today's video is rather interesting because many people have never heard of the term seposexual before and for me it was a new thing that I had to understand just through you know healing and therapy and all of that you learn these terms that's like seems like there's a new term that's coming out of nowhere all the time but it's obviously something that a lot of people actually struggle with and it makes dating very very difficult now this comment right here reminds me of some of the positive things about social media while this comment here reads you are seposexual the issue is that your likes are in the minority but valid points through and through now the reason why this is a positive comment for me is because over the years I have been explaining to people not so much online but people that I actually know offline why I find it so difficult to make meaningful connections when I'm trying to like date or whatever it may be however I never actually knew that this was the word for it granted I've actually seen people have it their bios online like on Twitter and in the past when I have tried to use dating apps I've seen people have that word but I've never taken an interest to want to be like oh like what does that mean however when this person commented this last night I was like okay let me actually take time out to see what the definition of it is now while there was a few things that I didn't agree with because I I kept seeing things like oh sapiosexuals don't care about um looks and things like that that is a lie like I need to have some form of attraction to you so granted you don't need to be like the best of Lookers but physically there needs to be something about you that has me like oh something about that person I find sexy for the most part it's how a person thinks like their intellect that really draws me in so I say all of that just to say thank you so much for dropping this comment because of you I actually took the time out to learn something new and now a lot of things makes sense to me now thank you really trying to holler at you for real for real holl at me for what you you said what holler at me for what I mean you pretty you got a nice smile I love your personality seposexual is a term that refers to a person who finds themselves sexually attracted by traits associated with intelligence or intellect this early 21st century concept is a combination of the Latin word sapiens meaning wise and intelligent a saposexual person is attracted to a person's thinking ability level of intelligence intellectual mannerisms clever speech and humor it can also be summarized as falling in love with a person because of their [Music] intelligence I'm a sabiosexual you get me here you going to get me there okay you got to get the Mind first every time I'm on the phone with you I'm like and I know you'll buy me every Chanel collection you'll take me on every trip I want to go on but when we there what we talking about have to be stimulated mentally in this video not only am I going to break down to you what a saposexual is but 12 signs that you might struggle with that and just how to move forward but before we get into all of that first hey friend welcome to my channel crean elud meal gyms this channel is dedicated to leveling up in all areas of your life so let us learn together read together but most importantly grow together now without further Ado let's get into this video so let's start first with the WebMD you know I'm on WebMD I live on there for the term and meaning of what it is so sapio sexuality means that a person is sexually attracted to highly intelligent people so much so that they consider it to be the most important trait in a partner it is a relatively new word that has become more popular in recent years and though they say sexually attracted to it just means attracted to you don't have to necessarily be sexually attracted to the person but you're just attracted to or drawn towards people that have a level of intelligence right the ultimate meaning of sapiosexuality depends on the intention of the person using the word it can suggest anything from a general preference for smart smart Partners to a type of pin sexuality in which intelligence trumps everything and makes gender irrelevant which in this in this context in this video we're not speaking in terms of like gender being irrelevant or anything like that and for many people who are seposexual gender does matter for them it's just a matter of um the person being you know intelligent or not but if you're fluid in that way gender don't matter to you it's just a matter of who you're attracted to intellectually uh but for someone like me if I'm just attracted to men then I would seek out the more intelligent men if that makes sense so how does that work in relationships people who consider themselves seposexual often find themselves in relationships with people who have a similar fetish or orentation these couples often enjoy intellectual activity as an integral part of emotional bonding and even even physical foreplay if a seexual person is in a relationship with a partner who doesn't share these interests it's important for both people to work together to make sure that everyone's needs are met and some questions that they had was don't most people feel find intelligence attractive and the answer is yes most people would want an intelligent person and they would find them attractive but a team of Australian researchers developed this seposexual questionnaire in order to test whether people were sexually attracted to intelligence which they defined with an IQ sork and whether they wanted an intelligent person as a partner they found that the participants seem to be sexually and romantically attracted to people with above average intelligence up to an IQ of about 120 and above an IQ of 120 sexual and partner interest decreased very high IQs were not perceived as particularly sexually attractive or as the most desirable quality in a partner so like most people wouldn't find Einstein attractive even though they love intelligent people but they wouldn't look at Einstein be like ooh that's what it was saying so the higher the IQ goes some people do find that they're they want that just enough that's what it is so it's not it sapiosexuals go beyond that just enough point right they do they do criticize if you're seexual as ableist or elitist like you're elitist if you're that some people believe isexuality devalues people with different mental abilities those who label it as