Transcript for:
Understanding Healthy Dating Dynamics

how are you feeling today do you feel the FI the show will begin in 4 minutes are you ready when was the last time you felt betrayed when was the last time you felt love [Applause] the show will begin in 3 minutes are you ready what did it feel like to be in love what is the most painful part of being love the show will begin in 2 minutes are you ready are you ready to be [Music] transformed are you ready to make a change the show will begin in 1 minute I hope you're ready the show will begin in exactly 30 seconds get ready what if I told you some of the men you came across and started dating stop talking to you because you came across as desperate but what if I also told you you can change that in the snap of a finger without even changing anything about yourself if that still sounds confusing to you don't worry on today's show we're going to be discussing five ways you come across as desperate to men that way you never make the mistake of being seen as anything less than the Dream Woman you know you are welcome to the Players Club if you're paying attention to me and everyone else in the live stream please say here present so that I know you're here present and actively participating excuse me how are you all doing it's good to see you okay it's great to see you great to spend some time with you uh who we got up in the Tik Tock chat today we got Rogue here we got Bri here we got Malia here we got Goose here we got sh here we got uh Francine here we got Parlin here Sonia here foxy red is here adorable is here here who we got over in the YouTube chat I see we got Ivy one of our amazing channel members is here henya is here uh desan Joanna is here Tracy and Al our amazing Channel member is here oh shout out to deshan as well she's a uh Channel member as well uh who we got we got Mary Kim we got simplyy we got AAL we got Cassandra I think we had cashley here earlier we got Nicole one of our amazing channel members and we got lots lots more up in oh an electric field is here we got lots lots more up in the YouTube chat Welcome All of You Beautiful Souls so good to see you alling so good to have you here okay let's get started we don't want to waste any more time we want to hop right into it you know how we do all right so first things first you got to spend or sorry I was going to say you got to spend more time with me you already do spend a lot of time with me the first one that makes you look desperate is begging men to spend more time with you okay I know what you want and I know that you like guys okay where I understand that and I know it's not easy to not just dump your feelings all over guys as soon as you meet them and you like them and you want to be with them here is the thing though you have to understand I need you to understand cuz I want you to get the guy that you like but the problem is when it's the guy that you like you start acting all weird and strange and it's a turn off I'm here to try to help you with that so that you don't present yourself that way begging men to spend more time with you or even just asking them profusely meaning just consistently all the time to spend more time with you is going to make you look desperate cuz a couple of things are going to be occurring he's going to be thinking through his mind when you're constantly begging him to spend more time with you he's going to be thinking well first of all why don't you have anything to do else in your day uh anywhere else to go uh anyone else to hang out with other than me that you're always begging me to spend time with you and second of all uh is am I the only good thing in your life that you wouldn't even want to go and do anything else do you do actually not have anything you care about more than me and so it does a really weird thing where a guy begins to think well I must be the best thing since sliced bread and I must be the best thing in her entire life because if she wants to spend every second of every day with me then she probably doesn't have anything better to do or she probably doesn't have anything that brings her happiness as much as I do you know what that is though that's power and at the very beginning of the relationship unfortunately uh you don't want to be giving the guys that you're talking to a whole lot of power okay you want to be making sure that the guys that you're talking to are put in their place so to speak and when I say put in their place what I mean by that is they understand that you're entertaining them and you're going out on dates with them one because they're pursuing you okay that guy is pursuing you asking you out on dates H you okay let's see how it goes let's see what you got and you're allowing him to court you and pursue you and then number two right that you are one of his options okay don't have to be dating 30 guys at once but you're one of his options and if he shows himself to be the best option or put his best foot forward then maybe you might choose him you don't want guys to have so wield so much power in their relationships with you especially from the very beginning that they feel like they they're the ones in control and they're the ones approving whether or not they want to be with you type of thing okay don't don't don't don't beg men to spend more time with you don't ask them over text and don't ask them in person okay I know that I know that this is hard I know that it's hard but I want you to refrain from asking men to spend more time with you so let me be even more specific if you're talking to a guy and he tells you for example the next time I'm going to be available for you or to hang out with you is 2 weeks from now when you really like the guy you're going to be in agony oh two [Music] weeks I have to wait two weeks to hang out what am I supposed to do with the rest of my week I'm like I'm going to sit here I'm going to be so bored I don't want to be so bored can't you find time in your week before that that we can hang out let's go to crumble cookie or something like please I don't want to be bored for two weeks I'm going to lose interest I'm going to be so sad I'm going to have nothing to do do not do that do look at my eyes do not do that you will look so desperate and the thing about it is what you don't realize is even the guys that you're dating or seeing that are nice guys some of them won't tell you that when you're doing that you're looking desperate some of them in some cases excuse me some of them in some cases might actually say oh okay you know what since you said that I guess you know we can try and hang out you know in one week as well you know instead of making you wait the whole two weeks but you have to understand even when you do get out of him hanging out with him more frequently right after that from you doing that it's still going to be because he felt bad about not seeing you as frequently as you wanted to see him and so it's still not good because now he's not hanging out with you or spending time with you because he genuinely wants to spend more time with you he's hanging out or spending more time with you because he feels bad that you're so sad that you don't spend more time that he doesn't spend more time with you and so it comes more out of pity than it does out of his desire and you want men to be operating and making decisions about their relationship with you and how much they see you and spend time with you out of their desire remember one of the things that we do very heavily in the Players Club I'm helping you I'm like a vessel that's help helping you understand how men think so that you can go out into the world knowing how they respond and react to things and you can feed them very curated information and do very curated uh things knowing that it's going to give them this response or make them think or feel this way then they're going to treat you or respond to you or approach you in a particular way because of how you presented yourself okay so uh I say all that to say you want to you want to understand never to be begging men to spend more time with you even if you feel in your harder Hearts you're not seeing me frequently enough we're not spending enough time together I want to see you for longer hours for longer stretches even if you feel that way I want you to zip it zip it don't say a word okay why even if you're sitting at home crying your eyes out every day that you don't spend with that guy I don't want you talking about that to him and I don't want you messaging that to him you keep your mouth shut okay we don't want guys thinking that you're dating we don't want them thinking that you're sitting around watching paint dry when he's not hanging out with you and we also don't want them thinking that they're the best thing to ever come into your life that when they're not hanging out with you you literally have nothing else to do it's very bad for you it makes you look very low value and it makes it look like you're so so desperate go and dump that on your girlfriends okay this is where I want you to start comp compartmentalizing your friendships and relationships okay I want you to use all the trauma dump all the information all the oh I'm sad why can't we hang out save that for me and your girlfriends okay at all the the guys that you're dating you don't talk about that to them to the guys that you're dating especially the ones that you just started dating your life's great your life's amazing you're having fun you're enjoying yourself you're going out and doing you it's not even about lying you just want to present yourself in the way that you want to be seen and unfortunately when you start coming up to guys when you first meet them and say oh my God my life literally my world literally stops spinning when you're not in it that I want to spend every second of my day with you because I have nothing to do other than spend time with you whenever you do that to a guy from the very beginning they don't end up appreciating you they only end up wanting to use you and then take advantage of you so I don't want that for you and I know you don't want that for you so I'm trying to help you understand some of these things that you might say that might be honest and real to you and truthful to you uh are making you come across and look very desperate to guys and then when you look desperate they treat you as someone that's desperate they start thinking oh yeah time to rub my hands like bir man because it's my time to take advantage of here L Missy okay because when they recognize that you're so desperate for the attention you're so desperate for the time that you literally would lose it if you spend you know if you can't spend every single day with him that's a lot of of power okay remember in uh relationships especially at the beginning there a battle of power then when you settle into the dynamic and it's understood then you can relax a little bit but at that very beginning especially before you become his girlfriend you want to make sure that that balance of power is in your favor that you get to call the shots that you get to say uh how how it is and you get to determine how things go not him being the one pacing things telling you when you can't do something or when you can't do something it's you no no you don't want that you you don't want that okay right someone said how do we uh turn this around you turn this around by stopping it okay so if you've made that mistake in the past you stop that you stop begging for a man's time you I'm going to jump through the screen one day we're going to have a 3D stream and I'm going to jump through the screen into your house into your bathroom into your bedroom and I'm going to tell you you better you better stop begging men for their time you don't beg men for their time if a man is pursu remember the guys that you're seeing should be coming up to you and approaching you okay the guys that you're seeing you shouldn't be coming up to them and your friend shouldn't be going up to them and saying oh my friend thinks you're cute no no no you don't do that that's not what you do the guys that you are you're seeing and you're spending your time with you're seeing them because they approached you okay and when they approached you you got to set the standards and expectations and determine what you wanted out of the relationship if he was going to get access access to you okay so I say that to say you're not going to be begging any men for their time it's them that should be asking you and begging you for your time and then you determine um I don't know you got to convince me show me what you got right we want you to set the dynamic in your favor when you're desperate like that the dynamic is not going to be in your favor you're going to be the one pushing you're going to be the one begging you're going to be the one asking and he's going to be the one deciding do I want to give it to her today or not and you're not going to be able to set any boundaries when you're the one pushing that far ahead all right so number one was to spend more time with me begging to spend more time with me number two I know I'm going to get mad about this one you guys know how I feel about this number two is asking men to reply to you faster please why can't you reply every five minutes you're a cop but why can't you put that drug bust to the side and send me a quick message while you're tying them up in handcuffs you're just sitting in the police car doing your speedometer how much does it really take for you to text me back you're just sitting in the car it's Park stop get a grip step outside of your house go hang out with your girlfriends go paint a picture go read a book book go rub one out do something do do not sit by the phone waiting for him to text you do not you will always lose and you will always spiral that way you also do not need to be messaging or talking to some of you message this and some of you you call guys out on this when you see them in person don't be going up to guys and telling them oh so you're too good to text back no stop it stop it don't be saying nothing about oh you take too long to text back oh how you must be too busy you can't text back or blah blah blah no you're doing things with your life you have things going on if that guy doesn't want to text back cool you're not bothered about it you I know that it's hard and I know that it's difficult but you have to adopt an unbothered mindset because if you get thrown off by every single little thing that he does you're never going to be happy and you're never you're always going to be miserable and upset and feel anxious about everything you can be in a space where simply a guy not messaging you back for 5 minutes or an hour is going to throw your entire day off that is not sustainable it's not sustainable for your relationship it's not sustainable for your happiness and it's not sustainable for your desirability because guys will begin uh to not desire you when you're in that level of anxiousness please text me why don't you text me why don't you talk to me why don't you message me more why don't you this more why don't you that more okay sh says what about if it's ours even if it's hours I want you to say nothing see okay this is the mindset I want you to adopt okay I want you to listen to me very carefully this is so important I know it's Friday but this is a really important show the mindset you have to adopt and understand is if men want to talk to you and speak to you more they will reach out to you to speak to you more I okay I know it sounds so simple in theory but I need I need to keep saying it so you never forget it because sometimes when you're spiraling I know that you spiral sometimes we're friends when you spiral you're going to convince yourself oh he's not reaching out because uh his cousin's best friend's grandma is in the hospital and since he's literally feeding her me medication in Buckle through her nostrils and he's controlling the IV he doesn't really have time to text me so maybe if I text him instead it'll ping his cell tower when he's in that hospital cuz you know his service is low and when it pings his cell tower he'll remember to message me stop stop allow the men in your life that want to reach out to you and speak to you more allow them to space to do so and recognize that if they're not doing so then that's for a reason it's not because of some alterior this and that right of course men can be busy of course they can have things to do I'm not saying that they won't be but but don't get so caught up in oh he hasn't messaged me in hours at this point that just mean he he doesn't like me or that just means it's something else other than him being busy cool that's fine that still doesn't mean that you need to then message him and fill in the blanks for him that still doesn't mean that you need to then reach out to him and say hey why haven't you messaged me allow him to show you what his intention level is in you what his interest level is in you and how much he actually desires you and wants to see you and speak to you allow him to show you that and get comfortable understanding that the men that you're dating will respond to you and text you as frequently or as infrequently as they feel like doing cuz really and truthfully really and truthfully very same with oh spend more time with me the same thing applies in the sense that when you ask him to text you more and text you more frequently he might even end up doing that but it's not going to be because he necessarily wants to text you more frequently or talk to you more frequently it's because he feels bad about how much pain you're in for begging him to text you more frequently so in reality he's not operating off of his desire to speak to you more he's operating off of his pity and the fact that he feels bad that you're in so much pain and you want guys to be operating off of their desire right meaning that they're making decisions and making moves and taking action based on how much they want you and want to see you and speak to you more rather than making decisions based based on Dam I feel bad for her she's got nothing going on in her life and I feel so bad about the fact she's got nothing going on I guess you know I'll be the one to talk to her so she doesn't feel like she has nobody that's not that's a very unattractive place for you to be in especially at the very beginning I'm not saying you can't have needs I'm not saying that you don't you shouldn't want to talk to your partner or you shouldn't want to express your