We're gonna have to hit it, let's take it to the basket like we're up in the stilt, alright?

And hit it! Woo! alright? And hit it!

Amber, who's your friend? This is your friend. She's a breath of fresh mountain air.

He's a breath of fresh mountain air. You got the mountain part right. She's got the mountain park right oink, Oink!

Oink! Alright, when I say hit it, oink! Alright, let's take a drive down Druid Hill. we're gonna have to hit it. Let's take a drive down Druid Hill.

And hit it! Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Alright, And hit, there we go. Oh, pop! Take my hair right, hang a right! oh!

Oh! Keep walking! Speed the monkey! There you go. Oh, he's in the back seat!

Oh, Ha ha ha! he's in there. Woo!

He's in there. Ha ha ha. Ho, ho, ho!

Hey, little darling. Haven't I seen you somewhere? I seen you somewhere. Oh, my god. The garden just smoked me.

Oh my god. I'll never wash this beer again. My Gorgon just smoked me.

I'll never wash this year again. All right, all right. Alright, when I say hit it, Hey, here, let's make like Jack Gleeson.

let's make my jacket bleeped. Humada, Hum-ba-da, humada. hum-ba-da. Oh, Go! man.

And away we go! And away we go. Hi! Hey!

No, Hey! kid. Hey, Cupcake. What's your name? What's your name?

I'm I'm... I'm... Tracy Turnblad!

See? Woo! Turn black!

What up, you guys? How do you know it's Buster Rhymes? Woo!

What else you got hiding in those buster browns? Oh, here's a little something that needs a bit of attention. Here's a little something I paid some attention!

It's called the Pink Playset! It's called the paint place after midnight! After midnight, I use it to attract the opposite sex! I use it to attack the opposite sex!

Oh, Oh come on everybody, come on everybody, I'll take her! come take a look! I'm supposed to win! This guy is the spring of the wind!

Everybody stop playing! What? Everybody stop looking!

Alright, everybody get a sense of doubt! Alright, everybody in! It's Madison now! Haha, Ha ha ha!

that doesn't help a point so... Hey, I'm not like you. I can't... Hey there, teenage multiple. Today's Baltimore, You are just in time for the Corny Coward Show.

you are just in time for the Corny College Show. Brought to you by Ultra Blast. Brought to you by the Baltimore Chiefs. Hey there.

It tastes good too. It tastes good, On today's Game of Fact edition, too. On today's jam-packed edition, we're going to be eating at our very own Lane Park. we feature our very own Luke Larkin. Taking a special request, Making a special request, get in.

it takes two. It takes two. So then the party begins Hurry, So then the party begins.

Hurry, Mr. Turblad! Mr. Turnblad! Hurry, Hurry, Mr. Mr. Turblad!

Turnblad! Come see what's on TV! Come see what's on TV! Penny, Penny Pringle, please don't tell us that it's important!

can this dinner be important? It is! Oh no, It is!

Oh no, don't tell me Crew Chef has his shoe off again Welcome! don't tell me Crew Chef has his shoe off again. I'm Amber I'm Amber! Brad! Brad Fender Brad Tammy!

Fender! Brenda! Yes!

Shelly! I do! Jet! The land! Sally!

Lake! And I'm Tracy! I do!

Every young and shakin'little lion's bed Go Tracy! Milan! Late!

Go Tracy! I'm Tracy! The bass and drums are poundin'in your head I hear the sounds of sleepin'you in the school I'll never get the I'm in bed! Go Tracy! Go Tracy!

Please! Keep your head! I would go to the telephone I would have a good time with a gal But the Hands down!

Yeah! Night show, night show, nicest kid in town He's kids in town. Yeah, and that was our new dance of the week, Peyton Place After Midnight, ...Painty Place Afterbuzz Night, introduced to us by our very new council member, introduced to us by our very new council member, Miss Tracy Turnblad.

Miss Tracy Turfess. Oh my word, Oh my word! Tracy lies in my own living room. Tracy lies in my own living room. I think I've seen her here before.

I think I've seen her here before. And she's gonna be a regular! And she's gonna be a regular.

Oh imagine, Go imagine my little girl regular at last. my little girl, regular at last. Hi Tracy!

Hi Tracy, It's me, it's me, Penny. Patty! Don't be silly, Don't be silly, she can't see you. she can't see you. Can she?

Can she? Hello! Hello?

Oh, Oh, yes, yes, this is her family home. this is her family home. No, No, I am not her father. I am not her father.

And so we wave a wistful bye-bye to Brenda. And so we wave a wistful bye-bye to Brenda. See you next year, Bren! And inaugurate the newest member of our council, And inaugurate the newest of our council, Miss Tracy Turnblad! Miss Tracy Turnblad.

You've always gone up to old Corny, Cozy enough to old corny, Trace, Trace. then tell us about yourself. Then tell us about yourself.

Well, Well, I go to Patterson Park High, I go to Patterson Park High, I watch your show, I watch your show, and I do absolutely nothing else. and I do absolutely nothing else! Oh, Oh, but someday I hope to become the first woman president of the world, but someday I hope to become the first woman president of the world. or a rockette. Or a Rockette.

You gotta think about it. You gotta think big to be big. Big to be big! I hear you, Trace. If you were the first female president, I hear your choice.

what would your first official act be? You're the I'd make every day Negro Day. Ah!

Ah! I hear you like tomorrow's headlines, I hear you like tomorrow's headlines, Trace. Trace. Say, Say, kids, kids, looks like we might have a hot new candidate for Miss Teenage Hairspray.

looks like we might have a hot new candidate for Miss Teenage Hairspray. No! No! She can't be Miss Hairspray, She can't be Miss Hairspray, because she's the before in the Metropal diet ad, because she's before in the Metro Cal Diet ad, and I'm the after. and I'm the actor.

And afters always win. And actors always win. Amber, Amber.

what a comedian. What a comedian. Amber. Amber.

Amber. So, So, Trace, Trace, tell us true. tell us true. How would you like our very own Link Larkin to sing a song just for you? How would you like our very own Link Larkin to sing a song just for you?

No! No! He can't. He can't.

Because everyone knows that whenever he sings, Because everyone knows that whenever he sings, he sings to me. he sings to me. He's completely involved with me. He's completely involved with me.

See? See? Right.

Right. So Tracy, So, Tracy, tell us true, tell us true. How would you like our very own Link Larkin to sing a song just for you? how would you like our very own Link Larkin to sing a song just for you?

Would I? What I? Would I?

What I? You people are ignoring the laws of N- You people are enormous! I'm a loss of nature!

Nature! Mother! And now, our very own Lee Clarkson. Welcome, welcome. It's evenly blooming, Mother!

this crazy circus. In version of the week's top 45, And now, our very own Link Larkin, we bring you two, the one and only, two, two, two, two, two. I say it's a man's world, the equally blooming Mr. Tracy Sirk.

well, And today's version of the week's top 40 men in the game, that cannot be denied. is titled, But what good's a man's world at a woman by his side? G-G-G-Locker!

It's a man's world that cannot be denied But what good's a man's world without a woman by his side? And so I will wait until that moment you decide That I'm your man and you're my girl And so I I will wait until that moment you decide That I'm your man and you're my girl That I'm the sea and you're the world It takes two to... That I'm the sea and you're the pearl It takes two to make it real It takes two It takes two King ain't a king without the power behind the throne I'm in a king with out of power behind the throne A prince is a power brave and I'm cheap to call his own So please darling choose me A prince is a papa, baby, not a chipper to call his own So please darling, choose me, I don't wanna rule alone I want to know, Lord.

Tell me that I'm your king and you're my queen. I'm your king and you're my queen, That no one else can come between. and no one else can come between. It takes two, It's too easy.

baby, it takes two. Come on, let's go. It takes two, Lancelot had quite a bit of fun. don't you know? There's a lot at Guinevere.

Mrs. Mrs. Claus has a whole Saint Nick Romeo had Juliet Rose has a whole saint today. Romeo has Juliet. And yes, And this, well, well, she has a dick They say it takes two to tango she has a day.

It takes two to tango. Well, that tango got a baby Take me to the dance floor And we'll twist the night away Well, that tango is just a day. So take me to the dance floor.

And we'll twist the night away. Hey, it's me, Sweetie Evelyn, and it's me, I dream of a lover, it's me, Naskity, I'm a bum, I dream of a lover, baby, baby, see the things I long to hear. see the things I long to hear, I'm a bum, So come closer, so come closer, baby, oh, baby.

and please, come closer to me. Oh, and I whisper in my ear Yeah, you're my world, I'm your boy, you're my world You're my pride, and you're my bride, you're my joy And I'm a sailor in your past and I'm your boy, I'll be the groom for all your friends and I'm your man, and you're the bride, and I'm your bride, and I'm your bride. And this is true Mrs. Mrs. Von Tussle, Von Tussle, Negro Day every day?

Negro Day every day? That chubby communist girl kissing on the mouth with possibly parted lips? That chubby cop is girl kissing on the mouth with hostility-parted lips?

I assure you, I assure you, controversy is not what Ultra Clutch wishes to promote. controversy is not what Alton Clutch wishes to promote. Negroes and chubby girls buy hairspray too, Negroes and chubby girls buy hairspray too, Mr. Mr. Spritzel. Spritzer. Mrs. Mrs. Von Tussle, Von Tussle, how do you plan to handle this?

how do you plan to handle this? I plan to start by firing him. I plan to start by firing him.

Thank you. You can't fire Courtney Collins from the Courtney Collins Show. You can't fire Corny Collins from the Corny Collins Show. Why not? Why not?

They do it all the time on Lassie. They do it all the time on Lassie. Uh, this is just for your luck. Mr. Spritzer, look, to keep your audiences, To keep your audience, you've got to keep up with the time. you've gotta keep up with the times.

The show is fine the way it is. The show is fine the way it is. See, See, bringing Velma or Tracy on was just the beginning.

bringing Velma or Tracee over is just the beginning. I've got two more ideas for the show, I've got two of my guests on the show. I'm getting one of my sick headaches.

if you could just listen. Is there a place I might want to go? I'm getting one of my sick headaches. Is there a place I might lie down?

There's a bed in my office. There's a bed in my office. So you've got ideas, So you've got my tickets, do you? do you?

And 49... And putting that no-talent commie on the show is one of them? And that no-talent commie on the show is one of them? You're damn right it is, Velma.

You're damn right it is, Look, Melvin. It's time to start putting kids on the show who look like the kids who watch the show. it's time we start putting kids on the show who look like the kids who watch the show. Not while I'm producing it.

Not while I'm producing it! Well, Well, I was thinking it might be time to change that, I was thinking it might be time to change that too. too.

Are you threatening me? Are you threatening me? Well, you know me, You know me, Velma.

Melvin. Of course, Of course, I could always take this show to Channel 11. I could always take this show to Channel 11. Ah, my God, God, that snake that saves, that snake that sings, he's a puppet, he's a puppet, but but I hold the proofs, I hold the purse on the strings. I'm a slave.

God, God, I knew Negro Day would bring chaos and change, I knew Negro Day would bring chaos and change. now he's pushing it. Now he's pushing his pink-ball.

