Transcript for:
Girl Meets Deer: Lecture Summary

In the garden of Acala, maidens gather with pure smiles reminiscent of Shinsengumi warriors, crossing the flow of the Tama River. Their hearts and bodies, untouched by impurity are clad in pristine white uniforms. Maintaining the pleats of their skirts and the stillness of their blue sailor collars they walk slowly, as is the custom here. Tokyo Metropolitan Hino-Minami High School. This is the Garden of Maidens, albeit co-educational. Good morning dear viewers! SHIKA! Shika Shika Shika! S H I I I K A ! GIRL MEETS DEER It's still so coooold! And it rained yesterday, too! It's slippery, so you have to be careful. Are you okay? Erm... Thank you very much! You're welcome. Torako Koshi. Tokyo Metropolitan Hino-Minami High School. Sophomore. Student council president and class president of Class 2-B. In addition she's attractive a high academic achiever and has outstanding athleticism. She is known both at school and in the neighborhood as the "Perfect Girl." She's wonderful! Just as I planned! However, beneath her seemingly perfect high school life lies a secret she can't reveal to anyone. That is... She is a former delinquent. I am the famed wild beast of Tokyo Hino! My dark past of being a delinquent influenced by too much shonen manga! If this ever comes to light, all the effort I put into being an honor student after I quit the gang life when I got into high school will go down the drain! Not that anyone could ever see through my perfect disguise, though. That's what she thought... Up until this very day, that is. Are you kidding me? We have a suicide by hanging right in the first episode?! Should we have gotten a late-night timeslot? Not that it would've been much better! Should I call the police? A doctor? Conan-ku-- I mean... Hajime-chaaann!! She's alive? What? If it's not a suicide, then why is she hanging from a place like that? She has antlers? Ah, it must be those things they sell at Tokyo Disne-- I mean Chiba Nezumi Land. But then they'd come off and she'd fall, right?! Which means those are real antlers?! And most likely deer antlers, at that... There's no world where that's a deer, Though! I mean, only male deer have antlers anyway, right?? Is it some kind of new UMA, then? Or a mutant belonging to an evil organization?! Even so, that's quite the amount of snot... Temperature: 12°C. That's disgusting! And a bunch of animals are coming here thinking she's dead meat! You want a piece of me? You wanna piece of me, huh?! Come on, come! Why is she trying to pick a fight in this situation? Actually, should I help her? She's glaring at me! The intensity of her gaze! If I get caught up in this, I'll be late! But I'm an honor student, I absolutely cannot be late! The best course of action is to pretend I didn't see her and hurry to school... You're going to leave me here... You're really going to abandon me in this situation... N-n-n-n-no, of course not, I'd never... Actually, you're hanging there of your own accord, aren't you? And I'm in a real hurry here. I don't have time to be playing around... Tomorrow, the news will say: "A high schooler from Hino town got caught in the electric wires and died"... From now on, every morning, when you pass through this street, You'll remember my face. Every single day you'll think back and regret your choice, thinking: "I should have helped her down that day"... Okay, I got it! I'm alive! This girl's damn heavy! Hey you...! Ahem! Excuse me, why were you up there? When I woke up this morning I was there already. I've no idea why... Seriously, tell me why! Thanks so much for helping me, I couldn't have done it without you Miss Delinquent. No, don't mention it... Did you say "Miss Delinquent"?! Huh? Who's a delinquent?! You, girl. Wh-wh-what are you on about?! Me? With this beautiful and composed womanly appearance? A delinquent?! That's p-p-p-preposterous!! Oh, really? Hmm... But I can smell it... Smell what?! And my antlers react to you. Wait, what kind of sensor is that?! If I get mixed up with her, I'll be in trouble. I-isn't it just your imagination? Maybe you're mistaking me for someone else... Oh, I got to get going! Try not to get caught up again, okay? Phew, that was close. I was so sure my disguise was flawless... How did she...? What the hell was with that girl? Everyone to your seats. I'd like to introduce you all to a new transfer student. A transfer student? I have a bad feeling about this... Come on in. Haiii! I knew iiiit!! Wh-why are you stuck again? Learn already, will ya?! YOU'R KIDDING ME RIGHT?! Please introduce yourself to the class Shikanoko-san. Notsu! I'm Noko Shikanoko! You can call me Nokotan! N O K O T A N ! What a funny girl. She's a deer! Why is everyone welcoming her normally? Am I the weird one here? Your desk is... The one next to Koshi-san is free! This is a common trope in school anime: the conveniently-free seat. This is bad! If she says something weird, my high school life will definitely be over! I have to make the first move here. G-good morning! Ah, you're the one from this morning! So you were the transfer student. I'm Torako Koshi. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! Thank you! It seems like it might be fine after all. It seems like it might be fine after all. Well, seems like I didn't need to worry that much! You can call me however you want. However I want? I was just overthinking things... Okay! Miss Delinquent! Miss Delinquent! I hope we can get along well, Miss Delinquent! Koshi-san is a delinquent?! Koshi-san of all people...?! We heard that wrong, right?! Hey! You had no reaction to a deer, what's with the surprise now?! A d-d-d-delinquent, me? What are you talking about? Could you please not make false allegations? My instincts are telling me you're a delinquent, Miss. Are you a wild beast?! And, you're also a virgin, aren't you? I mean, my antlers are reacting to you. What kind of system is that?! Koshi-san's a virgin! I knew Koshi-san had to be...! Really?! Stay out of this!!! Wh-wh-what kind of proof do you have to claim I'm a virgin...? Huh? then you're not a virgin? Well, that's... erm... Virginity confirmed. It's Koshi-san! She looks beautiful as always! Just now it seemed like my disgraceful past was about to come to light... I'm doing well... But I can't let my guard down! I have to make sure that deer won't expose me as a former delinquent! To accomplish that, I must make my move before she starts saying anything the next... A huge pile of snacks at my desk?! Wait! This cross-shaped band... DEER CRACKERS! "Deer crackers". As you know, the soul food of the Nara Prefecture people (There's theories as to why). Some students on their graduation trips always try to eat them for laughs but, much like their taste, that joke is a bit bland, and usually falls flat. The only one who would do this is... IT'S DEFINITELY HER! Is that drool? What is she, a merlion?! Erm, Shikanoko-san...? What's the meaning of this? Nun! A return in favor. That's not what your face says! You saved me this morning, didn't you, Miss? That's to say thanks. No, that was no big deal! There's no need to thank me... You don't like deer crackers? That's not the issue here... Actually, why do you sound so full of yourself all of a sudden? In that case, here's a antler specially for you. You can take them off?! Here. I don't want that!! You can eat them, by the way. D-does it taste good? Not that I'd eat it. They have no taste, no smell, and are hard! So you have to force yourself to eat it?! If that's what you say... This one's special. I said I don't want it! And sure, there's that, But also isn't your identity going to fall apart like that? If you don't have your antlers, you're just a common high school girl! For the one who saved my life... I don't even mind dropping my entire character!! That's too heavy! And it's too early to get out of character! It's still the first episode, you know? You don't want my crackers... You don't want my antlers... They stick back... Ah! Could it be that what you want... Is me?! (Me=Venison) Why are you so tied up with the deer thing? Okay, I got it, you can eat me! ... I'm not gonna eat you! And who are those people?? I mean, I don't have anything else I can give you! Look, as you can see, I don't have any money. But you still have deer crackers? Please, don't make me give you anymore... Why are you acting like I'm extorting you or something? And for crackers, of all things! Oops, my bad! I let my real feelings slip! Hey, Nokotan! Do you know Koshi-san? You two have been close since morning! Eh?! "Nokotan"? That's my nickname! Cute right? Annoying. You see, I was stuck on a power pole this morning, and Miss Delinq-- Shikanoko-san! I just remembered sensei was calling for you! (Do not run in the school hallway) Oh my, Koshitan... Bringing me to a place like this all of a sudden... How bold... What are you imagining?! Ehh? What were YOU imagining, Koshitan? Wh-what are you... I well... Koshitan... You're such a virgin! Shut up! And what's with that "Koshitan" all this time, huh? It's a nickname. We're Nokotan and Koshitan, isn't that great? Are we a comedy duo?! Who said you could nickname me? Well, I'm stuck with Miss Delinq... "Koshitan" is fine. Seems like it's okay. I mean, that doesn't really matter anyway. Now, about my real identity, can you promise not to tell anyone, ever, in no circumstances? I am an honor student here, so it'd