feelings but you have to understand especially at the beginning of your relationship you're going to come across so desperate when you're constantly begging him to talk to you more right especially if he's not meeting you there right he's not meeting you there meaning he's not the one saying I want to talk to you more you're the one saying I want you to talk to me more and then you're constantly going to end up pushing forward and becoming more anxious because you're going to be like I want you to talk to me more then as you say that and he doesn't do that you're going to start pushing forward more thinking that you're losing him and then he's going to pull back more and we're going to go be in a whole big mess where he's all the way pulled back and you're all the way leaning forward pursuing him being the man okay okay we don't want that so do you guys understand why those two are so important right spend more time with me and and reply to me let me get to some of these uh donations here I missed one that came at the very beginning okay uh thank you so much oh wow we got a lot of people who became uh players today and became members of the chat by the way uh this weekend and next weekend I'm going to be putting together the plan for what I'm going to do for you guys that are members of the uh YouTube channel I want to put together some special videos for you guys but I also want to make sure that it's like valuable um you know in addition to the stuff that we do here as well so I'm going to be putting together our my plan for you all uh special people I see a lot of you guys became a members today okay so shout out to you guys uh next uh here we have we have Celeste who donated $2 she said this is going to be good okay I guarantee is going to be good and uh we have Jay who donated $5 in the YouTube chat she says I complained to a guy that he didn't respond for 12 hours it's been a week now and he hasn't messaged me what should I do this is perfect Jay I'm so glad that you asked this I'm so glad that you asked this question cuz I know some of you are in this position as well like I mentioned at the beginning when I started this point and reply to me you have to understand and be at peace with the fact that when a guy wants to message you and talk to you he will do that I know it's painful and I know it builds and Bubbles your anxiety like no other but you have to accept that as truth because the reality of it is like Jay just mentioned in her question even when you called the guy out on not mess me in you for 12 hours he still didn't message you after you calling him out right you complain right so you you basically bit the bullet and said you know what I'm going to put my ego away and I'm just going to complain and hopefully when I complain he's going to message me right and you complained about him not messaging and he still didn't message you so now you look desperate right unfortunately you look desperate because you begged him why don't you talk to me why don't you want to text me why don't you want to message me and then still he doesn't message you so you don't get the message and you put yourself in a position where you don't have the power either so now he's kind of seeing it and thinking well I can message you whenever I want because you'll be ready for me whenever I come there right you don't want a situation like that and so the best thing for you Jay if you're wanting a direct answer the best thing for you to do now is nothing you don't want to be see and that's part of the mistake right that's part of the mistake when you see that a guy is not messaging you and you call him out uh actually Jay just said it right he became defensive right and when you call a guy out saying that oh you're not messaging me enough or you're not talking to me enough or you're not taking the serious they're always inclined to become defensive because it's kind of like an attack on their character oh you don't like me or you're not taking the serious or blah blah blah and then the guys are going to say well no I was just busy or no I was just doing that how many just okay let's be for real for a second when you cuz I know when you're saying hey please text me more why don't you text me blah blah blah you're coming from a good place but like let's even like just quickly go through the logical like outcomes of this when you complain to a guy hey why aren't you texting me you haven't texted me in this many hours you haven't talked to me in so long or why don't you want to message me or contact me more let's think about this what is he going to respond to that what are the likely responses is he going to respond and say oh I haven't been texting you more because I just don't want to and I don't find you that interesting so I'm just kind of fizzling out my the the amount and frequency in which I talk to you up until we just stop talking what all together or do you think he's going to say oh I've actually started talking to this new girl that I like even more than you and so I'm slowly phasing you out of my life that's why I'm not talking to you anymore like you have to understand whenever you complain about that guys are always going to say the simple answer is I'm busy I've been doing this I've been doing that I've not been feeling well I've been stressed out I've been there there's always going to be an excuse so real really and truthfully you're never going to be satisfied with any answer that he gives so there's no real purpose to you complaining about it because at the end of the day his frequency is likely going to stay the same meaning the amount he contacts you is likely going to stay the same and whatever the actual reason is he's most likely not going to communicate that to you he's just going to tell you something abstract like I was busy and I was doing stuff okay so you're better off not calling him out and allowing him to show you how much interest he really has in you okay in fact it's the better way to go about your relationships with guys that they show you exactly how much interest they have with you that's one of the biggest mistakes you're making cuz when you don't allow guys the space to show you how much interest they have in you you don't get to actually know that to be true and so if you're unsure about that or you're confused about that what do you do instead you ask him questions like hey do you still like me do you what do you want in this relationship do you want us to take this seriously and what do they do they lie to you but then what do they do after that they take action on not really taking this seriously or not really responding to you so then you're confused but I want you to understand you have to allow men the space to show you their level of interest in you you can't get so uh bent out of shape that he's not replying to you that you then feel it's necessary to take the space up and uh you know ask him to respond to you more frequently or talk to you more frequently okay does that make sense to you guys right you really don't want to do that you want to avoid you want to avoid calling a guy out on not responding to you or messaging you more okay once again you should have other things to do in your life and with your time other than sit around watching paint dry waiting for him to message you okay and if you don't we need to start getting your life together so you do have other things okay there should always be at all times something that something something not someone something that you can H someone said I missed a spot on my umbrella there's always something that you can um um uh there should be always something that you can fall back on and uh you know Focus your energy on that isn't just sitting around and waiting for that guy to message you back there should always be something like that okay all right make make sure of that if you don't have that we need to start working on that for you okay does that make sense to you guys so far all right so someone says how can I get my question answered you go into our Discord okay you got to hop in the Discord the link is in my bio go in there and you ask it in relationship advice so number one spend more time with me number two reply to me okay uh number three number three this is stop pooping time okay pay attention now okay everyone Focus look in my eyes now we're going to get so serious here number three is overstaying your welcome there's a huge problem here okay we're going to have a discussion do not make the mistake of overstaying your welcome with guys this is something actually pretty subtle that you won't realize you're doing but it's a mistake and it will you won't come across how I know you want to come across here's the problem I'm going to paint you a picture you start seeing a guy that you meet somewhere out let's just say you meet him out and you guys go on one date the date is great have a good time you go home you guys go on two dates two dates it's great right you're having a great time you're enjoying yourself now the third date you're like wow I like this guy he looks nice he's got a good job he's a good guy he makes me laugh we have a good time so now you're like okay I feel comfortable with him um we can start hanging out a little more casually it doesn't always have to be a dinner date so then you go over to his house on this third date you guys are drinking some wine spending some time together and then you decide okay I like you I like where this is going I really want this to work and you know I've drinking some wine so now I'll just I'll sleep over okay it's not a big deal I like you you like me it wasn't planned but you know I drank some wine then I drove and I don't want to be drunk when I'm driving so now I'll sleep over he's like sure you know you sleep over he might even be the one that mentions it you sleep over let's have a good time let's enjoy ourselves you sleep over you guys cuddle in bed maybe you guys make out a little bit it's nice and intimate you guys have some nice little cuddle time you're so close and all that stuff you're like wow I really like this guy he's so amazing he's so awesome then you wake up the next day and you're here remember this is the third day and you're here and he wakes up and you know let's just say today is a Saturday so there's not that much to do and now you went from the Friday into the Friday night into the Saturday morning and you're here and let's say you guys wake up you kind of lays around a little bit you make out a little bit more in bed he feels on your dump truck and then you guys like actually get up out of bed at like 12:00 p.m. you get up out of bed at 12:00 p.m. you guys go to the living room you're like watching a little TV and stuff like that you eat some snacks and you're still there and since it's Saturday now you guys don't have anything to do on Saturday uh now the Friday date has turned into Saturday morning that's now turned into Saturday afternoon and you're still there and then Saturday afternoon comes and you guys you know having fun and just laying and you're cuddling and you're watching Netflix and you're just thinking of yourself oh damn you know I'm having such a great time if I just had my little makeup and stuff I would just go or my makeup remover I just get my makeup remover take it off and you know we could chill some more but I don't have any of my stuff here and he's like oh well you know there's a spot down the street just across the street there's a Shopper Drug Mart you can get some of your stuff and then you can stay over some more so you're all excited and you're all hyped up and you're like okay let's go in I'll go get my makeup remover and all my stuff and then I'll stay over some more and then you stay over for a second night okay and this is the thing this is where I want you this is where I want you to to what you are what I want you to see see here unfortunately even when guys this is this is the weirdest part when guys ask to see you more and spend more time with you especially at the very beginning it's a trap because what's going to happen in the example that I gave you're going to go over and you're going to sleep over for the second night in a row so now Friday has turned into Saturday has turned into Sunday you're going to wake up on Sunday and by the time you leave on Sunday he's going to be sick of seeing your face not because you're a bad person not because you're unattractive but simply because you've jumped off to fast and gone too far before there was time for him to build up the emotions of the vast oppress right that he's supposed to build build when he misses you and wants to see you more and his desire for you right you want guys to see you more because of their desire for you but you still want to leave them unsatisfied you can't leave them satiated right from the very beginning cuz you know what they say after that I don't need to see her for a little bit after you spend those three nights in a row at his house on that third date he's going to say damn that was great I had some fun but you know I saw her three nights in a row so I probably don't need to see her for another week and a half I got to catch up on work I got to do this I want to hang out with friends and I just you know I saw her a lot we slept together we hung out we chit chated all day I'm good for the like a week and a half at least and that's a lot of times where you get guys where you'll spend time with them so let's say you spend a day with them or you'll spend two days in a row with them and then after the 2 days in a row is over he like won't text you much for the next couple of days because he essentially needs like and I'm not saying this to this you I just want you to understand what's happening he essentially needs like an emotional break from you okay not because you're a bad person but you have to understand there's a buildup to spending every day with someone okay and when I say every day I mean like from the wake up when we're brushing our teeth to eating breakfast together to eating lunch together to being on the couch together to going to going out together and then going to sleep like there's supposed to be a buildup there not supposed to happen when you still are unsure how you feel about someone and you're still learning them a lot right are you following what I'm saying and so I say that to say a lot of times it can become a trap for you and you end up overstaying your welcome thinking oh we're getting along so well so fast and then all of a sudden he's sick of you and then you're wondering why the guy that you thought things were going so well with is now kind of pulling back away from you and not seeming as interested in you anymore and I'm here to help you understand that comes when you overstay your welcome why cuz remember when we talked about asking and begging someone to hang out with you begging someone to reply to you it makes it seem like you have nowhere else to be and nothing else to do and I know this is unfortunate because some of you might be like well Thompson the only times I stayed over was when I actually was free when I actually didn't have anything to do it's not because I'm I'm desperate it's not because I have you know like I have no life but I simply was actually free at the time so I ended up staying that I know you're you you it comes from a good place and I know you're not doing it intentionally I just want you to understand by the time you overstay you're welcome the guys in the in that position they can't help but think to themselves yeah you know I I I I kind of I'm I'm good for a little bit I like you and I'm you're amazing but I'm just you know we don't need to see each other every single day and because we saw each other three days in a row we can we can take a little bit of a break here right and they might might not say that to you but they start thinking that subconsciously and thinking yeah you know I like her but I don't necessarily miss her right now cuz I just saw her for 3 days in a row okay and a lot of times for some of you if you're lucky at least that guy wants to spend time with you and he wants to actually be with you so it's not hitting him that hard but for some of you when you overstay your welcome you're not realizing cuz guys can do this sometimes without letting you in on what's actually going on in their mind you can overstay your welcome thinking I love spending in so much time with you meanwhile he's thinking damn um you know I I like smashing and I like you know just casually hanging out but like ah this 24-hour thing is kind of you know kind of you know messing with me and then they start making excuses uh you know maybe I think I do got to do something later or I think I do got to go somewhere later you don't want guys I I know that this is going to sound horrible and you're probably going to cringe when you think about this if you've done it you don't want guys that you go out on dates with telling you that they got to go somewhere or that they have a thing I called this stop pooping time for a reason if you find yourself in a position where a guy's looking at his clock clock or looking at his watch or looking at his phone and saying oh yeah I got to run somewhere or oh yeah I got to go do a thing or oh yeah I got to get all your stuff grab your bag grab your lipstick grab your Chapstick pull your your pants up if your pants at your ankles tighten up your belt put your boots on walk out that door as fast as you humanly can do not allow the period in which he says yeah I think I got to go do something else and the time in which you're still there to go on you do not want to overstay your welcome you and the reason for this is very very important because the position that you're in in your feminine energy you want the guys that are in your life that are dating you you want them to always be coming to you so they have to have a certain level of hunger and desire for you consistently in order to consistently continue coming to you right you're not going to be asking him on dates you're not going to be asking him to spend time with him you're not going to be asking him to go here and go there and do this and do that right and there's a reason for that you want to stay in your feminine and you want him to continue pursuing you and because you want him to continue pursuing you you you have to be very careful very very careful and meticulous about making sure that you don't allow him to become so satiated or overwhelmed by the time he's spending with you that he no longer has that desire or hunger