👑

The Unkempt History of English Royals

Apr 7, 2025

Notes on "The Rotten Royals of Old England"

Introduction

  • Sponsored by Magellan TV for historical documentaries.
    • Recommended documentary: Royal Britain: An Aerial History of the Monarchy.
    • Magellan TV offers a wide range of historical content, including ancient civilizations and modern times.
    • Over 3,000 documentaries available, including 4K options.
    • Special offers for new and returning members.

Overview of Historical Monarchs

  • Contrast between modern and medieval monarchs.
    • Modern royals: cultured, educated, sophisticated.
    • Historical monarchs: crude, brash, with disgusting habits.

Notable Historical Figures

William the Conqueror

  • First Norman King of England; crowned on Christmas Day 1066.
  • Known for:
    • Short temper and extraordinary fits of rage.
    • Overindulgence in food and drink, leading to obesity.
    • Died after falling from his horse, with disastrous funeral due to decaying body.

Edward III

  • Ascended the throne at age 14; puppet of mother and lover.
  • Known for:
    • Poor hygiene: filthy fingernails and dirty reading habits.
    • Led England into the Hundred Years' War with France.

Henry VII and Henry VIII

  • The Tudor dynasty known for messy habits.

  • Henry VII:

    • Created the Privy Chamber to manage royal quarters.
    • Groom of the Stool: responsible for the king's bodily excrement and cleanliness.
  • Henry VIII's first Groom of the Stool, Sir William Compton:

    • Held significant power and wealth due to close relationship with the king.
    • Managed various royal tasks unrelated to bodily functions.
  • Henry Norris (Groom of the Stool):

    • Executed for alleged conspiracy and adultery with Anne Boleyn.

Elizabeth I

  • Reigned from 1558 to 1603; known for her poor hygiene.
  • Rumored to bathe infrequently (only four times a year).
  • Overindulgence in sugar led to rotten teeth and bad breath.
  • Used lead-based makeup which could cause poisoning.
  • Displayed a temper; known to react aggressively to courtiers.

James I

  • First Stuart King; had similar hygiene issues.
  • Rarely bathed, resulting in body odor and constant itching.
  • Changed clothes only when they were worn out.
  • Known for picking his nose and other unhygienic habits.

Conclusion

  • Generational patterns of poor hygiene and rudeness among English monarchs.
  • Historical accounts reveal the less-than-glamorous reality of royal life.