elitist or eurocentric claim that it overvalues Western education and IQ while ignoring other forms of intelligence Defenders of seio sexuality claims that it's based on relationship compatibility rather than a judgment of absolute worth worth now where does K Ken's point of view with sepos sexuality I think everybody every human is different of course um when we label oursel with specific terms we like box ourselves into that one specific term with that in terms of these things I'm not talking about what can be scientifically biblically and accurately proven I'm talking about in terms of like to say I'm seposexual then every definition of it just automatically applies to me is not necessarily true right but what I do say with the whole ableist and elitist thing where it says it's basically westernized education is what we meure measure that I don't think saposexual for for me and you can comment below um what you think if you label yourself as a saposexual especially once I get into the 12 signs I'll ask the question again but for me I don't consider people smart based on their Western education or their college degrees at all my childhood best friend her mother never went to school and didn't even know how to read or write she didn't even know how to read my childhood best friend her mother and my sister and myself when we go to her house like with sleepover into whatever we would stay glued under her mother just getting all this wealth of wisdom that she acquired you know as this older woman from Haiti she just had this wealth of wisdom to share whether it was spiritually biblically um just on like things that you learn later on in school about how plants grow agriculture cuz she used to have her own garden and stuff and she knew these things just by doing her intelligence came from doing life experiences just knowing these things right and she never went to school a day in her life and then there are some people that you go to school with that have the same degrees they're sitting next to you and with all due respect they're like idiots like what they can't even formulate a good education because a lot of Western or just education in general is a lot of memorization memorization and you know not necessarily comprehension all the time so to say that it doesn't necessarily mean degree or whatever but it's being able to talk to someone that what I'm addicted to I find is that I'm addicted to being able to learn from people that I'm talking to and not necessarily the same thing as me like if you're different from me whatever it is that I'm learning if you're into culinary you're just a really great cook I want to learn what you're doing not to go do it myself but it's just interesting to learn someone have such a deep passion and they know so much and they're the best at it you know not mediocre at it but they're aiming to be the best at it pushing themselves pushing themselves you find yourself wanting to talk to those people more or someone one's just into whether it's Sports you're a football player or you run track or whatever and you're just always aiming to be better at it and there's things you can teach like if you you can coach if you wanted to so sapio sexuality is not necessarily book smarts or whatever it's not always that it's just talking to Masters at their skills and people that are just Wise from experience that are always actively seeking to grow mentally um spiritually and even physically like just always trying to elevate themselves and grow with time they're not stagnant and they're willing to learn they're open-minded and also the type of people that I find as for me my type of sapiosexuality because there's a whole I went down that whole Rabbit Hole of it is that people that are willing to learn and people that are open-minded they're not combative and know it all it's like it doesn't mean that seposexual are attracted to know it alls or people that aggressively want to show you that they're intelligent I'm not attracted to that that would turn me up like if you tell somebody you're a St sexual and all of a sudden they want to show you all the knowledge they've ever acquired in their life that would be like yeah Deuces no but it's patiently being able to listen to someone cuz mostos sexuals love to listen we love to learn we love to listen and we love people that love to listen also that love to learn that are humble with it that are not knowt alls and always seeking to you know one of my and I knew one of the signs for me that this could be something was when I was little one of my first well I say my second prayer I won to say what my first prayer was to God but my first my second prayer that I could vividly remember praying to God on my childhood couch facing the window looking out is Lord make me as wise as Solomon I want to be as wise as Solomon I was always so intrigued by Solomon in the Bible and his wisdom and people traveling from near and far just to hear him speak and I would literally pray for that I thought it was so intriguing how much he knew and of course the Tau me okay you want to be that wise you're going to go through a lot of stuff you know you got to have a lot of experiences but you also have to be very open-minded and willing to study different things like Solomon knew so much whether it was about plants animals like whatever he was just always willing to learn and be so open-minded to his own detriment now with you know going to foreign women and all of that I don't aim for that I always pray against that Lord okay make me as wise but wise enough to know to stick to you but but it's just um being attracted to that since a very young age I already knew the people that I'd want around me whether friends or family I want them to have a certain level of intelligence is that ableist no because even people like I worked at an assisted living facility for a short time with people that had Down syndrome and that were you know autistic and stuff like that and they're very int like you'd be surprised how a lot of them are sants with music specifically like they can play anything or there's specific things that hyperfocus on that they're just so great at and it's amazing to witness and look at them and you find yourself drawn to those type of people too and I don't think it's fair to label it as just like the book smart but there are some people that don't understand the meaning of it and they think that's just what it is and I don't think that's what it is and another thing it depends on where you are in life