Transcript for:
Self-Assessment and Attraction Dynamics

ask everyone to rate their looks on a scale of 1 to 10 you can't pick seven starting with you go ahead I would give myself a realistic [Laughter] 6.5 my rude Andrew [Laughter] okay oh wait I I wasn't muted I'm [Music] sorry yeah dude we could hear we we heard that Andrew oh I'm sorry about that man we could see you too I was laughing at something my chat said if you don't agree with my 6.5 that's okay that's your opinion what about you um I've been working on my body and like going to the gym every day eating healthy so I'd say a 9 10 because I want to get there I'm like I I feel confident in myself that's why I say that I'm not everyone's like 10 or nine or eight but I get it you know how long you been sober uh almost three years oh okay that's and I work you know I eat he so I'm like I feel confident in myself and like where my body's at and everything where before I would have looked in the mirror instead of zero so 10 nine cuz I'm I want to I'm still working on getting where exactly where I want also I want to have the chat rate you on something chat rate her voice on a scale of 1 to 10 cuz I think a lot of guys kind of like the more raspy I I practiced it for music cuz oh you you practiced the raspy voice six years ago and it kind of you know like that uh the Elvis movie where he just like kept that voice that's kind of like what happened to me I don't know I've seen I I've had like some videos in shows where girls will have a bit more of a raspy voice a lot of guys really like the raspy voice so I'm curious uh so what is it one in the chat how about just I don't know do you guys prefer raspy I don't know whatever uh what about you um I rate myself a 10 always because I look better and better every single day regardless of what happens and I need to always think that of myself 10 eight on a great day um I don't want to come off vain but I also don't want to feed into that question cuz I feel like he likes to just see women like either degrade themselves or look arrogant so I just going to leave that to God wait who's who's he whoever Stifler is oh stif Stifler Steven stiff Steven Stiffler Stiffler yeah but I think I'm beautiful inside and out um so 10 I wouldn't say 10 that's kind of vain but I'm not going to rate myself CU I don't like that question if if you did like the question though do you have what would you oh my god do you have a number in your head that you know is an answer no I don't is it a 10 but you don't want to sound arant she doesn't want to sound an arrogant no I really don't I really just I really just don't know the purpose of asking that question I think it has some like malice behind it and I don't really appreciate it so I don't want to feed into it okay I'll get back to that in a sec Mia what about you I'd write myself an eight and a half okay like Morgan Ava um I said six last time I would do seven maybe if we were allowed said you can't do seven I I said I would if it it was but it's not so okay all right there you go I give myself a five Andrew what about you four all right uh I need to get up for a sec Andrew do you have any inquis do you have an inquisition Inquisition what the [ __ ] an inquisition I do have an inquisition or two if you begin your inquiry sir go ahead yeah uh so I I was going to ask you um I'm sorry I wasn't able to catch everybody's name because I'm a little late to the broadcast the gal with pink hair what' you say your name was star star it's nice to meet you star uh I understand why you don't want to rate yourself because um you find it to be like a a trick question uh but it's really not a trick question I feel like if I can explain to you why this question is asked you'll be far more likely to answer it so the reason the reason that this question is asked is because it's our belief that many many women actually judge each other the second they sit down at the table the second they sit down at the table with other women and if we can get a full camera view of the room real quick um can you raise your hand if if this is correct that you have either experienced this or done it yourself which is okay you've got in a room with other women and you immediately yeah rate rate their looks yeah yeah yep right so because we know that this is true because that is the number one most common answer we feel like when we ask this question to you guys you don't actually want to hurt any of the other gals feelings who might be there and so you answer perhaps dishonestly even though we know the chances are pretty good that you've already been comparing yourself to probably every other woman who's sitting at that table so that's what the purpose of the question is not really a trick it's just to kind of assess which gals are going to be honest with us and which ones are not going to be honest with us that's really what the point of it is oh does that make sense I think that's your point but I don't think that was Stifler's point I think that a lot of guys that watch this have an animosity towards women and they want us to rate ourselves to look like a fool or something either to look arrogant or to look overconfident or to degrade ourselves and how can you look like a fool if you tell the truth I just don't think raing myself is something I owe Stifler well you don't it to him no but um you can you can understand that it seems like kind of foolish to me