All right, guys. Let's go. It's only 8 months until Christmas. That's a shitload of time, Santa. Not for two billion kids. It's not. But not all of them are nice. Well, we got to at least make a billion toys. And one [ __ ] Etcha sketch is just not going to work. But those are really hard to make. They're full of sand. So, I keep having to go to the beach with a bucket. And what's your excuse, Ara? I made a monster truck. Santa, you made one [ __ ] monster truck in 4 months? Well, Santa has four wheels. That's a wheel a month. Give me that damn big get to work. Hey there, the cops. Uh, Santa, I got to use the bathroom. That fell looks like somebody who's wanted for some pretty terrible crimes against children. He is. Well, Santa, I hate to have to do this to you, but I got a warrant for your arrest. A warrant? What did I do? Well, apparently you killed the Easter Bunny in a drive by shooting. No, I didn't. Santa's voice gets high pitched when he lies. Or shut up. No, I didn't. I didn't shoot anybody. Well, the rumor is that he was banging your wife. Oh. Oh, he was he was he was banging my wife. Well, maybe you killed him out of anger. No, no, I didn't. I didn't I didn't kill him out of anger. [ __ ] no. Okay. Well, I'm still going to have to arrest you all the same. Do you know who the [ __ ] I am? I I do, sir. Yes. I'm Santa Claus. Yes, I I know. But you're you're under arrest, sir. Come on. Order. Order. Order. I am the Honorable Judge Boo and today we will be hearing the case of Santa Claus who is being accused of shooting and killing the Easter Bunny in a drive by shooting. Naughty, naughty. Mr. Claus, how do you plead? Not guilty. I didn't do it. Very convincing. But let's go over the case. Apparently, the Easter Bunny was having sexual relations with your wife. Is that true? Oh, yeah. He banged the [ __ ] out of her. I'm so sorry about that. And did knowing the Easter Bunny had your wife bent over like this, did that piss you off knowing he was doing that to your wife? Oh, [ __ ] yeah. It made me want to shoot him in a drive by shooting. Now, it is weird that you say that because you are being accused of shooting him in a drive by shooting. Oh, well, I didn't do it. I would like to believe you, but we also have this 911 recording from the Easter Bunny on the night he died. 911? It's me, the Easter Bunny. Santa just shot my ass. He just pulled up in a car. He shot me. He was probably hallucinating before he died. I don't [ __ ] know. I have a question for you, Santa. Where were you on the night of December 30th? I think I remember that night and where I was. I was in the passenger seat of a car with a gun in my hand riding around listening to YNW Melly's Murder on My Mind. He was listening to Murder on My Mind by YW Melly. Well, [ __ ] You got me. Finally, the truth. Mr. Santa Claus, I find you guilty of murdering the Easter Bunny. But since he was bagging your wife and you did tell the truth after just a little bit of lying, I sentence you to be the Easter Bunny this year. That means you have to hide the eggs for all the kids and do Easter Bunny things. And if you don't do it, I sentence you to death by Fire Squad. Easter Bunny? I don't want to do that gay [ __ ] Can't say [ __ ] out of this thing. This is gay as hell. Nobody wants eggs. They want presents. Who invented this damn holiday anyways? What the [ __ ] honey? There's some guy with a bunny rabbit mask dressed as Santa Claus throwing eggs in our yard or some [ __ ] I'm going to go yell at him and tell him to stop it. Hey, what the [ __ ] you think you're doing in my yard? Uh, I'm I'm the Easter Bunny delivering your damn eggs. Be happy. Well, if you don't get the [ __ ] out of my yard, I'm going to threaten to call the police. Assault. Assault. You see that? I want to call the police on you for assaulting me. There he is, officer. The [ __ ] in the bunny rabbit Santa suit that threw eggs at me. Hey buddy, what are you doing? I'm delivering Easter eggs. I'm the Easter Bunny. Oh, you're the Easter Bunny, huh? Yeah, I was court ordered to do it. Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Hey, you've been drinking a lot tonight, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I I can see that. Um, how about you just go home and sleep this off? How's that sound? Well, no, I got to deliver all these eggs to all the yards. Oh, all of the yards? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, you're doing a great job. I I think you're actually supposed to hide them, not just like throw them around on the lawn. Oh, yeah. And it looks like you're running out of eggs. That's okay. I got more in the truck. In the truck? Yeah. So, you've been driving like this? Yeah. Oh, that's that's not good. Um, hey, how about you just go home and sleep this off, huh? No, I need to deliver all these eggs to all the yards. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's not going to work for me because I'm going to be getting a lot of calls about people complaining about a Santa bunny just throwing eggs at people. That doesn't sound like something I want to deal with tonight. Okay. Okay. Well, now I'm going to have to take you down to the police station for throwing eggs at me. No. Okay. Well, now we're at the Now we're at the point where I'm not asking. So, come on. Order. Order. Order. I am the Honorable Judge Boo. And today we will be hearing the case of I'm I'm sorry. Mr. Drunk Man with the Bunny Mask. What is your name? I'm the Easter Bunny. See, your honor, I I'm sorry. We're not going to get any answers from him tonight. He's so drunk. He thinks he's the Easter Bunny. Actually, I'm Santa Claus. Yeah. See what I mean? He's He's hammered. I see. Well, sir, you are being charged with littering eggs in a person's yard, public intoxication, and assaulting a police officer by throwing eggs in his face. Take your mask off so I can see who you are. What? Santa Claus? Why are you dressed like the Easter Bunny? Oh [ __ ] Damn it, officer guy. I sentenced Santa Claus to be the Easter Bunny this year because he murdered the real Easter Bunny in a drive by shooting. Wait, you got caught? Are Are they looking for the driver? I mean, uh, damn Santa, I didn't know you were on the naughty list. Yes, he's free to go. He has to go deliver eggs to all the children. But, Officer Guy, I ordered you to assist him in his Easter Bunny duties, or else you will be held in contempt of court. Okay, sir. God damn it. Well, I guess this is better than getting busted for helping Santa with a drive by shooting. Come on, Santa. Marvin, it's Easter. We have to go paint eggs and hide them before Jeffy wakes up so he can go look for them. Baby, isn't he too old to celebrate Easter? We need to tell him. No, Marvin, we can't tell him. He loves looking for the eggs. Oh no, here he comes. Where the [ __ ] are they? Where where's what? The bunny rabbit turds. Little pelts of rabbit [ __ ] Like cocoa puffs. Cocoa [ __ ] puffs. Well, Jeffy, I don't think the Easter Bunny poops on the ground. He's got to poop somewhere. Well, he doesn't poop while he's delivering his eggs. And you should you should be looking for eggs. Okay, well, let's go outside and look for him. Come on, daddy. Okay, give us one second. Perfect. You don't have any eggs out there. I'm going to improvise. You just hold on. Huh? No eggs and no bunny rabbit. [ __ ] Jeffy, stop with the bad language. You stop with the bad language. Listen, the reason why the Easter Bunny hasn't delivered eggs yet is because uh there's a 97th annual town Easter egg hunt and he decided to deliver all the eggs in one spot instead of all around the place because of flood zones. Okay, let's go. I'll go grab my basket. All right, let's go. Thank you everyone for coming to the 97th annual Easter egg hunt. Pardon this rash on my lip. I kissed a hooker last week and I'm starting to get worried. Remember kids, never kiss a hooker. They're not people. Anyway, a little birdie told me the Easter Bunny himself is going to be here later. Holy [ __ ] Easter egg [ __ ] Jeffy language. No, Daddy. The Easter Bunny's coming. You better go get in your suit. I'm not the Easter Bunny, Jeffy. Yes, you are. When's the Easter Bunny going to be here? Well, actually, the real Easter Bunny was shot to death back in December, but we have somebody else coming to stand in for him. Well, there he is now. Jesus Christ, Santa. You couldn't put the bottle down for one minute. This is the last one. What? No. Say hi to the kids. Ho ho ho ho. Stop saying ho ho ho. The Easter Bunny doesn't ho. What the [ __ ] does the Easter Bunny say? Jesus, your beer breath. I can smell it through the mask. I I don't know. Say hippity hoppity or some [ __ ] The hippity hoppity Easter's on his way. Yeah. Hop. Huh? Huh? Okay, I can see why you weren't in the NBA. Say hi to the Easter Bunny, kids. Holy [ __ ] dick cheese in the morning, daddy. It's the [ __ ] Easter Bunny. It's him. He's here. Yeah, I mean, some It's kind of like him. Okay, kids, one at a time. You don't want him to throw up on you. I can handle my [ __ ] God, he's a [ __ ] mess. Hey, Easter Bunny, can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Easter? Sure. Okay. I want the golden egg and when I open it up, [ __ ] million bucks in it. Yeah, me too, kid. Hey, Mr. Easter Bunny, can you blink? Don't hit the Easter Bunny, please. Wait, something ain't right. No, don't. Santa Claus, you're the Easter Bunny. No, he only killed the Easter Bunny. He killed the Easter Bunny and he's wearing his skin like the Texas massacre. No, no, that's not the Easter Bunny has to go now. Come on. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. All right, Santa. You're free to go. Santa, I got to use the bathroom again. You know, I know he's on a list somewhere. He is. Yeah, I don't feel like chasing him. Well, Santa, how'd you like being the Easter Bunny? Well, it was gay as hell. You know, Santa, we don't really say that word anymore. Oh, well, it was gay as [ __ ] No, I I didn't mean hell. You know what? Never mind. I I just hope me helping you out today makes you think about possibly getting me the Home Alone Lego set for Christmas. I'll think about it. Okay. Thanks, Santa. Hey, uh, can I actually take this? I wouldn't touch that if I were you. Why not? Oh, ew, Santa. Ew. Well, Santa comes more than once a year, you know. [Music]