cuz one one thing I would love is that when when you're dating you're looking for someone also if you're Christian and you're getting your life right with God you're learning that has a certain prerequisite knowledge of who Christ is the Bible and those things you you don't want to be unequally yolked there's scripturally um I don't know if I'm even using the word in the right term but in the Bible it talks about being equally yolked with dating and things like that and being talking to someone that's on that same plane that you don't have to completely educate from scratch on who God is ETC I wouldn't want that you know and so there is a level of of requirement based on where you are and depending for me it may be biblical I want a certain level of biblical that we can already have certain top um conversations or understanding whatever I want us to already be equally yolked in that part but for someone else it might just be um in the fitness that you're very attracted to people who are well knowledgeable when it comes to Fitness that already have that prerequisite they take care of their body they know about nutrition Etc that you know attracts you and excite you to see a healthy looking shapely person it depends on what your values are with your life okay so now moving on from that let's go into the 12 signs real quick of what it is number one and I'm getting this from thoughtcatalog.com which I will share with you guys which the full article is in the link in the description go check that out read the full article so first one is intelligence and deep conversation inspires you and turns you on while most love a great conversation you require it daily from the person you choose when you hear someone talking about thoughts and the things that they question or know in life you not only admire them but you find yourself attracted to them on a level unlike any other okay and why it's so difficult to date as a sapros seexual is because especially in the beginning there's a lot of hey how are you doing how was your day how is this you know basic shallow conversations and for someone that's a seposexual it can get boring really quick like you're only going to give them a benefit of a doubt for a little bit before you like I'm bored you kind of like to jump to okay now let's talk about the Stars you know let's talk about some prophecy or whatever like deeper things you know and you want to go deeper and when they start to go deep on their thought process on this what it excites you it doesn't matter what it's in it could be literal politics no matter what it is but you want depth you want more than just the occasional how are you what's your favorite color what's this you know those basic conversations and if you are sios seexual and you're dating and you find that the person is incapable of having those typ of discussions or in in um initiating those type of discussions it can get very very dry and you can quickly label that person in the friend zone area era and I'd say how you think I'm about that to that because a lot of times a guy or a girl could be very nervous and don't want to start having polarizing like scare you away start talking about conspiracy theories or whatever write in and scare you away the person might not want to so they don't even know how to start where to go with it and you don't want to eliminate someone from your pool before even giving them a chance you know what I mean so I say give it a chance give it a chance and wait to see in person if you guys are sitting having dinner in person or whatever is the conversation still like that or where does it go if it's still like that in person once you meet and conversations are dry and you're just wrapping it up real quick or the conversations stay pretty shallow then okay you can move on but over the phone and stuff you can't really gauge the person's um eyes like you're not witnessing see what's okay and what's not if you're going too far if you're not i' say be a little patient with that second is credentials don't matter when looking for potential Partners intelligence is always at the top of your list you dig deeper into human beings if there isn't much below the surface you find yourself bored and uninterested you can't even fathom being with someone like that for the rest of your life you crave intelligence to you it is exciting and it takes precedence over what someone does for a living or how much money they have and this is really really true like you have no idea some people you could be the richest person on earth and the most good-look person on Earth but if you're shallow and you have no personality in terms of Interest or any deeper processing of thought then it's worthless right if you struggle with that too where I wouldn't even say that's a struggle I maybe since I'm a s sexual that's a good thing you know to where you're like I don't care about anything else I just love that I cannot be like the guy can have everything that you want they make great money they look good they could be you know in the same Faith as you they're a kind they're all this good stuff right well groomed but then you talk to them and you're constantly bored there's just no excitement no like depth and you're like could I see myself with this person for the rest of my life like we're not staying up till 3:00 a.m. just talking nonsense and debunking different theories and having passionate debates disagreeing with each other and then re agreeing let's take a break so you could find yourself like I don't think I could be interested in this person for a long period of time they look good they're interesting but it's kind of limited in that aspect then you might be a sayle sexual if you struggle with that okay third is you love debating I was in a debate team in high school so yeah I love debating I love debating and if you're in this channel by now y'all know this and if you guys could visually respond back to me I'd be debating with all you guys in the comments I love a good debate it says if someone challenges you to a debate you find drawn to them on a deeper level in them you discover a counterpart who will always expand your mind and who doesn't shy away from using their knowledge to test or entice you you don't find these kinds of people stubborn or pretentious either you admire their eagerness and their thirst for smart conversation now I will say again there's a difference between having debates and then arguments I don't like arguments I don't like superiority complex like there's been