whenever you feel sad or mad or nervous or out of control what I want you to do is just write it down and then ask yourself a series of questions um and I have I have this cute diagram of the different types of ants and I always ask my patients so which which are your ants are they like All or Nothing ants were you thinking words like always never everyone every time are they less than ants given to us by social media where we compare ourselves to others in a negative way guilt beating ants mindreading ants fortune telling ants blame ants um so identify the type do you have a example of a bad thought that just sort of runs around your head oh gosh um I think I live in a permanent state of assuming I'm going to get bad bad news and it doesn't haunt me I think I'm generally quite a calm person and quite focused and peaceful in my brain but I think because I've ran companies for the last 10 years or longer you're always just about to get bad news so I think that can be that can be playing on the radio in the background somewhere like I'm going to open an email and it's going to be bad news there's so many opportunities for bad news in my world so yeah yeah so I think you write it down this is going to be bad and then my friend Byron Katie has this process that I've refined a bit so that's a fortune telling ant right and so this is going to be bad news or I always get bad news fortune telling and all or nothing and so the first question is is it true right the second question is it absolutely true with 100% certainty and if one is no two is automatically no the third question is how does that thought Make Me Feel on edge on edge how does the thought make me act so the third question has three parts how does the thought make me feel tense on edge how does it make me act uh removed uh what's that word is it apathetic reticent yeah yeah yeah and the third part of that what's the outcome of believing it's always going to be bad news I mean there's no good outcome really suffering yeah suffering yeah the fourth question is how would you feel if you didn't have that thought free and how would you act uh happier and uh more present and the outcome of not having that thought better relationships life because you're more present yeah yeah and then the fifth question so the first one is is it true the second one is it absolutely true the third one how would I how do I feel act and what's the outcome of having this thought the fourth question is how what I feel act and what's the outcome not having the thought the fifth question is my favorite just take the thought and turn it to the opposite and then ask yourself is that true so it's going to be good news or it's G to be innocuous news and then go yeah 99 times out of 100 that's true and then I would because I'm also a CEO I'm like well how many of these things can't I handle virtually none of them I can handle all of them right so I'll be okay and then I meditate on the opposite of the thought that's bothering me and so I take these thoughts captive I like that and people who are depressed are infested with negativity but you can train that your brain is healthy it's easier to do you can train that but you imagine there's no second grade class in the world where teachers teach children not to believe every stupid thing they think in fact I was watching one of the confirmation hearings today and the senators were filled with ants oh yeah they were distorting things they were angry they were making things more negative than they needed to be we are model bad thinking and the News does it purposefully because they know if they piss you off if they scare you you're going to tune in so they can sell you more copper underwear so we're in a society that breeds these ant attacks so you have to be careful people who watch the news in the morning are 27% less happy in the afternoon and so you have to guard what goes in so every day you're programming happiness or sadness and I believe Dennis Prager has this great five minute video called why be happy and I love it so much I wrote a book called you happier and I start with his idea that happiness is a moral obligation and I'm like so I grew up not too far from here I went to Catholic School my mom was very serious about being Catholic and growing up the idea happiness is a moral obligation was nowhere in my childhood and I had a good childhood why is it a moral obligation because of how you impact other people if you were raised by an unhappy parent or married to an unhappy spouse or raising an unhappy child and you ask those people is happiness an ethical issue they would all say yes so is it wrong to program your mind to look for what's right it's hard for some people it's just a pattern right yeah it's like getting biceps are hard but it's it's not right it's just repeatedly doing the same thing that gives you the desire you want have you seen someone shift from being a stereotyp typically negative person down and out negative depressed to the opposite yes truly the opposite a lot but you got to do the process it's you you got to do the work when you love yourself you do the work like I come from a family of fat people but I'm not why because I know it's a risk for me and so every day of my life I'm on an obesity prevention plan and I wish I didn't have to be right I wish I could just eat anything I want and it would be okay but it's not the reality of my life are we recording 87% of people don't subscribe on the clips Channel yeah Taking Liberties what just coming for free and then bouncing what 87% 90% of people on the clips Channel don't subscribe what it says here so I've been doing all this for free you've been consuming all these clips for free listen can we we'll make a deal um I'm really going to make these clips amazing and you're in the clips algorithm on our show so can I ask a favor please can you hit the Subscribe button if you've watched more than one before how how about that if 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