Mastering IELTS Writing Introductions

Hello, I'm Liz and in this lesson we're going to look at how to write an introduction paragraph for IELTS Writing Task 1. Luckily it's quite easy to write and quite easy to learn. Unfortunately, it also is very easy to make mistakes with this introduction and as you know, the more mistakes you have, the lower your band score will be. So we're going to look at how to avoid these errors and how to nail that introduction. We're going to look at a variety of different tasks during the lesson and of course I'm going to show you where you can find model answers for all the tasks that we look at. Now we're going to start with this simple chart here and luckily the introduction paragraph for bar charts, line graphs, tables and pie charts is exactly the same. So the same mistakes to avoid and the same techniques when you're writing it. As you can see, there's a description above the chart and IELTS will always give you that. It's called the rubric. So let's have a quick look. The chart below shows the sales for a coffee shop in a town in the UK from 2000 to 2020. Now, most teachers will tell you the first thing to do is just paraphrase the description. But actually, the first step is going to be looking at what information we don't put in the introduction. Now, as you can see, there are columns, bars, and those columns and bars represent data. Now, all the features of those columns and the data all belong in the overview and body paragraphs, not in the introduction. So we can remove them. So what's left? We've got the description. We've got currency down the side. We've got six categories. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup. We've also got years and we've got a title which also contains information and all of that needs to be introduced. Now, I have an introduction paragraph ready for you. Here it is. It contains 35 words and 15 errors. That's a lot of mistakes. Let's have a quick look. The diagram below give the information for the sales of, for example, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, food in a cafe, which locates in an English village from 2000 to 2020, units measure in pounds sterling. So there are 15 errors in that. Gosh. And I want you to find those errors. That will be my challenge to you. But what type of errors are they? Well, obviously IELTS is an English language test, so you're going to find vocabulary errors and grammar errors. However, because in IELTS Writing Task 1 you've also got other marking criteria which relate to information, and that is all about whether your information is accurate, whether it's misleading, or something is missing or confusing. and so you're going to find that there'll be problems with information as well. So all of this is connecting to the marking criteria. So let's put this up full screen. I want you to find as many errors as you can. Pause the video. So how many mistakes did you find? Well let's take a look. This is the introduction paragraph that I gave you and down here I will create an accurate version of that introduction. It won't be the best version. I'll show you how to improve it after this. But let's start with the first mistake, and that is the word diagram. Now, this is a diagram. We weren't given a diagram. We were given a chart. Now, when I'll say it's a chart, it's a chart. You don't need to change that word at all. But in this case, we could improve it and be more accurate and say it's a bar chart. So that's what we'll do. The next word, below. When you're writing, there's nothing below. A simple mistake like putting in the word below, it still counts as an error. So next, we've got four words. Give the information for. Four words, three mistakes. The verb should have an s on the end. One chart gives. The article the, we don't need it. And the preposition should be about. So it should say the. bar chart gives information about. The next mistake is the word sales. Now, obviously, this is not the mistake with vocabulary. It's a mistake with information. Because there's information missing. We were told that these were average monthly sales. And we need to provide that information. So we can make a very simple change and we can change average to typical. And we can keep the words monthly sales. It's fine to do that. So let's pop that in. The next mistake. Now that's actually really interesting. And that is for example. A lot of people put this into their introduction without thinking. Now your task in writing task one is to write a report based on what you see. Your task is to report the factual information. You're not going to be giving examples of the information. You will be giving the information. So in writing task one, there are no examples. That is for writing task two, which is an essay. So in this case, it would be wrong to say, for example. So we don't need that at all. We can remove it. Next. is a problem with the categories. Now firstly, one of the problems is the categories are in the wrong order, tea, coffee. Now every time the examiner has to stop and think, oh that's strange, then it's a problem for your bound score because it means that you're a problem with the information or possibly with language, in this case the information. So get the categories in the right order. The next problem with the categories is that there are only four categories given. We've got coffee, tea, hot chocolate. food. So it's illogical to give each of the three drinks but summarize the food categories as one. So this confuses the reader and that shouldn't happen. So you have a choice. You can either name the categories one by one in the introduction or you give the number of categories. Now I know you're going to be asking which one do I do? Do I give the number or the names? Well, it depends on what you've been given in the chart. So, for example, this bar chart, as you can see, there are so many columns. There are actually nine groups of columns, and each column is an age group. Now, if you were to list each age group one by one, the sentence would become too long, and that's not what we're looking for in English grammar, particularly in IELTS. So, in that case, if you've got nine age groups, you would say nine age groups. and you would summarize it in that way. But our chart only had six categories and there was only one category with two words, so it's okay to list them one by one. And the other mistake with the categories of course was there should be the word and before the final item in the list. So moving on, the next mistake is of course the word cafe. Well firstly A cafe and a coffee shop are not exactly the same thing. They are listed as synonyms in a dictionary or in a thesaurus but actually they're slightly different. A cafe has a more extensive food menu usually and a coffee shop is more focused on the drinks, particularly coffee obviously, so they're not entirely the same. But the biggest problem here is not actually the paraphrase, it's the fact that there's information missing. We know the name of the coffee shop and that is what should be in there. Copper coffee shop. So moving on, the next problem is actually with grammar and that is which locates. Should be which is located. Next we've got the English village. Now I'm sure you all spotted that. The UK is actually not English, it's British and if you're not familiar with your nationalities, don't take a chance because you don't want to increase your errors and just repeat what was given in the description and use the country name