you have to conquer your emotions and your desires or they will conquer you it's very hard to conquer yourself even though we are born with ourselves and we know ourselves better than anyone it's very hard to conquer yourself because most people don't even know where to start you are such a broad thing it's very vast it's very vague at points you just don't know where to start but you really have to sit down quiet your mind and really think what am I doing that I'm not happy with do I have control over this nine times out of 10 it is for example um let's say um let's say I was very lustful it's like okay self what am I not happy with it's like I'm very lustful and it ruin relationships with certain people and things like that and it's like can I control that absolutely so what should I do about that I need to desexualize my brain I need to do this I need to do that right we have to stop giving our control to our thoughts and our feelings because we are the ones that are observing these thoughts and feelings your feelings and thoughts aren't you they're totally separate things and when you learn to separate yourself from your thoughts and feelings then you can start to control yourself so many people you know that are very lustful they ruin relationships with people because they are just they just come off too strong you know their sexual energy is not able to be tained we are n we are naturally sexual we supposed to be like this but you have to be able to control your desires you need that self-control that self-control comes from discipline and once you develop a discipline so strong you won't need self-control I can walk into a room full of this and that and not indulge because I have discipline I don't have to you know hold myself down like oh no no I don't want anyone you know to bring anything to me because I can't I don't need that I'm disciplined and I know myself and I'm not moving off that path right some people get around uh let's say dudes for example they are overly sexual lustful you know and they get around girls and girls will open up to them and be vulnerable but they will find a way to use that opportunity to sway them into some type of sexual interaction a girl would vent to them and they just waiting like oh let me let me use her weaknesses to you know do that and you got to be able to control yourself because that's not genuine I've actually been around a girl one time and she was talking and we was just vibing we had a you know a nice little time and she was like Sheron you know many people think you're gay right and I'm like what I'm like what makes you say that and she was like because you're just not like other dudes and I'm like you going to have to come with more than that like you you just lost me that makes no sense and she was like well every boy I've been with every boy I've you know been around they've all tried to touch me like I I I haven't been able to sit around a dude for 10 minutes without them trying to touch me and you know it's just it's just different like why won't you touch me I'm like for one why do you want my validation so much but it's like that's sad for it to not for it to be so socially rare for a man to not be able to sit around a woman and behave himself and not want sexual desires from them or you know any sexual activity that he has to be thought of as gay or not attracted to women is very sad to me I thought that was very sad but very profound I was like okay you still got some more cookies like this is this is ridiculous right but so many people fall into their desires and their emotions and they become controlled by them that's why you keep relapsing you keep allowing these thoughts and these emotions and these feelings and these hormones that just take over your body but you have to stop giving your control to things right I actually have this little um thing I want to show y'all real quick give me one second let me show you something real quick all right so this right here I call it the eternal love and self-control mural so all these things right here are things that the last girl I was with gave me and you know things we collected like we made clay pots all that alcohol and stuff I I got that and I put it here because I don't drink um she was the one who inspired me to put the flowers in the bottle um you know I kept everything she's ever given to me and it's more stuff than this but handwritten letters the first bracelet she gave to me goggles we use um she made that for me stereo she gave me for my birthday and things like that um just a very significant thing she painted that for me but I'm going to explain to y'all why I call it that and the meaning behind it he let me set this back up for y'all and make sure the camera is clean okay so the meaning behind that is that all those things on that dresser right have had access to many people's emotions whether it be alcohol alcohol whether it be Memorial you know symbolic things however you want to put it all those things have brought out emotion good bad and ugly out of people right we we go crazy over the people we are in Love with You Got Drugs you got everything on there right so I look at it for one I when I love my love doesn't stop I would never throw those things away as long as that stuff can stay there you you know natural disaster whatever as long as it's there it's there I'm not throwing that away that is a part of me right and many people don't have the strength to walk past something like that every day without being with a person that that's just the way some people are built a lot of people can't sit around alcohol and go through things and not indulge in it but the reason why it's called it the eternal love and self-control mural is because I'm attached to things or I've had attachment to those things but I can walk by them and not indulge in them and I mean that indulge physically and mentally