what up it is i your parole verbal boy jeffy coming at you from san francisco california i just spent the past weekend in scottsdale arizona where i conducted a free tour and a boot camp where much edification and love was had by all basically we got a group of individuals who attended this program who are going to go forward in their lives inspired believing that this stuff is real right i live this to an obnoxious degree and moreover they can do it too regular people can learn this stuff too and be very very successful in their social interactions going forward um however you want to quantify that and giving you the tools so that you can go forward in your life and actually um be successful at this so it's it's an honor and a privilege for me to be able to travel again and conduct these programs you know the free tour was also great great to see everyone come out for that and get back into the swing of those things again um i've got upcoming programs in austin texas next week las vegas san diego chicago los angeles san francisco and much more go to jeffyinperson.com right now if you want to actually be a part of these wonderful programs change your life so uh having said that though i'm gonna crack into a clip from phoenix free tour that i shot this past weekend i've been teaching this stuff live in the field for 20 years right where people are like okay demonstrate and i have to actually go up and do it it's not some armchair theory stuff this is all based and concerned with pragmatic reality right so when i talk about this stuff i'm bringing the truth right this isn't something again i'm not just i know i'm on this green screen in a studio here but i'm not like a lot of these other channels where it's just some random like well quaffed dude spouting something he read in a book this is real talk so if you want to see this kind of content keep coming make sure to smash that like button and subscribe so you can get this real talk coming at you on a weekly basis [Music] tension is the enemy like the overarching tenet when you're trying to work in your vibe is physical tension and intellectual density-based tension is tension is the enemy because what we're trying to do when we're talking about creating a vibe you're trying to basically let go and allow the synergistic wisdom of the whole to take over so to speak right you're trying to hit a flow state in other words you have you ever hit the you guys know what flow state is where you just kind of like lose track of intellectual monitoring and you're just sort of hitting hitting the notes yeah your responses are are immaculate the timing is perfect everything you say is gold every move you make is is perfectly balanced because you're you're tapping into a deeper subconscious process see most people it's the problem with the ego and the intellect the intellect is just one part of the so-called human energy system right again you have the face the voice the body the mind the emotional process intuition higher observer universal energy that comes down through and out now when we're talking about energy i mean we know through i mean it sounds kind of like crystal healing or something like that but in fact you know we know from quantum mechanics from einstein all matter is just energy in different kind of vibrational states so you know a rock a sun beam are on the same spectrum of energy but generally the more dense something is the less receptive it's going to be to higher energies in other words a rock is less receptive to that sunbeam than a leaf would be so again when we're thinking about going up and creating this like very compelling very fascinating very interesting vibe that cuts their ras in a loud environment where there's music lights alcohol dancing the friends other people fighting for their attention and you're going to go up and they're going to be like stop oh no no this is what i need to pay attention to here the ras what again the reticular activating system which scans the environment scans all of the sensory input being received and filters out that which is un necessary to process again it's scanning for danger or difference or something unique this is again ras and if you follow this for any length of time you're probably familiar with this idea i mean there's a massive amount of sensory information being fed to you at all times right um you only process stuff that's relevant otherwise you'd be like overwhelmed you know like you know like peter parker or something in spitey sense so for example i live on a very busy street all night there's motorcycles going by people peeling out um sirens fire trucks drunk homeless people screaming i live in san francisco probably defecating as right after they uh shoot themselves up um i don't i i will sleep through all of that i've even had like somebody crash a drunk driver crash into my car parked out front and i didn't wake up until the doorbell rang and the cops were there like your car is wrecked because those noises are unimportant the doorbell is important i hear the doorbell i hear my alarm i'll wake up immediately to my alarm all that other nonsense i don't because that's ras so if you want to be make yourself relevant enough in that loud nightlife environment you've got to bring something you got to bring a vibe that's again something different is it interesting is it fascinating is it compelling is it threatening is it outrageous is it hilarious is it something as opposed to what what's up what's up she's not going to cut the mustard yo as the saying goes so you've got to understand that you've got you have to learn how to bring that and how do you do that again there's a lot like i said there's these you have to unders number one understand the model of what's going on inside you as you try to communicate i think that most people myself included at many points previously you we view our communications as this sort of like generalized hole right this sort of just stalled like okay i'm i i talk