to say well me telling the truth is going to make me look foolish I mean that's not going to make you look foolish right the more honest you are with your answer the less foolish you're going to look in fact you can even play it against Stiffler and uh you know give yourself a rating which is more of an assessment of what you actually think uh and that'll that'll probably actually the jokes on him then right well just doing social media I just don't respond to comments that I don't want to and I don't want to respond to his comment cuz he seems weird okay well let me ask you a different question who would you say from your own personal opinion is the prettiest girl sitting at the table the prettiest girl sitting at the table mhm I don't know what's the point of you asking that because I think well then let me ask you let me ask you a different question then between myself and Brian which one do you think is better looking damn bro why you why you got I mean none of you guys are my type so I don't really see you that way I just I mean that's fine we can both be ugly that's I mean that's perfectly acceptable I do like white guys but just 21 year olds Maybe Christian yeah yeah yeah no that's that's totally fair he's an Orthodox Christian yeah but the the the point of the question is just to assess uh you know like from from your own subjective opinion yes we're not your type maybe we're both once that's totally acceptable too right not going to hurt our feelings I promise even that comment there just gave me like bad vibes I just know the vibe I know the energy behind and I don't feed into negative energy like that what what's the negative energy intuitively it's not good I think it's variance it's uh trying to be argumentative or something I don't think is good for my spirit I think if you answer the question it would have been easier and it would have been as argumentative I think it's more argumentative that you keep on dragging it along and saying I don't want to answer you could just answer you just you could give an honest or fake answer vain or not you could just give an answer when he asked um who's the prettiest I saw you look around first right I'm curious like you looked around so I was like and then you said you don't want to answer like after you looked around at all of us that's right I just don't understand why I can't not answer like I don't owe you can not answer and you don't owe anything and nobody's saying you owe anybody anything nobody's saying You must answer the reason that we're wondering why you won't is just simple this I just want the simple reasoning is it just because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings I no because answering the question wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings okay are you prettier than the girl in chair one that would be the one directly ACR from PR than anybody it's it's simply because I just think that the reason he asked it is because not prettier than anybody at the table you really think that no I'm saying that I don't like look I'm not comparing myself like that oh like I'm not over here like sizing everyone up like I'm prettier than this person it's just that it's simply cuz I don't like his his question why are you asking me to rape myself if any guy asked me that I wouldn't answer it okay I mean I can't I can't force you to answer it just seems very disingenuous right I genuinely don't want to answer it and you genuinely don't have I won't oh there was something I totally missed it [ __ ] uh ah well if it comes to me I'll try to remember it well kind of related to this going around the table we asked this kind of as a follow-up question and just to give a bit of context because you're asking like why do people ask these kind of questions why does it matter I definitely think like how you self-evaluate yourself is really important when it comes to dating so that's and obviously looks is really important when it comes to dating so combine looks and then self-evaluation that's going to dictate what you think you deserve in the dating Marketplace it's going to dictate what kind of partner you can get what kind of you know things you can ask for your standards those sort of things um so that's kind of one of the reasons why I think Stiffler and definitely not the whatever podcast asks it that's definitely why Stiffler definitely asks it definitely not ever the whatever podcast but going around the table do you think you will be better looking in 10 years time as compared to now starting with you um in 10 years I would be 38 and I hope just keep getting better and better so yeah mhm okay uh what about in 20 years time um I've seen it like I've seen some women online and in person who I know and they age like fine wine I think they just get better and better looking so I think it's possible okay what about uh 30 years time um to a certain group maybe yes to a certain group maybe no I don't know in 30 years it's um it depends on I guess what you value in regards to like dating and and Beauty Because by the time I'm like 60 uh it's going to be a interesting dating pool and dating Market I guess so who I think I want to try to frame this a little differently tonight so when it comes to a the heterosexual dating Marketplace um who are the appraisers of physical attraction what do you mean so okay do you think that looks are important when it comes to dating yeah I