instead. but this should be British. And of course a village, well it wasn't a village it was a town. In the UK we've got cities, towns, villages and hamlets, which is the smallest. They're not the same. So that's a big mistake there. Next, this isn't actually a mistake but it's a missed opportunity for paraphrasing and that is from and to. The words from and to were given in the description and we can change that very quickly and easily to between. and and and everyone of all levels of English should be making that change because it's so easy to do. Then we come to the final sentence. There were two mistakes in the final sentence. Did you spot them? Well the first mistake is with measure. It should be units are measured in and the next mistake is actually with pound sterling. Now if you go back to the chart and you see currencies are listed along the side here, you will see that pound sterling starts with a capital P and a capital S. But when you put those words into a sentence they need to be grammatically correct. they shouldn't have capital letters. So this really is testing your ability to use capital letters effectively. And that use of capital letters is part of grammar for the marking criteria in Arch Writing Task 1. So that would count as a grammar mistake. So we've got quite a lot of mistakes there. I hope you learned something and please try to remember them. But let's go over the introduction that we now have that is accurate. The bar chart. gives information about the typical monthly sales of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup for Cuppa Coffee Shop which is located in a British town. Between 2000 and 2020 units are measured in pounds sterling. So let's have a look now at something higher band score and you'll see that really it's just a few extra changes but let's have a look. The first change I've got is with the word illustrates. the verbs that you've got to use in Arts Writing Task 1 for the introduction are shows, gives information about, and illustrates. Now they are actually of equal value. That's not a change to make it higher level, it's just an alternative that I'm showing you. And you can use any of those three verbs with any task in Writing Task 1. And I know that you're probably going to find examples of other verbs that are used online, but really you don't need any more. Learn those three, it's all you need for a band score nine. Now, the real change that's come about here is actually with the information, the amount of money made from the sales, because that's actually what the bar chart is about. Now, a higher band score is when you are more precise. You're giving clearer information. That's what takes your band score up. So when you start paraphrasing, it's very important that your paraphrases are taking it to a higher level where you're more specific with information. And a lot of people don't think about that when they paraphrase. They just think, is it a better word? But a lot of the time it's about information. Next, we've got the sales of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup in a typical month. So here we've got the paraphrase from average monthly sales. to in a typical month. And what we've also done is we've separated the information. The word sales is no longer with that. It's separate. And this is part of paraphrasing as well. You're changing the order of information and that changes the grammar structure. So paraphrasing isn't just about using synonyms. It's also about creating a unique grammar structure that you've created in the test room. After that, we've got in cup of coffee shop. located in a British town. Now, in this case, you could use which is located or located in. Either is fine. And then we've got the three years. We've got in 2000, 2010, 2020. Now, why give only two years when, in fact, you could very easily give all three? Now, again, be more specific, be more accurate. And here we've got another introduction. which is the bar chart illustrates the typical monthly revenue. And actually, this is the higher band score, the word revenue. And then it says of cup of coffee shop located in a British town from the sales of six food and drink items. Now, that isn't necessarily better. It's the other option. And I wanted to show you in 2000, 2010 and 2020 units are measured in pound sterling. So as you can see these are quite small changes but they do change everything. Now it's time to challenge you with something more difficult and what I have here for you is a multiple task. So we've got the table, we've got the pie charts and I am going to challenge you to write this introduction on your own. So remember the steps involved. You want to remove the information that you're not going to put into the introduction. You will be using the description given as a foundation only. And then you need to look at what other information you need to add. Then you need to paraphrase. But paraphrasing doesn't mean changing words all the time. You need to choose those synonyms wisely and then write it your way. Now, because you've got two tasks, you've got. the table and you've got the pie charts, you will be introducing both of them into one introduction paragraph. You're not going to separate it and that means you'll have one sentence for the table on one sentence for the pie chart. Now if you wanted to link those sentences together, you could link them together using the word while as a connective device. But anyway, I will leave this one to you. Let's put this full screen. Write your introduction now. Pause the video. Have you written your introduction? Well, let's write an introduction together. Now, obviously, we've got the description up above. So let's just quickly read that. The table and charts give information about the total cost and sources of fish. imported to the US between 1988 and 2000. We've also got a heading in the table, which is billions of dollars. In the pie chart, we've also got categories of countries, and of course, we've got years as well. So let's start writing our introduction down here. We'll start off with the table, because the table is a table. Yes, it contains data, but the data is in the form of a table. And we don't need to change the word. So the table. When it comes to the verb, well, in the description, they use give information about. And if you remember, we can have give information about, show and illustrate. So in this case, we're going to use show. And don't forget the S, the table shows. Now, the table is actually about the total cost of fish. And that's actually meaning that America spent that money. So that's how we can phrase it to be very precise. And we can say the table shows how much the US spent. Now, obviously, this was a total cost. So therefore, we can say how much the US spent in total. And of course, we don't need to change the word total because we're using it in a different way by saying in total. And this is showing the examiner that you understand which preposition matches the word. Then we can say on imported fish. So don't forget we spend money. something, so that is your preposition, on. And imported fish, they said fish imported, which means fish that was imported, but we're using it as an adjective here, imported fish. So again, you're sharing that flexibility with words. After that, we can just list all three years. Then we can put a comma while, and this is us connecting those two sentences, one about the table and one about the pie charts. While the pie chart, illustrate because