This pink girl who might give us all age Who might give us all? Mage! She's Irish, She's a blemish, a black head that must be expelled Who's a standard of beauty that must be upheld They say I'm a bigot, a blackhead that must be expelled.

There's a standard of beauty that must be upheld. Say I'm a bigot, but it just isn't true Look, but I'm just a... I love you!

This isn't true, I love Sammy Davis, I love Sammy Davis, and he's black and a Jew. and he's black and a Jew. Will they better get set for a full-on set? Will they ever get set for a full-on assault? They should never have boy on this.

They should never have boy-o-fist. What more can you ask? Go out and mourn.

Cry. Yes! Yes! Well, Well, I'm sure Tracy appreciates your vote for Miss Teenage Hairspray.

I'm sure Tracy appreciates your vote for Miss Teenage Hairspray. Oh, Oh, and she loves you too. and she loves you too.

Very much. Very much. Whoever you are.

Whoever you are. Goodbye. Goodbye.

This is crazy. This is crazy. Hello? Hello?

What am I wearing? What am I wearing? A house dress, A house dress, scuffies, scuffies, and supportos. and support hose. What are you wearing?

What are you wearing? Hello? Hello? Mama, Hello? Mama, did you see?

did you see? Did you see me? Did you see me? Well, Well of course I saw you, of course I saw you.

You were on TV. you were on the phone. TV I had to. I had to.

The phone's been ringing. The phone's been ringing like we was a telephone. like we was a telethon.

Oh, Oh, imagine. imagine. A TV icon, A TV icon, the fruit of my wounds. the fruit of my wounds. So you're not mad?

Are you not mad? Mad? Mad? How could I be mad?

How could I be mad? You're famous! You're famous.

If I knew you were going to get on that show, If I knew you were going to get on on that show, I never would have said you couldn't. I never would have said you couldn't. I mean, But tell me, Tracy, Tracy, is fame everything you thought it would be?

is fame everything you thought it would be? Are you happy, Are you happy, honey? honey?

Yes, Yes, Mama. Mama. Oh, Oh, and I think I'm in love. and I think I'm in love!

Oh, Oh, I know. I know. I've been following. I've been following. But you and I are going to have to have a little talk about crooners.

But you and I are going to have to have a little talk about crooners. One can learn a lot from the mistakes of Miss Debbie Reynolds. One can learn a lot from the mistakes of Miss Debbie Reynolds. This is crazy!

Oh, this is crazy. Hello? Hello? Hello?

Yes, Yes, this is Tracy Turnblad. this is Tracy Turnblad. Hello? Hi, Hi, Mr. Mr. Pinky. Pinky.

Mr. Mr. Pinky? Pinky? The Mr. The Mr. Pinky of Mr. Pinky of Mr. Pinky's Hefty Hideaways?

Pinky's hefty hideaways? The quality clothes for quantity gals? Quality clothes for quantity gals? That Mr. That Mr. Pinky? Pinky?

You want to hire me as your exclusive spokesgirl in fashion effigy? You want to hire me as your exclusive spokes-girl in fashion effigy? That was an effigy!

It's very flattering, No, it's an effigy. That's very flattering, Mr. Mr. Pinky, Pinky, but I'm afraid all business must go through my agent. but I'm afraid all business must go through my agent.

Well, What would be our pleasure? it would be our pleasure. We'll be right down.

What we write down? Bye, Bye, Mr. Mr. Pinky! Agent, Pinky. agent, Agent, I don't know any- agent, I don't know any agent.

any agent, How about a nice bail bondsman? how about a nice bail bondsman? Mama, By taking my new agent to the hefty hideaway and then out of the town!

I'm taking my new agent to the hefty hideaway and then out in the town. Who, Me? me?

Tracy Turnblatt? Tracy Turnlap? Fame has gone to your head and left you wacky.

Fame has gone to your head and left you wacky. You need a top-shelf professional. You need a top-shelf professional.

Who handled the Gabor sisters? Who handled the Gabor sisters? Well, Well, who didn't?

who didn't? Mama, Mama, there's a great big world out there I know nothing about. there's a great big world out there I know nothing about.

When things get rough, When things get rough, a girl needs her mother. a girl needs her mother. That's what you want. That's what you want.

I'll be right beside you and together we'll claw your... I'll be right beside you and together we'll claw your way to the top. your way to the top. Couldn't we do it on the phone?

Couldn't we do it on the phone? I haven't been out of this apartment since maybe I should have a roller-hoed and bought your base. I haven't been out of this apartment since Mamie Eisenhower wrote her home the bop.

Hey mama, Hey, hey mama, Mama, look around. hey, Mama, look around. Everybody's ruined you a brand new sound.

Everybody's grooving to a brand new sound. Hey, Hey mama, Mama, hey, hey mama, Mama, follow me. follow me. I just need to continue that new water century.

I know something's in you that you want to set free. So let go, go, So let go, go of the past now. go, go of the past now.

Say hello to the love in your heart. Say hello to the love in your heart. You can know the world's feeling fast now.

You've been in all the worlds. And that's how you gotta get yourself ready You gotta get yourself a brand new Am I welcome to the 16th? The Sixties, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh mama, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Am I welcome to the 16th? welcome to the Sixties Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Go mama, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Come on, go go go Oh mama, welcome to the Sixties Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Hey mama, Welcome to the Wiener Stadion.

yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah! Hey mama, hey mama, Welcome to the Wiener Stadion. take my hand! First let's make a pit stop at the wiener stand! Welcome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, mama, hey, mama, take my hand. First, let's make a pit stop at the Wiener Stadion. Hey mama, Hey mama, hey mama, take a chance Drake, hey mama, take a chance!

Tracy, see it's been years since someone asked me to dance So I love the love that's now Say hello, it's been years since someone asked me to dance! So I don't know how to dance now, the light in your eyes You're the number one girl with the best now You got a lovely reason with a price Hey mama, until I... Oh, the light of your eyes.

You said, oh, the world's a little faster now. We got a little bit of a race to win, welcome to the a little bit of a fight. Hey, mama, welcome to the 60s.

60's Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh mama, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. welcome to the Oh, mama, welcome to the 60's Oh, 60s. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. oh Oh mama, Go, take a chance mama, go, go, go. Oh, Go, mama, go, go!

Go, go, welcome to the go! Come to the safety! 60s.

Oh, baby mama. Go, go, go! Go, go, go! Yeah, Yeah! Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

yeah, Reach, yeah! Ellie, We've got to go once more, go! That's where they last! they last!

Eat them up, Eat em'up, girls! girls! I got ten cups of taffy inside! I've got ten cups of taffy inside! Hi, Mr. Hi, Mr. Pinky, Pinky!

I'm Tracy! I'm Tracy! There's my shining star! There's my shiny!

So I'm quack, Mwah, mwah! Television doesn't do you justice! quack!

Television doesn't do you justice! Oh, Oh, Mr. Mr. Pinky, Pinky, you certainly picked a lovely girl to put the plus in your blood sizes. you certainly picked a lovely girl who put the plus in your plus item.

Oh, Oh, now, now, Tracy, Tracy, this can't be your agent. this can't be your agent! No, No, she must be your gorgeous big sister. she must be your gorgeous big sister! Oh, Oh, Mr. Mr. Pinky, Pinky, you're twisting my head.

you're twisting my heart! I'm not her gorgeous big sister. I'm not her gorgeous big sister, I'm 54 double T triple E.

Sir, I 54 double D. Triple E. Oh, I get the other one. I am a motherhood, Step inside. step inside, Let's make a deal.

let's make a deal. Am I what? 60?

Am I the one who's in the 60's? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, am I what? 60?

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Only mama's worth in the 60's? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. No, mama, no, no, no. I'm still doing my review day. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Go mama, Take your old fashioned and just throw them away.

go go go Let's build a real love, ready to date your whole time. And just throw them away You better throw them away You're a fool and you're nothing but a fool Cause you're so, Cause it's time for the star That's like you Me? Don't let your body try to chill your blood Cause a little touch of lipstick never hurt no one But if you've got a really broken YouTube shoe Why don't you open a little wall or even hide it on a shoe?

so, so, so, so, you Me? Don't you let nobody try to steal your fun Cause a little touch of lipstick never hurt no one I've got a million ropes for you to refuse But you walk a little farther into my heel shoes I'm a little drunk and I'm feeling like you You're a fool and you're nothing but a fool Cause you're so, That's what we understand But it's a spell I knew And it's perfect for you So come on, here I come Come on, so, let's go! so, so, so, you You're cute!

Tracy, Tracy, oh Tracy, oh Tracy, look at me look at me! I'm the cutest chickie that you'll ever see! I think the cutest chickie that you ever did see Hey Tracy, hey baby, Tracy, hey baby, look at us look at us! Where is there a team that's half as fabulous?

Where is there a team that's half as fabulous? Go, go, go! Go, Back now, go, go, say hello to the red carpet guy!

back now Yes, hello, Say hello to the wrecked underbite Get settled, the world's been a blast now! get back now Hello to Bridget on a step aside Come on, Hello, the bridge, you're not a step aside! let's go to the machine No And mama loves to beat Oh, no, the six feet, oh, Oh, I'm a big fan of the Oh What?

And what- Is that supposed to be? Is that supposed to be? Isn't it the dreamiest? Isn't it the dreamiest? It's called the Tracy.

It's called the tracing. Everyone who's anyone has one! Everyone who's anyone has one. Gather up students!

Students, brace yourself for Scattered Dodgeball! Brace yourself for Scattered Dodgeball! I got balls! I got balls! Kathy Schmink told me she heard Tracy was in the backseat of a car with two boys at once, Kathy Schmink told me she heard Tracy was in the backseat of a car with two boys at once playing tonsil hockey in the mood.

playing tonsil hockey in the nude. Is it true that they put her in special ed? that they put her in special ed.

Yup! Tracy turned loud to Tramp and she's retarded! That's right, she's fast and slow at the same time! Yes, Tracy turned left at Tramp, Link Larkin, and she's retargeted.

how could you have kissed that beehive buffalo right on the air? That's right, she's fast and slow at the same time. Link Larkin, how could you have kissed that beehive buck girl right on air? Amber, it meant nothing. Amber, it meant nothing.

It was just a cool way to end the song. It was just a cool way to end the song. Hey look!

Hey, look! Here they come! Here they come! Special ed!

Snick, Special ed! snick, snick, That ain't cool, snick! That ain't cool, Fender.

Fender. Try to act like a grown up. Try to act like a grown-up.

How about special ed? Special ed! Oh Link, Link, if fate forces you to throw the ball at me, if fate forces you to throw the ball at me, it's healing with a kiss.

seal it with a kiss! I hope somebody says a little prayer for me, I hope somebody says a little prayer for me, cause this game's gonna get vicious! cause this game's gonna get vicious.

What is Scatterdodgeball anyway? But it's Scatterdodge Ball anyway. Oh well uh, Oh, well, uh, it's kinda like a protest rally. it's kinda like a protest rally.

When the police show up, When the police show up, you just uh... you just, uh, SCATTERDODGE! SCATTERDODGE!

Hey Tracy! Hey, Tracy. Sorry about your special ed-ness.

