-Sir... [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] [ Cheers and applause ] Kindly -- Kindly move seats. [ Laughter ] -She's talking to you. -Oh, I'm sorry. Me? -Okay, everyone, thanks for coming to this mandatory HR meeting. -Let's make some noise! -O...kay. Let's start with workplace relationships. Generally, we discourage it, but, of course, it happens, so we have a few rules. -Yes, like, you can ask a co-worker out once, but if they say no, you cannot ask them again. -So, wait. Question. I can ask anyone out one time? -I guess technically, yes. -Sweet. Laurel, will you go out with me? -Uh, no. -So that's it, then? Like, that door is closed until it resets at the end of the year? -No. It doesn't reset. -Okay. I think I understand. I can't ask Laurel out again, which means I have to move on to my second choice. Carly, will you go out with me? -Don't love that you called me your second choice, but sure. -See, this is interesting, because I don't want to go out with Carly. So can I take that "yes" and bank it and use it on Laurel? -There's no banking it. It's not a game show. -Excuse me. I have a query. -Okay, Eric, what is it? -Are we allowed to ask women if they are ticklish? -No. -Oh, so you're saying I can just go ahead and try? Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle! -Eric, cut your nails! -No! -Another question. So, we all know Clark is gay, right? -Nope. Only told you. -Well, now that we all know Clark is gay, which I'm personally fine with, but since Clark is never going to ask a woman out due to his condition, does that mean I can buy Clark's asks? -Sure, 20 bucks a pop. -Great. Here's, uh... It's like $1,500. -Why do you have so much cash on you? -'Cause I go to the strip club at lunch. -That's where I know you from. -Okay, you guys work together. -Laurel, I love you. I think you're smoking hot. Will you go out with me? -Still no. -Ah! Back to silver. Carly. -I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes. -See? That's what I don't like about you. You want it too much. Okay, I'm just going to bank Carly's yes. Is that cool with everybody? -Yeah. Works for me. -Okay. -No, no. No banking yeses. -Um, yeah, well, we have a query. -Okay, why are you all using the word "query"? -Well, me and Robert have been secretly hooking up for five months. Is it bad that I'm his direct superior? -Yes, that's obviously bad. -Uh-huh. Does it help that I'm just doing it to get a raise? -That does not help, no. -Okay, we're just going to go ahead and wrap this up. -Wait. Can I say something? I learned something important today. An office is a sacred place, and office relationships are tough. But you can only ask someone out once, and if they say no, that's it. -Okay, that's literally the only thing we've covered today. -But here's something you didn't cover. You can bank yeses, and they roll over every year. -And over time, they accrue interest. -And you can trade in your Christmas bonus for 20 new asks. -And booty khakis are okay. -No, they are not. -No, that was never okay. -Never. [ Cheers and applause ] -Okay, let's see what I made in tips today. $40, $41. 42 bucks. Not bad. -Damn. I made $39. So close. -Well, looks like I'm the tip queen tonight. [ Laughs ] How about you, new girl? -Oh! Let me see. -Yeah, how much tips did you make? -Uh, $31, $32. Uh, $36,000. -Jesus. -What?! -Is that low? -I wouldn't say low. -Yeah, that's pretty good, Tina. -Oh. -Well, another bad day for Dennis. All I got in tips was 12 cents and this note that said, "You ruined my day." -Well, that's the job. You know, it's up and it's down sometimes. -Yeah. Table 6 stiffed me. -Yeah. -That's gonna happen. -I'm so sorry. I had to run to the bank. Here's your tip, new girl. Damn, she fine! -Okay. That is insane. I served that guy last week. When I brought the check, he patted his pockets and said, "Sorry, I just got laid off." -Yeah, well, when I served him, he said, "Are there any ladies who worked here?" -Okay, guys. Razz the new girl. But honestly, I think it's just about great service. Watch. I'm gonna go deal with Table 8. Hi, boys! Who wants a refill? -[ Chanting ] Us! Us! We do! -[ Giggles ] Coming right up! [ Gasps ] Oh, my gosh! I am such a klutz. I am so sorry. -It's okay. Anything you do is okay. -Oh! Uh, it looks like there's a little beer left in the pitcher. Who wants some? You? -Eh, what the heck. Sure. -Okay. -Oh, awesome! The best part is I've been sober for 22 years, and that's over now. -Hey, uh, can we buy you a car or something? -[ Laughs ] You guys are hilarious! [ Laughter ] See? Was that so hard? -Okay, you spilled all over them and made one guy relapse. They just like you. Watch. Hey, guys, I just wanted to offer you a free round. -I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't want to see you. I don't want to know you. I want other girl! -And I'll take that. -Great. So, yeah, it was a little different for me. -Yeah. Exactly. Watch this. Hello, my guys. -No! -Of course. -See? No offense, Tina, but you're making us feel bad and you're taking all our tips. -Yeah, maybe Hooters isn't the right place for you. -Oh. [ Soft music plays ] You know, I always thought that this place was the one place I'd feel at home. I've tried to work at other jobs, and I can't. I worked at an airport. No planes took off. I was a crossing guard. Thousands died. But if you don't think I belong at Hooters, I'll go. -Wait! -[ Gasps ] Oh, my God! Hooters mascot, Hooter B. Owl?! -That's me! And I came to say you can't leave. You are my Harry Potter, and this is your Hogwarts. So please stay. -If you really want me to, okay. -Thank you! -And what about us? -I don't care! Now I must go. I have a funeral to attend. My friend Flaco flew into a building. I'm very sad. So if someone could show me their breasts... -I'll do it! -I'll just leave. -Goodbye, Hooter B. Owl! -Goodbye, Hooter B. Owl! -Babe, before we go in, I just want you to know that you have nothing to be worried about. My mom's not here, and my aunt is gonna love you. -Oh, Luis, I know. I'm so excited. -Alright. Let's go. Tia Rosa, we're here! -iMi sobrino, llegaste! iAy, mi sobrino favorito! Ay, Dios mío. -Okay. Yes, I love it. Go off, tia. -[ Chuckles ] -And who -- who is she? -Um, tia, this is Casey. Ella es mi novia -- my girlfriend. -Mm. Linda. Linda. Muy Old Navy. No sé. -Uh, thank you. -Don't worry about her. She's just a little bit protective. But it's nothing compared to my mom. -¿Están hablando de mí? iAy! -iMamá! I didn't know you were here. -Ay, mi hijo lindo. Dios mío y la Virgen y los tres Reyes Magos. Why you didn't tell me you were here! I kill you! I break your car! Ay! I miss you so much. I pray for you every morning, every noon, every night. I love you, I miss you, I love you. -[ Chuckles ] -Well, hey, it's like a family reunion in here. -Who? -Es la nueva novia de Luis. He get a girlfriend. -Well, hi, Miss Flores, I didn't realize you were going to be here, but I'm so excited that I brought cookies, so... -Ah, so thoughtful to not make them yourself. -[ Chuckles ] Come! Sit, sit, sit. So, uh, Casey, what do you do for work? -Oh. Well, currently, I am a graphic designer for my dad's nonprofit. -Oh, good. Because nobody likes profit. [ Both laugh ] -Mamá. -Ay, por favor. No puedo creer que me trajiste a un nepo baby. Que seguro compra toda su comida en Trader Joe's. -Pero, Claudia, ¿qué tú esperabas? Si ese es el pasatiempo de todas las niñas que tienen un flat butt. -Okay. Uh, are you talking about me? -No, my love, I'm talking about another white girl with flat butt. La verdad está muy blanquita. Vela... Yo no sé. Parece que trabaja en Starbucks. [ Both laugh ] -Okay. Well, um, I just -- I want you guys to like me. And I love Luis, and I feel like I've been really good for him. Like when he got diagnosed with depression. -Oh, Casey, no, no, no, no, no. -What do you mean mi sobrino got depression? -Mi hijo does not have depression! He just like the dark! -Mamá -- -Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He tried to get it when he was a kid. He said, "Mami, I'm depressed." Then I said, "Don't do that. Do something else." -Okay. Well, depression doesn't actually work that way. -Oh. Oh. Oh. I didn't know she was a doctor