think that they play a factor and you date men right yes and do you think men care a lot a little medium amount about looks I think they care I think they care about looks uh generally pretty high I think there's other factors that come into play besides just looks and so the question reframed is then at what age do you think of the the entire population of men do you think you will have the most amount of men attracted to you currently at 28 38 48 58 68 uh because you said you would be better looking at 58 so then would it stand to reason that the vast majority the majority of men would find you at your most attractive at 58 I would say majority probably wouldn't because I guess the majority of men we're thinking about are looking maybe to get married and have children and at that age I wouldn't be seen as desirable to men who are interested in doing that but maybe to people who like your sound Gils they would be into it mhm so it depends on the guy I guess okay um and then because I just one other point of clarification so when we're asking this question we're not saying that women can't be attractive at 38 48 Beyond Etc we're just asking compared to now like yourself will you be more attractive 10 years time 20 years time 30 years time Etc um so far I feel like I've gotten more attractive as I age so maybe not my Peak at 38 but I think maybe like 32 I'll probably be the most attractive in my own opinion got it and then are you more attractive now at 28 than you were at 18 I would say yes okay all right what about you uh you're 20 do you think you will be more attractive at 30 than you are now my mom is the most beautiful person I know in ch age like Vine wi even my friends are like hitting on her so I think took some mil pretty much not for me though but obviously but also how old's your mom she's 57 she's older my grand my parents wait your your like 20-year-old male friends are hitting on your mom my my actual porn star friend he's hitting on my grandma who's 90 uh 86 mil Gil what and my grandma hits on him back by the way what that's crazy she wanted she asked for a video of his porn so basically my oh my God she goes yeah it just keeps popping up on my phone now bro yeah but yeah disgusting I can't believe you even said that on YouTube you see you just said on YouTube a I'm sorry to the world please don't listen to this I'm sorry for her I'll pray for hurt basically my whole family is beautiful so I feel like I'm going to age good okay uh so uh better looking at 30 then no I'm just saying I'll look good at 30 stop it get some help I'm just saying I'll look good at 30 am I not making sense you gave that am making that whole like buildup no I mean I the buildup is just like I know I'm going to be hot like for the rest of my life but like I'm peeking right now I feel like oh okay yeah cuz the question is just will you be better looking in 10 years time I'm you'll still be attractive but you're saying now is like the peak what it's Prime Time prime time it gets worse from prime time at Arby's I that didn't make sense they have the me I don't know yeah there you go # all right what about you you're 20 do you think you'll be better looking in 10 years time yes 20 years time at 40 compared to 20 maybe cuz yeah you're 20 so better looking at 30 better looking at 40 better looking at 30 yes but 40 maybe maybe what did you say last time I said yes okay 50 maybe 60 I don't know it's just because my family they age like fat in like like f yes like why would you say yes no like what I mean is that like my family they started to get all like depressed and like it's just scary like they they let go of themselves in a way of not even just physical appearance but mental and it's just like I don't know I hope I don't look we'll skip Madison because we've heard her answer a million times uh star what about you I don't know it's possible you're uh 26 right yeah yeah I mean I get better looking every year I don't know when it'll stop do you think uh you'll be better looking at 36 than you are now at 26 um possibly cuz maybe I'll be more fit and work out more cuz I don't really work out a lot right now what about in 10 years time another 10 years time so 20 years uh 46 as compared to now at 26 I mean realistically no okay and then do you think you're better looking at 18 as compared to now no so better looking now okay Mia I think I will definitely look very attractive when I'm older but I think as of right now this is my Peak okay so better looking at 32 or no I think I'll definitely be very attractive I think I'll age well but I don't think it'll be better looking at 32 sure um so I think it was just you and you that said better looking in 10 20 30 years time or also star just for the 10 years though um I think like 5 years time not maybe not 10 that's when you you'll peek in 5 years around that oh I see okay okay um interesting interesting answers are you going to look better in 10 years no it's downhill from here huh actually I mean there there can be arguments that can be made I don't fully buy into like the whole like across the board men age like that whole men age like fine wine I think there's differences between men and women there's definitely differences when you look at actual they've done studies and they'll have like women across all ages appraise men of various ages and you have men of all ages appraise women of all ages women do have a tendency