for you you really really have to pace it here and you really really have to be hyper aware of okay I can see you're starting to get the it's starting to become mundane to you now right and you're spending time with me but it's not feeling as magical to you anymore then you take a step back you leave so that he can continue missing you again okay I know that that sounds really horrible and that sounds really hard to do I promise you in the beginning it's not that hard cuz you're not even supposed to be spending every day together anyways okay you want guys over time to get to see you and spend more time with you and you want them to earn that because they're consistent with you but you also want them to have a hunger and desire for you so that they can continue pursuing you and asking you out on more dates right some of you wonder you guys asked me Thomson how come I went on one date with the guy and the date lasted 8 hours and then now he doesn't want to speak to me for the next next week well that's part of your problem when your date lasts 8 hours and and it's the first date and it's his first chance to meet you it's very difficult for him to say after that oh I want to see her again very soon that's exactly why I give you guys the rule whenever you're in that first month you do one date a week and you keep it at a maximum of 2 hours for that in-person time okay that's not including Transportation on that first month you only do one date per week and you only do it a Max of 2 hours even if he begs and pleads scratches the floor claws bite you know uh grinds his teeth and begs you to see you more than the one week you don't allow any more than the one week I don't care how much he begs cuz at the end of the day no matter how much begging and asking and pleading that he does you he will still want to go out with you the next week if he really is that hungry and thirsty and and desires you that much you need to keep that one week as a a solid uh uh Tech technique and strategy for you right don't fold on that whatsoever okay right uh I want so someone says uh even no one time a week so for the this is how I this is the schedule that I tell you guys to do you do one time per week for the first month then the second month you can do you can do two uh day sorry one date per week for the first month the second month you can do two dates per week um but they both still last only 2 hours not including uh uh Transportation so not including the time it takes you to get there time takes you to get back and and you know set up time the time you're actually together on the date wherever you are 2 hours maximum go home okay uh same thing for the second month two hours maximum for two dates and go home same thing for the third month three hours maximum for the for the three dates right so for the third month you're going to do three dates per week for the two hours of inperson time then you go home okay and I really really mean that some of you guys are like Thomson this sounds so like why do I have to do this makes no sense because we want him remember he's pursuing we want him to continue asking you out on dates continuously Time After Time After Time After Time so we want it to be quality enough that he can remember it and enjoy his time with you but we don't want it to be overly extended where after the date he says yeah I don't need to see her for another week okay we want you focused on the right place and we want you keeping a balance there that he can continue asking you out multiple times okay right does that make sense right uh someone says what if he traveled to see you uh traveled from where just another city if he traveled from just another city like I said we're not counting Transportation time you still keep it at one date uh or sorry one date per week for the two hours okay there is there is no reason other unless unless a guy is uh uh someone said long distance unless a guy is coming to see you from like another country and you guys don't see each other you know uh any more than once every 3 or 4 months that is the only exception in which you can spend more time with him because obviously there's going to be an extended period of time where you're not spending with time with him but if you are if you are in a situation where your man is capable of seeing you more than one time a week each and every week right then you do this strategy so I don't care if he lives an hour away it's still possible for him to see you more than one time a week if you wanted to you keep it at the at the at the strategy the only people that can that would be using a different strategy are people in Long Distance where you're dating someone who you're not seeing for 3 to four to five months of the year okay cuz obviously that's unrealistic why would someone travel to a different uh to a different country and only see you for two hours in the day that doesn't make sense okay so uh make sure you're not overstaying your welcome and even if you're in Long Distance whatever situation you're in make sure that you're not allowing things to go too far for too long that you're not able to pace yourself or he starts to be able to say oh well yeah I'm kind of bored of you or things like that okay so number one spend more time with me right number two reply to me number three don't overstay your welcome now number four you can't be an I'll change anything about myself type of girl okay I know you want to make your man happy that's fine but you should be making your man happy not Rando that you go on dates with okay the guys you go on dates with are randos okay until you actually start building up this relationship and building it to what it's supposed to be then you can start thinking about okay what are you like what are you interested in okay like what what can I do to turn you on more and things like that okay at the beginning though you cannot be hyperfocused on changing everything about yourself as soon as he says oh I like this better I like that better let me give you a direct example of what I mean if you start seeing a guy that you just met right and you go out on a couple of dates with him and you start hearing when he's showing you let's say for whatever reason he shows you pictures of his exes and you start looking on his following list and he's following a bunch of blonde models and all of his exes are blonde girls and you're sitting there you're like I'm a brunette uh he clearly is in love with blond and so you start thinking and he starts saying yeah my ex with this and d d and she's blonde and she's d d d and you start thinking oh well maybe I'll I'll change my hair to blonde because he clearly is really into blondes and I don't want to be what he doesn't like it's a mistake grave grave mistake be you be you do not change or adjust yourself and don't even don't even present the idea that you're willing to change and adjust yourself to be more of what he wants in the beginning why you need to come standing your ground saying I am who I am I love who I am if you don't like that that's fine doesn't bother me doesn't affect me doesn't make me mad but we should go our separate ways cuz if you don't like me who who I am and how I am how I talk how I laugh let me know let's have a conversation so that I don't have to waste time on you cuz I need to be with someone that I'm compatible with being me not I'm compatible with someone if I'm someone else uh cuz you you do not go into your relationship with another guy and you learn what his ex was like what she looks like and you try to become more like his ex be you now that doesn't mean you don't want to improve yourself and be the best you can and be the most attractive you can of course you can but don't try to change aspects of who you are to be more like the girls you think he likes if you think your man loves blondes and he's dating you and you're brunette stay brunette okay if you had no intention of changing your hair color before you met him you keep your hair color exactly what it was do not be changing who you are or what you're like or your aesthetic or the way you talk or The Way You Walk for some other guy it's and the craziest part is even when you do it you're doing it so that he'll like you more and the irony of it is when you actually end up doing it he only ends up liking you less because he recognizes that you're making the change simply for him and because he likes something different so what is that that's a demonstration of power because as soon as he doesn't like something or he wants you to make a change about yourself you immediately make that change so what's that going to communicate to him oh I have a lot of power in this relationship she's going to change or adjust herself based on whatever I want or need in that moment even if she has to sacrifice what she wants in that moment so what's that going to tell him what I want and what I need is way more important than what she wants or what she needs because anytime I want an adjustment made she will make that adjustment no compromise needed no discussion needed who has a lot of power now he has a lot of power and what are guys inclined to do when they recognize how much power they have over you especially very early they're usually going to misuse and abuse that power meaning they're going to take advantage of you they're going to extract from you and then they're going to give you nothing in return uh drive you around in circles and then discard of you when they feel like discarding of you we don't want that for you and we don't want to put you in that position we don't want to make you look desperate so I'm advising you do not go into your talking stages your dating stages and start changing things about yourself to be more like the guy that you like now okay even if you're in a situation where you recognize damn he definitely is into this particular type of girl or he definitely does like this particular type of thing don't be trying to change or adjust yourself thinking that oh if I do more of that he's going to like me more he won't he won't you're not going to be more attractive you're not going to be any more interesting or enticing he's not going to talk to you anymore cuz I know that's one of the first things that some of you run to if you see a guy is not really showing you proper attention you start running to trying to change yourself or change yourself to be more of what he wants thinking that when you do that he's going to be showing you more attention it's a mistake you you'll you'll put yourself in the Trap and he still won't talk to you more okay that's being what they call uh you know what other people call being a Pik Misha right where you're trying to change or adjust yourself to be more like what he want guys also are capable of recognizing that right guys are able to see that hey I just met you I'm a stranger to you you're a stranger to me we don't really know each other and already you're trying to bend over backwards and forwards to be whatever I like even to the point where you're changing your hair color changing your style or changing the way you dress to be what I like be you feel comfortable as you you embody you because at the end of the day what matters more than anything is that you look in the mirror and think that you're hot think that you're sexy think that you're amazing think that you're approachable because that confidence is what's going to make you attractive not that other people cuz if you place all of that confidence on whether or not other people think you're attractive you're going to be down in the dumps because when people don't validate you you're going to feel like you're worthless and we don't want that for you okay so you got to make sure you're taking care of you don't wear a red blazer because someone else told you to wear a red blazer don't uh wear a jumpsuit because someone else told you to wear a jumpsuit don't wear a Minik skirt because someone else told you to wear a mini skirt wear what makes you feel comfortable and what makes you actually feel hot and sexy that way when you go out you can have that confidence that will be attractive to other people okay be you you have to be you don't be an out change anything about myself type of woman guys will think it's desperate and they'll only look to take advantage of you okay does that make sense sin said this is why you shouldn't find out who is X's no I still want you asking questions about the X because the X will always give you answers and insight as to where he is in his mind and how he feels and whether cuz some of you don't ask about X's then you don't realize he's still with his ex so you do want to ask about ex's but you're not allowing that to phase what you do with you and for you okay what he does with his ex is is what he did with his ex and recognize also that clearly no matter how many X's look the same or sound the same or dress the same uh clearly it didn't work out because they're ex's so that formula doesn't really yield results you have to also be thinking that when you're dating people right that the X's are X's for a reason so you can't take their template and try to make it your template when that technique clearly hasn't yielded the result in being in the relationship cuz that's an X for a reason you have to recognize that as well so don't be so worried when you start noticing a pattern that you think oh I got to be like the X's now actually you should be less like the X's if anything okay so uh Sunny says what if they have multiple girls what does that even mean what what what do you what do you mean if they have multiple girl what what is that referring to uh so number one was to spend more time with me number two reply to me number three overstay welcome number four I'll change anything don't do that number five is over complimenting I told you guys this before I told you guys this before don't listen I love some of these other content creators I do and I know that they mean well and I know that they're giving you their best advice that they possibly can okay by the way if you guys want me to repeat any of the points they're all available on my YouTube because I'm Live on YouTube as the same time as Tik Tok so just go on to my YouTube stream it's Thomas in at tubella just type it in on YouTube type in my first name you'll see the YouTube stream live at the same time and then you can rewind all the points Jasmine you don't have to you don't have to memorize that them you can rewind them that's on my YouTube so number number five was over complimenting and I know other YouTubers and content creators have told you compliment a guy's t-shirt tell him he looks nice tell him his eyes are nice tell him he's got a nice smile all this jibber jabber it's useless in fact when you over compliment guys you will actually come across as desperate why do you need to over compliment someone that has approached you clearly they like you clearly they're interested in you this is actually part of the I set I set this strategy up so that you can be confident and sure within yourself and not be anxious wondering what things mean let me explain this to you there's a reason why I tell you do not not be going out on dates with any man that don't approach you don't even entertain them any man that you have to text first any man that you have to call first any man that you have to reach out to or you have to ask for his number or you have to go up to him you do not go out on dates with any of those men there's a reason that I tell you that cuz some of you guys are like oh well I I should but what if I think he's cute there's a reason I say that why because when he approaches you that is confirmation for you that you don't need to over extend yourself are you following what I'm saying you can use that to constantly reassure yourself he approached me for a reason he came up to me for a reason he clearly likes me finds me interesting and finds me attractive or else he would have never approached me nobody held a gun to his head to do that nobody forced him to do that nobody pushed him to do that he chose to do that that will consistently be like your reassurance that you can fall back on when when you ever think of okay maybe I have to start over complimenting more maybe I have to start doing more of this maybe I have to start getting the floor squeaky clean maybe I have to put my my maid outfit on maybe I have to give him a handy and a fooie like that way you don't lose your mind and start spiraling you can rest be rest assured that anytime you start thinking oh maybe I got to compliment him more tell him how amazing he is so that he knows I still like him no you don't maybe I have to do all this so that he'll still like me no you don't because when you were doing nothing he still came up to you when you were doing nothing he still approached you when you were doing nothing he still asked for your number and wanted to get to know you so that should allow you the peace of mind to know if I just continue doing nothing nothing's going to change okay he's still going to want me he's still going to want to approach me now where things can change is if I start overextending myself thinking that I have to do the absolute most in order to keep his attention no you don't okay he approached you because he wants you and wants to get to know you leave it at that and allow it to be that don't start thinking that you have to do a whole bunch of magic tricks and flips in order to make him like you more you don't just let it build he's going to approach you because he finds you interesting and fascinating once he does that let that interest build upon itself over the course of time it doesn't have to all be at once it doesn't have to look like a teen drama natural uh you know feelings don't build up in 5 minutes they build up over the course of weeks and months and years okay and that's perfectly fine I want you to be at peace with the fact that when he shows you interest and shows you the fact that he wants you that that is what that means and not thinking that you have to over compliment you got a nice t-shirt you got a nice smile you're the best thing since sliced bread I love you so much no do nothing because in fact when you're over complimenting guys like that they can feel they can sense that you're overcompensating they can sense that you're doing it because you're anxious or nervous that he might leave or he might be looking at a different girl or he might not want you anymore or his interest might be wanting it becomes obvious to them when