i go up and i just go hey and i i talk right in reality there are all these little subsystems that are combining to form the total instrument so your face again what is being what is being sent by the face and these can be different what you're saying and and what you're facially expressing can be very very different right another thing too like here's an interesting thing gestures by themselves have no inherent meaning right so phys physically kinesthetically if i go like this what am i expressing here [Laughter] yay beat [Applause] you don't know again that that fist in the air that's a powerful that's a powerful statement a powerful energy statement but you don't know what's being conveyed until the context until it's given additional context by the face the context of the situation maybe some vocalization again you don't know if if they're cheering or if they're about to punch someone in the face if you see somebody like a per a man crouched intention around a corner like waiting to spring out from around the corner you don't know if he's going to surprise his wife or if he's going to murder somebody like until it actually happens so it's given that context so it's interesting to think about all of these different parts we usually don't we just think expression and communication so in order to like gain a master and you don't have to be a master of everything you just have to do what you can as best you as best you can and and then so number one identify so so for example just going back so we got again the face the voice the body the mind the emotions intuition now the here's the problem the intellect very often it has elevated itself to this position of authority where it it believes it should control everything like it knows what's best it knows how to control everything it should control the face it can control the voice it could control the body but here's the thing it is not very often it's not equipped to handle these very energies that it's put itself in charge of like how the hell is your intellect your cognitive working space going to be the boss of intuition which is essentially trolling many constellations of different memories that are not consciously available to you at the time to come up with suggestions of things to do and say intuition is not magic it's not magic it's a subconscious process again intellect can only work can only work with what's available to it in the moment right with memories that it's purposefully brought forth into that cognitive working space with what's going on in front of it intuition can work with information that is not consciously available to you the problem is most people don't trust it they don't trust it right it's been given short shrift it's like everything must be analyzed it must be analyzed before i say it but the problem again as we said before the problem is there's no time out for you to evaluate the potential usefulness there's no time out in the interaction so the moment passes and either you don't say it at all or you say it and there's this kind of second guessing yourself feel to it so so number one like i said in the mentoring a lot of the exercises that we do number one are to diagnose the tension right make it bigger so you can see it and you say okay there it is because most time you're not even aware it's there so once you're aware of it and once you start to get wrap your head around how all these different parts interact you can isolate them you can work them and strengthen them in isolation and then you can put it all back together in a more completely realized hole so for example with the facial the facial flexing number one you'll identify where various tensions are coming up when you're trying to express the face great i identify those i can start releasing them number two you then expand the range of expressive choices that you can make this doesn't mean that you're supposed to go out now you can do it you're going to be like this jim carrey in the mask you know making all these wacky faces but you could you could now when you can then you don't need to the thing is the person who can't make a wide range of expressive choices whether kinesthetically vocally facially whatever imaginatively the person who cannot if all you can do is just express on a very low level then you're pretty much powerless and and you have that's when it's very off-putting and boring etc etc when you have the ability to express express in a very wide range you don't need to so i think the best way to put it is individual choices that you make gain power in direct proportion to the larger field of choice potential surrounding them does that make sense so say for example i'm sitting here next to uh mikhail barishnikov like the best ballet dancer ever or like lebron james like some some superstar athlete we can both be sitting in a state of like rest but lebron is going to be exuding a greater sense of power around his state of rest due to the larger range of kinesthetic choice that he has right even at rest you can tell this guy can do more he's that readiness to do more so this is why myself owen we can go up and we can we can go up and say hey what's up what's your name you're beautiful where do you live what's your address when are you humble you know because they can tell like even if we're like oh this guy's making a proactive decision to kind of be more chilled out right they could they can sense that we're not confined in that right so number one you identify tensions number two you release that number three you expand the range and then you don't need to do it right and then here's the thing too when you go out like so so when i do mentoring this is not me there's a different side of the coin right there's a huge difference between exercise and performance when we're exercising these things i don't want people when they go out to even be thinking about this stuff right you're not gonna be like okay how is my kinesthetic now how is my vocal like no