we could blame burnout laziness or even the current mental health roller coaster we all seem to be on regardless of what's to blame the term quiet quitting has become more and more prevalent as the year drags on the term quiet quitting was coined to explain the phenomenon where instead of actually quitting many people have stopped doing anything extra and do the bare minimum at work this could look like us not speaking up as much during meetings skipping non-mandatory events or not volunteering to take on a new project today I want to examine more than quiet quitting at work I want to talk about whether or not we're quiet quitting in life are we just going through the motions are we feeling unfulfilled have a lack of purpose or Direction those are just a few of the very concerning themes that I've been picking up on when speaking with friends and members of our community consider that prior to the Advent of radio and television most people went about their day without seeing how the majority of others lived they knew their local community and possibly compare themselves to people that they encountered in person they heard about new products via word of mouth or newspaper ads between 1920 and 1950 radio and television's popularity grew rapidly in most homes and people were exposed to a very powerful medium that could not only tell you that give you a window into other people's lives more important what advertisers wanted you to think a successful life looked like after the second world war the amount of disposable income for most Americans jumped dramatically this powerful combination of new marketing tools radio and television and disposable income catapulted the us into an era of hyper commercialism more than ever we were keeping up with the Joneses we saw people with large homes in the suburbs nice cars and perfect clothes fast forward to today a new powerful tool has emerged in the form of social media where we can see and compare Our Lives to everyone in the world now let's try a group exercise take your phone out and just check how many hours you spend each day on Instagram or tick tock now consider what content you're consuming are you seeing other people's lives people who cook better vacation better dress better Etc we can start to feel like we don't really have a happy or good life and we need to get what they have Theodore Roosevelt said comparison is the thief of joy and that remains a valid notion for compelling reasons engaging in self-comparisons frequently results in a sense of insufficiency and discontentment our attention shifts towards our shortcomings instead of our blessings ultimately fostering a feeling of dissatisfaction with the course of Our Lives last year I wrote down that quote comparison is a thief of Joy on a post note and I put it on my desk and I use it as a reminder every day count your blessings not your shortcomings clever marketers create a feeling of need by making us think that we'll be happier or look more successful with their product that's what motivates us to make a purchase we buy things that don't really make us feel better in the long term but we do end up making new purchases to keep getting that dopamine hit the end result is that we're chasing happiness and we can think when I finally lose the weight I can be happy or when I'm able to buy that home then I'll be happy research proves that people who chase happiness are more unhappy than those who don't pursue it directly I believe that if we think we have to keep looking for happiness we don't acknowledge its presence in our life right now in effect we're focusing on the lack of instead of recognizing the happiness which may already be present this misplaced attention is a significant part of what's wrong with our society by hyper focusing on specific aspects of Happiness the new car weight loss vacations mostly driven by comparison ultimately nothing feels good or rewarding to us in enter quiet quitting why do anything fully when nothing is rewarding enough let's take a step back and do an exercise together this is from the workbook that I did called the artist Way by Julia Cameron I love this book it's really helpful but this exercise is called life pie and it works like this so get out a piece of paper get a pen draw a circle divide it into six pieces of pie label one piece spirituality another exercise another play and so on with work friends and romance slash Adventure place a dot in each slice at the degree to which you are fulfilled in that area putting a doll all the way to the outer rim of your circle indicates great you're doing great in that area of your life towards the Inner Circle not so great connect the dots this will show you where you're lopsided as you begin this course she's talking about her workbook it is not uncommon for your life pie to look like a tarantula as recovery progresses your tarantula may become a mandala working with this tool you will notice that there are areas of your life that feel impoverished On and On which you spend little or no time use the time tidbits that you're finding to alter this I encourage you to repeat this exercise every few months and check in like Julia says the chart will hopefully move out of its tarantula-like state and into more of a mandala recently I've noticed how often people use key terms but don't take the time to Define them for ourselves so let's take a minute and reflect on the term success what does success look like to you how do you define it when you think of success do you see yourself in the picture or do you see things that need to be purchased if you want to work towards something we're going to have to know what it is exactly that we're fighting for and this kind of relates to Maslow's hierarchy of needs which were proposed by an American psychologist Abram Maslow in his 1943 paper a theory of human motivation it's made up of five levels of needs now each level must be attained before we can move on to the next like we have to lay our foundation now although he never placed these needs into a pyramid that's the most common way that you're going to see this Theory shared so number one our first layer is at the bottom of our pyramid and that is physiological needs think of things like shelter food water sleep air number two is safety needs like Health security moving on the third level is love and belonging which is a sense of connection intimacy relationships fourth is esteem needs examples of these are things like accomplishments and recognition self-esteem and freedom these four levels are what Maslow called our deficiency or D needs and this means that if there's a deficiency in any of those levels all of our focus and motivation will be on getting those needs met he further believed that there may not be physical symptoms that someone is lacking in one of those levels but they themselves will feel tense and anxious until they're able to get those needs met okay so that's the bottom four now the final level level five is called self-actualization and this is when we achieve our fullest potential we are the best that we can be and this last level is also known as a bean or a B need now I bring up this model because it's a great representation of why focusing on only one portion of our life isn't going to make us happy we have to meet all our needs now I know that can seem overwhelming but fortunately there are some simple ways to start working on it today what I want to propose isn't a solution but a step in the right direction something like this takes upkeep and checking in with ourselves when we start to feel like nothing is Meaningful anymore instead of waiting until we want to quiet quit everything in our life my hope is that we can get better in noticing the imbalance more quickly here are my two tips to stop us from quiet quitting in life let's go back to that first exercise where we made the circle and we broke it into six parts set a reminder in your calendar to repeat that exercise every two months it only takes about a half an hour and it gets easier over time if you find one area lacking make a plan to spend five to ten minutes doing something that satisfies that segment of your life it doesn't have to be a big time or energy commitment either it's more about the regularity of it so make sure you keep up with it consistently is it adding in a weekly walk for 30 minutes is it reading a book that you've been putting off perhaps it's potting a new plant and nurturing it whatever it is that brings you incremental Joy I want you to find it and purposely incorporate that into your life because small changes add up to Big results my second tip is to figure out what your non-negotiables are non-negotiables are things that you need to have in your life in order for you to feel fulfilled examples of this could be making time for friends eating well exercise journaling or whatever you know that makes you feel good place these non-negotiables in your calendar commit to them just like you would any other meeting or appointment these aren't negotiable we can't cancel them or move them with ease we can't keep putting our needs last in giving ourselves just the scraps in effect we should pay ourselves first know that I struggle with this just as much as anyone else and I'm going to do my best to start working on this stuff too so let's hold each other accountable I'll be revisiting this topic in a few months to check in with you so bookmark this video and come back to it each month just to check in see where you're at and how you're doing with making those changes it will take time but trust me you're worth it