you're overextending trying to say essentially hey look at me still you know I like you and I want to be with you because I feel like you don't know that I still like you and I want to be with you if you would know that I want like you so much and I want to be with you then maybe you would recognize that I'm still here don't look at the girl behind me who her dump truck is so massive it's spilling out of her jeans look look at me I want you to see me and notice me don't be that don't do that okay just keep doing nothing now obviously when a guy's your boyfriend you can compliment him and tell him he looks nice I'm not saying you never give a man a single compliment in your entire life even if you're dating him that's not what I'm saying what I'm saying is you don't start using that as compensation to try to uh fill in the blanks where you're starting to say oh I feel nervous about the fact he might be losing interest maybe I should tell him over compliment him and then tell him how much I like him so that he'll recognize that I'm into him and he'll still be into me that doesn't work and it only makes you look desperate over complimenting and overly explaining your emotions I like you so much and I think you're so amazing and I want to be with you so bad and I want to get married to you and I you're so the best you're the best like you cannot overdo it you cannot you really can't and I really mean that because I know some of you that will be your go-to whenever you start getting nervous or whenever you start getting anxious I don't want you to do that remember when that guy approaches you and comes up to you and strikes a conversation with you and asks you for your number that is already sign enough that you need that he likes you you don't need to keep thinking of different ways to to get him to like you more okay and in fact the ways that you get him to like you more is by strategically doing nothing and doing less right in certain instances so that he has the space to continue pursuing you okay all you're doing after he approaches you and comes up to you and asks you for your number all you're doing is managing and pacing what I mean by that is you're managing the amount that he sees you and the amount that he gets of you and you're pacing the relationship so that it's going in a positive forward Direction each and every day but it's never stagnating that's what you're doing okay managing and pacing because we don't want you guys to go super intense super heavy at the very beginning and then there's burnout and a whole crash just a couple of months after that and we also don't want you wasting your time in a relationship with a guy who doesn't have any interest in you or it just stagnating at some point right we want to keep it escalating and growing over the course of time until he asks you to be his girlfriend right that's what we want for you and so that's why I gave you guys these five so you're not making the mistake of coming across this way when you meet them or start dating them does that make sense to you guys so number do you guys have any questions about the five we just discussed number one was spend more time with me number uh two was reply to me number three overstay your welcome number four I'll change anything about myself and number five over complimenting okay does that make sense to All You Beautiful Beautiful People okay do you guys have any questions about [Music] that Maria says what to do if he wants to speak on WhatsApp but he doesn't want to meet up you want to know what you do you stop wasting your damn time anytime a guy wants to chitchat endlessly with you and not actually meet you on someone said what's it's WhatsApp WhatsApp you guys don't know what WhatsApp is you should know um anytime a guy wants to chitchat with you endlessly and he's not trying to uh you know actually meet you in person it's a waste of your time just don't don't waste your time okay don't waste your time right by the way for those of you who have questions for me um and you want me to answer uh your situation make sure you go into our Discord and uh you go into the Discord and you ask your question and relationship advice or relationship uh advice premium okay premium is only for people who donate to the show so you got to go to that link in that bio and uh the uh regular relationship advice is the free section for you guys as well so those of you who are like how can I get you to answer my question you go into the disc I know there's lots of people in here all right does that make sense uh TOA says what if you already did all those things you said not to do well you're in a very tough situation you're going to have to undo I'd advise you to watch my my shows on YouTube uh just above my head go on my YouTube page and watch my shows on how to get your power back from a man uh that way you can learn how to kind of undo the mistakes that you've been making okay that's going to require some withdrawing and you're going to have to do some hard work and you're probably not going to be able to speak to him for some time and that's going to be painful but you're going to come to there's going to be a decision made at some point he's either going to decide that uh you know he wants to continue talking to you and he wants to pursue you and take this seriously and he's going to take a step forward or he's going to say I didn't really like her that much anyways and then he's not going to talk to you ever again okay either way that's actually good for you either way okay fix this here does that make sense uh Teresa says I'm currently doing the drawback and it is really hard it is really hard of course we talk about stuff in the Players Club and I'll never pretend as if the stuff we talk about in The Players Club is easy peasy lemon squeezy okay I understand it's difficult to not talk to a guy that you've been liking and you've been talking to and you've been getting used to but at the end of the day you have to understand you're doing it for your future okay and so future you will be happiest if you actually get this right and when I say get this right I mean if you actually go through the pain of not talking to him or withdrawing from him and then he says steps up and says hey I actually really like you and I don't want us to not talk and I want to take this seriously that then future you wins and it's going to be happy because at the end of the day if you continue going down the path of talking to a guy who's not giving you what you need and not committing to you uh future you is only going to be more frustrated with present you because future you is going to look back and say oh my God back when it was only 2 months in I should have just let it go now that it's 2 years in I've wasted two years of my life on a guy who I'm still friends with benefits with and you're going to be wondering what do I do now okay does that make sense right uh s says uh did you get the rest of of uh rest from yesterday's drama uh I did I did I got some emotional rest from yesterday's drama so let's hope uh there isn't nothing crazy waiting for me in the Discord okay I'll even let you guys have a head start today for the Discord and let you guys know what's going to happen in a little bit here um at the uh near in the third section of our show we do a Discord time where all you guys who have questions for me get to ask me questions and I answer them live on the show but you have to do it because obviously in the chat you can only put a certain amount of characters we do it in our Discord so you go over to the link in my bio if you're on Tik Tok or you go over to the link in my description if you're on YouTube and you go into our Discord and there's multiple options there's the free regular relationship advice section there there's the uh premium relationship advice section there and there's also private relationship advice there okay if you go into e either one of those channels you'll see the instructions on how to utilize it with premium you can only put your question in if you donate to the show okay and when you donate to the show you go to the same Link in my bio on Tik Tok or Link in the description I get a notification cuz I see that it's your title cuz you put in the title of your question and your username okay or you can put it in regular relationship um advice but it does take me a while to get to them because you know there's many weeks uh that I haven't gotten to some questions cuz there's so many that I do okay so I'll just give you guys a head start in casee you want to drop your question in there so let's hop into our next segment of the day okay our next segment of the day is going to be our react segment everyone spam up your headphone emojis spam up them headphone emojis spam up them camera emojis spam up them baby oil emojis we fa to get to reaction time okay let's uh let's do this thing here let's uh let's do this thing here I'm just pull this up over here okay we're going to get to reaction time it's reaction time okay um pull up the right window whoopsie make sure I got the right window going on this is the wrong window I got to do Reaction Time reaction time uh why is that like that okay there we go okay here is Reaction Time guys chat chitty chat chitty chat chat chitty chat um we're going to hop right into it so by the way you guys can submit to me different things for us to watch together um you guys can submit that via our Discord by where there's Thomas and reacts and I take some Tik Tok videos from there you can also submit them to me by mentioning me on Tik Tok or you can I seen some of you guys DM me but I have a lot of DMS so it's hard to sift through those uh but try to do mention me on Tik Tok or send it to me on Thomson reacts okay uh let's start off with the did we do her yesterday no we didn't a man will do what is best for him in any given situation at any given time no matter what the the audacity that men hold the audacity that men were born with is something that every woman in the entire world should study learn and execute I don't care if your entire conditioning as a woman was to be likable and agreeable and favorable and to accept conditions that you know are below you and beneath you just for the simple fact of avoiding conflict I don't care if that's your entire conditioning today you need to learn how to be more audacious and you need to become empowered by that as a woman you need to step into your power and own who you are own that you are favored by God because you are a woman you are the human bridge from the astral to the physical that alone is magical own your power and step into it and do not ever put anyone above you ever ever get comfortable choosing you and really become empowered by the choice that you have to become audacious I don't don't care if you've never been an audacious person a day in your life you need to step into your power as a woman and learn how to choose yourself one thing two things men know how to do is be [ __ ] audacious and they know how to put themselves first and it's inspiring to see and if anything has ever happened to you where a man has put himself first and it's made you question like huh I'm confused don't ever feel like that take notes and learn how to do the exact same thing so it never happens to you again a man will do what I feel like somebody hurt her at the end there she one never happens to you again question like huh I'm confused don't ever feel like that take notes and learn how to do the exact same thing so it never happens to you again damn someone hurt her it's okay we've all been hurt so I say that say I think she has a lot of Point here um and actually it's one of the things that I talk to you guys about um is that you have to start standing up for you and even sometimes when we get into the Discord some some of the reasons why I get upset or I get you know fired up is because sometimes you are expecting other guys that you're dealing with or guys that are taking advantage of you to be the one to say oh I'm going to stop taking advantage of you because it's the wrong thing to do guys will never think that way and they're never going to stop taking advantage of you because it's wrong or the wrong thing to do they they're going to continue extracting from you as long as you continue to allow them to extract from you so then the qu the question uh becomes when are you going to stand up for you and stop allowing a guy to disrespect you um and this is where you got to know what you want know what you stand for and know what you're willing to accept and what you're not willing to accept and the moment you find yourself in a situation where you're no longer willing to accept that or this doesn't meet your standards you have to be more than okay with walking away and you can't become you can't live your life um I I know you probably heard people that talk about manifestation in spirituality talk about abundance and an abundance mindset that also very much applies to your relationships as well you have to have an abundance mindset not in the sense that oh I'm going to have a roster of 30 men so I don't care about any of these men I mean an abundance mindset in the sense that when I date people I will eventually find the person that I'm looking for that I'll be able to be happy with for the rest of my life and that will treat me well until I find that person I will continue searching for that person but what I'm not going to do is lower my standards based on the fact that I'm a little frustrated that I haven't been able to find my person or that some of these men that I've been meeting have been trash because the moment you say oh well some of these men are just trash so now I'll just take one of these trash bag men well don't be wondering why two months down the road or two years down the road you're in a miserable relationship because you chose one of those trash bag men or you're in a in a situ relationship still cuz you chose one of those trash bag men you got to keep your standards High you got to keep you first and you got to keep investing in you okay what should you pay for as the woman welcome to oh by the way guys this is uh Nico from the daddy Academy I actually seen the other day I think it was it was it was was it earlier today or was it yesterday I seen on his page Nico actually follows me so maybe some of you guys sent him a message uh cuz Nico follows me now um uh so maybe one day we collab maybe we'll collab soon okay that could be coming soon me and Nico what should you pay for as the woman welcome to the daddy Academy all right I would say this sry five dates in if you're going to pay for something I want you to pay for something out of respect for a good guy who is doing all the right things okay don't offer to pay if you feel like maybe you're losing a guy because he thinks you're cheap and you want to pay to try to win him over that's not what we do if you're going to pay for anything it's because a guy is doing all the right things and you're throwing him a bone you're not going to pay for a date though you're not paying for the dates men pay for the dates but you could pay for maybe an Uber maybe if you're bouncing from one place to another you could get an Uber right maybe if you go from dinner to drinks you can get a round of drinks you buy one round of drinks something little something thoughtful but just to show that I appreciate what you're doing but he's still paying for the dates he's still paying for 80 90% of everything you could just throw in a little something here and there if you're at the point where you're sleeping over you can get coffees in the morning okay something little something cutesy what should you pay for as the he was like 1 second from saying deir he was 1 second away he was it was just on the tip of his tongue it was the next frame he was going to say it um no but this is this is facts I actually will take it even a step further uh because I know Nico would probably say this if you know the video was longer but what I want to let you guys know is you cannot cannot be doing those things for guys that you just met it's not because you don't want to be nice it's not because you don't want to you know show appreciation or any of that stuff it's because when you first start dating a stranger you need to be aware remember you're the woman so he's pursuing you you need to be aware of what his interest level is and what level of seriousness he's taking uh into this relationship because some guys might date you with no real intention of this going anywhere so when you start paying for things or you start doing things from the very early on he strategically says oh well I really wasn't trying to invest too much in this anyways so I'm going to take a couple of steps back and see if she continues paying continues doing more and continues doing more and then he progressively does less while you progressively do more okay so we don't want that what we want and I think this is what Nico is describing is you as time goes on and you actually see his investment and commitment and consistency here that's when you show him a little bit of appreci ation back and it honestly doesn't even need to be something big just you know for the sense that like yeah I'm not just over here like you know I'm not going to pay for anything if you if you don't pay for it right cuz obviously men want to feel like it's not just about the money but that only happens once the consistency is going on for many months and he's there and he's taking care of you and you guys are growing and building something for real not with random strangers and not with guys that you're trying to like convince to like you more okay guys that you're trying to convinced to like you more you're thinking if I start paying for stuff you'll be more into me no no no Okay the reason for that is very simple we want to make sure that the guys you're dating actually like you and want to be with you and actually have intention enough of in terms of being with you that they will want to do stuff for you okay not that they're just you know I casually date you while I date 30 other women and I don't really care about any of this I just want to sleep with you okay we don't want that you know what's the sad is truth about dating that I have experienced like this this when I think about this it makes me want to quit dating altogether but I ain't no quitter so I'm not going to stop damn But the saddest thing is that the best she said I ain't no quitter so don't don't think I'm going to stop okay okay