that's the next verb to use and of course there's no s because it's plural. The pie charts illustrate the proportion of and of course proportion of is a paraphrase for the percentage. The proportion of fish brought in from and this is to paraphrase source from China, Canada and and this is where you have to adapt the heading. Now it said others, but it's not grammatically correct to say China, Canada, and others. You would need to say China, Canada, and other countries. And then we can write units are measured in billions of dollars in the table and percentage in the pie charts. Does that look all right to you? Because actually there's a problem with the final sentence. Can you see it? Okay, well, we have already introduced that the pie charts represent percentage because we've said the pie charts illustrate the proportional and that's the paraphrase for percentage. Now in writing task one it's a short report it's only about 170 to 190 words in length and you should not be repeating information in fact you do get a lower bound score if there is repetition of information. So we've introduced the percentages already so we don't need that information. So what have we got left now? We've got Units are measured in billions of dollars in the table. Now what's the problem? Can you see it? Well, the next problem is that it's illogical organization of information. If you look at the introduction that we've got, we've got information about the table, information about the pie charts, and then we give more information about the table. So it's illogical. And that affects your band score. Because logical organization of information It's not just about paragraphing. And that's the marking criteria of coherence and cohesion. Now, obviously, I will show you where you can find information about the band scores. So don't worry about that. But it is important that you do understand the marking criteria before you enter the test room. So because we've got this illogical organization of information in our introduction, we need to change it. And this is how we do it. We can rewrite the introduction. The table shows how much the US spent in total in billions of dollars. on imported fish. And that is how you put that information in. So it's not always necessary to actually have units are measured in. You don't always need that sentence. Anyway, that is the finished introduction. But let me show you an alternative. So here we've got the introduction that we've just written. And now let's have a look. The table shows the total expenditure of the US in billions of dollars on imported fish. Again, it is the expenditure is about the money spent. So it's a perfect paraphrase to use. And then we've got the years in 1988, 1992 and 2000. While the pie charts illustrate the proportion of fish that was sourced. Now we are using the word source in the description. It was used as a noun. We're using it as a verb and using it as a past passive. Fantastic. And then it says, from China, Canada, and other countries in the same three years. Now, that was important information to give, which didn't exist in this introduction. Right, now let's have a look at diagrams. So I've got two diagrams that I want to review with you. The first one is a life cycle. Now, the life cycle is not the most common diagram to be given in IELTS. but the reason I want to just quickly review it is because the paraphrasing is actually quite tricky and people get quite stuck on it. So I want to give you a couple of options that you can learn and use if you get a life cycle. And of course the next diagram is a process this is the most common form of diagram to get and this has got fantastic paraphrasing options. I absolutely love it. Now before we have a look at those let me quickly show you where you can find model answers for everything that you've seen today, as well as some information about the marking criteria. So let's whiz over to ieltsliz.com. Welcome to ieltsliz.com. Let's start with having a look for the band score information that I told you about. If we go to test information, you can see a drop down menu. And one of the options is for the band scores. If you click on that, it will go to a page with information about the band scores for all parts of the IELTS test. If we go over to the writing section of the website and we click on writing task one and we scroll down, the first thing is test information. And you will find a link to the band scores here as well. But this page takes you to the band scores only for writing task one, and they are more detailed. They include tips about how you can improve your band score for each of the marking criteria. So please have a look. It's really important to know that information. before you enter the test room. If you scroll down further you'll find practice charts, there might be a feature video and below that you'll find model answers for every type of task in IELTS Writing Task 1. Further down you'll find practice lessons. Now some of these practice lessons also have model answers as the answers to the lesson and you'll find for example the model answer to the table and pie charts that we've literally just done. Anyway you will have time to have a look through and enjoy all the lessons, tips, model answers and everything. It's all free and I made it for you. Let's return now to our video lesson and continue. Now let's look at the diagram. So we've got a life cycle diagram and it says in the description the diagram shows the life cycle of a frog. That's short. What do we do with this? Well, obviously, the first thing will be to look at what information doesn't go in the introduction. Now, we've got pictures and words, and those pictures are the same as the columns in the bar chart, and the words are the same as the data in a bar chart, and basically, that's what doesn't go into the introduction. So, if we remove the pictures, and we remove the words connecting to the pictures, what have we got left? We have nothing left except just... the description. So unless there was an extra title, for example, an Amazonian frog, if the actual diagram named the type of frog, obviously we would include that as an extra title. But this diagram doesn't have an extra title. So therefore, the only thing we have to use is this description. Now the problem is that a diagram is a diagram. We don't want to change that because it is a diagram. And a frog is a frog. Now obviously there is the word toad and sometimes you might find that as a synonym if you look in a thesaurus but actually a frog and a toad are not actually the same. So all we've got left is the word life cycle. and what can we do with that? So I'm going to just give you three options for introductions and I just want you to learn them and then you can use them if you do get a life cycle. So let's have a look at the first one. The diagram illustrates the stages in the life of a frog. It's simple, it's factual, it's absolutely fine to use. Number two, the diagram illustrates the phases a frog passes through during its life. Another option, the diagram illustrates the stages of development that a frog passes through during its lifetime. Now I just want to point out that obviously, you know, the last one is probably the best, but that's not because of length. It doesn't matter whether it's short or long, the most important thing is that it's very, very precise and specific, and you're using a nice range of language, because obviously we need to paraphrase life cycle. Now, obviously, this is so