Have you ever met someone who just pulls you in, who you're addicted to? There's something about them that just glows, something that just sticks with you. That's called charisma. And in dating today, it is the real cheat code. It's not about being the funniest or the hottest. It's about creating a feeling. The kind of feeling that makes someone want to know you or better yet, be known by you. This matters more than ever because dating in 2025 is exhausting. And no, this isn't just be confident or smile more kind of advice. This advice pulls from psychology, philosophy, and the actual science behind why we fall for the people we fall for. From the charisma myth to the art of loving all the way to something that Abraham Lincoln did at dinner to get people more obsessed with him. So, I'm going to walk you through five steps that build on each other one by one until you're not just more attractive, you're [Music] unforgettable. Let's start with step one, aliveness. Real charisma, real presence isn't cold, it isn't flat, and it isn't nonchalant. It's not I don't care if you're here or not energy. That's not charisma. That's a defense mechanism. We confuse chill with confidence. But the most magnetic people, they don't hide their energy, they own it. Olivia Fox Cabinet in the Charisma Myth talks about how charisma is made of power, presence, and warmth. Being nonchalant tries to fake this presence by pretending not to care. But real presence is when someone looks at you like they actually see something. When they laugh without holding it in, when they can actually feel that they're with you, not watching themselves perform coolness in front of a third person. If you want to be more magnetic, let your reactions land. Show that you're affected. Drink deeply from the chalice of life. I mean, be here in the moment with someone. Show your emotion. Speak like you mean what you're saying, not like you're above it. Because in 2025, when everyone is trying to be emotionally unavailable or nonchalant or chill, being emotionally available is a power move. Step two, curiosity as seduction. What subject matter are people most interested in? It's not cars or money or power. It's themselves. Here's the thing. We're most interested in people who take interest in us. And no, I don't mean the basic what do you do kind of curiosity. I'm talking about the genuine kind of wonder that makes people truly fascinating. Eric from and the art of loving argues that real love and by extension real attraction comes when you take time to explore another person's story. For practical tips, instead of asking typical small talk questions, get better at asking genuinely interesting questions like, "What made you do that?" or "How did that make you feel?" People light up when they're actually truly seen. Step three, resonance or a nervous system sync. This isn't just poetic talk. This is actually backed by science. Have you ever heard of mirror neurons? They're the part of your brain that light up when you see someone experiencing an emotion. It's kind of when you feel that click in a great conversation. Now, now think about it. When you're in sync with someone, your laughter, your pace, your tone all harmonize. It creates a vibe that's almost magnetic. Instead of mimicking someone, subtly mirror their energy. Adjust your tone. Nod when they speak and let your body language say, "I'm with you." That is genuine resonance. Step four, reflection or beauty transfer. Now, here's a weird story that you might love. I read How to Win Friends and Influence People, and the story was life-changing. Picture this. You're having dinner with a guy named John, and you leave dinner thinking, "Wow, that guy is a genius. I mean, he's a genius." Then you dine with Abraham Lincoln, and you finish dinner with him, and you leave thinking, "I'm a genius. I'm an actual genius." That's not just flattery. That's the art of reflection. When you reflect someone's inner beauty back at them, you elevate them. They start to see themselves in a more powerful and positive light. In other words, the more interested that you are, the more interesting you become. It's really the paradox at the heart of charisma. People don't remember what you said. They remember the way you made them feel. It's counterintuitive. You shine not by taking up space, but by reflecting back someone's own light, which makes you glow in the process. Step five, the final step. Absurdity equals connection. Let's talk about what might be the weirdest but most important step. Absurdity. Here's the thing no one tells you. The most charismatic people are a little absurd. They're weird. They're not perfect and they're not smooth. They say dumb stuff and they trip over their words. They laugh too loud at their own jokes. And somehow that's exactly what makes them magnetic because absurdity breaks the script. It cuts through the curated, the polished, and the boring. And it tells the person, "You're allowed to be real with me. You're allowed to be real with me." Philosophically, this traces back to Albert Kimu. He wrote about the absurd as this moment when you realize life has no inherent meaning. So, you have a choice. You can despair or you can laugh. Kimu called that revolt. I think in conversation, it's called charisma. It's choosing to show up as your weirdest self and your most honest self, even if it doesn't land. even even if it's awkward. Even if someone looks at you like, "Huh?" Because charisma isn't about being cool. It's about creating freedom. And the second that someone feels free around you, they start to fall for you. Not the ideal version of you, but the absurd one. I am releasing rings pretty soon. This is the video's over. Um, but I wanted to let you know that I'm releasing rings soon based on the virtues that I'm talking about. you know, fighting hookup culture in 2025, anti- ghosting, you know, finding real love and real authentic connections, slow love, being virtuous, being a good human being today. What does that mean? Um, and so I'm releasing some jewelry, which I'm like really really excited about. Uh, maybe you can check that out. It's on I'm releasing it on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2025. Um, maybe check it out or or not or whatever. I don't know. Uh, and thank you for watching though. I really appreciate you sticking around to the end and listening to me. Uh, I think that's I think that's all I got right now. Um, maybe I'll cut to a little uh commercial. I'm releasing something new. A ring that says XOXO. It's not merch. It's a membership to the hopeless romantic club to everyone still believing in real love in a world that rewards ghosting. I've only made a hundred because most people gave up, but we didn't.