Sorry about your special-egg mess. But think of it as a testament to the re- But think of it as a testament to the record-breaking extremes your ha- record-breaking extremes your hair has reached. My hair has fringed. I'm so jealous.

I'm so jealous. Hello. Excuse me.

Hello. This is my best friend, Uh, Seaweed, this is my best friend, Penny Lou Pingleton. Penny Lou Pinkleton.

You know what? I think I've seen you before. I think I've seen you before.

At the, At the Wrigley's bubblegum vending machine, uh, Wrigley's Bubblegum Vent. the machine right i do two packs a day well uh you know with all that chewing it must make the muscles in your mouth pretty strong not really probably just average well right? I do two packs a day.

Well, you know, with all that chewing, it must make the muscles in your mouth pretty strong. Not really. Probably just average. well well tracy tugboat you finally found a title you could win miss special ed amber knock it off amber von tussle Well, well, well, Tracy Tugboat.

Choo-choo! You finally found a title you could win. Miss Special Ed. Amber, knock it off. Amber Von Tussle, You have acne of the soul!

you have acne of the soul. Students, Students, commence! commence! Take the exercise, Dance! start this!

I'm the night side of this! You throw like a girl! You're like girl!

Hey man, no fan! Hey, no fan! Don't throw it at the face!

Yeah, No throwing out the face! go for a snuff! Yeah, super is enough!

No! Everybody take it easy, No! Everybody take it easy! This isn't World War III! this isn't World War 3!

Says you! Says you! Eat that, Eat that, bell-trampy tunnelard!

Valtrani-Tenelard! Game over. Game over. Oh, Clancy's- Girl, What's this?

someone's to take a shower. Girls who must take a shower? Extra credit! Extra credit! Poor Tracy.

Poor Tracy. So tragic I forgot to cry. So tragic I forgot to cry. Are you coming, Are you coming with?

Link? Amber, Amber, that wasn't necessary. that wasn't necessary. I said, I said, are you coming with?

are you coming, Link? In a minute. In a minute. I'll be waiting.

I'll be waiting. Under the bleachers. Under the bleachers. Uh-oh, Uh oh, Tracy! Tracy!

Are you dead? Are you dead? I'm gonna go get the school nurse. I'm gonna go get the school nurse. I'll go with you.

I'll go with you. Tracy? Tracy?

Tracy, Tracy, you alright? you alright? Gee, Gee, you're beautiful when you're unconscious. you're beautiful when you're unconscious. I can hear the bells.

I can hear the bells. Where am I? Tracy, Tracy, you alright? you alright? Oh, Oh, for a second there, for a second there, it looked like Teen Angel time.

it looked like Teen Angel time. Wherever I am, Wherever I am, nobody changed the channel. nobody changed the channel.

You've got a funny way of putting things. You've got a funny way of putting things. I like that. I like that. The nurse was out sick, The nurse was out outside.

Sick. but look what Simi found. But look what Simi found. Uh, Uh, I found a Q-tip, I found, uh, a Q-tip, a band-aid, a band-aid, and a rubber.

and, uh, a rubber. But I guess that's mine. But I guess that's mine. He's so nurturing!

He's so nurturing. Link, this is my friend Seaweed. Wait, this is my friend Simi. How you doing? How you doing?

How you doing? How you doin'? How are you doing?

How you doin'? What do you think? How do you think? I just got creamed in front of the entire school. I just got creamed in front of the entire school!

Hey, Hey, Trace, Trace, I think I got something that'll make you feel better. I think I got something that'll make you feel better. My mom's pitching a platter party on North Avenue.

My mom's pushing a platter party on Long Avenue. Do you want to come out and check it out? Do you wanna come, Mom?

Check it out? Uh, I too feel not good. Uh, I do feel not good.

May I also come check it out? May I also come? Check it out? Ha, you're really nice. Oh, have you ever been to North Avenue before?

Oh, I've never been to North Avenue before. Uh, would it be okay, Would it be okay, you know, you know, for us? for us to go? Uh-uh.

Don't worry, Don't worry about it, I'm not a kind of boy. you're not going to want to go. It's cool.

So what do you think, So many things, Link. Link? I think getting to know you is the beginning of a whole lot of adventure.

I think getting to know you is the beginning of a whole lot of adventure. Imagine! Imagine!

Being a white person by color, We ain't invited places by colored people. people, it feels so heavy. Well, I'm glad you feel that way, It feels so hip. Well, I'm glad you feel that way, friends, because not everybody does.

friends, because not everybody does. Let me tell you. Here, let me show you. I can't see what people think of me.

I can't see why people don't look at me. You can see the color of my face Huh, See the color of my face can't they see? If they do And there's those who try to help God knows they always had to put me in my place And then those that I've held God knows they always hide the cookie in my face Now I won't ask you to be so blind Cause if you're through the roof You know you'll shut up my eyes Like you're the very sweetest juice I can sing it in low tone What do you think? Now I won't ask you to Cut a line Cause if you're so rude You know you're gonna find That you're the very sweetest I can say it ain't so Darling, what did you Doctor the talker With the taste And that's where the devil Now runs in Now Talk your talk with the rich of taste And that's where the cat now runs its head Oh yeah, Oh yeah, I know, I can tell that I can tell that I can see People looking for dreams I'm telling what I know you do Oh yeah, I'm running down that I'm running down that I can see My people disagree Come on, I can feel the love You see the world I'm from I bet your heart is gonna feel it too Now I could fly away and you let me go And now it can't be nice But it doesn't turn me on tell them what I know you do Oh yeah I need your love To see the world I'm from I bet your heart is gonna feel it too I could lie, but baby, there's no That never can be nice You know it should be cold I could be very sweet, Back to the very beginning Sweet up the youth I'm feeling so good Remember the I could do I could feel it in your soul, darling What?

You have to talk to me, I'll be you, ha! Stop your talk with your bitch-looking face talk to me, or it doesn't take you And that's where the child's at Now run and tell, And that's where the tap is Now run and tell that Run and tell that Run and tell that Run and tell that Now run and tell that oh yeah Run and tell that Now run and tell that Run and tell that, oh yeah Run and tell that Run and tell that Run and tell that Come on now, I'm gonna stop. Come on, stop now.

Yeah, yeah. Come on. Yeah. You're Trixie Turnblad. You're my favorite nigger in the Corny Town, though.

Oh, this is my sister, Little Anette. Sure, I saw you at the auditions. You're the only one who did.

They kicked me out of my youngin'and blacked me out. You got a tough girl to handle. I'm tired of covering up all my friends. So give me a bow on the black and side I got a new way of moving and I got The shout of the big boy Welcome to the Little Bunch of Shots and Rejoice!

All the people from here can't really pay their rent They're trying to make a dollar out of these big things And we got to see where money comes from And we must do it or we're going to die! Oh It can be the kind of world where we get our chance, Hey, oh yeah So we can show them how to turn the music up and let's all dance My heart thinks I feel it going, All right, oh lord, oh God, it's hard why don't you come to work? Don't you know? Black and the barren, For the feet of the street, I'm just a little drunk.

I always wanted to be sexy, Stopped at the top, And then I'm rich, All the same, I can't wait to be sexy, Now run it till then, Run it till then, Run it till then, Oh yeah, Ah, ye Hey, hey, babies! There's platters of tunes and food on the table. Tunes and food on the table, But what else would you expect from...

but what else would you expect from Miss Mulder Mouth Maybell? Miss Boy, Mouth, Maybell! Mama, Mama, you know Mama brought some friends. I hope you don't mind that I brought some friends. And what a tune we ever...

And what are you? The Emma Sparkins certainly Clark. I'm Penny Lou Pinkleton, Always a pleasure, and I'm very pleased and scared to be here.

Miss Mulder Mouth. Uh, I'm Penny Lou Pinkleton, and I'm very pleased and scared to be here. Well, now, Well, you're welcome to come on in.

now, you're welcome to come on in. But this is just so afrotastic! This is just so afrotastic.

I'm Tracy's TV friend. Well, can I say how thrilled I am to be here? I'm Tracy's TV friend.

Oh, Oh, now I've seen you, now I see you, sweetie, sweetie, all the global cornish show. all the girls on the court show. Oh, Oh, thanks. jeez, The only reason I'm even on the show is because of your son.

thanks. The only reason I'm even on the show is because of your son. Why can't we dance like this since we're teaming together all the time?

Why can't we dance like this on TV together all the time? You think we gotta try? You think we gotta try? We begged, We begged, we pleaded, we pleaded, we even lied. we even lied.

We pressured the mayor, We pressured the mayor, petitioned the gov, petitioned the gov, and what did we get? and what did we get? One day a month! One day a month. You know, You know what?

I don't know if this is talking. Enough of this talking. We can dance.

We can do this. You know, So why don't we try a little dance called Hot MC? why don't we play a little game called, party? Dirty Bookie! I'm asleep!

Dirty poopy! AHHHHH! Hi!

Lake, Wait, Ornish! what are you doing with the huge crowd of minorities? What are you doing with this huge crowd of minorities?

Uh, Trying to fit in, trying to get in. what are you doing? What are you doing? I waited for you under the bleachers, I waited for you under the bleachers, halfway through the JV track meet!

halfway through the J.D. Tramp meet. And then I saw you get on the North Avenue bus, And then I saw you get on the North Avenue bus, so I followed you here in my new car! so I followed you. I'm carrying my new car!

Come on Amber, Come on, Amber. you're having a good time. You're having a good time.

time join us Join us. Ah! Ah! Amber!

Amber has anyone touched you? Amber, has anyone touched you? Y'all better hustle cause he is Von Tussle I saw you get into your darkened new heart so I followed you in mine Y'all better hustle, because he is well untussled.

I saw you leave until your darkening. Water mouth are you brainwashing these children? I followed you in mine.

Oh now they're only dancing Oh I should have known you were at the bottom of the bed Mothermouth, are you brainwashing these children? Oh, now they're only dancing. Tracy, Yeah, we're dancing. it was you I saw! Oh, I should have known you were at the bottom of the barrel.

Oh! Ow! Tracy, it was you I saw.

Wilbur, Wilbur, it was the kids I saw! it was the kids I saw. What are you doing here? Mama, what are you doing here? Well, Well, I suddenly had a craving for chicken and waffles, I suddenly had a craving for chicken and waffles, so we drove up to Ruby's Takeout across the way.

so we drove up to Ruby's Takeout across the way. Hello, Hello everyone, everyone, I'm Tracy's mom. I'm Tracy's mom. Oh, Oh, so you're what spawned that. so you're what spawned that.

Excuse me? Excuse me? You two are living proof that the watermelon doesn't fall far from the vine.

You two are living proof that the watermelon doesn't fall far from the vine. Tracy, Tracy, you dear and whole mommy's waffle. be a dear and hold mommy's waffles.

Alright! All right, a party! Anyone for chicken and waffles? More chicken and waffles?

If we get any more white people in here, If we get any more white people in here, it'll be a suburb. it'll be a suburb. Suburb?

Come on, Come on, Amber, Amber, let's get back to the right side of the tracks. let's get back to the right side of the tracks. That's if our cars are still there.