different in writing task two, isn't it? Because for writing task two, it doesn't matter which type of essay you get. Your introduction will be a similar length. But writing task one is not an essay. It is a report. And the length of paragraphs will not be uniform. It's not going to be the same with each type that you get. And it will change depending on the information that you're given and the type of task you're given. So don't worry about length. and it doesn't matter whether it's longer or shorter, it's all fine. Now let's look at the diagram about a process. And of course, we've got the description, so let's have a quick read. The diagram below shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town. And then of course, we've got the actual process itself. As always, we remove the information that doesn't go in the introduction, and the only thing that we are left with is the description. There are no titles, no subheadings, nothing extra to put in, just the description. Now for this introduction I've actually got six possibilities for you, ranging from about a band score 6.5 all the way up to the highest band scores. So let's start with the first four. So here we've got our description, let's have a look at the first introduction. Now obviously we're going to keep the words the diagram. and we can say the diagram illustrates. We can change how to the way. That's nice and simple. Rainwater is collected. That's the same as the description. In a town in Australia, obviously is the paraphrase for in an Australian town. So that's really nice and simple, and I'm sure all of you could write that without any problem at all. The second introduction, the diagram illustrates the process of. Now we could say the process of, the method of, the steps involved in. Now each of those end in a preposition so that means the word form is going to change. Now we've got is collected, we've got that in the description and in the first introduction but because we need to change the word form because of the preposition it will be collecting. So it would be the process of collecting rainwater in order to use it for. Now we've got another paraphrase. It's the same word, use, but we're using it as a verb this time instead of a noun in order to use it for drinking water in a town in Australia. Let's move on to number three. We've got a diagram illustrates the collection of rainwater. So now we've gone from is collected, collecting, to the collection, a noun. The collection of rainwater and how it is processed to be used for drinking water in a town in Australia. Now, of course, to be processed, that's extra information, but it is a process anyway. So it's absolutely fine to add that information. Now, what you can see is that the order of information that you find in the description is the same as the introductions that we've got. We've got the diagram, we've got the collection, the rainwater, then we've got... the use of, we've got drinking water, and then we've got the town. So it's the same structure, the same order of information. So let's see what we can do to change that. And let's have a look at introduction number four. The diagram illustrates the way a town in Australia collects. So now we've taken the information about a town in Australia and put it towards the beginning of the sentence. And this is the start of better paraphrasing because you are creating your own structure that's very different. The way a town in Australia collects and processes. So here we've now got again it's the same verb but we're using it in the present simple this time. Collects and processes, rainwater to be used for, drinking water. So we've got a variety of paraphrases here. I quickly summarise those paraphrases. When it comes to the verb we've got is collected, collecting and processing. the collection collects. Now we come to how, which is given in the description. We could say the way, the process of, the method of, the steps involved in. And when it comes to use, what else have we got? For the use of, that's the noun. For use as, in order to use it for, to be used for. So again, a nice variety of language. But let's move on to the last two options for the introduction, and they are better and higher band score because of the fact we've got more interesting vocabulary. So let's have a look. Here we've got introduction number five. The diagram illustrates the way a town in Australia recycles rainwater. So again we're coming back to the fact that we're making the information more precise, more specific, even though the description didn't say recycling. That's is what the process is about. And it shows that you really are a very independent user of English language, which of course is for the higher band scores. So let's continue with that. The way a town in Australia recycles rainwater to make it safe for drinking. We can improve it just a little bit more. The diagram illustrates the way in which. Now that is another option instead of just saying the way, the way in which a town in Australia. Harvests and recycles. Now this obviously is a higher band score because of the collocation to harvest rainwater. Most people know the word harvest when it's in relation to farming, so you harvest crops. But to harvest rainwater is quite an uncommon collocation and not many people know it, so this really is higher band score. Harvest and recycles rainwater so that it It can be safely consumed. And now we're actually independent completely of anything relating to the word drinking. So that's a fantastic way to start your introduction. But of course, all of these paraphrases that we've looked at can be used, as I said, in the overview and body paragraphs. So when it comes to maps, because obviously you realize I haven't mentioned maps. Well, maps are pretty much the same as diagrams. have just the description, but occasionally a map might have an extra title, and that's something to look out for. I won't cover that here because you can find it on my website, and of course you now know all the techniques involved. Before we finish, I do want to quickly mention this. Okay, so this actually represents an idiom. Do you know this idiom? No? As you can see, there's an elephant in the room. So the idiom is address the elephant in the room. The word address is a verb and the reason I'm including this is because before I finish I want to quickly say something to you and I would like to address the elephant in the room. Now this is obviously my first video lesson in many many many years because of my health problems as many of you know and during that time yes my hair has turned gray. Now, this isn't something negative. Age is a very, very special thing because it means that you are still alive and you've lived yet another year. Age is something that you want. And when it comes to grey hair, to be really honest, I actually quite like it. But anyway, the reason I'm using that idiom is because the elephant in the room is something very obvious. It's something that everyone knows about and everyone can see. But nobody's actually said anything. and this thing that no one's talking about is sitting there, very obvious. So to address it is to address the elephant in the room, and in this case the elephant was my grey hair. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the idiom, I think it's a great one. Now it's time for you to go over to ieltsliz.com and don't forget to check the marking criteria and the band score descriptors. Take care of yourselves, bye-bye for now.