be bad for me in many ways if anyone found out about my real identity. If you do say anything... it'll not end well for you. You got that? You mean... Your real identity is that you're a virgin? You're... Not wrong, but I don't mean that! Damn it... Where do you get off, teasing me like that... Listen you! Those antlers better be your only joke! You're right... These are weird, aren't they? (Indoor) E... Erm... No... I mean, of course a girl with antlers would be really disgusting, right? It's like "What are you?", "Are you even a deer, huh?", isn't it? I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I see... She's probably heard horrible things about her appearance, and I... Forget about being an honor student, I'm a complete failure as a human being! I... I'm sorry! I don't mind the antlers at all! So? We're a-okay now, aren't we? Koshitan wanted to ask how far her antlers went, but she was scared of the answer. Today was exhausting... I still have to prepare for tomorrow's classes when I get home. What was that noise just now? It came from there? Excuse me! Is anyone there? I just heard a loud noise. Is everything oka... (Deer) D-do I call the police? A doctor? Conan-ku-- I mean... Hajime-chaaann!! Ah, Koshitan! S... Shikanoko-san, is that b-b-blood? Did something happen? Oh, it was my bad! I fell from the ladder, and ended up scraping my knee! And your head? Look at your head! What a cute band-aid! Shush you! And what are you doing in this warehouse no one uses? I was cleaning! Cleaning? All by yourself? Yep! Thanks, Koshitan! Alright, back to work! Okay. I'll help you! What? Really?! W-well, you're injured and who knows what you'll do if I leave you alone? Yay! Thanks! She is without a shadow of doubt, a Tsundere. Cleaning is such a chore, but you seem to be having fun, huh? I mean, I'm doing it with you, Koshitan! Y-you're exaggerating! We're just cleaning! Even cleaning can be this much fun when you do it with someone! Oh, my, it looks so much cleaner already! Ukai-sensei? Sensei, Notsu! Hai hai! Notsu! So you helped her out, Koshi-san? Thank you! It must've been hard. Oh, not at all! It was pretty easy! I feel much more at ease knowing you'll be joining the Deer Club too, Koshi-san! Of cour-- Huh? Deer Club? Well, then, like I promised, you can use this place however you like. Yaaay! Wait, what in the world is a Deer Club?! And why am I joining?! What? You didn't hear about it? I founded the Deer Club here! What the hell kinda club is that anyway? I promised her that if she cleaned up the place she could use it as a clubroom. - Riiiiight?

  • Riiiiight? "Riiiiight" My left buttcheek! And ugh, It'll be seriously bad for me if I get sucked into that senseless club! I'm so relieved, Ms. Koshi! you've got it together, and you're very caring, after all. Like an older sister! Since you're so cheerful and kind, this looks like it'll be a fun club! It'll be like home for us! You're also very smart, so you two might as well get some sort of prize! We might even get to nationals! If you're joining, I'm sure the Deer Club will do incredible things! Leave it all to me! Koshitan was easy to get. Okay Shikanoko-san, make sure you fill in the club approval form. Nun! Club name: Deer Club. Club president: Torako Koshi. Activities: Mainly taking care of deer. Wait a minute! Why am I the club president here? - You're the president, Koshitan.
  • You're the president, Koshi-san. Like I said, why me? That's weird! This is the "Deer" Club no? If Shikanoko, a literal deer girl, won't be the president, then who else would?! That's what you mean?! But look, here it says the deer club "mainly takes care of deer", right? Hm? Yeah... That makes me the Deer Club's resident deer. The Deer Club's resident deer? And the role of the president is to provide the care! That's you, Koshitan! That logic is not one bit convincing... A club that cares for deer... Is this an agricultural school?! Here, submitted. Hai! Duly accepted. You work too fast! Well then, president I'm counting on you to look after Shikanoko-san. I'll be in your care! Okay. Since she said "leave it to me" with such a great smile, Koshitan couldn't take it back now. The Deer Club is now official! YATTAAA!! Things got way too out of hand, for just one day... I'll bring more deer crackers tomorrow! It's okay, I guess. Well then, should we begin with a good brushing? You've gotta be kidding! And what's with that scrubber-like brush? It's for animal use. OK, I have no choice then! Notsu! Dammit, why do I have to do this...? Jeez, you're going to make me do this every club meeting, arent you? Damn you, you pest! S-so scary! I don't know what's going on, but it seems the Deer Club's fight is just beginning!