That's if our cars are still there. Let's go, Let's go, Link! Link! Amber, Amber! you're being rude to these people.

You're being rude to these people. Amber, Amber, come. come. Link, Link, come.

come! Link, Link, come. come! Amber.

Amber, Go! go! Well, Well, whatever happened to the bland, whatever happened to the bland, spiteful boy I fell in love with?

spineless boy I fell in love with? Mother, come with pleasure! Pleasure.

I didn't care for them. I didn't care for them. I want people like this! I want people like this. Nah, Nah, just most.

just most. Well, Like how we can start changing things. I know how we can start changing things.

If kids saw us dancing together on TV, It keeps us dancing together on TV. We didn't realize we're not too different after all. they'd realize we're not so different after all!

We just want to have a good time. We just want to have a good time. time wait so what you're saying is that you and Link would be willing to dance with us on Negro Day that is just earth-shaking Tracy no we're not gonna dance with you on Negro Day you're crashing white day white day now child that's Wait, so what you're saying is that you and Link would be willing to dance with us on Negro Day? Ha!

That is just earth-shaking! Tracy... No, we're not going to dance with you on Negro Day. You're crashing White Day!

White Day? Now, child, that's... That's every day, That's every day, so you gotta get more specific than that.

so you gotta get more specific than that. Well, Well, think. Is tomorrow specific enough?

think. Is tomorrow specific enough? It's Mother Daughter Day.

It's Mother Daughter Day. Miss Vodermouth, Miss Vodermatt, you work for the station, if you work for the station, they could never turn you and little Inez away. they could never turn you and Little Endez away. And once the two of you break the barrier, And once the two of you break the barrier, we'll all be free to dance on TV together! we'll all be free to dance on TV together!

Well, that is just downright revolutionary! Well, that is just downright revolutionary! We'll set out spikes like Rosa Pop.

Well, that's facts like Rosa Parks. Now, Now, child, child, it ain't that easy, it ain't that easy, and this ain't par-cheesy. and this ain't par-cheesy.

Now, Now, what if she calls the cops? what if she calls the cops? Somebody could get hurt. Somebody could get her. Well, Well, then we'll all walk out together.

then we'll all work out together. Well, There's me, there's me, there's Link. there's Link, I'm sure we could get the others. I'm sure we can get the others. Without- dancers they've got no show.

Well, dancers, they've got their show. You got that right. You got that right. Well your girl's got vision.

What do you girls got busy? Well we've always tried to teach her to do what's right. Well, we've always tried to teach her to do what's right.

And give correct change. And give correct change. Tracy you can't do this.

Tracy, you can't do this. You're new to the county. You're new to the county.

We'll be blackballed and thrown off the show for sure. You're blackballed and thrown off the show for sure. Well, Well, that's why we're going to do it together.

that's why we're gonna do it together. Not me. Not me. You don't think segregation is wrong?

You don't think segregation is wrong? Look, Look, I like these people. I like these people. But whether or not they get on TV won't get me a recording contract. But whether or not they get on TV won't get me a recording contract.

That came out well. That came out wrong. Look.

Look. I've been singing, I've been singing, dancing, dancing, and smiling on that show for three years, and smiling on that show for three years, waiting for it to lead to my break. waiting for it to lead to my break. You've got everything.

You've cut everything. Brains, Brains, talent, talent, personality. personality. Me?

Me? I've got one chance to get seen nationwide. I've got one chance to get seen nationwide.

Casey, You see, Saturday is everything I've ever looked forward for, Saturday is everything I've ever looked forward for, and I'm not going to throw it away. and I'm not gonna throw it away. I'm going to go, I'm gonna go, and you've got to go too.

and you gotta go too. No! No!

I wanna do this, I want to do this. It's what's right. it's what's right! Link, Like, stay, stay, please.

please. Sorry. Sorry.

But you and me together, But you and me together, I was just starting to think... I'm sure-Sure! Me too.

Me too. But it's getting complicated. But... it's getting complicated.

And there's still Amber. And there's still Amber. I'll see you, I'll see you, little darling.

little darling. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Tracy. Tracy. How could I be playing hard to get and ever care about someone like me? How could I think Link Larkin would ever care about someone like me?

Of course he could. Of course he could. It's just that Eddie Fisher thing all over again. It's just that Eddie Fisher thing all over again.

Don't tease. Mama, don't tease. I really liked him. I really liked him. I've never felt anything like this before.

I've never felt anything like this before. And I'm sure if you give him enough time, And I'm sure if you give him enough time, he'll feel the same way about you. he'll feel the same way about you.

Boys just aren't the fastest thing. Boys just aren't the fastest thing. You just wait, You just wait, and I'm sure he'll... and I'm sure... You'll feel exactly the same way about you.

I don't feel exactly the same way about you. You have to say that, You have to say that, you're my mother. you're my mother. I'm more than your mother.

I'm more than your mother. I'm a woman in love. I'm a woman in love.

And we know about these things. And we know about these things. Tracy, Tracy, he could be right. he could be right.

Should you risk your career? Should you risk your career? Well, Well, I never would have gotten on the show if it weren't for Seaweed.

I never would have gotten on the show if it weren't for Seaweed. No. No. No, No, it's payback time!

it's payback time! That's my girl! That's my girl! Okay, Okay, so here's what we're gonna do. so here's what we're gonna do.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, everyone bring your mothers. everyone bring your mothers. And sisters. And sisters.

And meet around the corner from the studio and make signs! And meet around the corner from the studio and make signs! Yes, and put words on them!

Yes, and put words on them! Huh? Sure, now. The little line dance will walk the line. Miss Motormouth?

You and little Inez will walk in first. Me and Mama will be right behind you! Me and Mama will be right behind you.

Excuse me? Excuse me? Well, Well, they'll never be able to push them out the back door with us blocking it.

they'll never be able to push them out the back door with us blocking in! No one said anything about me appearing on television. No one said anything about me appearing on television. I'm just not comfortable appearing on television. I'm just not comfortable appearing on television at my current pace.

television at my current weight. Now, Now, you can't let weight restrict your fate. you can't let weight restrict your fate.

Now, Now look at me. look at me. I'm on TV. I'm on TV.

But you're a celebrity, But you're a celebrity, Miss Motormouth. Miss Motormouth. I'm just an ordinary housewife of indeterminate girth.

I'm just an ordinary outwife of indeterminate girth. Well, Well, the bigger your girth, the bigger your girth, the more you're worth. the more your worth. Now, Now, Mr. Mr. Turnblad, Turnblad, you don't mind that the missus here is an ample American, you don't mind that the missus here is an ample American, do you?

do you? Not at all. Not at all. I think of her as prime real estate.

I think of her as prime real estate. Nice and roomy. Nice and roomy. Now, Now you listen to me. you listen to me.

Once upon a time, girl, I was just like you I was just a- like you. Never let my extra large largest shot through Hair was brown and nappy, Never let my extra large, large, yes, I'm true. Ever crowned and happy, never had no fun never had no fun.

I hid under a bush, I hid under a bushel which is easier said than done Then one day my grandma who was big and stout which is easy to tell you. Then one day my grandma, who was big and stout, She said you gotta love yourself from inside out Just as soon as I learned how to strut my funky strut she said, you gotta load yourself from inside out. So just as soon as I learned how to start my funky song. I found out that the world at large can't fit in the store Bring on that pecan pie I'm a type of world that boys can't get enough of. Bring on that pecan pie.

Oh, so sugar on it, Oh, some sugar, honey, sugar, sugar, don't be shy don't be shy. Scoop me up a mess of that chocolate swirl Scoop me up a mascarpone chocolate swirl. Don't be stingy on the crumb Girl, Don't be stingy, I'm a Freudian girl. don't fall for big love When you're a parlor tee How do you know I'm a big love?

I'm a big love with no apology. I'm a big love with no apology. How can I deny the world the most of me?

the world the most crowded place. I am not afraid to throw my weight around I am not afraid to go my way. I am hell-bound, hell-bound, Pound by pound by pound On my big bonanza and beautiful There is nothing about me that's unsuitable No one wants a meal that only I can eat hell-bound.

Before I take for granted a few ways home, there is nothing that we can't do suitable. No one wants to feel they're only part of the movie when you're just stirring up the whole thing. When girl, we're serving up the whole can Oh!

I'm a piece of that hot head cheese Take a look inside my bigger recipe I don't just live around for something, Oh, something at last I need a man who brings a man to have a try I need a hand to sugar and a dash of spice I'll let you make this food for me, please, please I keep getting my own skills Good and hot Keep on selling till it hits the spot You can see my other children's good and hot People staring, staring at the spot Because I'm big, Cause I'm a big blonde fun, and beautiful And every girl you're looking at's totally incredible Why don't you get on the side of my roof, And beautiful And that's a girl you're looking so incredible Passing on the signs I'm livid and afraid When only you can be your own parade What about it, dim it at the rate When honey, you can be your own parade So how about it, mama? mama? Well, I am big blonde Well I am big and fun I'm a big blockish, and if you say I'm beautiful, one dish. And if you say I'm beautiful, well then I guess I am. Alright, I'll do it.

Look out, old one, well then I guess I am. we're marching in and we ain't jumping from that old back door. Alright, I'll do it!

And Tracy, And Tracy, I will join your fight if I can keep up the pace. I will join your fight if I can keep up the pace. And girls, I'll be right at your side if I can't find the way. I'll be right at your side if I can find some space. So you can whoop, Don't!

Hold your head up just as big as you please hold your head up just as big as you please. And oh, You know they'll hear me now, they'll hear me knocking with the beat of these The world's side by side, cause it's the truth of the earth. Tomorrow's time, I'll show the world what's right.

so the world's right Looks like I'm touching up my roots now Touching my roots and we'll be happy Beautiful and beautiful And cause I think the grass is dear and beautiful And cause I think the grass is dear and beautiful Looks like I'm touching up my roots tonight. Touch my roots and we'll be big, long and beautiful. And come and make the room as beautiful as you love.

I'm a mother, So I'm gonna be free, I'm a son, I'm a sweet freak I'm trying to find the tastiest quality I'm mother, from this body-tasting quality. My mother thought her diggers'skin is in her white-ass wool. daughter, day we're thin as in we're white as wool Well ladies, Well, ladies, fingers back and ask for black, think it's hot, and ask for black kids. it's beautiful All shapes and sizes follow me Beautiful! I'll take the diamonds, follow me.

Let's bust their chops We're gonna dance the way we do Let's bust that chop! All the clubs! We're gonna take away the days of old me.

So we are all in this It's a big, Stay away! big show, hey! Oh, come on! Stay! You can see, this is beautiful!

Oh, come on! Make all the people in the world come and take it! Dance! Big doll house. For those of you who joke to the panel, I'm telling you right now, I don't know.

Go Freddy! For any loser, Boozer, stupid, doping, cussing, pussish, gambling, gambler, fighting All the sort of unglazed like behavior Think of me as a mother who eats her dog I'm locked up here with all these lowlife women And horizontal stripes ain't exactly slim Is there anybody here who could drag me by my- or any other sort of unlikely behavior, think of me as a mother who eats her dog. Cracked up here with all these low-life women And horizontal strikes ain't exactly swimming Is there anybody here who can dry clean my blouse? It's the main scale In the big dollhouse It's the big day off in the big dollhouse Lady Texas, Lady Texas, where have you gone? where have you gone?