We're going to look at a variety of different tasks during the lesson and of course I'm going to show you where you can find model answers for all the tasks that we look at. Now we're going to start with this simple chart here and luckily the introduction paragraph for bar charts, line graphs, tables and pie charts is exactly the same. So the same mistakes to avoid and the same techniques when you're writing it.

As you can see, there's a description above the chart and IELTS will always give you that. It's called the rubric. So let's have a quick look. The chart below shows the sales for a coffee shop in a town in the UK from 2000 to 2020. Now, most teachers will tell you the first thing to do is just paraphrase the description. But actually, the first step is going to be looking at what information we don't put in the introduction.

Now, as you can see, there are columns, bars, and those columns and bars represent data. Now, all the features of those columns and the data all belong in the overview and body paragraphs, not in the introduction. So we can remove them. So what's left?

We've got the description. We've got currency down the side. We've got six categories.

Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup. We've also got years and we've got a title which also contains information and all of that needs to be introduced. Now, I have an introduction paragraph ready for you.

Here it is. It contains 35 words and 15 errors. That's a lot of mistakes. Let's have a quick look.

The diagram below give the information for the sales of, for example, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, food in a cafe, which locates in an English village from 2000 to 2020, units measure in pounds sterling. So there are 15 errors in that. Gosh. And I want you to find those errors. That will be my challenge to you.

But what type of errors are they? Well, obviously IELTS is an English language test, so you're going to find vocabulary errors and grammar errors. However, because in IELTS Writing Task 1 you've also got other marking criteria which relate to information, and that is all about whether your information is accurate, whether it's misleading, or something is missing or confusing.

and so you're going to find that there'll be problems with information as well. So all of this is connecting to the marking criteria. So let's put this up full screen.

I want you to find as many errors as you can. Pause the video. So how many mistakes did you find?

Well let's take a look. This is the introduction paragraph that I gave you and down here I will create an accurate version of that introduction. It won't be the best version.