to like find men around their age a little bit older as the most attractive as they get older whereas men it tends to stay pretty static throughout their entire lives in terms of what they find most physic attractive I think they typically put it between like 20 and 22 I like older men so I think guys just get more attractive yeah yeah like 50 cut off but you know what like but I mean there's plenty of guys who also don't people do let themselves go but like if you're a fit like you know Equinox like 48y old you're my type like I think I was better looking when I I'm 35 I was better looking when I was 25 to be honest even if I was like the exact same weight I'm pretty confident and I was better looking I think I think you can make yourself as attractive as you want like your goals can you yeah I genuinely think that not like plastic surgery I think if somebody works out and gets the type of body they want their confidence goes with their style I think confidence is key to look attractive it's the way you walk it's the way you talk it's the way you dress in my opinion I think everyone's attractive but they just have to put the effort in like anyone could be successful too I don't really feel like arguing that but I think there's just some people that are kind of doomed yeah I I do agree with that that's fair doomed doomed anyways it's not really worth arguing that one but um did you have more of any more inquiry Andrew did you want to inquire I think that that is worth arguing a little bit right so um confident and ugly is still ugly true I'm saying if you put in the work to be attractive you can't be like the grossest looking person and have confidence I think confidence and effort go together hand inand to get that attractiveness like if anyone here like I'm not saying anyone's B I'm saying if anyone here wanted to like completely get just like ripped at the gym and like dress better like you could get there yeah but if we assess this if we if we assess relationships I think inside of a relationship the most common answer that I hear is the attractiveness the physical attractiveness has to be there right the both both parties have to be physically attracted to the other party they have to if there's no if they're not attracted to them they don't have any interest in them whatsoever right so that that has to be there so you could say confidence is uh is key to making yourself more attractive I don't even disagree but I think that it is mitigated by your physical characteristics more than anything else so I think that your attractiveness is going to be your physical characteristics that's going to be the primary and then other kind of like subsets like maybe um a good sense of humor confidence level things like that I think that those matter but to a way lesser degree would you agree with that I think everybody has a different type I think confidence is attractive and I like you know different features than you might like and everyone else likes so when but hang on hang on let me let me stop real quick we'll just back up a little bit I'm not disputing that everybody's going to have different tastes they're all going to have different preferences this kind of thing some men like and like blondes blah blah blah blah blah I agree with that however there are beauty standards and characteristics uh which we can all agree we all pretty much want so here let me give you an example raise your hand at the table if you would like to increase your weight you can raise it no nothing no yeah just maybe Madison right uh so one out of all of you so clear you must think that thinner is more attractive right mhm that's what I'm saying and this these are like universals though and and if these are universals then there has to be some things that we're all basically agreeing on when it comes to physical characteristics I think it depends on who you're asking because there is like that little subgroup online that's interested in larger women but I'm not disputing that yeah so I'm not disputing that there's going to be outliers to this I'm not disputing that there's not going to be talking about like there's some guy out there who wants a a double burn victim who has her tongue hanging out through her teeth and a hunch on her back I'm sure that that guy exists somewhere on this planet okay but I'm not talking or speaking to him I'm speaking to just kind of generally what people find attractive in other people so while I can say I think that men definitely prefer uh blondes or brunettes I think that they still prefer them to be on the thinner side with a with a curvy waist and big boobs I think that they can there's like going to be some universals there right that's what I'm saying is you could get there like not all the time but most of the time you can work out and get that skinny body like you you earn those things is what I'm getting at like you're not born and you're not destined to have these things you could change these characteristics if you want to be brown have brown hair you dye your hair brown if you want to be fit you go to the gym you eat healthy that's what I'm getting at is you can ch muing that I'm just saying how much of that does confidence play into and I'm not confident that it plays into a lot so I would say that a person for instance the hang on hang on let me finish my point I would say on the person's side where let's say that they're not very