Ooh, Ooh, Wilbur Check, Wilberjack, I think I left the iron on Did you see Courtney laughing? I think I left the iron on. Did you see Corny laughing?

I could hurt her that loud That'll get you life in the big dollhouse I could turn the bed loud. Sonny, go get your light in the big dollhouse. Big house!

I need a tonjiko visit from my lovin'spouse All right, Locked up in the bed. Big house! No more.

No more. I need a touch of gold visit from my loving spouse. Wow, honey, you just dropped the soap.

ladies, time for the lesson, In the big dollhouse. All right, Becky, time for the next part. Let's go. MUSIC guys.

Let's go! Ooh, My stomach's a little bit sour I haven't had food in over an hour my stomach's a little bit sour. I haven't had food in over an hour. He just had a pizza. Just had a pizza, That's not cocoa.

so cool, won't come out There's no food left in the big doll house I'm a matron, A mouth. There's no food left in the big doll house. Come on, matron.

I'm not a complete nobody. I've got a complex But I know you from first and last You call my shysters, Don't I know you from first and last? Oh, my shysters.

look just as proud I gotta get screwed from the big doll house No fair! Let's fix this house. I've got to get strong around the big doll house. No fair!

Big doll. No fair! Go there. Fight the death, run for freedom Wait till the church fights it down So we don't step out of this big doll house No fair! She's crying, she's crying, she's crying, she's crying.

Penny, I can't take all of this waiting. I've lost my man, A penny I can't take all of this waiting! plus my stairs to play down.

I've lost my man, Tracy, plus my hair's deflated! I hate to grumble and growl. I'm Tracy, I hate to grumble and frown! But it's your fault that we're in this big doll house. But it's your fault that we're in this big dollhouse!

Take all of these! Hey! All these ladies are so proud. I'm not a bad thing, I'm a bad thing.

Her dad. A child? And don't you get a little man to bail you out? A loser, a pervert, a staff It's just us girls in the Big Doll House Big Doll House I'm too young to play house Her daddy's a loser, a pervert, and a sap.

Well, it's just us girls in the big cup. Big cup! I'm turning down the price!

I'm busting out! Lady Justice here my legal The big doll house, I'm busting out Girl, blow it up Make you justice, the big doll house, here might be good Big Doll House The Big Doll House The Big Doll the big doll house They're paying no more For me, Music Music Who's the ooooh? Yeah, she's the diva, she's the diva Hey! Huh?

You heard me! Music You heard me! Alright ladies, recess is over.

It is time to pay your debt to society. It is time to pay your debt to society. And please keep in mind, And please keep in mind, tipping is permitted.

tipping is permitted. Tipping is permitted. Tipping is permitted.

I kill myself! I kill myself! To think I'd live to have a rap sheet! I think I'd live to have a rap sheet. If my mother was alive, If my mother was alive.

she'd be very proud of you. I'm very proud of you. Remember, Remember, your grandmother was a suffragette.

your grandmother was a suffragette. Right. Right. But you haven't heard the last from us, You haven't heard the last from us, Mrs. Mrs. Von Tussle!

Von Tussle. We'll be marching again and soon to the beat of a whole new era! We'll be marching again and soon to the beat of a whole new era. Oh, Oh, bang your drum, bang your drum, Bonzo. Bonzo.

No one cares. No one cares. And don't get any more of your cute protesting ideas. And don't get any more of your cute protesting ideas. I'll have armed guards surrounding the studio if you even think about coming within a hundred feet of that place.

I'll have armed guards surrounding the studio if you even think about coming within a hundred feet of that place. Game, Game, set, set, match. match. Von Tussle, Montessor, Velma. Belmont.

Von Tussle, Montessor, Amber. Amber. That's us.

That's us! Ladies, Ladies. you are free to go with the sincere apologies of the state of Maryland and the personal compliments of the governor himself. You're free to go with the sincere apologies of the state of Maryland and the personal compliments of the governor himself.

The governor? The governor? Really, Really, sweet chubby Millard.

sweet chubby Millard? Well, Well, I guess it pays to have a politician in your back pocket and the Polaroids in the safe. I guess it pays to have a politician in your back pocket and the Polaroids in the safe. Now, Now, if you two double-wide twins will excuse me, if two double-wide twins will excuse me, I have a national television spectacular to produce.

I have a national television spectacular to produce. I was never here. I was never here. This never happened! This never happened.

Oh, Oh, Tracy, Trixie, any messages for Link? any messages for Link? Place them on my lips and I'll be sure he gets them!

Place them on my lips and I'll be sure he gets them. So long, So long, Baltimore-ons! Baltimore. Ah!

Ah! I still don't care for them. I still don't care for them. I hear you, I hear you didn't need his jail, Miss T. This jail just got a whole lot nicer. just got a whole lot nicer.

You got a visitor. You got a visitor. Bail's been posted. Bale's been posted. Well, Well, thank the Lord for those who can afford.

thank the Lord for those who can't afford. I posted bail! I posted Bale! Wilbur! Wilbur!

How? No! How simple, Oh, simple, really. really. I mortgaged the Hardy Har Hut.

I mortgage the hardy-har-har. Oh, Oh, Daddy. Daddy. But that place is your life.

But that place is your life. No, Oh, you two are my life. you tour my life.

A bill for everyone. A bed for everyone. A benefit for the house. A bed for the house. You're...

You're free to go. free to go. Hey, Hey, that Turnblad gang are real nice folks. that's her black gang of real nice folks. They have the heart and they get the joke.

They have the heart and they get the joke. Oh, prisoners, Oh, prisoners, please turn in your top shoes on the way out. please turn in your tap shoes on the way out.

Shall we make haste? Jowlery, make haste. Now hold it there, Now hold it there, sucker man. sucker man. We're keeping that rotund rabble rouser on ice. We're keeping that little tongue rattle.

rouser on ice. I paid for everyone. I paid for everyone. Got a group discount. Got a group discount.

Tracy Turnblad is herewith and forthwith withheld without bear. Tracy turned ladders here with and forth with withheld without pay. She is to be moved to solitary confinement and held there until fifth. She is to be moved to solitary confinement and held there until further notice by special order of the governor's office.

further notice by special order of the governor's office. So there. So there. The governor's office? The governor's office?

Mrs. Van Tussle, Mrs. Van Tussle, manipulating the judicial system just to win a contest as an American. manipulating the judicial system just to win a contest is un-American. Now, Now, don't make things worse for yourself.

don't make things worse for yourself. Move out peacefully. Move out peacefully. I'm not leaving here without my daughter. I'm not leaving here.

without my daughter. It's okay, It's okay, Daddy. Daddy. They can't keep me here forever. They can't keep me here forever.

Besides, Besides, I've got a lot to think about. I've got a lot to think about. I might as well do it in solitary refinement.

I might as well do it in solitary refinement. I'm counting on Priya and that'll re-arrest you all for illegal trespass. I'm counting to three, and then I'm re-arresting you all for illegal trespass. Let's go. Let's go.

We can't do Tracy any good here. We can't do Tracy any good here. Touch one little hair on my little girl's head, Touch one little hair on my little girl's head and I'll be back and show you a whole new meaning to Split End. and I'll be back and show you a whole new meaning to split ends. Keep faking.

They haven't heard the last from us. They haven't heard the last remarks. You're so lucky to get out of the algebra final.

You're so lucky to get out of the algebra climate. The heart Oh, oh, oh, my heart has grown, but it's broken too. has grown. It's broken too. This morning life was a Baltimore fairy tale.

This morning life was a Baltimore fairy tale Now I can't make bail I can't make bail. My mother's in shock My mother's in shock. My father's in hock My father's in hock.

I much prefer Link's arms to jailhouse cells I much prefer Link's arms to jailhouse cells. So Link, So Link, please rest. please rescue me now Cause I love you and this prison spell I love you.

And this prison smells like hear the bells. I hear the bells, get ready Get ready Baltimore, there's a bright brand new day in store. Baltimore. There's a bright brand new day.

This door let me out so these dreams unfurled. Let me out so those dreams unfurl, I'll eat some breakfast and change the world. I'll eat some breakfast and change the world. I promise all to know, I promise Baltimore, one time I'll charge you right now. once I cha-cha right out of that door, the world's gonna wake up and see.

He makes him love with me. Hello? Well, Oh yes, yes, Mr. Mr. Pinky.

Pinky. Well, I know you have an empire to protect, I know you have an empire to protect, but I... but I...

Yes, Yes, I'll return the outfits. I'll... I'll return the outfits.

Petty pants, Petty pants, too. too. Well, Well, I scarcely wore them.

I scarcely wore them. twice but mr pinky tracy's just a little girl and and little girls make mistakes if they didn't make mistakes where would other little girls come from yes Twice. But Mr. Pinky, Tracy's just a little girl and little girls make mistakes. If they didn't make mistakes, where would other little girls come from?

Yes, it is too bad goodbye mr pinky it is too bad. Goodbye, Mr. Pinky. Oh Wilbur, Oh, Wilbur, this is a real might-all moment.

this is a real my-doll moment. I just closed up shop. I just closed up shop. My stomach's on edge, My stomach is on edge, my nerves are all a mess. my nerves are all a mess.

Calm down, Calm down, sweetheart. sweetheart. Calm down, Calm down. calm down! Calm down.

Oh, Oh, there are names for mothers who've abandoned their daughters who've been arrested for tra- there are names for mothers who've abandoned their daughters, who've been arrested for trying to integrate an after-school sock-off type television show. trying to integrate an after-school sock-off type television show. Oh yes, Oh yes, there are names.

there are names. And Hallmark doesn't make a card for any of them. And Hallmark doesn't... make a card for any of them? You can't worry about people calling you names.

Can't worry about people calling in names. You know how many times people have called me crazy? You know how many times people have called me crazy? But I say, But I say, yeah crazy, yeah, crazy. crazy like a loon.

Crazy like a loon. Anyway, we have another band in there. Anyway, we have an abandoned area.

In fact, I've got just the thing for her here. In fact, I've got just the thing for here. Stand back. Stand back.

Ready? Woo! Huh? What do you think?

What do you think? Isn't it a doozy? Isn't it a doozy? Oh, impressive. Impressive.

But how is that little thing going to help our tracing? But how is that little thing going to help our tracing? Oh, Oh, you'll be surprised. you'll be surprised.

Oh, Oh, sure. sure. You're an innovative inventor out saving the world and... You're an innovative inventor out saving the world, and Tracy's a teen idol reshaping the world.

Tracy's a teen idol reshaping the world. What am I? What am I? Well, Well, I had dreams too.

I had dreams too. I know. I used to make all my own clothing until I wandered beyond the boundaries of the largest I used to make all my own clothing until I wandered beyond the boundaries of the largest McCall's patterns.

McCall's patterns. I always thought I always thought I'd start my own line of queen-size patterns. I'd start my own line of queen-size patterns. Oh, Oh, you were good, you were good at- Edna. and I owe a lot of good to somebody.

