It took me four years and a pandemic to change one letter from FOMO to Fomo. FOMO stands for the fear of missing out. It is a deep-seated phenomenon, but when we peel the layers off, we discover the core of it. Social comparison. Social comparison is worsened by the excessive use of social media.
We believe our perception is the reality. The constant stream of posts encapsulating luxurious vacations, impressive career achievements, and vibrant parties often lead to the disappointment, distraction, and dissatisfaction with oneself. FOMO is the feeling of unease and anxiety when we see others having more enjoyable life experiences than us.
Fortunately, there is an antidote to this phenomenon, Fomo. which stands for the joy of missing out. Well, what is Fomo?
It is a powerful shift in one's mindset to find contentment in quiet and independent activities that boost self-growth and fulfillment. It's one's ability to focus in the present moment and give themselves the required me-time which energizes and regenerates us. But do not get me wrong.
Jomo is not about running away from social gatherings. Instead, it's about finding activities that give you fulfillment. Now, let me take you through my journey. During my seventh grade, I often experienced boredom and disconnection unless I was scrolling through Instagram or Snapchat.
Eventually, this habit transformed into an addiction. I would spend hours senselessly staring and analyzing at my iPhone screen to ensure that I was not missing out on anything fascinating my friends or celebrities were up to. With just a single click on a notification, I was transported into an enthralling world filled with stories and events. My parents noticed that I felt upset not being invited to meetups and missing out on the mainstream fun people were having. This made me feel uncomfortable.
and reluctant to be myself and as a result, I experienced a variety of pessimistic emotions, anxiety and insecurities which I now identify as FOMO. Paradoxically, the way I dealt with this unwanted phenomenon was through social avoidance. I hid away from my friends and family, surrounding myself with fears and thoughts. Eventually, my internal turmoil manifested physically as eczema patches. my body could no longer concede my emotions.
Come March 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic had a profound impact on us all. For me, it pressed the reset button. It was the catalyst for my changed mindset.
Despite being filled with its social threats and life-altering experiences, it brought in its own way a time for bonding, awareness, self-reflection, and self-actualization. The pandemic had a leveling effect, making us all equals as we navigated through our uncertain reality. It nullified the benchmarks of disparity, popularity, and social status as we were all homebound. As I walked through this phase, I discovered latent skills and abilities which enhanced my self-growth and confidence. I had no choice but to delve into new activities and interests.
I found happiness. in writing and composing my own songs on the guitar and piano. I discovered a passion for baking and reignited my love for Kathak. I would spend hours in my bedroom choreographing new dance routines and engaging in meaningful conversations with my family members rather than relying on a quick WhatsApp exchange.
Moreover, I began the practice of reading and journaling which helped me reflect and express my emotions. The books that I read had a metamorphosing impact on my mindset as I understood that it is only me who has the power to control my choice and my time. They explained to me that choices should become a personal responsibility and not induced by anybody else's stance.
I began permitting myself me-time which is not sitting alone within four walls but a time where I observed and emulated my surroundings and decided what works for me and what does not. Watching my older brother happily saying no to things he knew he would not enjoy heavily influenced my actions in the future. As things began opening up and we returned to normalcy, due to family circumstances I was homebound for a longer period of time. The activities and interests that I discovered helped me to feel comfortable in smaller groups.
and engaging in social activities that suited me. Something most of us enjoy is clubbing, and I've tried it out too, but I realized that the ambience does not resonate with me, and I'm happier watching a movie. This is when I finally understood the sentiment of Jomo.
I also noticed that it was not just me who underwent this transition during the pandemic. The six-hour technical failure of Meta in October of 2021 caused a worldwide outage, causing billions to disconnect from their social media platforms. A study evaluated their feelings of disconnection, and a majority stated that they either felt indifference or happiness, which was operationalized as the joy of missing out. To conclude, I have to say, FOMO no longer scares me because I do not choose to give it that power.
I've learned to live by my own standards and construct my own identity. while being an integral part of my youth. I sit with a book in my hand, no longer fearful of Instagram, the latest post or viral trend. For now, I'll just enjoy the blend of silence, peace, and clarity.
The joy of missing out, you see, no longer bound by the constant need for likes, views, and virtual grief. Instead, I find a deeper sense of comfort, purpose, and content, a time to slow down and reflect, to disconnect and thus reconnect. Thank you.