confident a man is not very confident but he has very chiseled features he's tall and he makes a lot of money that women will still find him more attractive than they will a short bald guy who uh who's fat I think I was hanging out with a guy that was perfectly my type um but he was so he was he was like also a crier he was also like oh my God I'm fat I need to lose weight and it was so unattractive to me and he was like my yeah I know but you were hanging out with him right I we stopped hanging out because he thought you were hanging out with him right up until he got so but you were hanging out with him which means the physical characteristics trumped at least for a Time the Personality yeah but it was unattractive to me how he acted sure I'm not saying that it couldn't that there couldn't be things very attractive people to which are so annoying that it will drive you away from them I'm just saying that the key quality that we're looking for seemingly is there has to be some sort of Attraction so even if this guy was super annoying and you ditched him you were still with him right you were still with him for at least some length of time based on the fact that like you said he was totally your type right that's valid I mean yeah I but yeah I'm saying the confidence would have made him more attractive yeah I'm sure I'm sure it would have but to what degree if you to what degree because the thing the reason you were with him is because of these other characteristics besides that thing right yeah I'm I'm yeah I think the way you talk the way you walk if you go around thinking you're the baddest in the room I think that's attractive maybe that's you know just me mhm and I think that being confident in yourselves gives you this like more outgoing vibe to you that like changes your perspective and I'm saying that goes along with how you look I know we're talking about looks here I think it goes along with looks because if you're confident you stand up you look taller if you're confident you go outside more and dress like in more flattering clothes like that fit you better rather than a big hoodie that hides your body if you're confident that means you probably have better mental health and you're actively working on how you look confidency can be described in many different ways like there's very ugly who are very very confident right perhaps they have some skill set or something like this which drives the ego up and the confidence up who knows right yeah but but ultimately I'm not disagreeing that confidence is not or an attribute that women would want I'm sure that it is I'm just saying that initially there still has to be the physical attractiveness for you to even give him a shot to even learn what his personality is to know if he's confident correct yeah so I'm thinking I so I think on the category scale here then we're still looking for physical attractiveness first that has to be present I think in regards to like dating apps and men dating in general um on both ends with the confidence part I think that you would have to have enough confidence in yourself to even get on the app or to go out and try to date so I think that confidence plays a factor in just your availability on the market in general cuz if you're constantly thinking oh I'm not good enough or oh I'm not going to even try to date then you're kind of limiting yourself to the opportunity to get out there and date so well I think like even for myself you can better your looks I think you do have to have some sort of internal confidence to even get to the point of dating yeah but I think that that's tangential so the thing is is um Let me let me give you an example of what I mean let's assume for a second that you could only pick between two guys and these are the only two who are available you're on a desert okay one one is 5'2 he's bald he's short and he's fat guy two is 6 foot2 he has abs full head of hair right and uh you know the colored eyes that you like uh which guy would you pick and oh by the way first guy short bold fat guy super confident guy to he's a little shy I would need to know more about them than their physical appearance and if they're shy it on a desert I just want to get with the attractive guy I just don't want to like hear him talk I'll walk away and find water right exactly and I think that that's a that's an honest answer right I think the honest you're right on that aspect I think the honest answer is hey look I'd much rather be with the attractive shy guy I don't have to deal with a [ __ ] right I would still physically prefer him and that needs to be present right I think we're on the same page I think what I'm getting at is confidence plays a factor and it's not the full thing I agree with you it's not everything I just think it does play a huge factor in how you value yourself and who you go for I wonder how much it plays because I think I think it does play Factor I'm not I'm not mitigating that right but let's say this is the other reason we use this kind of like point scale system 1 to 10 right so I think if you're a five as a guy and you're super confident and you do a lot of work on your body to make it physically attractive you could maybe bump that up two points you know maybe and that's really trying everything maybe you could bump it up two points I think that um for women going from a four to you know a six or a seven that's really just a matter