Oh, a lot of good. It stung me. Twenty years and I'm still washing and ironing, 20 years and I'm still washing and ironing and mending other people's clothing. mending other people's clothing.

One day, One day I'd know. Edna. Oh, Oh no day. no day.

My day's come and gone. My day's come and gone. I'm like a half-filled book of green stamps beyond redemption.

I'm like a half-killed book of green stamps beyond redemption. Oh, Oh, Wilbur. well, Oh, Wilbur.

Suddenly I feel so old. suddenly I feel so old. Oh, nonsense, Oh nonsense, doll.

doll. You know what? What?

Your spry is a slinky. Your spry is a slinky. Watch it, Whenever I'm near you, whenever I'm near you, it's like grabbing a hold of a giant. it's like grabbing hold of a giant toy buzzer. Enjoy, buzzer.

Styles keep a-changing. Styles keep a-changin', The world is a- the world's rearrangin', but enda, you're timeless to me. Headlines are shorter, a meter costs a quarter, but time is an attainment comes free. You're like a stinky old cheese, You're like a stinky old cheese, babe.

babe, Just getting riper with age. just gettin'right for whippin'. You're like a fatal disease, You're like a fatal disease, babe. babe. And there's no cure.

And there's no cure to this fever rage. So be arranged. Some folks can't stand it. Some folks can't stand it. Say time is a bad thing.

Say, time is a magnet. But I take the opposite view. Well, I take the opposite view. Well, But I need a lift.

I need a lift. Ooh, Time brings a dip. time brings a lift.

Another day with you. Another day with you. A twist or a waltz, A twist or a what? It's all the same schmaltz, it's all the same schmaltz But just a change in the scenery but just a change in machinery.

You'll never be your past, You'll never be old. past, Ha! past Ooh, That's that! you're timeless to me You're timeless to me!

Oh Wilbur! Fads keep a-changing and Castro's invading Fags keep the changing, and Castro's invading. And Wilbur, And Wilbur, you're timeless to me you're timeless to me. Character's are higher, Heritage are hided, mine feels like barbed wire mine feels like barbed wire. But you say that she's can be You're like a rare vintage ripple The Jews say I'm as cheap as can be.

You're like a rare vintage, crippled. A vintage they'll never forget A vintage down that earth. forget. So pour me a teeny weeny dribble So pour me a teeny weeny triple, And we can toast the fact we ain't dead yet and we can toast the back winged again.

I can't stop eating Your hairline's receding I can't stop eating. Your hairline's receding, And so there'll be nothing at all and soon there'll be nothing at all. So move by the wig, So you are your while I roast a pig, I roast a pig, and pass the chariot on. ask a chariot dog Glenn Miller had brass, When the little miller had the brass, the chubby checkers had gas And they all passed eventually the chubby gent was aghast, and they all passed eventually.

The never-be-past said, You'll never be... hooray, Already, you're timeless to me. you're timeless to me, Edna, and I'm the best with... dance with me.

Thank you. I bless you. Thank you.

Fuck it, Look at that, man. You still got one in your tank. Edna. Oh, God, what is this? I love it.

Watch that. I know. Watch this. You're like a broken down chavvy All you need is a fresh coat of paste And then you've got me going hot and heavy You're fat and old, but maybe more you ain't Some spots on that, but we never bread it Dirty nose that life's a friend And it's great to see that you're stuck with me until the winter ends And we got a kid who's growing a list of pretend-life family trees But you're stuck with me until the bitter end.

And we've got a kid who's going to live off the turn-black family tree. You always hit the spot You always hit the spot, Big shot! big shot. You're timeless You're always because you're more more You're timeless, too. You're always into your heart of war.

Oh, you're timeless. You're timeless, too. Oh You'll always be for a string. You'll always be for a string. Ring-a-ding-ding.

Ring-a-ding-ding! You're timeless to me. You're timeless to me. Yeah, And now let's take this upstairs.

now let's make this up. Stand. You're timeless to me.

You're timeless to me. Carry me. Oh Wilbur, You're timeless to me. carry me, you're timeless too I'm able to help you I'll help you.

You're timeless too You're timeless to me. I'm still hot to trot. The official outclasser And Wilbur, I'm still hot to try Yeah, you know, you're like the Hindenburg disaster I'm full of gas But it won't be forgot I'm full of gas.

We forgot Love takes a lickin'But we keep on tickin'We're just like the clock on the wall Yeah! This is our place of living, but we keep on taking it. We're just like the crime on the wall. Yeah, Our flakes never pop And on the day that we drop We'll catch you when you fall And we got a kid our streets never pop, and on the day that we drop, I'll get you when you fall.

And we got a kid who's gone, Who does what she did And we're as proud as proud can be she did And we're as proud as proud can be You're still my big affair You're still my big affair You're my bestie Yeah! Your time is You're rounding third base now You're my big affair You're my bestie Only now you're timeless to me I'll always I'll always call you home Shabbat Shalom Timeless to me Timeless to me You're timeless to me You're timeless to me Tracy! Tracy! Where are you?

Where are you? It's me, It's me, Link. Link!

Larkin, Larkin? from the show? From the show?

Link, Link, over here! over here! Shh, Shh!

The guard's asleep! the guard's asleep. Oh, Oh, Tracy, Tracy! you look beautiful behind bars. You look beautiful behind bars.

It must be the low-odd institutional lighting. It must be the low-life institutionalizing. Colby, Link, what are you doing here? what are you doing here? Tracy, Tracy, seeing you dragged off to jail brought me back to my senses.

seeing you dragged off to jail brought me back to my senses. I thought I'd lose it when I thought I lost you. I thought I'd lose it when I thought I lost you. I couldn't eat. I couldn't eat.

I couldn't sing. I couldn't sing. I couldn't even concentrate. I couldn't even concentrate. You couldn't eat?

You couldn't eat? No. No. I went down to the station to tell Miss Von Tussle I was through with the Hairspray broadcast.

So I went down to the station to tell Miss Von Tussle I was through with the Hairspray broadcast. You did? You did? I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. When I got down there, not down there.

I overheard Von Tussle and Spritzer talking. I overheard Von Tussle and Spritzer talking. Tracy, Tracy, it's Amber the talent scouts are after.

it's Amber the town scouts are after. It has nothing to do with... It has nothing to do with me. With me.

All this time I thought Amber and I were a team. All this time I thought Amber and I were a team. It turns out, Turns out, her and her mother were just using me to make her look popular.

her and her mother were just using me to make her look popular. I feel like such an idiot. I feel like such an idiot. That makes two of us. That makes two of us.

I know a palooka like me isn't worthy of a groundbreaking extremist like you, I know a palooka like me. isn't worthy of a groundbreaking extremist like you, but it's a little scuff from when Amber threw it in my face when I told her I'd rather be with you. but it's a little scuff from an Amber Thruitt in my face. I told her I'd rather be with you.

You did? You did? I did. I did.

So, So, would you consider wearing my ring? would you consider- wearing my ring? Would I? Would I?

Would I? Would I? To lose thee were to lose myself!

To lose thee, or to lose myself? Some kid named Milton, Some kid named Milton, running on the third floor boys room. running around the third floor boys room.

It's beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful! I have a good life. I have a good life!

Great parents, Great parents, my own room, my own room. stacks of Stacks of 45s, three sweaters, 45s. Three sweaters, and the burners from the Clifton Williams. and a learner's room, it could do all this. But you know what I was missing, But you know what I was missing, Link?

Lee? I think so. I think so. Oh, I don't know. Tracy, Tracy, they can keep us from kissing.

they keep us from kissing, They can't stop us from singing. but they can't stop us from singing. Once I was a selfish fool who never understood. Once I was a selfish fool who never understood.

Never looked inside myself Never looked inside myself, Though on the outside I looked good though on the outside I looked good. Then we met and you made me The man I am today Then we met and you made me the man I am today. Tracy, Tracy, I'm in love with you No matter what you weigh Cause without love Like this bloodless season We go summer Without love I'm in love with you no matter what you weigh. Cause without love, life is like a season with no summer. Without love.

Like this rock and roll Without a drummer Tracy, Like this rock and roll, out of trouble, Tracy, I'll be yours forever Cause I am a hungry Without love I'll be yours forever Cause I never wanna be without love Tracy, No, Tracy never set me free. never set me free No, No, I ain't lying. I'm lying.

Never set me free. Never set me free, Tracy. Tracy, no, No, no, no. no, Once I was a single girl.

no. Once I was a simple girl. I was so easy. But now I'm a simple girl. All the stars came to me.

And I was in love with a man who didn't disagree. Disagree, He was just a prisoner, your name was just a crazy tiny autograph before I didn't have a clue till you came banging on my door That you now love me like, signing autographs of war. I didn't have a clue till you came banging on my door That without love, life is like my dad Without his promo, just like my dad does Oh I never wanna be without love Life's like making out to Harry Potter Darling, without life's like me Without you, Harry, Coco, Garland, all the old brothers I never wanna be without love I'll be your brother I never wanna be without love I'm yours forever, I'm yours forever Throw away Yeah, throw away the money, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Penny Lou Pingleton, yeah Teddy, you're pink, kid You are absolutely, you are absolutely, positively, positively, permanently punished permanently punished This one is for being willful This one is for being willful This one is for being deceitful This one is for being deceitful This one is for being neglectful This one is for being neglectful And this one is for crying Wee, And this one is for crying Wee, wee wee, wee, Wee wee wee all the way home. all the way home Why is it every time you tie your daughter up The phone rings Why is it every time I tie your daughter up, the phone rings? Penny!

Seaweed, Seaweed! shh! Don't let my mother hear you!

Shh! Don't let my mother hear you. Penny, Penny, what happened?

what happened? She's punishing me for going to jail without her permission! She's punishing me for going to jail without her permission.

Well, that's what the rest of the last fan made us from her tower. Well, I've come to rescue my fair maiden from her tower! Oh, Oh, Seaweed, Seaweed, you do care! you do care. I was begi- I was beginning to think it was just a lonely teenager's forbidden fantasy.

to think it was just a lonely teenager's forbidden fantasy. See? Penny, Hey, when I first met you, when I first met you under the colors of our skin, I knew the colors of our skin could keep us apart.

couldn't keep us apart. But damn, But damn, these knots are something else. these knuckles are mouse.

Hurry, Hurry, seaweed! seaweed! Boy, you're making me a guest, Joe. You're all I'd love, a girl who's as beautiful as winter snow.

In my ivory tower, life was just a post-it stat. But now I've tasted chocolate, and I'm never going back. I'm not gonna be alone I'm not gonna be alone I'm not gonna be alone Life is touristy and me a part of your garden I'll be yours forever Cause I never wanna be Without love Oh no, I'm your brother, love set me free I'm your brother, love set me free No, never set me free I'm yours forever no, no If you're locked up in this prison tree You're locked up in this prison, Trace, I don't know what I'll do Please, I don't know what I'll do.

