[Music] hey psych2goers welcome back to our channel ever felt like someone instantly made you feel important some people instantly make us feel special and light up a room just by walking into it so how come we can't always define it but some people have it they are naturally charismatic charisma has fascinated social scientists for decades thanks to their research we now know that charisma is less an inborn set of traits but is also something that everyone can develop by practicing a few key behaviors until they become habitual so here are eight surprising habits that make somebody charismatic 1. they choose their words carefully do you ever stop to think about your words before you say them taking the time to think about how your words impact the attitude of others shows that you care and are personable in an ideal world we all want to associate with happy enthusiastic and fulfilled people the words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves and make you feel better about yourself too number two they encourage self-disclosure why do people enjoy conversing with charismatic leaders because they ask insightful questions that guide others towards sharing things about themselves harvard researchers studied how sharing information about yourself impacts your brain the research demonstrated that greater neural activity was shown by the participants in the areas of the brain associated with reward and pleasure this confirmed that our brains are wired to enjoy sharing information about ourselves number three they radiate warmth ever feel yourself being drawn to certain people because they feel warm charismatic people are often described as being warm and approachable research has shown that when people perceive you to be warm they're more likely to trust you and embrace your ideas charisma can be built by making eye contact and flashing a smile and researchers know why studies have shown that smiling is linked to our ideas about how approachable and competent someone is who knew number four they may crack intelligent jokes ever had a co-worker friend or family member crack a joke when you feel under the weather charismatic people will do this to lighten up your mood charismatic people are unlikely to crack an offensive or core stroke that some people might find distasteful or even repulsive but instead we'll opt for a joke that tantalizes your intelligence or that distracts us away from any negative feelings we may have speaking of jokes do you know what the photon said when the bellhop asked about his luggage he said no i'm traveling light number five they know how to steal the limelight ever find yourself fully engaged in a conversation or discussion with someone do they always seem to have a spotlight floating about them chances are that this person is possibly a charismatic individual generally charismatic individuals will talk about gripping and interesting things that are instantly able to draw the attention of everyone present in the room they're able to come up with intriguing conversations that are able to challenge and involve everyone number six they believe in themselves ever feel like you have no idea what you're doing and that you're questioning your ability it's not uncommon to doubt yourself and your abilities once in a while psychologists have given it a name imposter syndrome this syndrome has the ability to kill charisma this is not to say that charismatic individuals don't experience anxieties and fears but they don't allow them to sabotage their interactions number seven they readily admit their own failings owning up to your mistakes sure is difficult right in order to be charismatic there has to exist a level of humility where you can share experiences that haven't gone well for you and what you've learned humans respond better to other people who share those lessons with others to reassure them that it's okay to make mistakes and number eight they rarely lose their temper there are some individuals who are unable to keep their cool when things go slightly wrong this can be frustrating especially when you care about something this does not suggest that charismatic people do not have a temper but they're more able to think on their feet and easily come up with solutions to problems that may come their way they're more able to regulate their emotions and channel frustrations in other ways perhaps the most surprising thing about charisma is that it's really about others the secret to becoming charismatic is less about you and more about how you make others feel but remember that everybody is unique and charisma is not the only thing that makes you who you are so always remember to be kind to yourself too did any of these describe you or someone you know leave a comment down below about your encounters with charismatics if you'd like please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well if you found this video helpful be sure to share it with those out there trying their hand at charisma don't forget to subscribe to psyc2go and hit the notification bell for more new videos and as always thanks for watching