Key Lessons from "Getting to Yes" by William Ury and Roger Fisher

Overview

• Negotiation is not about winning or losing.
• The goal is to find a solution that satisfies both parties without damaging the relationship.
• Focus on interests and mutual benefits rather than positions.

Key Concepts

Focus on Interests, Not Positions

• Positions are clear but interests can be hidden and vague.
• Example: Two men arguing in a library about a window.
• Strategy: Ask "Why?" to understand underlying interests.
• Show understanding and communicate your interests clearly.

Use Fair Standards

• Use objective criteria to resolve conflicts.
• Example: Cake division using fair standards.
• Strategy: Refer to unbiased rules or criteria (e.g., market prices, legal requirements).
• Work with the other side to establish fair standards before starting negotiations.

Invent Options for Mutual Gain

• Encourage creative solutions that satisfy both parties.
• Example: Two kids fighting over an orange; understanding their different needs.
• Strategy: Brainstorm possible solutions without judgment initially.
• Differences can lead to creative solutions.

Separate the People from the Problem

• Treat the person and the problem as separate entities.
• Strategy: Be soft on the person but hard on the problem.
• Build relationships before negotiating to ease future interactions.

Handling Difficult Situations

Dealing with Dirty Tactics

• Recognize and neutralize tricks by mentioning them.
• Avoid personal attacks; focus on the problem.

When the Other Side is More Powerful

• Develop a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement).
• A strong BATNA increases your negotiating power.

If They Attack You Personally

• Use "Negotiation Jujitsu" to sidestep attacks.
• Ask for their viewpoint and invite criticism to understand their interests.

Conclusion

• Negotiation is about collaboration, not competition.
• The goal is to find win-win solutions that satisfy both parties' interests.

Example Story

• An anecdote of playing frisbee in London highlights that asking "Who's winning?" misses the point of negotiation, which is about working together.

• The book and lecture promote working towards solutions that satisfy all interests involved instead of competing against one another.