I was a shy girl who hated her appearance thought her personality was boring only ever thought about her insecurities all day long was so scared of talking to new people that she was basically living life on mute mode had no self-belief and doubted whether she would actually be able to get all of the things that she desired which inevitably sabotaged the lifestyle that she lived every single day that same girl is now a full-time influencer with a combined following of over 2 million followers she talks and is perceived for a living she openly chose that lifestyle she does public speaking she networks she's been on a whole billboard she makes new friends she found the confidence to model and she's built an entire career off of just being who she is that very same person who hated herself who was so insecure about who she was how is that even possible because she created an alter ego and that girl was me Tam who many of you know me as but the truth is Tam cor isn't even my real name name it's actually the name that I assigned to my Alter Ego who I've been going by as since 2019 cuz see when I was 19 years old and starting University I was so done with being this girl because I knew that somewhere in me I had the potential and hopefully that one day I would be able to be this girl and I eventually got there because the truth is that you already have all of the knowledge all of the skills and all of the confidence you would ever need the only thing that is stopping you from getting there is the fact that your self- perception hasn't caught up to your full potential and by the end of this video that is no longer going to be a problem for you you are about to learn in this video the power and benefits that having an alter ego brings what it fully means a step-by-step guide to creating yours and then of course we're going to end the video with practical steps to get you set on your journey before we get into it be sure to follow me on my other socials where I always post exclusive b-size self-development content a lot of you already knew that this video was coming because I already posted some Ulta ego content on my Instagram you can also check out my Snapchat and Facebook where I post even more content on a daily basis through the links Below in the description and you can pre-order my book which is literally coming out in a few weeks I actually recently recorded the audiobook version of it where I do an exclusive Q&A at the end of the audiobook reading so you can click the link below in the description because it's available to pre-order worldwide and if you pre-order it rather than waiting to buy it on the release day you'll actually be supporting me and this book so much because the more pre-orders the book gets the higher it will rank in book charts this video has also been brought to to you by Squarespace Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform that is designed to help entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online regardless of their current 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appointments with you with squares spaces built-in features the list goes on so you guys can go to squarespace.com for a free trial and whenever you're ready to launch you can come back to this video and click my unique link below in the description squarespace.com /am cor because through that link you will get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain chapter one the power and benefits of the alter ego so what is an alter ego an alter ego is basically an alternate self one that is different from your original or current self and most importantly a version of yourself that has all of the characteristics that you wish to have but just don't feel come to you naturally it's you stepping into to the ideal version of yourself one Without Limits and to quickly clear up any misconceptions no isn't fake or acting or pretending or deceiving others okay this is simply embodying the ideal characteristics you wish to have until they naturally become a part of you it's still you being yourself just you without any baggage without any past without any insecurities without the conditioning that other people have given to you by telling you what you are and are not capable of see an alter ego is like you but just on Fresh paper it does not take into account your embarrassing moments your failures your mistakes or other people's opinions it doesn't remember the fact that you've been shy and quiet for the last few Decades of your life it's literally like waking up one day and saying I feel like being a public speaker today and then just doing it because you're actually able to and there's no inner critic in your mind that's like oh but you can't do that because you're this this and this you're nothing this is a brand new day of your life you get to be whatever you want to be and I'll give you a personal example of how this has worked within my life so my entire life I was super shy and timid couldn't make new friends couldn't speak to new people really didn't like myself you know everything I said in the intro of this video so I was 19 and starting University I was going to a new city there was no one from my school that was going to be there and I thought this is the perfect moment to reinvent myself I was so sick and tired of being the same person every single day when I didn't even like that person so I thought okay I'm going to reinvent myself I want to be a social butterfly I want to be able to talk to strangers here and there I want a huge friendship group I want to be at all the parties I want to be the life of the party so how the hell do I get over there when I'm currently here and I can barely say 3 and so all I did was I imagined myself in my head but what I would look like if I had all the confidence in the world how would I walk how would I talk how would I act how would I approach certain situations you know when I'm walking in on the first day of University what would I do right now in my comfort zone of what I've always known versus what would the version of me with loads of social confidence do and I started to think about it that way but we'll get fully into the alter ego tutorial in Chapter 2 so how do we actually know if having an alter ego works well one your favorite celebrity probably has one Beyonce lady gaggar and niik LGE all Ed one just to name a few Beyonce's alter ego is called Sasha fist Beyonce herself has said in interviews that she had to make this Alter Ego she gave the ult ego an entirely different name because Beyonce herself was so quiet and shy in real life and felt very socially awkward that she had to separate herself from who she had been to be able to have a confident and assertive onstage presence so that she could succeed in her career she did