this is Julian and before we get to the next video on how to let go which is the big one that we've been building up to here so be sure to subscribe to be notified when it comes out I thought I'd make this video here to address the different ways most of us tend to go about handling painful emotions as I mentioned in the last video but a link to it here below in order to achieve happiness with a capital H you're going to have to let go of these emotions and this requires understanding the way you're currently going about handling them and then of course switching things up from there so the three ways most of us go about handling any kind of painful emotions are one we suppress them two we express them and three we try to escape them okay this is something David Hawkins talks about as well I'll put a link to the video I did here on his book letting go which I highly suggest watching as well but let's explore these individually okay so the first one is we suppress them and this is something that we all do on a daily basis okay whenever there's something that's a little unpleasant you know a painful emotion just you know a little aggravation instead of processing it we just stuff it okay and we do this consciously by suppressing it or unconsciously by repressing it and this is just a habit that we built and we're doing it every single day almost all the time okay you're a little stressed you're a little upset what are circles some common sayings walk it off suck it up toughen up that's the advice you get your frustrated sigh hey go walk it off you start walking it off what are you really doing okay stuff it down stuff down let's try to ignore this and let's try to just kind of function through it maybe suffer through it and function best we can let's not deal with this then you're frustrated again they're all through toughen up toughen up you can do this now we just stuff it and we're constantly doing this and guess what over time what happens these feelings accumulates and they form okay if you're familiar with what Eckhart Tolle calls your pain body okay you just keep stuffing them in your subconscious mind and most of us walk around with this huge reservoir of negative emotions just ready to express and this leads us to the second way most of us go about handling these painful emotions and that is we express them okay and usually this will happen when you know you just can't hold them down you can't stuff them you can't suppress them you can't repress them so what you do you vent and you've experienced this you just snap you know you may be okay with it for a while you're like you got this you got this and at some point it is so intolerable you explode you scream your vent you yell you salt I might be expressed in your body language and you think that by expressing it you might free yourself of these emotions and this is what people tell you hey you just got to let it out let it out okay I'll vent but what happens you let out the emotion and usually by letting it out you kind of intensify its energy and it propagates around you but what also happens is you just let out enough to keep the rest stuffed in and you might experience a temporary feeling of yeah I'm a little light feel a little bit better until something else happens something else happens and then you're at your limit again and you have to express okay now the third way is we try to escape it you experience that little aggravation a little tense and instead of just suppressing it like I'm gonna barrel through or expressing it you've escaped it okay you kind of just get lost in diversion entertainment you may drink seek any kind of external stimulus anything to distract you from realizing and acknowledging that it's there okay this is what drives us to do a lot of the frantic activities that were caught up in most people just can't slow down most people can't do nothing because as soon as they do nothing what happens they're forced to acknowledge that painful emotion they've been running away from that painful emotion they've been fleeing from that painful emotionally been trying to escape okay and most of us kind of design our lives around this where you finish work as soon as you go home well you turn on the television you turn on your computer you're you know waiting for a friend to meet you somewhere he's a little late she's a little late you pull out your cell phone it's always distraction distraction distraction let's try to escape it by drinking let's try to escape it through sex that's another way people get hooked and addicted to sex or addicted to masturbation or to escape those painful emotions you know and obviously this doesn't work you may escape them temporarily but usually whatever method you're trying to use to escape them you'll get addicted to that okay and then that will add extra negative emotions including guilt say you're masturbating every time you're trying to escape it after a while you're gonna be masturbating and you know you're doing it to escape it and there's just extra guilt and then you're trying to run away from that okay there is no winning and you may get that temporary okay dirty hi of escaping that emotion but at some point you'll have to come back down to reality and deal with it and usually the way you'll deal with it is you're suppressive or expresses okay so there is no winning here these three ways simply are not effective okay what I'm suggesting here is adding a fourth way and that is just letting those painful emotions go okay and we're going to discuss this in the next video so again be sure to subscribe to be notified when it comes out this is really the big one and this too is just a natural ability okay there's nothing really special about letting go it's not some magical trick it's just not something you're used to doing okay we're so used to again suppressing expressing or escaping that we just never sat down and thought maybe there's another way to deal with these maybe we can let go of these emotions maybe we can release them maybe we can process them and not be weighed down by them okay so let me know what you think of this video in the comments here below I read every single comment and once again be sure to subscribe the next one is the big one we've been building up to I hope you're ready I hope you're excited until next time