Link, I've got to break out so that I can get my hands on you. I've got to break out So that I can get my hands on you If the stars don't touch you Then I'm gonna lose control See me in my black tightness I've found my blue-eyed soul Break free of this puzzle Trace, Well, if I can't touch you, then I'm gonna lose control. Link, I've got to break out so that I can get my hands on you. Link, I've got to break out so that I can get my hands on you. Trace, I wanna kill you I'm gonna kiss you.

I can't wait for parole! Then I can't meet for parole. Oh, Link, Oh, Link, I've got to get out of here.

I've got to get out of here. Here, If only we had some hairspray and a Zippo lighter. Tronin had some hairspray and a Zippo lighter. I bet we could make an easy-bake oven kind of blowtorch.

Think that we could make an easy big oven kind of blowtorch. Well, Well, I have a lighter. I have a lighter.

And I've got some hairspray, And I've got some hairspray, too. too. Oh, Oh, what a great night. Link, what a great night. Your ring and our very own blowtorch.

Your ring and our very own blowtorch. Oh Tracy! Oh Tracy! Oh Link! Oh Ace!

Oh Stevie! Oh Stevie! Oh Penny! Oh Penny!

Oh my god! Oh my God! All the people in the house!

Colored people in the house! I'll never sell it now! I'll never sell it now! Without love Life is like a Boredom Without love Forgetting might be Break And we're in shyness Without love Life's a Boredom Without love I'd put my gun on the road with my love Without love I'm so afraid you might be breaking the marriage, I guess Without love Life's a 45 when you can't buy love Without love When you can't buy it, you have love. Without love Places like my mother on a diet Like a weed that's only munchin'Only ice cream, Life is like my mother on a diet.

Like a leaf that's only munching, only ice cream, never something. Like a circle in sensation, like a door, never sundae Like a circle with no center do not enter. I'll be on forever cause I never want to be. Like a door heart, So love, love, love, love. I'll be on forever cause I never want to be.

do not enter Darling, I'll be yours forever So love, love, love, love. I'll be on forever. Cause I never wanna I'm not happy without love I'm not happy without love You set me free I'm not happy without love I'm not happy without love Oh, see, you never set me free No, no, no I hate you You never set me free No, no, no You set me free No, No, no, no I live without you Darling, no, no, no, no I'm not happy without love I'm not happy without love Darling, you have to believe me You'll never leave me without love you have kept me free Never leave me without love It's a mess out there.

Good night for a jailbreak. Now it's on channel two. Elsewhere in local news, Elsewhere in local news, teenage TV personality and rabble-rouser Tracy Turnblad has escaped from the Baltimore Women's House of Detention.

teenage TV personality and rabble-rouser Tracy Turnblad has escaped from the Baltimore Women's House of Detention. Authorities believe she may have been aided by the once promising, Authorities believe she may have been aided by the once promising, formerly wholesome... formerly wholesome...

teen idol, Link Larkin. If cited, citizens are asked to notify police, citizens are asked to notify police or if phone service is not available simply shoot or if phone service is not available, simply shoot to kill. In entertainment news, Eva Marie is no same. saint. Lord, Lord have pity on this crazy Cindy.

have pity on this crazy city. Who's at the back door? Who's at the back door? Oh, Oh, my baby. my baby.

Mama. Mama. And And Penny, Penny, is it?

is it? Yes, Yes, ma'am. ma'am.

Mmm, See, Cindy's got a girlfriend. we've got a girlfriend. Mama, Mama, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, but I had to get her away from her crazy mama. but I had to get her away from her crazy mama.

Hush now, Hush now, don't explain, Tony. Explain. because I had an inkling about you two the first time I saw you dancing together. Because I had an inkling about you two the first time I saw you dancing together.

And you don't mind? And you don't mind? No, No, I never mind, I never mind, love, love, because that is a gift from above.

because that is a gift from above. From above. But not everyone remembers that, But not everyone remembers that, so you two, so you two, y'all better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly coming from a never-ending parade of stupid.

y'all better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly coming from a never-ending parade of stupid people. That's okay, That's okay, because my mom's going to kill me anyway. because my mom's going to kill me anyway. No, she'll kill him.

No, she'll kill him. Miss Motormouth, Miss Monomouth, we broke Tracy out of jail. we broke Tracy out of jail. We know it's been on all three channels. Here you know it's been on all three channels.

The jailbreak was easy compared to getting a cab to this side of town. The jailbreak was easy because they have to this side of town. Well, Well, now, now, we all gotta get busy. we all gotta get busy. Now it's less than 24 hours till Miss Hairspray, Now it's less than 24 hours till Miss Hairspray, and it's gonna be on national TV.

and it's gonna be on national TV. And we may never get another chance like this. And we may never get another chance like this. So this time, So this time, I'm gonna start by getting Corny and some of the studio guards to help us.

I'm gonna start by getting Corny and some of the studio guards to help us. And we can ask your dad. And we can ask your dad. He sometimes has ideas. He sometimes has ideas.

Right, Right, and I know a guy that can... and I know a guy that... No.

Um, I've gotta turn myself in and go back to jail. I'm gonna turn myself in and go back to jail. Say what? Say what? Tracy, Tracy, no. no.

We should've thought more before we broke out. We should have fought more before we broke out. I don't want you all to get in any more trouble. I don't want you all to get in any more trouble.

My dad could lose the hearty her hut. My dad could lose the Hardy Heart Hut. I'm like, When Link, you could go to prison for what you did to me. you could go to prison for what you did.

tonight. What are you going to do tonight? Just first base in the back of the cab, Just first face in the back of the cab, I swear.

I swear. Well, as far as I know, Smothermouth, I'm going to get arrested for a rape, we've already been on the news. I don't want you to get arrested for harboring a fugitive.

you two. When Penny, But, Kenny, your mother, your mother will kill you. will kill you.

No! No, she'll kill him. She'll kill him! Listen, I've already been to jail one time to back up the white girl. Listen, I've already been to jail one time for backing up the white girl.

Don't mind sitting this round out. Don't mind sitting this round out. Come on, Come on, Sarah. Cynthia.

I heard you. I heard you besides look we tried already and that didn't work. Besides, look, we tried already and that didn't work. Well, Well, the next time won't be like Mother Daughter Day.

the next time won't be like Mother Daughter Day. Mrs. Mrs. Von Tussle said there'll be armed guards at the studio. Von Tussle said there'll be armed guards at the studio. With arms! With arms!

That's if someone could get shot! You know what? Just for gaming on some old-face shi- Someone could get shot!

For what? Just for dancing on some old face show? So, Now hold on!

now hold on! Now no one ever said any of this was gonna be easy. Now, no one ever said any of this was gonna be easy. But if something's worth having, But if something's worth having, it's worth fighting for.

it's worth fighting for. Now, Now, Tracy, Tracy, why did you start all this in the first place? why did you start all this in the first place? Was it just so you could dance on TV?

Was it just so you could dance on TV? No. No.

Was it so you could get the boy? Was it so you could get the boy? No, No. and I almost lost him because of it.

And I almost lost him because of it. Was it just so you could get yourself famous? Was it just so you could get yourself famous? No.

No. I just think it's stupid we can't all dance on TV together. I just think it's stupid we can't all dance on TV together. Okay. Okay.

So you tried once, So you... You tried once and you failed. and you failed.

Well, Well, children, children, you are not the first to try, you are not the first to try and you won't be the last. and you won't be the last. Now, Now, I'm here to tell you I'm going to keep lining up until someday.

I'm here to tell you I'm going to keep lining up until someday somebody breaks through. Somebody breaks through Because I have been looking at that door Because I have been looking at that door a lot longer than you. A lot longer than you Toward the front door. Toward the front door A lot longer than you There's a light.

In the darkness, In the darkness, though the night is black as my skin, though the night is black as my skin, there's a light burning bright, there's a light, burning bright, showing me the way. showing me the way. But I know where I've been.

But I know where I've been There's a cry in the distance There's a cry in distance. It's a voice that comes from deep within. It's a voice that comes from deep within There's a cry asking why my brain can't serve again.

It's a cry asking for a great answer A great answer I know where I'm going There's no road we can travel I know, I know how to do it And I know, we've been trapped in it Lost so many, Lost so many, and on the way But the reaching is the only way to do it I look all the way But the riches of the present Worth the price, We're surprised, the price we had to pay There's a dream for future surprised, we had to pay. There's a dream, a struggle, A struggle that we had yet to win and a struggle that we have yet to win. But there's pride in my heart Cause I know where I'm going Yes I do And I know where I've been There's a road we must travel.

There's a promise we must make. We'll be back in a day, where the rich and the poor will be plenty, where the rich have the chance to have a day. We must make a decision.

There was a people in the church, There's a dream of a future And a struggle we have yet to win To use our pride and our heart and a struggle, we had to win. Use that pride, in our hearts. To lift up the new tomorrow I know where I'm going To resist fear What the...

I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it Well Hey! Brought to you by Ultra-Five Hair Spray! Tyler's got tattoos!

He's corny! Frosty's got a little girl's hairspray! Oh no!

Tyler, It's a girl! what gives a girl power and punch? Power and punch, is it charm, Is it charm?

is it poise, Is it toys? No, it's hairspray! is it strength?

What gets a guy, Hey, what gets a guy that stops at lunch and it rains? that's out to lunch, is it praise, Does it snow? is it dough, no it's strength! No, it's air-spray! When you take a ride with a can of Tristana, Take a ride with your fan at your side, it won't be gone with the wind.

We'll be gone with the wind. If you pray it in locket, It's the wind that keeps bringing it. it's a walk in the locket.

You can take off in a rocket and in aerospace, And in heaven's face, and there will be a place where you can dance with your family. there will be a place where I take a dance with you. And I'll be dancing with you. I can say, you use hairspray, I insist you use hairspray Then tell your mother Learn that you should smother With monster clutch Faithfully and tell your mother, her mother, your mother, your mother, Then she just goes a-look with all she's got, thankfully So it's your arrest So if you're a redneck, Of honor per net Thanks for everything a blonde, or a brunette Take fly and bison, you might just get A little bit better than hairspray That's what she means Forget the milkman, The only thing better than hairspray Forget the milkman The only thing better than hairspray That's me the only thing better than hairspray That's me! Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la Ah-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la The face of man Screams out in touch I'll tip-off!

Gold is your redneck, a blonde and brunette This is my device, and you might just get a taste It's only been better than the hairspray that's been used Yes, it is, it is, it is, wow! It's only been better than the hairspray that's been used Offer Network Commercial. Commercial. What the hell is that? What the hell is that?

Uh, The product placement. product placement. The sponsor insists.

Sponsor insists. Oh, Oh, thank God. thank God.

We needed something there. We needed something there. Oh, Oh, wait a minute.

wait a minute. Don't I know you? Don't I know you?

Come on, Espelma. I'm a total... I'm a fellow stranger. Stranger! You!

You! Guard, Go, riot squad, Riot Squad! I want everybody out of the lobby and up here pronto. I want everybody out of the lobby and up here pronto!

Ha! Huh, What is this, what is this, some kind of Trojan horse? some kind of Trojan horse? And let me guess, And let me guess, your jailbird daughter's inside. your jailbird daughter's inside?