that so many times that she said whenever she started to hear music put some high heels on and think about Sasha F she immediately medely turned into her Alter Ego her posture was different her walk was different everything about her felt different even down to the way that she spoke she said that she used this Alter Ego strategy for a few years until she felt that she matured enough that she didn't even need to use it anymore and this is what I mean guys like you will do it enough times that it will start to become a part of your regular personality and all of those traits you once thought that you would never be able to have or felt so far away from the true version of you will literally come to you so easily and then two it's literally a psychological Strate and in Psychology having an alter ego is referred to as the Batman effect in Psychology they say to use this strategy when you feel like you're in a stressful situation and you want to move forward with confidence and having an alter ego in that situation helps you do it as long as you choose your Alter Ego wisely and you let them take charge you will be able to move forward in literally any situation okay so now that we understand what it actually is why should we even do this what are the benefits the main benefit of having an alter ego is that it gives you greater self control and confidence this is because creating your own Alter Ego is a form of self-distancing you are distancing yourself from the identity that you have always known and been comfortable with but in a way has been holding you back in many aspects it's also a really great way to detach because whenever you're in a difficult situation it allows you to distance yourself from your immediate feelings and instead look at something more objectively and from a stance that's going to benefit you rather than think oh my God I don't know what to do now and Alter Ego is my favorite thing because it means that you can finally remove yourself from the past that's been holding you back this entire time just like I said at the beginning of the video you already have all of the knowledge and confidence you need so why doesn't it come out because your self-perception hasn't caught up your self-perception a lot of us most of the time is stuck at a moment in the past so many of us are like okay but I used to make these mistakes or this is what I used to do or this has been my experience up until now okay so what you're telling me that your past something that is over and done with and no longer exists is forming your current identity In This Moment For What it literally makes no sense we make the biggest mistakes of allowing our past to create a belief system an identity for us that no longer aligns with Who We Are Who We Are gr into and where we are going because think about it this way if you right now in this moment are not 100% happy with what you've got and you can think of at least three ways of ways you'd like to change or adopt a different mentality or personality then that right there just goes to show everything you've done up until this point didn't get you your desired result so then why are you still using the past the thing that evidently did not work to keep forming your future to allow all of that past noise to Define who you are and where you should go when it clearly didn't get you what you wanted now is the time to change to create a new identity and a new mindset the only reason we ever experiened self-doubt is because we are using the person we have been to Define who we are now and it's a lot more complicated than you think and another personal example from me is when I was 19 and I made my alter ego and I thought I'm going to to do all of these confident activities it was working I was making friends I was talking to people I was succeeding in my goal but my internal confidence wasn't quite there yet I knew exactly how to play the part but I just didn't genuinely feel like it but why wouldn't I I was doing everything to prove that I was now a person who could talk to people and make friends and I was proving my old self wrong but I didn't feel that way on the inside because my self-perception was still stuck at the person I was at 15 years old every single time I thought of myself I had flashbacks to my awkward teen self because that is what I was used to that is the identity I had been stuck with for so many years I got flashbacks of times that I was too afraid to speak to people or I never stepped outside of my comfort zone or other people got more opportunities or made more friends than I ever did because I never stood out or spoke and because all of those memories were coming to the surface when I was thinking about who I was it meant that I was stuck in a place in the past that had nothing to do with who I was now because all of the people that I was meeting would have had no idea that I was that shy and that timid before and so it was time to allow self-perception to match with my new current identity you have to remember that we all have conditioning on who we are how you do one thing is how you do everything so if you have this really stubborn idea of who you are in your head or what your weaknesses are such as I'm really lazy and I procrastinate a lot when I do work and that is your core thought about your identity and who you are when it comes to work situations that is going to manifest itself in every other area of your life because that one part of you is starting to form your entire identity but when you adopt an Al ego like Beyonce did with SAS or you simply just start thinking of yourself in third person so that you detach from who you have been and all of the mistakes that you used to make it will actually allow you to stick to your goals because now you don't have any of that baggage holding you back this helps when you're trying to stick to your exercise goals to your business plan or just to your personal development and lastly for this chapter can anyone do it the answer is yes this is because you and everyone else around you we can all think of at least one example where we have changed our persona or our Identity or our personality to suit the situation or the people around us you don't act in the way that you do at work at home you don't act the same way with your friends than you do with your family and vice versa it just keeps changing you know how to adopt a different Persona in different situations to benefit yourself and to fit into different groups you probably have completely opposite personalities depending on who you're hanging around with where you are in which situation so if you can do little things like that every single day I promise you you can create an alter ego to get of your weaknesses build on your strengths and become a stronger