those things don't hurt me to walk past because I've dealt with myself and I can control myself she painted me a picture that's up there right and I I will keep those things forever many people go through their breakups and they delete pictures and they got to get rid of this and get rid of that but that's part of you you know what I'm saying you got to be able to stand around all these things and not indulge in them now on your journey to recovery I absolutely agree that you should um get rid of access like if you're a drug adct get away from drugs but you want to build that strength up to where you could sit in a room full of drugs and never indulge I've been out to bars I've been out to parties I've seen crazy things right but I've never indulged I always wanted to be in my right mind I've always wanted to get everybody home including myself you know what I'm saying I always wanted to be safe and I never wanted my brain chemistry to be altered so I never indulged when I was growing up I told people I would never smoke and I would never drink and I never did now people think that I smoke because of my eyes always red my eyes get irritated very easily and they get very red and they're very tired right now probably look high right now but I've never indulged in these things and they always would tell me Well you going to get to high school somebody going to get you to do it somebody going to get you to do it got to high school it didn't happen when when you get out of high school somebody going to get you to do it no one has got me to do it because I'm disciplined to myself it's not a lifelong achievement like I'm not going to piss on you if you indulge in these things every we all got our own vices right we all got our own vices there's things I've done that I'm not proud of and you know what I'm saying I'm not saying you not proud of your vices but you know what I'm saying to each is their own but that's just a personal record I want to hold up and no one's going to you know influence that upon me if I wanted to do it one day it would totally be my decision but I'm just making a reference because that's the self-control I have lust controls you take back your control anger controls you take back a control you get mad at people they are controlling you but you you wor you always complain about not having control in your life but you give all your control away when you can literally there's there's only one thing you can control in this life and that is your decisions so you should hone in on it control your decisions be more conscious of what you're doing and live the best possible possible life that you can or the best life possible you I don't know if that you know click right but you you can you are more powerful than you know you really are and another point that I wanted to make back to that mural is that everything in this life does not deserve a reaction everything thing that people say doesn't deserve a reaction every thought that comes into your head doesn't deserve a reaction if you're scrolling on social media and you're going to run past this on your journey to clean up right someone might ask you hey bro you want some drugs or hey bro you know what I'm saying you might be scrolling on social media see a half naked girl might trigger you you don't have to react to that you can scroll right past it or make a mental note like yep that's exactly what I need to get off here and delete social media but but we are so caught up in life that we think just because someone says something to us that we don't like we have to give them a reaction just because someone comes off a certain way that that we have to give them reaction just because someone says something just because a thought comes into your head that you have to entertain it but you don't you really don't and the longer you stay on that Journey the more you'll realize that the things that you should react to the things that you should entertain or the things that are good for you right when you get that feeling go do something exercise it when you don't feel like doing it do it anyway right control what you can control and control yourself conquer yourself because when you learn to do that no one can take anything away from you and there is nothing like being able to control yourself your emotions and your desires and just becoming one with yourself there's nothing like it there's literally nothing like it because you then then you finally are not a slave to your mind and your desires you own them you have taken back the control and it makes your life a whole lot better I've been on you know each side of the fence enslaved to thoughts and desires and you know now owning them if I choose to indulge in something it's completely my choice and if I choose not to I'm done with it you know what I'm saying so I love y'all and um take back your control and if y'all want to y'all want to see um a little unboxing cuz I got some boots that I just ordered some of my uh favorite boots if y'all want to see if y'all want to if y'all want to stay and watch it then that'll be cool you know what I'm saying it's my this will be my first reaction to him also yeah got some cowboy boots cuz I'm a cowboy and see see the thing is when when you get in Boots like this you got to be a person of purpose right and a person of purpose is not enslaved by their thoughts and their desires so I had to conquer myself to earn these boots right here you understand what I'm saying and y'all going to see exactly why I had to conquer my myself to earn these boots cuzz these ain't no regular boots baby these ain't no regular boots that's them snakes python I appreciate you for staying man damn oh yeah I'm about to put a mile on these but uh like I said man control yourself you got this I got you we got this we good I love you and I will talk to you soon all right give me some I'll see you in a minute