you exercise that in isolation and then you leave it all you leave it at the door and then and then you know you go out so basically like look in exercise you practice what you can't do in performance you allow what you can when when necessary by this when deemed when you deem it necessary for the situation um a different analogy i always like to use is imagine you know a football player and then this guy he might lift weights in the gym he might run through tires you know in a grid on on the field in practice he's not going to do either of those things in the actual game but both of those things will improve his ability to perform the actual game so when i again i got sick of seeing these students who just could not vibe so i developed a pragmatic exercise process for them to work on it and once you know it you have these understandings you can keep working on that you know at home for the rest of your life as much as you feel you need to like working on imagination working on on this that the next thing and then you can take that into the field and then apply technique to that so if you get the vibe and technique that's when you're lethal that's when you're it's just like it seems so effortless it seems like nothing it seems like it ceases to be this chore this try trying chore where you must put yourself through through the fire and honestly you know i used to my programs used to really be like that when i first started it was really you're being put through this again trial by fire you're being broken down if you build up elbows in the mud you're going through the fire you know all these kind of like very dramatic analogies and i realized number one a lot of people don't do i mean yes let me put it this way even today i still like for you who is on the program you will be pushed very hard you will be pushed very hard like there will be no hiding in the restroom and crying i will find you i will and i will make you approach yeah i will find you and i will make you approach like liam neeson i'm about as old as him [ __ ] so um but we'll have to like edit yeah jump cut says i'm like doing the approach uh but yeah but like now there's there's like a there's like a feeling like i want my program i want there to be a feeling of like warmth and ease and creativity and playfulness and and adventure you know what i mean as opposed to oh it's this big problem that we're trying to fix and you know because it gives it too much weight you know what i mean and i think that so much of our education is like that it's like this dichotomy pass fail right wrong you know up down it's this dualism and so again i wanted to create a space on the program that's very non-judgmental and look it is i'll tell you one thing after 20 years you're not going to be the best person i ever seen and you're not going to be the worst person i've ever seen either i can tell that right now because i can't smell you from here you wouldn't believe some of the people that come on these programs the way they smell you would think that they you know they could shell out the resources for the the program they could also afford deodorant or a toothbrush but evidently that's not the case but you're not going to be the best you're not going to be the worst i'm not concerned with that um i mean i think that this these programs i really want to make it a place where again a non-judgmental space where you can make that leap through fear into the unknown where you get growth right again a quote that i heard recently that i really liked is all learning is movement into the unknown right and the fear will always be there to an extent the fear of speaking to someone will always be there it will never go away even when i go out to this day 20 years deep when i first enter the you know the environment i'll feel like a slight reluctance to go to do the first introduction i'll feel reluctance to that why because the thing is once these anxiety triggers are installed in the amygdala they seem to be indelible it seems like they can to the best of our understanding from a neuroscience standpoint once a fear trigger has been installed it cannot be removed it cannot be removed you can weaken the connections that fire and cause those interference patterns to come into play you can weaken those but the thing is it's kind of interesting there's an asymmetry between the connections from the amygdala to the cortex and back like it's much stronger to the cortex and much weaker back down so essentially what we're trying to do when we're remember i said knowledge is not knowing what we're doing here in this very room is we're employing the intellect in the process of transcending itself right we're we're saying these words and these words you're like okay i under what what do these words mean what do these noises through the air mean okay i'm processing that this is what it means then you're going to take it out hopefully and actually practice you'd be like okay then it becomes knowing and then you can make it knowledge again and give it to someone else but but again so we can cool those triggers off but they're always going to be there to some extent but the only way to get past that fear is to do it it's the only way to do it and i would argue that the cumulative effect of not stepping up and going through the fear is far more damaging to you psychologically than actually stepping up and doing it take that into consideration the fear like the cumulative fear of not stepping up not stepping up not stepping up because it's reinforcing your mind what i'm a punk ass i [ __ ] suck i'm a loser i'm i'm frightened i'm a cowardly individual so i think that look you know i think it was patton who said if the definition of of bravery is someone without fear i've never met a brave person all men feel fear and the more intelligent you are the more fear you're gonna feel but courage is stepping up through that finding something within you to move towards the perceived danger [Music] you