Notes on "The Rotten Royals of Old England"

Introduction

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Overview of Historical Monarchs

• Contrast between modern and medieval monarchs.
  • Modern royals: cultured, educated, sophisticated.
  • Historical monarchs: crude, brash, with disgusting habits.

Notable Historical Figures

William the Conqueror

• First Norman King of England; crowned on Christmas Day 1066.
• Known for:
  • Short temper and extraordinary fits of rage.
  • Overindulgence in food and drink, leading to obesity.
  • Died after falling from his horse, with disastrous funeral due to decaying body.

Edward III

• Ascended the throne at age 14; puppet of mother and lover.
• Known for:
  • Poor hygiene: filthy fingernails and dirty reading habits.
  • Led England into the Hundred Years' War with France.

Henry VII and Henry VIII

• The Tudor dynasty known for messy habits.

• Henry VII:

  • Created the Privy Chamber to manage royal quarters.
  • Groom of the Stool: responsible for the king's bodily excrement and cleanliness.

• Henry VIII's first Groom of the Stool, Sir William Compton:

  • Held significant power and wealth due to close relationship with the king.
  • Managed various royal tasks unrelated to bodily functions.

• Henry Norris (Groom of the Stool):

  • Executed for alleged conspiracy and adultery with Anne Boleyn.

Elizabeth I

• Reigned from 1558 to 1603; known for her poor hygiene.
• Rumored to bathe infrequently (only four times a year).
• Overindulgence in sugar led to rotten teeth and bad breath.
• Used lead-based makeup which could cause poisoning.
• Displayed a temper; known to react aggressively to courtiers.

James I

• First Stuart King; had similar hygiene issues.
• Rarely bathed, resulting in body odor and constant itching.
• Changed clothes only when they were worn out.
• Known for picking his nose and other unhygienic habits.

Conclusion

• Generational patterns of poor hygiene and rudeness among English monarchs.
• Historical accounts reveal the less-than-glamorous reality of royal life.