all this it makes me want to quit dating all together but I ain't no quitter so I'm not going to stop but the saddest thing is that the best dating experience I've ever had the best treatment I've ever gotten for men is when I don't like them the men that I like I barely enter my phone for you every time you talk to me I kind of have a little bit of attitude like I don't want to stay up on the phone with you all night I really I mean the men that you dat probably like that you know like how you said I'm I ain't no quitter so I ain't going to stop probably get some the saddest thing probably get their blood flow on tpe is that the best dating experience I've ever had the best treatment I've ever gotten from men is when I don't like them the men that I like I barely enter my phone for you every time you talk to me I kind of have a little bit of attitude like I don't want to stay up on the phone with you all night I really just I'm barely here that's when they want you the most that's when you get the most attention that's when they pursue you the hardest like it's it's an unfortunate truth and it's hard because as fun as that is and as satisfying as it is to like give nothing and get everything return that's not the type of person that I naturally am like naturally I want to be in love I want to be all up in your face I want to be consumed with love I want to be so blinded I can't see nothing else but as soon as I turn that lover girl mode on you don't know how to act they just can't handle it they do not respond well to that and the real key to still getting that treatment from them is to just solely focus on yourself to Center yourself completely don't think about anything that he wants don't think about what he needs just think about yourself and fill your whole life with you but sometimes it be hard cuz I don't even want to be thinking about myself I want to think about you I want a Daydream I want to build a future baby you know what's the saddest truth about day uh she's funny um so here's the thing for what day should just said when you're part of what I try to teach you guys in the Players Club is to help you understand that majority of you are attractive women except for maybe a few majority of you though are attractive women that don't really have problems attracting guys okay that's not your problem and most of you what it's really about is just understanding how to approach the guys that you actually like that way when you oh you know because the mistake is like deja said the guys that you don't like you actually treat the ways that I would advise you to treat them because you basically show them no attention and then they push so much forward towards you but then when you like a guy you're thrown out of whack you're becoming desperate you're becoming anxious you start messaging him all the time you start texting him all the time meanwhile there's other guys in your DMs begging to take you out but you're only focused on the one guy who's ignoring you it's a vicious cycle so what I'm trying to help you understand is the ways you are attractive to the guys you're not talking to and the ways you're unattractive to the guys you are talking to and to kind of merge those worlds to understand okay even if I might feel this way let me make sure I present myself a particular way so that he is the most attracted to me that he can possibly be cuz you can be a lover girl and as long as you do this the right way you can be that same lover girl while having that guy all over you as well and then you win you're happy okay so it's all good but that is kind of what we're building and helping you understand and almost like reframing your brain right we're kind of reorganizing your brain and filtering out some of the bad stuff and putting some good stuff in there so that you can understand this better and then when you approach guys that you really like you're thinking to yourself okay I really like you I want to be with you but now I know I got to implement all the strategies of The Players Club so that you can really like me because I don't want to be in a position where I'm just acting off of impulse because I really like you I become desperate and then you don't like me anymore okay does that make sense ladies if you don't listen to anything I say please listen to this when it comes to dating you see a guy you see a young man that you find attractive that you would like to get to know do not shoot your shot and I know some of y'all so dag on hardheaded y'all going to do it anyway man he's so country I know some of y'all so dang on hardheaded y'all not going to get it you can't shoot your shot you just got to wait like the Gators you know how when you gator hunting youself patient you got to be patient with it like when you gator hunting or when you deer hunting you got to be patient you can't shoot your shot too early now the guy you see a young man that you find attractive that you would like to get to know do not shoot your shot and I know some of y'all so dag on hardheaded y'all going to do it anyways you I'mma go get I'mma go get what I want I'mma make it be known see that's your problem that's why and that's why it don't work out for you the way to get a man's attention is just to be present just be present and and look Pleasant just just be inviting but you you don't go up to no man and shoot your shot at no man not if you want to be taken Ser serious at least me and I know the opinions differ opinions differ I'm telling you most men like to be the one that to I can't even say most man cuz ain't no telling these days the dudes I run with you know we like to be the ones to you know make the first move you know give me something to work for you know you know make me feel like I worked for it you know cuz y'all be y'all already be knowing y'all already be knowing make me feel like I I worked for it a dog is going to hunt what I tell you what I tell you I told you you going to say you got to wait on like you wait on them damn deer when you out hunting for them damn deer you got to when you get that buck shot you want to make sure you got lined up you got to be patient waiting on that deer and that Gat or not but when you shoot your shot at a man or when you pursue a man right you kind of leave room for him to kind of just toy you along and play with you you know that's not it ladies that's not it you see a guy you like right just be inviting be friendly even make a pass walk B you know just walk B you know act like you in a you in a store you see a guy walk by him you know ruffle through some men's clothing I I've done this you know hey hey excuse me what do you think of this shirt boom conversation starter it's a man that's that see you he go and he want you he going to come talk to you a man that see you on on in on Instagram y'all liking each other he he going to message you if he's interested you don't you ain't got to you ain't got to be the aggressor that's where a lot of y'all uh y'all cause heartache for yourself let that man pursue you but be in but obviously you need to be interested right be interested but don't be shooting your shot at no man don't be don't be pulling up from half court man don't do that don't do that don't do that this is something you and your mama's n should have told y'all don't be shooting your shot at no man I'm I'mma go I'mma go get what I want that's and that's your problem that's the problem right there y'all not going to listen to me though do what you want so um this guy's funny but uh what I think what he's actually the sentiment he's actually trying to say is it actually can be a little bit disappointing you know the Natural Instinct of men to be hunters and to go for what they want um it can be a little bit disappointing to like have a girl take that away from them by being the pursuer of them now here's the thing he even mentioned this in his video you know some men might be a little bit different they want to you to pursue them here's the thing what's actually happening here for at least the straight heterosexual men I can't speak on anything else the straight heterosexual men that want you to pursue them it's not because they actually want you to pursue them it's because they want to make it easy on themselves why because if they're great and they like girls and they can have girls come up to them and talk to them and pursue them think about this the filtration process is so easy now instead of him spending a whole bunch of extra energy pursuing a whole bunch of girls if he wants to sleep around he just has to sift through all the girls that want him pick and choose which one he wants way less energy spent way less time spent and think about this as well those guys that want girls to approach them they shoot 100% of from the field meaning they get to sleep with any girl that they like if they like a girl and all the girls come up to them and they're filtering through the ones that they like to to get now they never have to face rejection because if all of those girls are coming up to them they never have to worry about do any of those girls like me so that's why guys will say they like girls shooting their shot or coming up to them and things like that because it allows them to not face rejection and they know automatically that if I think you're interesting or attractive or I want to sleep with you it's an automatic yes from you before I even have to do any work so it's essentially a way ironically the men who want you to approach them are the laziest when it comes to relationships because they want to do as little work and get that same result even more efficiently than the guys who are going to do the hunting are you following what I'm saying so you want to make sure that you're not shooting your shot now of course you can be strategic that's what that's what being in the Players Club is you become strategic about understanding how to put yourself in the ey line and eyesight of a guy how to look at him in a particular way and how to get him or Inspire him we should say to strike a conversation with you and then it can go from there but you don't want to be going out of your way to go out and talk to him and start a conversation with him but you can be strategic when you notice him about putting yourself in his eyeline his eyesight and then getting him to approach you we've talked about that before okay right oh we did this one we did this one yesterday I just can't stop looking at you I can't wait to meet your parents I wonder what our kids will look like one day I just hope they have your eyes I just feel like we were meant to be together should we just move in together we have the money well you have the money but this is crazy this is insane this is insane I just that is that that's uh that's insane uh so uh I actually think this is pretty funny here um how he was talking about how guys do when they when they ghost you um like the day before they ghost you it's um there's a there's a larger Point here though you guys know that I like to make things deep there's a larger Point here though understand that there look he's drawing IH heart you on the sand um understand that when guys will overdo it right and you know when a guy's overdoing it and it just especially when he's overdoing it like so for example a guy doing one of these things that you've been dating for six or seven months is not unnatural but when a guy like let's say is doing this all in one day and you're just like wow you're super in love with me you're super interested in me and this is like week number one this type of stuff is very unnatural and I guarantee you he's doing that to try to elicit emotion within you overwhelm you with emotion that way you make mistakes because when you start seeing this you start thinking oh you right I heart you in the sand you tell me you want to spend the rest of my your life with me that means we're basically married and if we're basically married I can basically open my legs and you can jack rabbit yourself inside of me for 90 seconds or less usually less and so by the time you make that mistake and then he's like oh by the way I hurt you like a friend along with my other friends that I'm also seeing halfway and sleeping with as well you'll be like wait what I thought we were going to get married yeah you know like married to our friendship that's not you didn't get that from that you'll be like what don't do it don't make the mistake don't make the mistake uh don't fall for the Malarkey and also take take note of the signs that OV extra you're the most amazing things since sliced bread I can't believe I ever met you and you're just like it's too much it's too much and it's not it's unnatural okay it usually doesn't last people aren't that intense it's just not it's not realistic oops is it Benny boy let's go back to uh the beginning here you better start showing him some interest before you lose his ass too many of y'all try to be these avoidant Ashley's so you can stand back and say well he never reached out that's just a a way for you to alleviate accountability from yourself but let me tell you something ladies he's going to go with the one who shows him interest because it's rewarding see if he's the one who always hitting you up all the time and a couple days go by and he hit you up why are you even questioning should I hit him up or not why are you even playing these games don't you want to find out if he's interested don't you want to show him interest so he says wow she actually is interested thank yes now I want to go in more don't you understand how men work and the answer to that question is no you do not cuz if you did you wouldn't have any problem showing interest to the guy that you actually like because you will find out that that fast that quick of how interested he is in you once you start showing him a little interest that's the easiest vetting route for all you ladies but too many of you guys are trying so hard and you have an image of how this is supposed to go he's supposed to do this he's supposed to do that you've been ticktock ified you've been watching too much [ __ ] you forgot how this works and God forbid if he's a guy out here that you're not his only option sweetheart he's going to go with the one with less friction that's a that's a fact cuz right now you're causing a lot of friction girl you're causing a hell of a lot of friction and it's only for yourself you better start showing okay um I actually think Benny is very wrong here okay nothing wrong with disagreeing with Benny but Benny's very wrong here because here's the mistake that happens when you start thinking in your mind that if he's not showing me Interest I should then in return show him interest so that he knows that I'm interested it's always a mistake remember what I told you guys at uh m in the middle of the show when I said when a guy approaches you that is your confirmation that he's interested in you so after that you don't need to be worried about whether or not he's interested in you so take it as a sign when he stops messaging you either his interest is dwindle or maybe it's shifted to someone else you have to start judging the signs and here's the thing actually he kind of he kind of he's actually proving my point in a weird way by trying to prove his point because at the end here he mentioned you're causing too much friction so let's go over it again here sweetheart he's going to go with the one with less friction God forbid if he is a guy out here that you're not his only option sweetheart he's going to go with the one with less friction that's a that's a fact cuz right now you're causing a lot of friction girl well so so that's the problem right because when you start thinking okay in order to get him to like me I've got to show him interest so that I cause less friction you're becoming a pikm then as soon as you become a pikm think about this if a guy is only choosing you because you cause less friction what is he now he is I think someone even said in the chat he's a microwave man okay meaning that he wants things quick easy and painless how you pop something in the microwave because you don't want to spend a whole bunch of time prepping and cooking he wants to pop you in the microwave so that he doesn't have to prep you cook you do any work for you he wants it to be like Benny just said frictionless but if a guy that you're dating is looking for the Avenue knew that is the most frictionless then he's actually not looking to build with someone or to pursue someone he's looking for essentially someone to make it easy for him by coming to him also but then by the time you do that what do you think a guy in the mindset of I want it to be frictionless is going to be doing in your dates and in terms of Princess treatment he's probably not going to be trying to put his best foot forward why because putting your best foot forward requires consistency sometimes you might be be a little bit frustrated sometimes you might uh feel like you're not getting the most back or sometimes you know you just might feel like damn I'm really putting in a lot of work here that's not frictionless and so you'll end up with a guy that you're in a relationship with that is looking for the easiest route out right looking for the path of least resistance in life and in your relationship but that's not really going to work for you especially at the beginning because you need a guy that's going to be pushing this forward and constantly wanting to see you and get to know you more cuz I guarantee you this is a function what Benny is talking about is a function of the things that men say they want and then when they get it they don't respond to you in a positive manner so what I mean by that is I promise you you take Benny's advice and you start reaching out to guys the moment you think that there's they're not as interested in you do that you'll think oh well the guy messaged me back or I'm spending time with them or blah blah blah blah blah and then after a while you'll wonder well Thomasson how come I'm not getting the same princess treatment that I see these other girls getting I see some of these other guys going head over heels for their girl but I can't get my guy to do that thing for me how come that's the case well that's the reason you chose a guy that was looking for a frictionless path the guys looking for frictionless paths are definitely not looking to go above and beyond for their girl so you have to be choosing the right situation for you and the right combination of things if you want that particular