Notes on Conversation Skills Lecture

Introduction

• Audience engagement: hands raised for unfriending on Facebook due to offensive comments.
• Discussion on the difficulty of polite conversation in today's polarized climate.

Current State of Conversations

• Pew Research: More polarized than ever.
• Compromise is declining; people are making decisions based on existing beliefs.
• Importance of balance between talking and listening in conversations.

Impact of Technology

• Smartphones and texting habits: 1/3 of teens send 100+ texts a day.
• Shift away from face-to-face communication.
• High school teacher Paul Barnwell's observation on communication competence being overlooked.

The Importance of Conversation Skills

• Conversations should be engaging and inspiring.
• 10 basic rules for improving conversations:

Rule 1: Don't Multitask

• Be fully present in the moment.

Rule 2: Don't Pontificate

• Be open to learning; avoid one-sided opinions.
• M. Scott Peck: True listening requires setting aside personal opinions.
• Bill Nye: Everyone knows something you don’t.

Rule 3: Use Open-Ended Questions

• Ask questions starting with who, what, when, where, why, or how for deeper responses.

Rule 4: Go with the Flow

• Let go of distracting thoughts; stay engaged in the conversation.

Rule 5: If You Don't Know, Say So

• Be honest about what you don’t know.

Rule 6: Don't Equate Your Experience with Theirs

• Avoid comparing your experiences; focus on the other person's story.

Rule 7: Try Not to Repeat Yourself

• Repetition can be tedious and condescending.

Rule 8: Stay Out of the Weeds

• Focus on the person and the conversation rather than minute details.

Rule 9: Listen

• Listening is the most crucial skill in conversation.
• Distractions and the desire to talk can hinder listening.
• Stephen Covey: Most listen to reply, not to understand.

Rule 10: Be Brief

• Show genuine interest in other people’s stories; expect to be amazed by others.

Conclusion

• Engage with people, listen actively, and maintain an open mindset.
• Aim for meaningful conversations.