I'll show you how to improve it after this. But let's start with the first mistake, and that is the word diagram. Now, this is a diagram.

We weren't given a diagram. We were given a chart. Now, when I'll say it's a chart, it's a chart. You don't need to change that word at all.

But in this case, we could improve it and be more accurate and say it's a bar chart. So that's what we'll do. The next word, below.

When you're writing, there's nothing below. A simple mistake like putting in the word below, it still counts as an error. So next, we've got four words. Give the information for. Four words, three mistakes.

The verb should have an s on the end. One chart gives. The article the, we don't need it. And the preposition should be about. So it should say the.

bar chart gives information about. The next mistake is the word sales. Now, obviously, this is not the mistake with vocabulary. It's a mistake with information. Because there's information missing.

We were told that these were average monthly sales. And we need to provide that information. So we can make a very simple change and we can change average to typical. And we can keep the words monthly sales.

It's fine to do that. So let's pop that in. The next mistake. Now that's actually really interesting. And that is for example.

A lot of people put this into their introduction without thinking. Now your task in writing task one is to write a report based on what you see. Your task is to report the factual information.

You're not going to be giving examples of the information. You will be giving the information. So in writing task one, there are no examples. That is for writing task two, which is an essay.

So in this case, it would be wrong to say, for example. So we don't need that at all. We can remove it.

Next. is a problem with the categories. Now firstly, one of the problems is the categories are in the wrong order, tea, coffee. Now every time the examiner has to stop and think, oh that's strange, then it's a problem for your bound score because it means that you're a problem with the information or possibly with language, in this case the information. So get the categories in the right order.

The next problem with the categories is that there are only four categories given. We've got coffee, tea, hot chocolate. food. So it's illogical to give each of the three drinks but summarize the food categories as one. So this confuses the reader and that shouldn't happen.

So you have a choice. You can either name the categories one by one in the introduction or you give the number of categories. Now I know you're going to be asking which one do I do? Do I give the number or the names?

Well, it depends on what you've been given in the chart. So, for example, this bar chart, as you can see, there are so many columns. There are actually nine groups of columns, and each column is an age group. Now, if you were to list each age group one by one, the sentence would become too long, and that's not what we're looking for in English grammar, particularly in IELTS. So, in that case, if you've got nine age groups, you would say nine age groups.

and you would summarize it in that way. But our chart only had six categories and there was only one category with two words, so it's okay to list them one by one. And the other mistake with the categories of course was there should be the word and before the final item in the list.

So moving on, the next mistake is of course the word cafe. Well firstly A cafe and a coffee shop are not exactly the same thing. They are listed as synonyms in a dictionary or in a thesaurus but actually they're slightly different.

A cafe has a more extensive food menu usually and a coffee shop is more focused on the drinks, particularly coffee obviously, so they're not entirely the same. But the biggest problem here is not actually the paraphrase, it's the fact that there's information missing. We know the name of the coffee shop and that is what should be in there.

Copper coffee shop. So moving on, the next problem is actually with grammar and that is which locates. Should be which is located.

Next we've got the English village. Now I'm sure you all spotted that. The UK is actually not English, it's British and if you're not familiar with your nationalities, don't take a chance because you don't want to increase your errors and just repeat what was given in the description and use the country name instead.

but this should be British. And of course a village, well it wasn't a village it was a town. In the UK we've got cities, towns, villages and hamlets, which is the smallest.

They're not the same. So that's a big mistake there. Next, this isn't actually a mistake but it's a missed opportunity for paraphrasing and that is from and to.

The words from and to were given in the description and we can change that very quickly and easily to between. and and and everyone of all levels of English should be making that change because it's so easy to do. Then we come to the final sentence. There were two mistakes in the final sentence. Did you spot them?

Well the first mistake is with measure. It should be units are measured in and the next mistake is actually with pound sterling. Now if you go back to the chart and you see currencies are listed along the side here, you will see that pound sterling starts with a capital P and a capital S.

But when you put those words into a sentence they need to be grammatically correct. they shouldn't have capital letters. So this really is testing your ability to use capital letters effectively. And that use of capital letters is part of grammar for the marking criteria in Arch Writing Task 1. So that would count as a grammar mistake. So we've got quite a lot of mistakes there.

I hope you learned something and please try to remember them. But let's go over the introduction that we now have that is accurate. The bar chart.

gives information about the typical monthly sales of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup for Cuppa Coffee Shop which is located in a British town. Between 2000 and 2020 units are measured in pounds sterling. So let's have a look now at something higher band score and you'll see that really it's just a few extra changes but let's have a look.

The first change I've got is with the word illustrates. the verbs that you've got to use in Arts Writing Task 1 for the introduction are shows, gives information about, and illustrates. Now they are actually of equal value.

