Lecture Notes: Speaking Better in the Moment

Introduction

• Importance of introducing oneself and making small talk
• Key focus: How to think faster and talk smarter in spontaneous situations
• Common challenges: Awkwardness and discomfort in spontaneous speaking

Purpose of the Lecture

• Discuss methodology developed for spontaneous speaking
• Background: Observations from Stanford MBA students struggling with cold calls in class
• Approach based on psychology, anthropology, sociology, improvisation, and neuroscience

Six-Step Methodology

1. Manage Anxiety

• Many experience anxiety in high-stake speaking situations (85% of people)
• Need to manage both symptoms and sources of anxiety
  • Symptoms: Physiological responses (blushing, sweating, dry mouth, etc.)
  • Sources: Triggers that exacerbate anxiety (e.g., fear of negative outcomes)
• Strategies to manage symptoms:
  • Deep Belly Breathing: Exhale longer than inhale to calm nerves
  • Stay Hydrated: Drink warm water or chew gum to combat dry mouth
  • Use Cold Packs: Hold cold objects to reduce sweating

2. Maximize Mediocrity

• Embrace imperfection to avoid self-judgment while speaking
• Evaluating oneself while speaking reduces cognitive bandwidth
• Permission to speak without striving for perfection improves performance

3. Reframe Threats as Opportunities

• Shift perspective on spontaneous speaking from threat to opportunity
• Exercise: "Give a Gift" to illustrate spontaneity and acceptance
• Improv principles: Embrace the "Yes, and" mindset
  • Identify common ground in conversations to foster connection

4. Listen Deeply

• Importance of focused listening in spontaneous speaking
• Strategies for improved listening:
  • Pace, Space, Grace: Slow down, create physical and mental space, give grace to self and others
  • Paraphrasing: Repeat back the essence of what someone said and ask clarifying questions

Messaging: Structuring Responses

5. Structure

• Organize thoughts to aid clarity and retention
• Recommended structures for response:
  • Problem-Solution-Benefit: Define an issue, present a solution, explain benefits
  • What-So What-Now What: State your idea, explain its importance, outline next steps
• Good structure keeps audience engaged and focused

6. Focus

• Stay concise and relevant during spontaneous communication
• Define a goal for every communication: Information, Emotion, Action
• Use simple sentence starters for clarity during pitches: "What if you could..."

Additional Resources

• Podcast: "Think Fast, Talk Smart" – focuses on communication skills
• Book: "Think Faster, Talk Smarter" – strategies for effective communication
• Key to improvement: Repetition, Reflection, Feedback
  • Practice regularly, reflect on experiences, seek constructive feedback

Conclusion

• Importance of developing skills for spontaneous speaking
• Continuous practice and self-improvement are vital for effective communication.