of losing some weight generally and that's really it doesn't take much more than that right it doesn't take much more than that so I I still think that physically attractive men the pool of them is much smaller from what women consider to be physically attractive than the other way around meaning um what women find physically attractive in men I like fat men sometimes I like a fat Daddy what was that guy who you beat up was he fat he used to be fat that's when we were together he lost weight and then yeah that's you beat him up yeah to be able to run away from you yeah he was running away yeah H interesting uh we have a chat here from Killa of seral Maddie can I have you read it time takes a toll on us all an objective reality of how biology works you've seen those time lapse videos of decomposing roadkill right would you rather eat a rotten apple or fresh one what I have seen those time lapses [Music] um appreciate it good to see you in the chat kill of cereal from Noah in my experience the more money you make the less a man's look matter to looks matter to women h x word yeah but then this brings up the question of is she there for you or is she there for your wallet right that's that's where the this is where the kind of decisive conversation comes in people have bad motives like I don't think it I think it makes you more attractive because your wallet's attractive not cuz you're attractive right I agree exactly do you think that's maybe why like you also like older guys is there is there actually but hold on is there actually anything wrong with women being attracted to men who are wealthy it's a different kind of attractiveness like I obviously but isn't that it the of the nature okay if you ask the same question of the bald guy and the tall guy the bald guy has um uh $6 million the bald guy or the attractive guy that he said has like $10 I'm still going to go for the more attractive guy that's true like especially on especially if you're stred on an island just you three that money means nothing so I'm going that's not really that's really not really the conversation so let's assume like women are attracted to the money sure I don't know I don't know if there's actually anything wrong with that I think there's something wrong with it if it's not packaged together well like if you are an 18-year-old woman and you're going to date a 70-year-old man because he has millions of dollars I think that that's a little little messy however in my experience of dating men who do have comfortable incomes it's not just because of the comfortable income that just plays one factor in the entire like pie chart of attractiveness now just to be clear I would hope women care about more than just the money but I mean it would seem like in the same way that a lot of men are going to see like a really stunning beautiful woman and like that will be the basis of their entire attraction myON donated $200 all women are gold diggers some are just better at hiding the shovel is that actually my thank you appreciate probably not I would say thank you this is why I would say if you're if you're a man I was thinking about this the other night if you're a man out there and you really wanted to test this you just want to see is she with me because of my money or she with me because she actually likes me I would pull the Coming to America thing and and i' would go get like a ratty apartment beat up apartment and I would present myself as not you can still present yourself as looking sharp this kind of thing but I'd present myself as not having very much money that's how I would test her I would just see you know what I mean that's that's what I would do then you know are you with me for for the money or you're not with me for the money that's why I think guys who make Bank like millionaires should take a chick to like McDonald's or just have like split split the check oh hell yeah I don't know but uh like I I guess going back to my statement uh I don't like if women become more attracted to a guy because he's wealthy and ambitious and successful and has a great I don't know like what's actually wrong with that certainly I I hope that she will care about more things than just purely that but I I don't see anything wrong with it in terms of it actually being an attraction trigger there's women wrong I don't think there's I think you should definitely like them for their insides but seeing if a guy has but like if that brings up his value like yeah I want to that's usually what they like you guys for for the insides the insides yeah but uh what's it called um yeah I think uh I don't know where I'm going with this anyways uh what's the next thing the next react we have to do you were well you were kind of looking at me funny when I said that like you thought I was way off way off base there with the uh yeah acting as though you have no money well well here's my rationale for this oh I I wasn't looking no I wasn't looking at you I was just making faces in general oh okay well the rationale is the mo the most successful married couples that I know started off poor together oh and when they when the dude ended up with money later on in life he knew for sure that the woman was with him specifically because of him and he knew that because he didn't have [ __ ] and she was with him when he didn't have [ __ ] so that's how he knows right so I just think it seems like a pretty good test