with that thing in her nose. -Oh, this. It's called a septum piercing. -Oh, I have a piercing, too, "septum" putting it in my ear, where it belongs. -Mamá. -No, no, no. Yo no me puedo imaginar que tú vas a estar con ella y tener white grandchildren. Y todo el mundo va a tener que decir "Tyler and Haley Gonzalez." -Mamá, estoy enamorado de ella. No me importa que ella usa organic deodorant. Y yo no tengo problema con que tenga cara de bisexual barista. -Tú me podías haber traído a una buena niña latina, trabajadora, como Jenna Ortega, Ana de Armas, Cardi B. Pero no, no, tú llegas a la casa de tu tía con Greta Thunberg. -iMamá, por favor! -Luis, no le grites a tu mamá, que lo que ella quiere decirte es que a ella no le importa si tú te metes con ella como -- como un booty call. O -- Ella no tiene que ser tu novia oficial. Ella puede ser como un side chick o un sneaky link. -Alright, uh, you guys, I know I'm not exactly what you were expecting, but can we just start over and have dinner? I would hate for all this delicious food to go to waste. -Honestly, I'm not even hungry anymore. -[ Scoffs ] No, don't do this again. How many times have I told you, you do not eat enough? [ Chuckles ] -Ohh! -Ohh! She want to feed my son! Ai, Luis. Give me Tyler. Give me Haley. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Insects chirping, fire crackling ] -I hear the British are sending another 5,000 troops. -How will we ever win this war? -By remembering what we fight for. -General Washington. -Sit, please. You need your strength for the fight ahead. We fight for a country of our own, a new nation where we choose our own laws. -Hear, hear! -Well said, sir. -Choose our own leaders. -Yes, sir! -And choose our own systems of weights and measures. -Weights and measures, sir? -Yes. Yes, I dream that, one day, our proud nation will measure weights in pounds, and that 2,000 pounds shall be called a ton. -And what will 1,000 pounds be called, sir? -Nothing. Because we will have no word for that. -It seems like we should have a word for 1,000 pounds, sir. -And, yet, we won't. Because we are free men. And we will be free to measure liquids in liters and milliliters, but not all liquids -- only soda, wine, and alcohol. -Only those, sir? -Yes. Because for milk and paint, we will use gallons, pints, and quarts, God willing. -Okay. And how many liters are in a gallon, sir? -Nobody knows. -And, sir, in this new country, what plans are there for men of color such as I? -Distance will be measured in inches, feet, yard, and mile. So 12 inches to a foot. -Uh, 12 feet to a yard? -If it were only so simple. 3 feet to a yard. -And how many yards to a mile? -Nobody knows. -Okay. Well, how many feet to a mile? -5,280, of course. It's a simple number that everyone will remember. -I must confess, it feels a little complicated, sir. Why not use meters and kilometers? -We will, soldier, but only in certain unpopular sports, like track and swimming. For popular sports, like football, we will use yards. -Football, sir? -Yes. It's a sport where you throw a ball with your hands. -So in football, there is no kicking? -There's a little kicking. You kick the ball to get points. -How many points, sir? -Sometimes one and sometimes three. -I'm very confused, sir. -Do not worry. For our new nation, we will have rulers with two sets of numbers -- inches on one side, centimeters on the other. -So we can see where they line up. -Yes, except that they don't line up and they never will. -Why? -Liberty, son. Liberty. -And the slaves, sir -- what of them? -You asked about the temperature. -I did not. -We shall have two different, unrelated scales of temperature. One of them will make sense to the entire world, and the other will be super random. Our great nation will use the random one. -What is the scale called, sir? -Fahrenheit. -Spell that for me. -Impossible. But one day, if we are brave, we will get rid of the "U" in a lot of British words, like "colour" and "armour." But, by God, we will keep the British "U" in the word "glamour." -Only glamour, sir? -Only glamour. That is my dream for our country, men, a melting