treatment I wish I could show you guys oh man um I want to show you guys guys a video of a Creator um I'm going to go to this next video here in the meantime I'm going to try and show you guys a video of another Creator this is a piece of dating advice that's going to save you years of your life okay when people say to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince and like you're in your early 20s and you know you're dating someone that's like kind of like a loser and you're kind of going well this probably isn't my forever person but you know I'm young and this is the Frog I'm kissing before my prince let me tell you something do you think it's just a frog you're kissing to get to your prince but what's actually happening is the frog said you want to come over I live in a swamp and you're like yeah okay kind of weird cuz I'm a human being and I live in a house like who cares I'll [ __ ] around and chill in a swamp for a bit but then become accustomed to the swamp the neurop Pathways in your brain make you think oh this swamp isn't so bad this swamp basically is a house meanwhile the frog that you knew was a frog starts looking like a prince all of a sudden cuz you don't even know what a prince looks like anymore been hanging out with this frog so long you're like wait a sec is he even an amphibian now you're accustomed to the Frog you're accustomed to the swamp if a prince walked by and offered you a Palace you wouldn't even notice because you have no clue what your standards are anymore nice guys are coming your way you're like ribbit ribbit what I'm telling you here is you think that when you date someone like a bad guy that you just get out of it and you're like I'm reborn now I'm going to date only good guys no the longer you stay with someone that isn't good for you or like whatever you do something to your brain and you can't your standards are all [ __ ] up and let me tell you something all the people I know that are chronically single just keep dating the same guys over and over and over it's not that they're unlovable and it's not that there's no men in the world and it's not what whatever it's that their standards for dating our swamp men frogs they spent too long in the trenches they never they never got out and saw the world think it's harmless but it's not because over time you start to normalize these things and behaviors and relationship expectations then you have kids with a frog your kid is half frog half woman or man and the kids's all weird now this is a piece of dating advice that's going to save you years of your life want you say FR you find your prince and like you're in your earlys and you know you're dating someone that's like kind of like a loser and you're kind of going well this probably isn't my forever person but you know I'm young and this is the Frog I'm kissing before my prince let me tell you something do you think it's just a frog you're kissing to get to your prince but what's actually happening is the frog says you want to come over I live in a swamp and you're like yeah okay kind of weird cuz I'm a human being and I live in a house like who cares I'll [ __ ] around and chill in a swamp for a bit but then become accustomed to the swamp the neurop Pathways in your brain make you think oh this swamp isn't so bad this swamp basically is a house meanwhile the frog that you knew was a frog starts looking like a prince all of a sudden cuz you don't even know what a prince looks like anymore been hanging out with this frog so long you're like wait a sec is he even an amphibian now you're accustomed to the Frog you're accustomed to the swamp if a prince walked by and offered you a palace you wouldn't even notice because you have no clue what your standards are anymore nice guys are coming your way you're like ribbit ribbit what I'm telling you here is you think that when you date someone like a bad guy that you just get out of it and you're like I'm reborn now I'm going to date only good guys no the longer you I wanted to find you guys this video of this girl her name is Nanie I think her name was and uh I wanted to show it to you guys I couldn't find it though but I wanted to show it to you guys it was this uh this Creator she was with uh she was dating a a white guy a white guy um but you know like the type of treatment she was getting other girls were are like damn where do you find this type of guy I just wanted to give it as an example of you have to understand what it is you're looking for in terms of treatment and things like that and yeah you might not end up with the guy who is uh let's say looks like I don't know um you know Michael B Jordan um and you can still end up with an attractive guy who attracts women that looks good that has money that has all the things that you're looking for but you just have to understand that in the process of looking for what you're looking for you're also looking for treatment as well so you have to factor that in in the guys that you even entertain right you have to be looking as um at that as one of the qualities that you're assessing right how do you treat me what's your level of interest in me because if you don't have a very high level of interest in me I'm probably not going to be able to be in a relationship with you for real because I'm not going to be I'm going to have to beg for a good treatment from you and so part of being a woman as well is uh it's unfortunate but is finding guys that will treat you well not just guys that look good or just guys that look good and have money or guys that whatever right you have to get a guy also that is willing and and more than willing to treat you well and do the things for you actually it perfectly aligns with this video uh because she's talking about how you can become used to poor treatment or horrible treatment from guys thinking that oh I guess like that's just the thing that everyone goes through or that's just the thing that everyone does and though and so when a guy does come along and wants to treat you well you can't even recognize that because that hasn't even been the life that you you've been living you understand what I'm saying so um it's uh it's it's very unfortunate but one of the things you have to look out for is the treatment there okay you can't can't ignore the treatment whatsoever and I like the analogy that she gave with the Frog cuz after a while of bring being in that damn swamp you won't even know what the what the castle looks like anymore let's go to our next one if you're wondering what a man thinks about when it comes to situationships this is it right here I'm going to call it like it is and I hate to break your heart but all men see it as is just glorified booty call that is right you are glorified booty call you are like the worker that puts in all the work that stays late that you know does work they're not paid for free overtime refills the water does things they do goes above and beyond everyone else thinking they're going to get promoted yet they never do and maybe at best you get a pizza party for your hard work but Eli he's he's holding my hand Eli he he I met his mom Eli I went to the family cook out I don't care all I hear is you enabling being a ren a girlfriend all I hear is you enabling the perfect situation for him men will keep you in a situationship and Friends of benefits forever and why wouldn't they it's an amazing situation because just cuz he like because just because you like him don't mean he likes you just because you want to be with him doesn't mean he wants to be with you and honestly I don't feel bad for you because you have yet to verbalize your needs and wants and just accepted what is in front of you and to want more which you can and should ask for more if you want it but you're probably going to get denied because you already accepted to pay $50 at a restaurant for table bread and now you want a Tomahawk Steak a man ain't going to give it to you cuz why would he and by you accepting the fact that you just want to be casual he already psychologically puts you in a side piece bucket not the wifey bucket and if you're struggling to get out of it it's not really a struggle because it's not an actual relationship I always tell people if you're struggling to get out of a situationship it's like telling me you're drowning in an inflatable baby pool girl just stand up and you can't stand up because you won't accept it take advantage of the power that you have you are what you allow and what you enable you beautiful person you and if you need help to grow set boundaries like never before Link in the bio my 8we healing Boot Camp starts so uh 8 week healing boot camp damn he gonna be healing you a lot so um uh it's good what he said was good here and I actually like uh some of the things that he mentioned right you just you can't waste a whole bunch of your time waiting for a situation to change I know that he calls a situationship right but waiting for a situation to change and you does you can't live the delusion is so easy to fall into it's so easy to fall into I know it is that you're convincing yourself that this situation is not a situationship um and it's just a a thing that's going on on at the moment because of these particular circumstances but the reality of it is the circumstances never change and they always adjust to fit whatever narrative is necessary for the situation to continue you will waste years of your life we actually in our Discord had someone be in a situation A friends with benefit situationship for 10 years 10 years she spent in a situationship friends with benefits and never once did she get made a girlfriend it sounds like a horror story but it can happen to you if you wait if you just sit there hoping for things to change do not like I say gauge men's interest in you from the very beginning something you should be taking notice of do you do you does it come easy to you to treat me well does it come easy to you to actually take uh put your best foot forward and actually try to um you know be the best man for me if that doesn't come easy for you um that's probably not the guy that you should be choosing or looking looking towards because at the end of the day um if you if you find yourself invested in a man who you have to beg just to treat you right or to do anything for you you're going to be very very miserable the entire relationship okay does that make sense right someone says I did it for four years because the pineapples was good I mean yeah but after the 4 years you have to be thinking about future you as well you can't just be thinking about qu you so after the 4 years do you have memories of sleeping with the guy what is that really worth to you the memories of sleeping with the guy that you're not going to be able to build a relationship with that you're not going to be able to get married with that uh you're not going to and actually in the four years that you were sleeping with that guy you might have missed out on some great guys that you could have been with now so think about it like that as well not only are you wasting time but you're also possibly wasting energy because it's focused on this guy that you're sleeping with but you might miss along the way an amazing guy that would have been ready to do all the things for you that might have even amazing more amazing schlong for you have more money and want to give you princess treatment but you missed him along the way because you were so focused on the Friends with Benefits he sad but it's possible all right let's go to our um next segment here you guys know what our next segment is uh it's a crazy segment uh for those of you who are unsure you got to spam it up in the chat if you you know what segment is coming next I want to know if you know what segment is coming next tell me in the chat if you know what segment is coming next all right don't look at your clock don't look at your watch don't look at your phone don't look anywhere else in your home it's a special time it's an amazing time it's a time where you're going to laugh and you're going to cry okay if you don't know I'm will tell you so you know is [Laughter] score okay uh let's hop into our Discord for those of you who are confused don't you worry you learn something new Discord time is essentially where all the amazing members of our Discord Players Club Community uh get an opportunity to ask me a question um about their relationship or situationship and I answer it live on the show so you have multiple ways of submitting your question um that you can do here so we have our regular relationship advice section um here where you can submit your question you just format it the way you um we all do it here and uh you can drop it in there now you do that by going over to the link in my bio or the link in my description on YouTube okay Link in my bio on Tik Tok you'll get there and you go to relationship advice and you drop your question now you can see all these highlighted questions that's because I haven't answered them yet so our oldest one is about 20 something days old so it's going to take me a couple of weeks to get to your question if it's in the free section cuz I got to go first come first serve now if you don't want to wait a whole bunch of time to get your question answered because you're impatient that's perfectly fine you have another option here which is to drop your question in our relationship advice premium section where I you get to skip the line it's like a VIP pass at a theme park cuz I do these VIP or VIP I do these premium questions before I do the relationship advice free questions and you do that you get access to the premium by donating to the show so when you go into my Tik Tok link and bio or the description you click where it says uh premium relationship advice you donate to the show and it's going to prompt you to put your uh title of your question and your Discord username that way I get a notification on my phone and I can see and verify that that's you and that's your question and you paid for that question um that way we keep it fair for all the other members of the Discord now if you also want to ask me a question and get my advice but you just don't want your information out for every everyone to see or your situation for everyone to see you can also send me a private relationship advice question which a lot of you have been doing and um you can ask me through uh our private relationship device section as well um it's available in the link in here um inside our Discord or in the link in my bio or the link in my description where it says private relationship advice you click that fill out the form you donate to the show and I will answer your question uh through via your email and I'll send you a voice message okay and I'm going to be the only one that sees your message so it's uh confidential and no one else will see it okay so let's get started with our first premium question or of the day which comes from sis okay uh should I not go out with him today it's Anna on Wednesday we went out to uh Sushi and Jim he said he wanted to take me out on Friday uh and Sunday he said Friday afternoon or something along those lines and didn't specify what time but he said after his Pilot test I replied this morning to his last message that he sent yesterday night and told him good luck on his Pilot test he replied at noon saying thank you and that he just finished the test and good news that he passed uh the first test which he took a week ago I said that's I miss my place I said that's great congrats 30 minutes after that he replied and said thank you did did we plan a time today sorry I can't remember what do I say I don't have other plans so I can go with him and I want to but at the same time I don't want him to get into the habit of not setting a time what do I respond to fix his behavior for the future do I not go out with him or do I go out with him but end it really short because I have other plans also what do you think I should text back if I'm not supposed to go with him do I tell him what my other plans are like or do I say I have a family dinner or something I added a screenshot in case I confuse you by the way Habibi and habibti are just Arabic words people call each other when dating uh he just tried to FaceTime me now it's been 2 hours since he sent that message but I'm not replying or opening his message or FaceTime until you see it so I can get your opinion to know if it's better to go with him or without him thank you Thompson so so let's see your question here let's see your the screenshot here um good luck on your test thank you just got some good news I passed the test that's great uh congrats thank you uh did we plan a time uh today sorry I can't remember I think for the situation that you're in Anna cuz obviously I know there's some backstory to your situation and you've been seeing this guy for a couple of months now um I think you can simply respond with no we didn't set a time and then allow him the space to to set the time if he wants to set the time okay um I don't think you have to go crazy and say oh you didn't set the time you're such an idiot blah blah blah blah and like make something up that you're doing if you're free that's fine if it fits within like the rule of like not seeing him too much if you're and you're free that's fine but just answer the question straight and say no uh we didn't set a time and then allow him to go from there you're not going to be like oh well so uh yeah we didn't set a time so when are you free and I'm free at exactly three print no let him say oh we didn't set a time okay when are you free then you respond with the time that you're free then he says okay that works for me or okay that doesn't work for me does this time you're going to go back and forth until you figure out the time that works for you guys both then you go out on the date and I think that that's perfectly fine okay he's clearly asking to see you and I get it's not ideal because you know he didn't set the time ahead of time and I understand why you don't want that to become a reoccurring thing uh but I don't think in this specific case that he means any cuz he's obviously gone out on multiple dates with you before and I don't think he means any harm by asking you um if you guys have set a time or not and I think you can simply just respond with we didn't set a time and then allow him to take the lead from there now if what for whatever reason he didn't set a time and then you he didn't respond to you after that or just ignore that message then