people that will catch on that you know I'm a saos seexual and then they have this superiority superiority complex where they feel like oh in order to gain her attraction I must shut her down every time every Point she makes or show that I'm so smart I'm so this blah blah blah blah blah no that's not the point it has to be genuine and authentic and real like you really feel this way or you really believe this Theory and here why the disagreements have to be genuine don't just disagree with me for the sake of disagreeing with me Etc you know people that do that but if you find yourself loving to debate and genuinely it gets you excited to like when someone like conversation is your favorite thing to do and not just like gossip not gossip I don't mean that but like conversations about different things you get excited by like yeah let's sit around let's debate let's depending on whatever topic then yeah you might be a saposexual next is four is physical attraction is great but conversation is better I just said that right yes you need to be physically attracted to someone in order to be with them however if they're simply just a pretty face you Tire easily to you conversation is key and no matter how attractive someone is if they cannot old one and if they cannot deepen your knowledge they aren't worth your time looks does not matter if they can't keep you engaged or mentally stimulated looks just does not matter all of those things go out the window and often time you'll find seos sexuals they be like oh why is he with her why is he with her she don't even look all that good and the whole time he's just drawn to her intelligence her Aura how much like just who the essence of this person is and how deep they are right and you'll find women that on men that just be like why is why is she with him he's so hideous he's so this but yeah he may not look the best he may not be the most outstanding but intellectually he stimulates her in a way that the handsome buff jock like type figure probably cannot and not say anything against jocks because a lot of pretty girls are not always deemed intelligent and a lot of jocks aren't either when that is a lie there's a lot of jocks um people I went to school with like high school with that were jocks football buff you know they're so int intelligent working in all different venues and sectors whether politics this that whatever and they're very intelligent beings okay so it doesn't necessarily mean that either now number five is the more you get to know someone the more attracted to them you are a seposexual really wants to get to know people like the depths of it tell me your fears your dreams or this and that not in the sense to use it against them or to manipulate them but we love exploring the minds of people I guess this is why I have my documentary Channel also the other channel cuz I just love to Beyond just watching someone in a movie who are you or political leaders who are you in your private life who are you in your daily you want to get into all of that right so while most people often find themselves enthralled with others right away you ease into relationships and attractions for you you always discover a diamond in the rough someone who may not initially be the shy shiniest person in the room but who holds within them depth and a thirst for Life the more and more you dig into who they are when you slowly discover someone's wits someone's smart their emotional intelligence the way they speak the way they resolve conflicts your attraction to them grows you're slow and steady yeah a lot of people like sapiosexuals do not like to rush especially physical intimacy don't do that you know a lot of them are celibate that's just how it is they don't like if you lead with that they I want to know you first more and get you know get that rain whatever and I have traditional very traditional views but for a seposexual a lot of them even without the traditional views they're the types that would not be intimate with someone if they don't it takes time at least six months to a year to really like say you know someone and you really want to take your time to it you don't want to rush the process of getting to know is very um titillating it's very exciting to get to know someone to sit and have conversations to bond you know instead of just rushing the process all the time number six is you hate small talk you feel physically uncomfortable and someone cannot hold a deep conversation with you small talk is a thing of nightmares and you would much rather sit in silence than have to answer to someone's comments on the weather you admire those who use their intelligence to carry conversations forward to expand on ideas and ask questions that fuel speaking points yes I hate small talks and I find that sepio sexuals go even with their friends they're like that like me and my best friend if we ain't got nothing to say in the moment we're quiet we're enjoying each other's quiet but for the most part we when we're talk it's so deep it annoys people around us like dang I can never just have a light-hearted conversation we can we can we could be very fiful but when it's us just us without other people around we indulge we indulge so it can be that with in friendships too you know um not just spouse but also in family like you have that one sibling you know my sister and I when we were growing up she was just like that me and her would spend all night while we know we had the seat to go to school just talking about weird stuff it was just very very interesting but small talk is an unknown on number seven is you are extremely turned off by foolishness or brism you cannot stand those who need to assert themselves through aggression or over-the-top gestures you have no tolerance for men or women who are foolish and who unravel easily you find it attractive when someone can meet difficult situations with poise and with intellect you admire those who can rationalize their feelings or fly off the handle whenever things go wrong like that's what I said like people who are overly aggressive with their intelligence or not even just intelligence overly aggressive in general sapiosexuals are very calm and collected and very think through things okay and in their Partners they love that rational calm let's think this through type of person that still has like a backbone and still knows how to be assertive and get things done don't have people playing with them but also um you're not out here just flying off the handle being aggressive