pot of different measurements that will make Europeans throw little tantrums. In short, a land of liberty. -Where all men are free! Where all men are free, right? -Welcome to "News Nation." I'm Bobbi Moore. In tonight's live stream town hall, we'll discuss the potential power and pitfalls of the coming A.I. revolution. You won't want to miss this. I'm joined by MIT Dean of Technology, Professor Norman Hemming. -Thank you, Bobbi. -Well, let's get into it. Professor, you've been very outspoken about the threat A.I. poses. Can you explain your stance to the average American? -Um, I'm sorry. What? -Can you explain your stance on A.I. to the average American? -Uh, certainly. Um, to be clear, I'm not anti-A.I. I just Beavis -- uh, believe -- I believe A.I. needs to be properly regulated. I'm sorry. -Professor, is there a problem? -Um, yeah. There's a gentleman in your audience who looks strikingly similar to Beavis from the cartoon "Beavis and Butt-Head." It's just a little distracting. -I'm not familiar with that cartoon. But would it help if he moved seats? -Yeah. Yeah, that might be a good idea. It's the gentleman in the blue shirt and blond pompadour. -Uh, sir -- [ Chuckles ] Sir, do you mind moving? -I'm sorry? Me? You're talking about me? I have no idea what's going on. I'm sorry. What? -Yes. Can you move seats? -Uh, okay. Sure. I'm sorry, I just -- I've never heard of that cartoon character. -And you really never watched "Beavis and Butt-Head" when you were a teenager? -Uh, no. I was pretty, so I was going to parties and hooking up. Now, Professor, if A.I. is left unregulated, what is your worst-case scenario? -Well, in simplest terms, it becomes so intelligent that it deems humans unnecessary and kills us all. -But if human beings created the A.I., can't we just program it to not do that? -Well, it depends -- Oh, my God! Are you serious? -What? I think that's a valid question. -No. Now there's a gentleman behind you that looks like Butt-Head. -Professor, just because our audience members aren't as informed on the issue as you doesn't make them buttheads. -Butt-Head from the cartoon. He's Beavis' friend. -I'd really like to move on and discuss A.I. So would you like him to move? -Yes! Thank you. The man with the gray shirt and exposed gums. -Sir... [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Kindly -- Kindly move seats. [ Laughter ] -She's talking to you. -Oh, I'm sorry. Me? -[ Laughing ] Yes. You. -I am so sorry. I -- I'm confused. I'm -- I'm just here to learn about A.I, but, yeah. -[ Laughing ] Professor, we have a viewer question from X. @Danwich980 asks... -Now, see, that's just somebody trolling. That's a reference to the cartoon. Cornholio was Beavis' alter ego. He eat the sugar and "become" Cornholio. -Yeah, I see. Let's move on to our audience questions, starting with Patricia Faulkner. -Uh, yes. Right here. -Oh, come -- You put them right next to each other?! Look, they even sitting like they do on the show. You two really don't know that you look like Beavis and Butt-Head? [ Laughter ] -I've heard rumblings... [ Laughs ] ...that I look like someone from TV, but it's just -- Maybe it's this Beamis person. I don't know. I don't watch much television. I have an incredibly busy life. -Yeah, I'm very busy, too. And this is -- this is honestly the first time I've ever heard that I look like this Butt-Head person, so... -Oh, boy. For those just tuning in, this is "News Nation," not the Cartoon Network. [ Both laughing as Beavis and Butt-Head ] -Hey! They laugh like them, too. You hear that? -Miss Faulkner, go ahead. -Yes. Professor... I'm a speech therapist, and I use A.I. software every day. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. How long y'all been friends? -Oh. I don't know this gentleman. -You don't know each other? -No. No. Um... Hi. I'm -- I'm Dean. -Jeff. Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, too. -Nice to meet you. -Alright. Let's take a break. After, we'll speak with some gentlemen from Texas who lost their jobs to A.I. I'm sure they have lots to say. -Yep. -Damn it, Bobbi, I do. [ Cheers and applause ]