That's not a change to make it higher level, it's just an alternative that I'm showing you. And you can use any of those three verbs with any task in Writing Task 1. And I know that you're probably going to find examples of other verbs that are used online, but really you don't need any more. Learn those three, it's all you need for a band score nine.

Now, the real change that's come about here is actually with the information, the amount of money made from the sales, because that's actually what the bar chart is about. Now, a higher band score is when you are more precise. You're giving clearer information. That's what takes your band score up.

So when you start paraphrasing, it's very important that your paraphrases are taking it to a higher level where you're more specific with information. And a lot of people don't think about that when they paraphrase. They just think, is it a better word?

But a lot of the time it's about information. Next, we've got the sales of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, sandwiches, cakes and soup in a typical month. So here we've got the paraphrase from average monthly sales. to in a typical month.

And what we've also done is we've separated the information. The word sales is no longer with that. It's separate.

And this is part of paraphrasing as well. You're changing the order of information and that changes the grammar structure. So paraphrasing isn't just about using synonyms. It's also about creating a unique grammar structure that you've created in the test room.

After that, we've got in cup of coffee shop. located in a British town. Now, in this case, you could use which is located or located in. Either is fine.

And then we've got the three years. We've got in 2000, 2010, 2020. Now, why give only two years when, in fact, you could very easily give all three? Now, again, be more specific, be more accurate.

And here we've got another introduction. which is the bar chart illustrates the typical monthly revenue. And actually, this is the higher band score, the word revenue.

And then it says of cup of coffee shop located in a British town from the sales of six food and drink items. Now, that isn't necessarily better. It's the other option. And I wanted to show you in 2000, 2010 and 2020 units are measured in pound sterling. So as you can see these are quite small changes but they do change everything.

Now it's time to challenge you with something more difficult and what I have here for you is a multiple task. So we've got the table, we've got the pie charts and I am going to challenge you to write this introduction on your own. So remember the steps involved.

You want to remove the information that you're not going to put into the introduction. You will be using the description given as a foundation only. And then you need to look at what other information you need to add.

Then you need to paraphrase. But paraphrasing doesn't mean changing words all the time. You need to choose those synonyms wisely and then write it your way. Now, because you've got two tasks, you've got. the table and you've got the pie charts, you will be introducing both of them into one introduction paragraph.

You're not going to separate it and that means you'll have one sentence for the table on one sentence for the pie chart. Now if you wanted to link those sentences together, you could link them together using the word while as a connective device. But anyway, I will leave this one to you.

Let's put this full screen. Write your introduction now. Pause the video. Have you written your introduction?

Well, let's write an introduction together. Now, obviously, we've got the description up above. So let's just quickly read that. The table and charts give information about the total cost and sources of fish.

imported to the US between 1988 and 2000. We've also got a heading in the table, which is billions of dollars. In the pie chart, we've also got categories of countries, and of course, we've got years as well. So let's start writing our introduction down here.

We'll start off with the table, because the table is a table. Yes, it contains data, but the data is in the form of a table. And we don't need to change the word.

So the table. When it comes to the verb, well, in the description, they use give information about. And if you remember, we can have give information about, show and illustrate. So in this case, we're going to use show. And don't forget the S, the table shows.

Now, the table is actually about the total cost of fish. And that's actually meaning that America spent that money. So that's how we can phrase it to be very precise.

And we can say the table shows how much the US spent. Now, obviously, this was a total cost. So therefore, we can say how much the US spent in total.

And of course, we don't need to change the word total because we're using it in a different way by saying in total. And this is showing the examiner that you understand which preposition matches the word. Then we can say on imported fish. So don't forget we spend money.

something, so that is your preposition, on. And imported fish, they said fish imported, which means fish that was imported, but we're using it as an adjective here, imported fish. So again, you're sharing that flexibility with words.

After that, we can just list all three years. Then we can put a comma while, and this is us connecting those two sentences, one about the table and one about the pie charts. While the pie chart, illustrate because that's the next verb to use and of course there's no s because it's plural. The pie charts illustrate the proportion of and of course proportion of is a paraphrase for the percentage. The proportion of fish brought in from and this is to paraphrase source from China, Canada and and this is where you have to adapt the heading.

Now it said others, but it's not grammatically correct to say China, Canada, and others. You would need to say China, Canada, and other countries. And then we can write units are measured in billions of dollars in the table and percentage in the pie charts.

Does that look all right to you? Because actually there's a problem with the final sentence. Can you see it?

Okay, well, we have already introduced that the pie charts represent percentage because we've said the pie charts illustrate the proportional and that's the paraphrase for percentage. Now in writing task one it's a short report it's only about 170 to 190 words in length and you should not be repeating information in fact you do get a lower bound score if there is repetition of information. So we've introduced the percentages already so we don't need that information.