handling things without Grace being very brutish rough around edges too much no that is a turn off and if you deal with that then you're seposexual number eight is you would much rather meet someone in a bookstore than a bar you don't go to bars to meet people Nothing is attractive about screaming your name to someone you met there 3 minutes ago on the dance for instead your dream date or your dream introduction would occur within a bookstore or at a documentary screening for you this is where you will find an intellectual counterpart because there are environments that will inspire meaningful conversations yeah they're not going to go to a date at the club or places that are you know I do like physical act like sexuals love can love nature like I said they're not one way one size fits all like to go out mountain climbing or something you know it's exciting but anything that's just doesn't um enhance connection like doing nature stuff together enhances connection right but being at a club with a whole bunch of other bodies drinking and dancing does not do that it does not I'm not going to feel drawn closer to you and those type of En environments it can be very uncomfortable very uncomfortable and if someone suggests it that you're interested in you will find yourself very uncomfortable and try to avoid that person in the future because you don't want to go to those type of places you rather more places that makes it easier to bond and connect with the person right it's about the storm here if I hear the thunder in the background is nothing I can do about it nine is you're an incredible listener you love when people teach you things and this has caused you to hone your listening skills you admire when those you care for are able to go on about something they learned or something they find fascinating not only does this expand your mind and connect you with your value with connect with your value of conversation but seeing someone so passionate about knowledge and so capable of articulating it makes you bubble over with admiration you have no problem sitting still and listening to them for hours this is this is what I was saying they can uh seio sexuals can hear you talk for hours and hours and not get bored like the time would actually fly and like oh my goodness it's been hours we've been talking know they will not get bored they have no problem with that number 10 is grammar is one of your biggest turn offs bad grammar H I don't know maybe it's because of the language barrier for me I'm a little bit more forgiving with bad grammar and even spelling because of the language barrier for me I know sometimes I mess up words and that becomeing especially on my documentary Channel they'll come for me so I'm a little more lenient with that if you start to talk to someone and they text you things like hey what are you doing and acronyms or use short forms you cannot stand it you are automatically turned off and you cannot continue talking to them any longer that is true I don't like excessive acronyms or short texts consistently like go in depth what are you what are you trying to say why you know not all the time there's times just call for it you know whatever like if you're genuinely hey where are you whatever you can acronym that but if you're acronym the simplest words like spell it out spell it out number 11 is it's not just about books smarts for you while most people would think that being attracted to intelligence and others refer to their knowledge of topics that are tangible that's not the only kind of intelligence that draws you to someone instead you also find emotional intelligence and self-awareness incredibly sexy you love with someone is in tune with their feelings and you admire those who can rationalize and work through situations using their mind you find that kind of maturity enticing you know what's crazy I'm reading this just now as I'm doing this video for you guys so like in the beginning everything I said is just coming to be this is my first time reading it Bible like literally that's crazy the last one is 12 you are always looking to learn the thought of sitting at home watching documentaries on the universe and things you are still learning about is ideal to you you absolutely love anything that expands your mind and you crave opportunities that provide you the ability to learn and grow you seek out people who you find smarter because you would like to learn from them you go to panels and lectures on topics you aren't well versed in because you see them as a challenge and you enjoy educating yourself on new things if someone you care for does not share this intellectual thirst with you you find yourself losing interest quickly oh my goodness is true my best time is to sit at home watch documentaries research something or to be watching nature shows or having deep conversations listening to a book on Audible or whatever like it's crazy and you get annoyed when people don't have that same drive or thirst to learn or to you know be at that same plane you're like you know come on you're constantly if you're constantly the friend that's sending your friends books to read or videos to watch this now blah blah blah cuz you just want to have the conversation with them and it turns you on not in the sexual sense all the time but stimulating sense okay so it stimulates you this is the Dilemma of it cuz if you're dating as a sep seexual it is pretty hard because not everyone is like that and you may feel like okay there's no one out there for me but of course I would always say pray about it and be patient obviously judging from the comments you will find that there are a lot of people that dealt with this too so you're not alone it's a real thing and I'm like that too so I'm with you with that and if I'm like that I know there's a lot of guys that are like that too a lot of women that I like that and you just be patient just be patient and I'd say off the bat not say oh I'm a saposexual when you're talking to someone but make your personality or what you're attracted to clear like oh I love these type of conversations or let's talk about this whatever generate it and see and if it doesn't go there then just move on but this is all I have for this video comment below your thoughts are you a seposexual which ones did you resonate with the most based off the list and what do you think do you think it's Aus do you think it's ableist comment below your thoughts I love you guys so much thank you for tuning in I'll see you on the next one