more powerful version of yourself than you ever have been chapter number two the step-by-step guide to creating your Alter Ego now you might want to take out some paper Okay a pad and a pen because these are seven in-depth steps in order of creating your Alter Ego by the time this video is done you are going to be sorted I promise you step number one is the why this is where you start figuring out the purpose of your Alter Ego why the hell are you even creating an alter ego in the first place is it to get rid of some weaknesses is it to adopt some new personality traits is it to feel more confident when it comes to public speaking to be better in Social scenarios to just feel some more inner confidence in your life to be a better performer the list goes on your why needs to be so strong this is a very popular concept when it comes to business plans and even self-development because it's the thing that keeps you consistent on your journey if you're just like I'm going to make an alter ego because I feel like it would be cool and I would be hotter little bit fickle and you might not remember it because throughout this process you need to know the most detail about your Alter Ego to first of all be able to step into their shoes a lot better but also to make sure that this is a consistent habit that you can maintain to get all of the benefits from it step two new traits this is where you figure out all of the new characteristics you want your Alter Ego to have and majority of the time these are going to be things that you feel that you lack or you struggle with and just don't come too naturally it can be personality traits it can be values it could even be Hobbies the way they talk the way they move their mannerisms so for me it was the ability to talk to people to show myself on camera I wanted the value that I was confident in my own skin without having to change anything about myself that I was really secure in my authentic self- expression so I could go out as overdressed as I like without worrying about other people's perceptions of me and so on but if you are struggling with this part A really helpful tool is to think about people that you admire this could be people you know in real life these could be celebrities people you look up to in the media and actually think why do I admire them you don't admire people just because they're pretty and they seem cool everybody admires different people because they align with the potential that we all have within ourselves you can recognize Beauty in other people because you too have that beauty within yourself so why are your Idols your Idols why do you admire That Celebrity so much is it their confidence is it their work ethic it's really like asking yourself what would X do what would Beyonce do what would your idol do in a certain situation and then starting to replicate that energy in a way that suits you and your life step number three is deep mapping this is where you need to start understanding every little ins significant detail of who your Alter Ego is cuz think about it we are creating a whole new persona like a whole new person I know there're still you but they are You Without Limits okay and let's say you're like 20 years old watching this video you might be 16 you might be 30 that is quite a few Decades of your life where you have been building the current identity you have you have all of these memories to back it up you have all of this knowledge interactions with others everything this new persona that you are creating today doesn't have any of that so you need to have the responsibility of creating that for them because honestly the worst mistake you can make when it comes to creating an alter ego is confusion okay if they're confident but you don't know much else about them you wouldn't know how they would approach a stressful situation are they more assertive are they classy and laid-back and detached if you don't know your Alter Ego inside and out then it's going to make the stepping into their shoes and acting as them in certain situations very ineffective because you're not even going to know what they're going to do and that is going to prompt you to step back into what you're comfortable with which is the person you have been this entire time so when it comes to deep mapping some questions to ask yourself is how would they act in a stressful situation how do they approach their career how do they approach dating what is their mindset when it comes to romantic relationships how would they act when they are being mistreated and they're starting to feel a little bit angry like what is their response how would they act if they fell in love how would they go about fixing a bad day what does a good day look like to them if they were on a stage about to do some public speaking what is their approach to that are they more comedic or do they take it super seriously is it loads of preparation is it being goofy freestyling it and all o your authentic energy to flow step number four is to pick your avatar this is the super fun and girly part this is where you get to decide how your Alter Ego appears now it's very common when you're creating an alter ego to give them a different name cuz like I said before this is distancing yourself from yourself so another name is really helpful just like I said tamour isn't actually my real name I'd never gone by that name until I was 19 so it really helped kind of leave my past baggage behind but another really helpful solution is to change up your appearance a little bit it can be super subtle maybe you'll get some highlights maybe you'll cut your hair one thing I did at one point was get a nose piercing just cuz I wanted to feel something you can change up your makeup look you can stop wearing makeup you can finally start dressing in your real authentic style rather than following Trends this is all about self-expression for me personally fashion is a really big thing and an outfit really decides how I strut out that day if I've barely put any effort in and I'm just in sweats that shows in my body language and how I show up to things but when I am channeling tamc cour energy I'm always in heels I'm always in a cute fit I'm always decked out in my jewelry I've always got a nice full face of Glam On I've always done my hair and I've got my extensions in like I'm feeling like that girl and then that shows through my mannerisms that energy literally flows from me step number five values and core identity this is a little bit similar to deep mapping but rather than assessing how they would approach certain situations now we are thinking about the back story of your Alter Ego this is where you figure out their values what's important to them where do they want to go in life what do they value you what do they not