all right truth time there's an elephant in the room and it has to do with refeeding in recovery and that's my friends is bloating this is an uncomfortable topic to talk about because it has to do with body image during recovery from an eating disorder we're working on accepting our new body and learning to love it you know we're overcoming body dysmorphia and real talk we're working on weight restoration and frankly bloating makes progress in those departments rather difficult you know my biggest fear during my own weight restoration process was that I was gonna wake up one morning and just be massive you know I was afraid that my body would just balloon out of control and there was so much anxiety about that all elusive weight range and I actually journaled a lot about it at inpatient quote I'm nervous and weary of how my body will be at the end of my stay at inpatient I'm scared that if it changes to a point beyond where I'm comfortable that when I get home I will be depressed and unhappy lord please give me the strength courage and endurance to get through today I know you will protect me from anything that scares me end quote so let's have some real talk then about bloating and spoiler alert it happens during recovery so during your eating disorder you've been in a state of starvation your body has been feeding off of its own muscles I mean that's why you become skeletal because your muscles are literally deteriorating in order to keep you alive but here's what we so often forget your organs are muscles too so they deteriorate and shut down also all in an effort to keep you alive I mean that's why your menstrual cycle stops because your reproductive organs have failed you're cold all the time because your circulatory system is shutting down you can't sleep because the adrenal and hormonal levels are off because they're shutting down and in your digestive system and metabolism are slowed to a halt your organs are literally wasting away day by day to keep you alive and that's why girls die from anorexia because your heart is a muscle - and it shuts down I mean let that sink in one in ten people die from eating disorders it's nothing to joke about but what does all of that have to do with bloating well since your body has been in a state of starvation during your eating disorder it doesn't trust you to nourish it so when you finally do begin to feed it again it still thinks you're going to deprive it in the future so it holds on to the nutrients I mean just think of a caveman or a prehistoric animal they would stock up when they could because they never knew when a famine would hit or when they would have to hibernate for the winter I mean that's what your body is doing it just thinks that it just thinks that it's in this period of a temporary feast and that it should hold on to all those nutrients because you're heading into another famine so in an act of self-preservation your body insulates the most vital organs first again in an effort to keep you alive and where might you ask are those vital organs located around the trunk of your body your heart your lungs your liver etc so it initially stores the nutrients around your midsection but before you start panicking like oh my goodness it's true my worst fear is actually a reality I'm gonna get fat pause breathe no you're not after a few weeks of getting consistent calories and adequate rest and restoration your body will begin to trust you again to nourish it and then it will redistribute evenly and you will fill out beautifully and in all the right places I promise but here's the kicker in order to beat the bloat you have to keep eating you have to keep nourishing your body with adequate nutrients and sufficient calories consistently or your body will stay in that starvation mode and hold on to every nutrient that you consume and this is very hard for a lot of girls in recovery and it's the moment where the rubber meets the road and your recovery is tested your perseverance and your will to fight will be tested will you keep going or will you fall back into old habits because of poor body image will you continue to banish edie to the fires of hell or will you let him creep back into your mind because you're scared of a temporary bloating phase I mean this this is where the true warriors rise to the top this is where you become gold refined by fire finally I'll leave you with a few tips that I found helpful dealing with my own bloating during recovery first wear loose comfortable clothing this really goes without saying but tight clothing is very triggering in recovery stick with clothes that give you room to breathe yoga pants hoodies t-shirts the stretch here the better next avoid a mirrors again this is something that's intuitive but scrutinizing your body in the mirror is not going to make the process any easier in fact just the opposite your body is blooming into the woman you are meant to be trust the process learn to love yourself next take a gentle walk and this can be tricky as a lot of women and girls abuse exercise as a way to purge calories but I'm not talking about a power walk here I'm talking about a gentle stroll something that will help take your mind off of a bloated and triggering tummy take a walk in your backyard and take pictures of flowers or take a stroll through the park and look up the different plants on your phone as you mosey along just be outside surround yourself in the beauty that God created and remember that you are also his creation and are covered in his fingerprints next drink water another aspect of bloating is that your body is holding on to excess water otherwise known as edema it's counterintuitive but the more water you drink the less your body will hold on to next be with supportive people it is so important to surround yourself with supportive people in your recovery you need people by your side who lifts you up and support you in your recovery not bring you down next do well on the truth this is last and most important to keep your mind focused on the truth otherwise Edie will find a way back into your head and this time he'll bring seven friends with them so remain centered on the truth so those were just some of the thoughts I found helpful in recovery hang in there sweet girl bloating comes with the territory and it's only temporary you are doing the right thing you are sticking with recovery nourishing your body and learning to love yourself the bloating will pass keep doing the right thing one day at a time one meal at a time I believe in you alright that's it for today thank you so much for watching if you've enjoyed this video or found it helpful please give it a big thumbs up and hit that red subscribe button thanks again for watching and I'll see you in the next one