Not a chance. Not a chance! Well, Well, if she's in the can, if she's in the can, she'll rot in that can. she'll rot in that can!

Guard, Guard, if anyone so much as touches that thing, if anyone so much as touches that thing, open fire. open fire! Understood, Understood, ma'am.

ma'am. You win this time, You win this time, Von Tussle! Bog Tussle.

You're one clever woman, You're one clever woman, I'll say that. I'll say that! Get him out of here! Get him out of here!

And we're back to court on camera one, And we're back to court. Camera one, five, five, four... And we're back to court!

four... And now it's time for the talent portion of the competition, And now it's time for the talent portion of the competition, where the frontrunner gals present a dance of their own creation. where the frontrunner gals present a dance of their own creation. Presently, Presently it appears that Amber Bog... it appears that Amber Von Tussle and Tracy Turnblad are tied neck and neck.

and Tussle and Tracy Turnblad are tied neck and neck. But since, But since according to the latest police bulletin, according to the latest police bulletin, Ms. Ms. Turnblad is still at large... Turnblad is still at large. At very large.

At very large! It appears that Miss Teenage Hairspray might just be a foregone conclusion. It appears that Ms. Teenage Care spray might just be a foregone conclusion.

Still, Still, the rules say you had to dance to win. the rules say you have to dance to win. Ready to rock on Easter party?

Tracy Turnblad, this song is all about you. They can't wait for Alan out of space. Oh, she's. She's hiding this and soon it landed on her face She's got cootie Cootie Eating found a fleece and nest She's got cootie Cootie If I were her I'd be the best Long tailed sharpness Hairy legs laying eggs Come on everybody let's kill them now She's got cootie Inside her car she's got some walking, Long tailed sharp nails, fairy legs, way to go Come on everybody, let's get with the rules She's a kooky, showing tales She's got cootie Emotions coming down the hall from this place firecracker, like the walk from Show and Tell She's the food you know she's coming down the hall from the hotel She's a kooky, She's got cootie Cootie Nobody wants to see my cootie that's her hair, nobody wants to see but her She's a kooky, She's a cootie kitty, don't need a coat, just a skirt.

that's her hair, don't need a coat cause she's that girl Circle, Circle, circle, dot, dot, dot, hurry get your cootie shot. circle, dot, dot, dot, fairy get your pretty shot That's her bright and such a fair one Dresses like a circus clown, body of a poster doll. And you are paying the duties of a dinner to turn my mind And that's for you Grew up in a zoo, be a better tooth tongue mama's got too.

And that's for you! Gentlemen and kids, I am now ready to consume the title of Miss Teenage Hair. I'm ready to consume the title of Miss Teenager! Not so fast Amber, Stop, stop, stop, not so fast, let's check the scoreboard.

let's check the scoreboard. Oh, but please, Can we please do the tower? see the top!

Yes! Amber Montessl just squeaked in as the winner! The contestant just squeaks in as the winner. What'd I tell you?

What did I tell you? Now give me the crowd, They give me the crown, give me the stash, give me the sash, and everybody start bowing! and everybody starts bowing! Not so fast, Not so fast, Amber! Oh yeah.

Amber! Look who's coming in the front door! Look who's coming in the front door!

I know who's coming! Right on the get-go! I'm the king!

I know one of them! I mean, I can sound like my plan! I know nothing about this complex!

Oh, you're the king! Ladies and gentlemen, What is this? I can hear the never-seeing sound of this crazy turntable! I don't like it, you can never stop Miss Tracy and her band You can't stop the avalanches that race us down the hill You can try to stop the seasons, You... Like the avalanches and races down the hill You can try to stop the seasons, girl, girl But you know you never will And you can try to stop my dancing feet But I just cannot stand still but you know you never will And you can try to stop my dancing, but I just can't not dance still.

And so I can't stand it. Cause the world keeps spinning around and around My heart's keeping time to speed us down Cause lost in the earth of the wrong And I've been gone away You can't stop me Ever since this whole world began And now that I'm, my heart keeps on trying to keep it up. But that's what hurts, I'm drunk. And I can't wait.

I'm going to run, I wish you shook it, shake it, shake up the band So long, go shake it, shake it, yes and I can today You can't stop the motion of the motion of the sun You can't stop the morning if you want it, but I'll never ask for it If you drop, oh, you've got to know the spirit of the day You can't stop the beat If you drop, oh, What do you have to say, you've got to know the spirit of the day Kenny? I am fortune You can't stop the river You can stop the river as it rushes to the sea You can try to stop the hands of time But you know it just won't be And if they try to stop the seaweed I'll call the air that will listen to me The world keeps spinning round and round And I'll watch you try to speed up now I'll try to find a choice And I'm on my way You can stop the wind As it rushes to the sea You can try to stop the hands of time But you know it just won't be And then you try to stop the speed I'll call the gas of Ever since we first saw the light And I know the lights are shaking on a Saturday night So I know the streets are shaming And I'm all in my life today You can't stop the motion I'll be watching all the rain from above You can try to stop the dance Dreaming of it together So go in the monster house and be my sister You can't stop the music This is my dance number Thanks for everyone Thanks for everyone Dreaming of, show me how to fly! I like it when you dance with me I like it when you dance with me You can't stop me Washed it up in ocean water Ripped from a fuzzy tribe I saw the parents Screaming all the time I saw the rhythm of the ice In his glasses and his bed America, take a look at this scoreboard because Tracy's German blood, I declare you missed Teenage Hairspray 1962! I declare you Miss Teenage Hairspray 1962!

It's just so wrong! Handle that halo, honey. That was just so wrong! You'll have to pry it from my cold, You have to pry it from Michael's dead pants! dead hands.

That'll work. That'll work. You can keep your stupid crown, Keep your stupid crown, Amber.

Amber. I've got my eyes set on something a lot more important. I've got my eyes set on something a lot more important. Are you talking about me? Are you talking about me?

Of course I'm talking about you, Of course I'm talking about you, Link! Link! But I also would like a graduate degree in musicology, But I also would like a graduate degree in musicology with a minor in ethnic studies. with a minor in ethnic studies. Oh, Oh, and I have something else to say too.

and I have something else to say too. The Corny Collins Show is now and forevermore officially integrated! The Corny Collins Show is now and forevermore officially integrated! That's right, America, That's right, look up, we're going to look up this is history in the making. this is history in the making.

Television will never be the same again. Television will never be the same again. This is marvelous!

This is marvelous! The phones are going crazy, The folks are going crazy, the whole country's watching. the whole country's watching. Even the governor called, Even the governor called, he's granted a pardon to Tracy, he's granted a pardon to Tracy, plus a full scholarship to Esquire.

plus a full scholarship to S.R. Essex Community College. Essex Community College.

You cannot buy this kind of publicity. You cannot buy this kind of publicity. Oh, Velma.

Oh, Bella. Velma, Bella, you're uncheated. you're our chief.

I am? I am? Yes, Yes, I am.

I am. Ultra Clutch is about to launch an entirely new line of products, Ultra Clutch is about to launch an entirely new line of products, and I want this woman to head the campaign. and I want this woman to head the campaign. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say.

It comes with offices, It comes with offices, a company car, a company car, and a multi-figured salary. and a multi-figured salary. I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say. Velma Von Tussle, Bella Montussel, you are the newly appointed vice president of Ultra Glow, you are the newly appointed vice president of Ultra Glow, beauty products for women of color. beauty products for women of color.

Yeah. I don't know what to say. I don't know what Just said.

And America would like to hear you two kids sing our new theme song. And America would like to hear you two kids sing our new theme song. I think I could get you a recording contract.

You're breaking your recording contract! My big break. My big break! Give me back my daughter.

Get me back my daughter! I know you've got her. I know you've got her, I saw it on TV.

I saw her on TV! Huh? Penny, Penny? I hardly recognized you all done up like that. I hardly recognized you all done up like that.

I'm a pretty girl, I'm a pretty girl, Mama. Mama. And you look so happy.

And you look so happy. Well, Well, I can't say it's what I want, I can't say it's what I want, but if this fine-looking, but if this fine-looking, cat-like black boy is responsible for the light in your eyes, cat-like black boy... then how can I object?

Then how can I object? Oh. Oh!

Oh... Oh, my God. Uh...

Live television, Live television, America. Erica. There's nothing like it! I don't like it. Tracy...

Trace, I know this may not be the right time, I know this may not be the right time. it being live television and all... It being live television and all. But, But, Trace, Trace, if I don't kiss you now, if I don't kiss you now, I may just bust a gut. I may just bust a gut.

Oh, well, Well, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself now, we wouldn't want you to hurt yourself now, would we? would we? That's my girl! That's my girl!

I don't like it. Before I... I get completely sick. completely sick. If Tracy came in the front door, If Tracy came in the front door, then what's in the can?

then what's in the can? My masterpiece! My masterpiece!

Excuse me, Would you give me a hand? would you give me a hand? Right away, Mr. Pink.

This may be the largest novelty item ever erected. This may be the largest novelty item ever! Fire!

fire! Oh! So, So, what did I miss? what did I miss? Help me out here, Help me out of here, boys.

boys. I have been stuck in that can since lunch, I have been stuck in that can since lunch, and I wouldn't rush right in there after me. and I wouldn't rush right in there after me. if I was you. Mama, look. We did it. We did it!

We're on national television. We're on national television! National television? We did it!

We're on national television! National television? National television? America.

America, I made this myself Can't stop my happiness Cause I like who and I am And you just can't stop my knife and fork When I see a Christmas ham And if you don't like the way I look Well, I just don't give a damn Cause the world keeps turning round and round And my heart keeps on to the speed of sound And I'm falling down, I'm on my way to Kansas City And as soon as the whole world begins I'm gonna have a easy time I'm gonna sing a jingle from the middle of the snow I'm gonna sing a shimmy with my best friend here today To Kansas City Oh, I'm a man of the world. I'm a man of the world. I'm a man of the world. she's got me going to the house I'm in the show Oh, you wanna run away from me I'm a man of the world.

Oh, I'm gonna sing in your high and clear To Kansas City Oxygen over oxygen Oxygen over oxygen. We have a story to tell Never stop, Oh! it's a butterfly We're gonna wrap this mother up Oh, What a cut, what a cut, wrap this mother up!

oh, oh, you can't stop today No! You can't stop the day, because it's beating down the track. You've got to be in that track Who's the track head?

We'll try again, stay in this street, but never count it back. Say it's busy Be gone! Never come in time Look ahead to tomorrow It's a brand new day And the next one's tomorrow, and the brand new day.

Go, Don't you want the last shot? go, go, go, go, go! I'm standing there in the crowd tonight, Yeah!

Keep spinning round and round Keep your mind to the speed of sound talking time to the street uptown. I heard a love song and I found my way You can't stop me Ever since you first saw me I've been a woman but you think it all Saturday night So I'm never shaking, shaking You can call the right thing day You can't stop me Oh, you're lucky but you'll never be the one Cause you try to stop a friend But you're really not But you can't stop the rhythm But you're fucking healthy You can't stop me Oh, you're lucky Ah, Try to stop the paradise, we're giving up what you can My suffering reminds me I'm taking love today You can't stop the beat