that's something to be wary of but I don't think you have anything to be concerned of okay uh let's go to our next question here which comes from uh oh no that that was it in the premium so now we can go to our our free section here and get get some of these free ones out the way uh our first one comes from missy B okay missy B says I want to know if I should stay or if I should leave or stay okay I am 21 and I started dating I started dating thing guy what I think you might say I started dating a guy 26 about two months ago we met on Facebook okay that's a first nice Facebook better than hinge guys like Facebook dating I know they have Facebook dating you should have said that uh he sent me a DM or maybe it wasn't Facebook dating and I replied and we hit it off instantly it's a DM so that's not really hitting it off it's a DM you don't really know the person we would talk literally every single day you meant say for hours calls texts everything yeah starts great over text at the beginning I wonder where this goes after that he asked me to be his girlfriend in about two weeks and I said yes Let's uh let's take an early break here chat let's take an early break here let's take an early break here let's get a quick stretch out oh god wow wow okay wow that's that's the real Facebook Marketplace huh that's uh when they said Facebook Marketplace I didn't think that was the marketplace you guys were on I got to realign my chakras here get a nice stretch in make sure everything's all good I want to be nice and relaxed when I answer your question crack my back stretch it out okay you start messaging a guy on Facebook Mark Marketplace basically basically Facebook dating is like Facebook Marketplace okay you're messaging him and with first of all you're not hitting it off with someone that you don't know and you've never met okay that's not hitting it off because realist re like I hate to burst your bubble but it could be a 75y old like scrawny Asian man behind that profile okay like I just mean that to say it literally could be anyone it could even be a 75-year-old Karen behind that profile you have no idea who's behind that profile you really don't and so I just say that to say you're saying we hit it off as if you've actually met the person you you haven't okay I know it feels like you have but you haven't on top of that it's only been two week I just wow I don't think we have we ever had someone asked to be a girlfriend that that that early in that's not natural that's not normal that's not any either he believes that that actually is how he feels and he's really really confused in which case you can't build a you don't want to be building a relationship with a guy like that or he's using that to manipulate you in which case you still don't want to be building a relationship with someone like that because calling and texting doesn't mean anything and asking someone to be your girlfriend that you haven't met in person is Absolut abolutely ridic that's absolutely ridiculous absolutely ridiculous note we are long distance he lives in another country about 6 or seven hours away from me but it's only because he is going to college there but he lives in the country I live in so what's your what's your point are you justifying that he asked you to be his girlfriend in two weeks over Facebook Messenger because he lives in another country that's not a that's not a justification okay um so you can wait till you guys meet each other uh at least a couple times before he makes that decision so about 2 weeks ago he came home for a little break from school and we finally met and it was an amazing experience the date lasted like 2 [Music] days oh oh my God oh my God what did I just tell you guys about keeping the dates short and sweet and your first date lasted two days and we slept together let's see how this continues to go let's see maybe I have no idea how this will go I maybe I'm just completely confused shortly after he had to leave the country and go back to school I was sad glad to see him go especially since the next time I get to see him will be until Christmas but I became a extremely attached to him more and more now since we had pineapples what I noticed about him is now he doesn't call at all unless I make the first move boy oh boy he even text me less and less and he went an entire two days without talking to me before so I called him out about it and he claimed he was busy with school and tired but mind you before we literally fell asleep on FaceTime every single night right before he jack rabbited himself inside of you I what I want you guys to understand is guys can also be horned up and excited so it's funny as they're horned up they're more excited to talk to to you because they they're feeling the buildup of eventually being able to sleep with you and the fantasy is building in their mind so their peeee is standing straight up cuz they're excited to talk to you knowing sleeping with you was just on the horizon and every time they talk to you or have a phone convers I guarantee you when you guys were having the phone and FaceTime conversations he was dirty talking with you as well and you probably pulled your pants down to your ankles and you took a couple of pictures for him and sent it to him while you guys were talking over that phone as well or at least you guys dirty talked and every time you do that he's wanking himself wanking himself fantasizing about it just a little bit more wanking and wanking and wanking he can't wait for the day he's going to burst inside you and finally he gets to see you and of course the first time he sees you he bursts himself all over you and now it's done the excitement is gone you have to start getting good at understanding that a lot of that over-the-top excitement is really a lot of times it's horned up excitement or it's man some sort of manipulation because that's unnatural for guys to do when they first meet like let's go on so why is it different all of a sudden now I just explained it anyways so even after I told him about it he is still distant see this is what you need to understand telling guys that they're not speaking to you not reaching out to you not texting you not not talking to you as frequently honestly it does nothing that's why I advise most of you whenever you peep that to just take a step back yourself cuz truthfully and honestly there's different reasons to communicate with someone what's going on with you and what's bothering you but in the scenario where you're talking to a guy and what's bothering you is the frequency in which he reaches out to you or talks to you there's no point addressing that because that's not like a compatibility thing that's not like a misunderstanding thing that's just a he doesn't want to talk to you thing so when you addess that thinking you're communicating what's really going to happen is nothing he's not going to change as much as he communicates to you or how frequently he messages you he might message you a little bit more for the next hour or two but he's going to go right back to what he was doing if not totally ignore your message and so you're wasting breath because guys will still end up only talking to you as much as they want to anyways uh that he is still distant to me so I started giving him back the same energy I stopped replying and calling and eventually he started to text me more frequently not like before but more than how it was recently but he still doesn't call me anymore because he has no more wank fantasy he was wank into the fantasy of sleeping with you he slept with you now there's no more wank fantasy I want to know if I should I want to know if I should leave him alone or continue to give him energy he is giving me although that method is kind of working but our relationship is not fully back to how it was before will it ever be the same uh has he lost feelings for me or just gotten comfortable with me okay I see a lot of people gave you some advice uh oh sorry this is you I forgot to mention our conversations were very serious we spoke about marriage kids he wants it all of course he does when he's wanking himself off that's part of Dirty Talk oh I want to marry you oh my God we're going to build such a great big family family oh when I burst inside you you're going to be impregnated it's dirty talk you sometimes you guys got to you guys got to notice that right like for some guys as well you're thinking oh we were talking about like having children and building a family and getting married like for some guys that's part of the fantasy like that's part of the dirty talk I'm going to bust a nut inside you and we're going to have children I'm going to impregnant like that's dirty talk you're thinking in your mind oh he's being so sweet and he's being so nice nice and he's telling me about how much he wants me but like that's the that's part of the wank fantasy I'm not saying that to be mean to you but I just want you to understand sometimes cuz I know some of you are confused about that but for some men especially the men that are doing this at the very beginning that's the wank fantasy that's not the what he really wants out of you because that's just like like who says that to someone they haven't like he's saying this to you before actually ever meeting you imagine that the guy the guy is telling you he wants to marry you and have kids with you and he has not even met you in person he doesn't he doesn't even he can't even verify if that's actually you he does he probably doesn't even know your last name he probably he probably doesn't even have your other social accounts cuz you guys are meeting on Facebook Marketplace does he even have your other I'm dropping stuff I I need let me give me a second cuz this I'm I'm going to get frustrated I got to pick up my stuff it just this is ridiculous what are you doing here he was engaged in his last relationship but she cheated on him I even introduced him to my m [Music] [Music] [Music] no no no no no why why has the evil taken my [Music] people the evil has taken my people I've got to fight harder than Facebook Marketplace Facebook Marketplace is trying to take my people and swallow them up and have them no I won't let them do it I won't let Facebook Marketplace do it I've got to be here every day you introduced a man that you introduced a man that you just met to your mother that you started chitchatting with on Facebook Marketplace why are you doing this no I why are you doing this you why are you doing this to your mother don't you value your mother and value her time why are you introducing your mother to people you met on Facebook Marketplace I don't understand I I don't I don't understand what before you even introduce him to your mother why don't you take the time to see if you actually like the guy or know anything about the guy or can confirm any of the things that he told you over Facebook Marketplace is true I miss how it used to be but at the same time I'm not about to stick around to deal with someone who is giving me half the attention he used to give me delete Facebook Market delete Facebook the app delete all meta related apps Facebook Instagram what delete them all delete all your social medias let's put down the phone okay put down the phone we don't even need you having a a a a a landline okay get get rid of your landline we actually turn off your W I'm going we need to go to your house we need to disconnect your internet okay no more internet for you cuz you're going to find a way to talk to people on some sort of marketplace if you're not if you have internet I really mean this missy B though like this get this man out of your life block him because and I don't mean block him for him block him for yourself so you're not tempted to message him about anything cuz clearly you're a message Warrior you're capable of doing the calls and the texts all the time please stop wasting your time I'm trying to tell you 99% of these guys you guys think you're in longdistance relationships with you have nothing with 99% of the time they just want the the wank fantasy of talking to you you know over the phone and when they meet you it's just to sleep with you and then poof nothing you wasted two weeks of your life why like you okay you have you have plenty of things you could have been doing with your time in this two weeks other than being on the phone with him every day texting him every day and calling him every day it's such a waste of your time on top of the fact really and truthfully is yeah he came to to see you the one time but really and truthfully is he going to do that consistently to build a relationship with you no he can't even be bothered to text you after he sleeps with you so you have like you have to start identifying like he was only texting you and calling you to eventually sleep with you once he did that he couldn't even be bothered to text you anymore so do you really think for the rest of your relationship he's going to even be bothered to like go drive six or seven hours to come and see you absolutely not so missy B I'm going to keep keep it simple for you don't waste your time or energy at all don't even bother texting him anymore and even if he texts you don't answer him block him every single place you could possibly get in contact with him okay that includes Facebook Marketplace don't even allow him to sell you items block him on eBay so he can't sell you anything on there and start a message with you okay block him everywhere if he's if he puts stuff up up for sale on on wish if he puts stuff up for sale on Poshmark if he puts stuff off off for sale on a secondhand store don't don't go anywhere we don't want you messaging him or contacting him for anything in any Marketplace whatsoever I really mean that Miss because this is a complete and utter waste of your time a guy who tells you that he wants you to be his girlfriend over the phone after the first two weeks of talking to you over the phone is absolutely in la la land and you're in la la land if you're thinking that this guy is someone you should be entertaining okay I know that you want love and I know that you're really hungry and thirsty for love which is why you wanted to believe that this was real it it doesn't work like this it really doesn't okay and and unfortunately anytime a guy makes you feel like it's going that intense that fast he's only manipulating you to get what he wants from you okay I wonder if that guy even knows your last name in all the conversations that you guys had okay um cuz you're talking about you guys had serious conversations but like I said marriage and kids can be part of the wank fantasy so don't think that guys are talking about marriag and kids but it's it's meant to be serious sometimes guys are talking about that and that's part of the wank fantasy cuz when they bust a nut in you they want to be like Oh I'm impregnating you it sounds stupid and it sounds ridiculous but it's honestly the truth and I'm trying to give you the perspective so you don't get fooled in the future thinking anytime a guy talks to me about marriage or kids when when he first meets me that that means he actually wants to be with me no it doesn't that that's part of the wank fantasy um and so all of this was a waste of time I would you need to apologize to your mom for wasting her time don't do that anymore I know that you're young don't be introducing random strangers to your mom okay uh don't do that because your mom is supposed to be sacred in terms of like meeting someone you really taking seriously and like you really want to build with like that should be the step that you take when you're sure of the person you don't introduce your mom to strangers why because she's not going to be able to take the actual person you're taking seriously when you constantly introduce her to strangers keep that sacred don't don't don't waste your mom's time like that even by introducing her to randos that that you met in Facebook Marketplace okay uh block him everywhere turn off your Wi-Fi okay let's go to our next one okay let's go to our next one uh Haley I've never seen Haley spelled like that that is crazy okay Haley says should I initiate conversation with him so last month I met a guy when I was on a night out with my friends so the club or or the bar we had an instant spark at the club or the bar drunk I think there was a spark in his pants not a spark between you and we straight away got to talking and it was like we've known each other our whole lives oh my God don't you guys see you guys get fed the same lines all the time this is not real going out being drunk having drunk you know hyper conversation with someone you just met doesn't mean you guys are getting along I get it you know I was young too at one point and I thought going out and being drunk with people and me and when we start having conversations we're laughing I thought these were all going to be my best friends for life and oh my God all these people I'm literally in love with and everything is going amazing the reality of it is when you have drunk energy and you're out on a night out and you're partying and the music's blasting and you got the 808 pumping through your chest and your adrenaline's rushing you got sugar in your veins everyone seems like your best friend the truth of the matter is when you wake up on Monday morning you don't have as many best friends as you had on Saturday night okay it's just a painful realization that we all have to go through that goes to friends and that goes to uh romantic Partners as well okay not saying this to demonize drinking I used to drink a lot before I quit as well but it's just part of the feeling that you get whenever you meet people on a night out it's if you meet someone on a good night out it can feel like oh my God we're going to be together forever let's see how you feel about that same person on a Tuesday afternoon when there's no drinking involved and no music okay very different I should mention that he is a little bit older than me we did end up making out for a while but nothing else happened I mean you're in the club I would hope nothing else happen you're in the club or the bar how much can happen in there unless he took you into the bathroom that would be ridiculous he lives in a different city and he was in my city on holiday so I didn't get the chance to see him again before he had to travel back home after that we started messaging and talking for a while every couple of days uh every couple of days of talking uh the conversation would come to an end he would