care about as much what are their preferences what are their strengths what are they motivated by and if you really want to get technical with it since this is a new person what has been their history up until this point because your history has influenced you a lot and if maybe you've struggled in the past maybe you had really difficult time in school or in a workplace now that's started to kind of dampen your confidence a bit maybe their history and their memories are all confident ones maybe it's that they've always succeeded that every task they approach they do and fulfill with ease they are just that kind of person they are the AAR student student maybe they're a really good athlete they've been in every gifted program they are so naturally talented you can make it up as you go so that your alter ego's history and experience matches who you want them to be today and how confident they are step number six the when this is really important because this is when you're going to decide when to actually bring out your Alter Ego in your life because it's not going to be 24/7 your authenticity is really really important and for some people like Beyonce for example the alter ego only comes out in the workplace for me especially when I'm on camera or when I'm at certain events that's when tamc energy comes out but I know on the inside I am such an introvert like I'm such a home body and I do separate myself from that a lot of the time because that would sabotage me in my career but I love to also appreciate that part of myself that's where self L comes in so it's really important to kind of create those boundaries and those spaces where it's like this is when I'm going to channel you and this is when I get to be who I want to be without thinking too much about it but then again for other people your alter ego might just be super simp Le and it might just be an Avenue for you to try and develop your confidence until it naturally becomes a part of you in which case you might Channel it every single day and lastly for this chapter step number seven act until it's natural I really encourage you to experiment with your Alter Ego in the beginning stages as often and as frequently in as many situations and with as many people as you possibly can I'm talking when you are going to get your morning coffee you are making small talk with the bista if that is what aligns with who your ulter ego is or if you are going to see a friend at super casual occasion you are going turning up in your most overdressed authentic expressive outfit because that is exactly what your alter ego would do okay you are practicing at home at how you would do public speaking about how you would talk to people and work the room at a party or at a networking event this is basically so that you can get as much practice as you can in different scenarios so that your Alter Ego becomes used to you ASAP because it will take some time to start to adopt this new persona and integrate them seamlessly within your life and the more practice you get the better plus it allows you to evaluate and chop and change it if you feel like it doesn't really suit you or it's too far from your authenticity really see how it feels how it shows up maybe how other people respond to it whether your behavior Can adapt to it and how it's influencing your mindset and that brings us to the final chapter chapter number three homework this is very common at the end of all of my YouTube videos and podcast episodes shout out self-obsessed on all platforms check it out in the description if you haven't already so yeah if you're new here at the end of every video or podcast episode I always give a list of practical tips to make sure that you start your journey straight away because chapter 2 of this video covered all of the Practical steps and guide on how to create your Alter Ego I want to do something a little bit different with the homework chapter today instead I'm going to give you guys some questions to either think about or Journal about I highly recommend that to really help you form an effective strategy that is going to be personal to you and really work for you from here because an alter ego is different to absolutely everybody question number one what qualities do you wish you had do you wish you were a natural performer more outspoken Fashion Icon Smarter with money question two now journal or have a think about what is actually preventing you and holding you back from having those qualities is it self-doubt is it fear is it the worry about being perceived and judged by others is it backlash from friends or family is it your past mistakes or the fact that you might have failed before or is it just the fact that your current identity doesn't match up the more detailed you can answer this and really get behind the fact of what are your blockages the better you can then create and form your Alter Ego that doesn't have any those things question number three if tomorrow was the first day of your life how would you act how would you be when you wake up how would you approach your work day how would you feel knowing that you have no past you've made no mistakes no exes no messy breakups no mistakes no embarrassing moments how would you live how would you carry yourself knowing that you had all of the knowledge and all of the wisdom with none of that past experience nothing to fear because nothing's ever gone wrong in your life before and finally now that you know exactly what you want to have and what might be holding you back from that and what you would do if you didn't have any of that past baggage what would your Alter Ego do walk act talk speak like and it links back to that entire mapping process now you've really gotten into all of the detail as to what's gotten you to this point and how you can get to the next point but before this video ends I actually discovered a book that I'd love to recommend to you guys it's called the alter ego effect by Todd Herman so if you guys really like this concept and you want to learn more about it then that is something that you guys can add to your reading list I really hope that you guys enjoyed this video and I can't wait for you all to start your journey be sure to comment down below and let me know what is your ult ego's name going to be are you going to start this journey feel free to message me on Instagram and give me a follow on social platforms to keep up with all of the new advice that I will be putting out on a daily basis thank you so much for watching till the end and all of the support you guys give me I appreciate you so much and I will see you same time next Friday for a brand new video and there'll also be a brand new video on my second YouTube channel tomor Vlogs every Sunday be sure to check it out bye [Music] me my