usually wait a couple of days and then message again except for this time this time as the conversation was about to end and there was no way of replying to his last message I just liked the message and did not reply he has not messaged again and it's been almost two weeks should I be the one to initiate another conversation since he has always been the one to do that I see how maybe my La lack of reciprocation can be understood as though I am not in as though I am not interested because I was never the one to start the conversation with him no this is justification but everyone keeps telling me that it's his job to initiate conversation in this stage if he wanted to he would message absolutely should I wait and see if he would ever message again or should I message him do not message him okay do not message him for any reason whatsoever don't reach out to him for any reason whatsoever okay what I want you to understand he's a little bit older right you didn't say your your age in the message I'm assuming you're old enough to drink in whatever country that you live in so let's assume at least you're 19 or something uh here's the thing you have to understand meeting someone on a night out and having a good time with them on a night out doesn't mean that you guys are actually compatible or anything at all when you meet someone on a drunk night out 90% of the time it's just going to be the drunk night out or at the most it might end up being you guys constantly go out get drunk and do whatever together but for the most part especially when you're meeting someone on a drunk night out that doesn't live in your city and they're just there visiting or something like that I I can assure you majority of the time that conversation is going to die off and I'm not saying that like I don't want to turn you into a pesimist that doesn't believe anything good can happen but like let's just be so realistic when someone comes to visit your city and they're getting drunk and they're just out with friends they're just there to have a good time for that weekend when that weekend is over they go back to having their normal everyday regular life meaning they go back to work they have their friends in their City they have their problems in their City their family all their stresses all their stuff is in their city where they're from and they go back to reality after visiting that City and so I just say that to say like your expectation is that because you guys made out and had a good little chitchat while drunk at in your city you're thinking he's going to go back to his City and want to continue that but in reality you have no idea what he's what's going on in his life back in his City he could be married he could have a girlfriend he could be in another talking stage with a different girl or he could very simply just say to himself I am not going to I think she's cool to make out with on a random night out but I don't have any intention of actually being with her or actually you know being in a relationship ship with her so why the hell am I going to message her consistently when I know I'm not going to that City and in the near future and what you're probably going to notice is up until you're not going to hear from him again until the next time he's about to go to your city so I guarantee you the next time he'll probably message you is when he's about 3 to 4 days from coming to your city so that that the the beginning of that week when he's about to be in your city that weekend that's when you're going to get a message from him as basically like a heads up that way he can invite you out you guys can maybe go out together you can meet him there and he's probably thinking I could probably get a smash that same weekend because I already met her a previous weekend that's really the only time you're probably going to see a message from this guy other than that I wouldn't be banking on ever getting a message from him again simply because he's now moved forward to his own City it was great to message you the first couple of days coming off the high of seeing you last and things like that but I guarantee you as the time went on he's going back to his reality and he's not going to be messaging you consistently as if he's trying to date you cuz he's not I'm not saying that you're a bad person uh Haley I'm not saying that you're not worthy of a guy wanting to date you I just want you to understand that making out with you on a random night out doesn't mean that he actually wants to pursue you or be in a relationship with you and so you need to realize that and just cut your losses cuz now you're stressing over a guy that I don't think is even really thinking of you to be honest with you um and I think depending on how drunk he was he might may or may not even be able to identify you in a crowd okay and I really mean that you'll be surprised when people get drunk sometimes they don't be remembering stuff so you're thinking this meant a lot and it might not mean that much to him I say that to say don't waste any more of your time or energy wondering what he's doing or why he's not messaging you I think you should just move on okay and like your friends told you if he really wanted to pursue this he would just pursue this and talk to you more guys don't just forget about you randomly meaning that if he been contacting you and he's been messaging you he didn't just randomly stop because he thought you were just don't justify don't tell yourself a story don't build a narrative in your head you're only building that narrative because you want to message him cuz now you're anxious it's all untrue the real truth is he's just not interested in you okay you got to swallow that pill it's a tough pill to swallow once you swallow it digest it you poop it through your system you'll understand and you'll be okay and you can move forward and actually meet a guy who wants to be with you okay but that's the first step let's go to our next one here I'm going to do do a couple um let's go to k so K says advice uh 20y old female college student what did I do wrong in this situation and how can I be better in the future I met a guy last October during my second year excuse me uh he asked for my number and we started texting we met at the library after a day of texting where he helped me with my homework later on we watched a movie in his room we met at the library after a day of texting so later on that day after meeting in the library we watched a movie in his room and hugged but that was it the next day so the second day after meeting him in the library I went over again and things escalated where we kissed and he went down on me I slept over but made it clear that I wasn't ready for pineapples he mostly wanted to see me on weekends and rarely made an effort to meet during the week despite us being in the same school I began to suspect I wasn't the only girl he was talking to especially since he frequently texted another girl how would you know that he claimed they were just friends and that he he was supporting her because she was feeling like unal living herself now obviously that's not a joke that's not what I'm laughing at what I'm laughing at is guys don't do things things for no reason I'll just say that okay but it made me uncomfortable I got attached to him because of how close we were physically even though we weren't officially dating we initially told each other we weren't looking for something s okay why why would you tell a guy that you're not looking for something serious what are you expecting out of a guy that you told you're not looking for something serious chat this gets me really upset please K and any of you that have done this before stop doing this if just stop doing it whatsoever for any reason if you know you're not looking for anything serious just don't even bother talking to guys cuz all that's going to happen is you're going to say that at the beginning you're going to have fun with the guy and then down the road you're going to be saying yeah I know I was looking for something serious before but now that I've been enjoying myself I want this to be more than just fun and he's going to say wo whoa I was just having fun with you no takebackspace and don't be approaching guys from the standpoint of I'm not looking for something serious cuz future you will be very angry at yourself now for making that decision and making that statement please never do that never and if you really aren't looking for something serious don't even date the guy okay I just said it because I wanted to seem laid-back and not to into him that's a mistake that is a mistake you don't don't ever be thinking about how to be the fun girl or the yes girl you think about how to set boundaries and expectations and and be clear on what you expect that's all you think about not how to be the yes girl or the fun girl there were times where I felt pressured to have pineapples but I always said no of course you feel pressured to have pineapples when your pants are at your ankles actually your pants are off and your legs are spread wide open and his face is buried in between your legs obviously you're going to feel pressure to have pineapples then there's a lot of pressure in between your legs like oh my God K you cannot put yourself in temptation's way and then wonder why you're feeling it's very hard to say no it starts even not even just with taking off your clothes but going over to his his room okay cuz he's probably in the dorms going over to his room that's all once you're in his room in his laying in his bed and it's just you and him that's already a recipe for disaster especially if you don't know how to like say no or stand your ground or to like like literally like not put yourself in that position like that's already the start of something bad you can't be doing that and so you're saying that and then you're saying now your legs are open and stuff like that and he's he's he's going down on you and obviously you're making it so hard for yourself to continue saying no like you're doing that to yourself by putting yourself in that position okay someone says what does pineapple means it's scx okay we just can't say it all the time on the show The platforms are sensitive he once accused me of lying and being a virgin he apologized but things were never the same he started ghosting me for months and on my birthday in January he didn't wish me happy birthday until much later what do you mean like until like the days after your birthday what the hell I blocked blocked his number in insta after being tired of waiting to hear from him in may he messaged me on Whatsapp you should just block that too saying he missed me he mentioned he'd switched colleges but didn't tell me he asked for intimate photos is this a tell me you added this as a joke tell me that you added this part as a joke there's no way there's no way that on on the first message is back when he just got hold of you after you blocking him on everything he messages you on WhatsApp and within 24 hours he's asking you to take pictures of you in the mirror with your pants at your ankles of your dump truck which I refused wanting serious talk how did you possibly actually continue to talk to him after that no no no like do you not have any respect for yourself like what would even what would even make you say the guy that approached you blocked the man instead of him showing remorse for what he did he tell tells you he switched colleges says he miss you and then asks you to go take a picture of your dump truck in the mirror with your pants at your ankles and you actually are still thinking about entertaining a conversation with him I don't I don't get it I I just I don't I don't I don't understand why you can't draw a boundary I don't understand it you I don't understand why you can't draw a boundary here I think you just don't respect yourself the call ended quickly I can't believe you even called him or you guys even spoke on the phone he didn't call back as promised so I blocked him everywhere my friend said he wasn't good for my mental health and advise me to stop trying you should to avoid being used by guys especially since I'm introverted how can I ensure I don't end up in a situation where someone doesn't value me uh very simple you don't go over to their room sleep over and spread your legs and allow him to go down on you that's number one so it starts with being aware of how things can escalate stop going over to guys houses okay I I really mean that you're in college right you're in college you're in school that's one of the worst things you can do okay as someone who attended un both University and college I know what it's like especially when you're in your first couple of years and people are living on residence do not be going over to guys residence don't be going into to their rooms don't be going over to their dorms don't be going over to their Apartments none of that okay they're all horned up if a guy wants to date you he can date you there's lots of public areas for you guys to hang out on campus there's lots of public places for you guys to do things and hang out and spend time and walk around if he really wants to get to know you you can study together you can go to study hall you can go to the library you can go to the um eating cafeteria lots of place for you guys to spend time the guys that are trying to get you straight into their room or into dorm uh they're trying to pull some fast stuff on you okay so that's number one number two is to be honest with you um I really think you got to vet guys that you are that are even telling you they want to date you so if he's telling you he wants to date you he needs to actually be dating you not just you know seeing you and hanging out with you on study hall if he really is serious about dating you then he should be taking you out for a date not just hanging out with you in the library and then wanking himself off to your dirty talk on the phone okay or your pictures that's not dating and even in college I don't care how broke you guys are as college students you can use some of that little extra money you got um that you're uh getting for your food and your meals that he can take you out on a date if he's really that serious you need to be gauging if the guys that you're dating are really that serious because I think that's your mistake K you're assuming that guys are serious simply because they're talking to you and you're not understanding that guys are horned up in college and they could be talking to you just to sleep with you not because they're seriously trying to get to know you right and that's the confusing part for you so you need to be not going over to any guy's house not getting drunk with him not getting high with him cuz guys are going to do that a lot in college too they want to get you drunk or they want to get you high because they know you'll start making mistakes when you do that you don't need to be doing any of that stuff with the guys that you're talking to um or that are saying they want to date you up until you guys have actually established trust here and this is actually like your boyfriend type of thing okay uh not anytime before that because anytime before that the guys are just going to use that to their advantage they're either going to pressure you or they're going to put you in a position where you feel like you want to say yes because you're so tempted now okay cuz I guarantee you enough times that you sleep over and a guy eats you out you're going to eventually say yes okay so one of the one of one of these times that a guy comes over he's going to be good at what he does and he's going to go down on you nice and you're going to feel so good about you're going to be like all right put it in me and you're going to lose your mind and you're just going to be a lot of mistakes mistake Vil we don't want that for you so you got to vet those guys and don't don't don't be allowing things to escalate by going over to their house in the first place definitely not guys that you're just meeting as well okay all right chat so uh that's the show for today if you guys have any questions on me or uh you that you want to ask me and you want me to advise you on you can go ahead and put your question in relationship advice premium um or our private relationship advice you access both of those through the link in my description on YouTube or the link in my bio on Tik Tok let me go over to uh our donations here we had one donation that came from Nicole thank you Nicole Nicole be donating all the time I appreciate you Nicole Nicole says you already know why I'm sending this LOL no matter how many stretch breaks you take today have an awesome weekend we love you Thompson thank you so much Nicole I love all of you as well okay I probably love you all you all more all right so uh for those of you who are wanting to follow me on Instagram and you know get a little bit more up close and personal with me my Instagram is right above my head on the top left corner of the screen you can follow me there it's just Thompson unor and for those of you on YouTube it's just Thompson unor it's on the bottom right corner of the screen as well okay for those of you who are on Tik Tok and you missed parts of our our chat here or parts of our show or maybe you came and you're like I wanted to know the points you can go onto my YouTube page this is Thomasson atella just type in my first name you don't even need to type all the rest and then uh once you type in my name on YouTube you'll be able to go over to the live show right and you'll be able to see go in the live section of my YouTube page you'll be able to see this live stream along with all the other live streams I've done since the beginning of time and the best part is you'll have the YouTube and Tik Tok live chat embedded in the video so you don't miss a second of conversation okay uh for those of you wondering I'm here every weekday Monday to Friday if you ever want to know when to catch me right on time um every weekday Monday to Friday at 400 p.m. Eastern Standard time so I'm not going to be here tomorrow obviously today's Friday and I'll be here again on Monday Okay so until then goodbye for now Austin Lista sign now child Salam adios uh BN voyage and I will see you all again on Monday also I'll see you on YouTube cuz I'll be posting on YouTube throughout the weekend all right have a great resty weekend stay safe try not not to get played by guys and um you know have a good great awesome loving amazing weekend okay bye