So what have we got left now? We've got Units are measured in billions of dollars in the table. Now what's the problem? Can you see it? Well, the next problem is that it's illogical organization of information.

If you look at the introduction that we've got, we've got information about the table, information about the pie charts, and then we give more information about the table. So it's illogical. And that affects your band score. Because logical organization of information It's not just about paragraphing. And that's the marking criteria of coherence and cohesion.

Now, obviously, I will show you where you can find information about the band scores. So don't worry about that. But it is important that you do understand the marking criteria before you enter the test room.

So because we've got this illogical organization of information in our introduction, we need to change it. And this is how we do it. We can rewrite the introduction. The table shows how much the US spent in total in billions of dollars. on imported fish.

And that is how you put that information in. So it's not always necessary to actually have units are measured in. You don't always need that sentence. Anyway, that is the finished introduction.

But let me show you an alternative. So here we've got the introduction that we've just written. And now let's have a look. The table shows the total expenditure of the US in billions of dollars on imported fish.

Again, it is the expenditure is about the money spent. So it's a perfect paraphrase to use. And then we've got the years in 1988, 1992 and 2000. While the pie charts illustrate the proportion of fish that was sourced. Now we are using the word source in the description. It was used as a noun.

We're using it as a verb and using it as a past passive. Fantastic. And then it says, from China, Canada, and other countries in the same three years.

Now, that was important information to give, which didn't exist in this introduction. Right, now let's have a look at diagrams. So I've got two diagrams that I want to review with you.

The first one is a life cycle. Now, the life cycle is not the most common diagram to be given in IELTS. but the reason I want to just quickly review it is because the paraphrasing is actually quite tricky and people get quite stuck on it. So I want to give you a couple of options that you can learn and use if you get a life cycle.

And of course the next diagram is a process this is the most common form of diagram to get and this has got fantastic paraphrasing options. I absolutely love it. Now before we have a look at those let me quickly show you where you can find model answers for everything that you've seen today, as well as some information about the marking criteria. So let's whiz over to ieltsliz.com.

Welcome to ieltsliz.com. Let's start with having a look for the band score information that I told you about. If we go to test information, you can see a drop down menu.

And one of the options is for the band scores. If you click on that, it will go to a page with information about the band scores for all parts of the IELTS test. If we go over to the writing section of the website and we click on writing task one and we scroll down, the first thing is test information. And you will find a link to the band scores here as well.

But this page takes you to the band scores only for writing task one, and they are more detailed. They include tips about how you can improve your band score for each of the marking criteria. So please have a look.

It's really important to know that information. before you enter the test room. If you scroll down further you'll find practice charts, there might be a feature video and below that you'll find model answers for every type of task in IELTS Writing Task 1. Further down you'll find practice lessons. Now some of these practice lessons also have model answers as the answers to the lesson and you'll find for example the model answer to the table and pie charts that we've literally just done. Anyway you will have time to have a look through and enjoy all the lessons, tips, model answers and everything.

It's all free and I made it for you. Let's return now to our video lesson and continue. Now let's look at the diagram.

So we've got a life cycle diagram and it says in the description the diagram shows the life cycle of a frog. That's short. What do we do with this? Well, obviously, the first thing will be to look at what information doesn't go in the introduction. Now, we've got pictures and words, and those pictures are the same as the columns in the bar chart, and the words are the same as the data in a bar chart, and basically, that's what doesn't go into the introduction.

So, if we remove the pictures, and we remove the words connecting to the pictures, what have we got left? We have nothing left except just... the description.

So unless there was an extra title, for example, an Amazonian frog, if the actual diagram named the type of frog, obviously we would include that as an extra title. But this diagram doesn't have an extra title. So therefore, the only thing we have to use is this description.

Now the problem is that a diagram is a diagram. We don't want to change that because it is a diagram. And a frog is a frog. Now obviously there is the word toad and sometimes you might find that as a synonym if you look in a thesaurus but actually a frog and a toad are not actually the same. So all we've got left is the word life cycle.

and what can we do with that? So I'm going to just give you three options for introductions and I just want you to learn them and then you can use them if you do get a life cycle. So let's have a look at the first one. The diagram illustrates the stages in the life of a frog. It's simple, it's factual, it's absolutely fine to use.

Number two, the diagram illustrates the phases a frog passes through during its life. Another option, the diagram illustrates the stages of development that a frog passes through during its lifetime. Now I just want to point out that obviously, you know, the last one is probably the best, but that's not because of length.

It doesn't matter whether it's short or long, the most important thing is that it's very, very precise and specific, and you're using a nice range of language, because obviously we need to paraphrase life cycle. Now, obviously, this is so different in writing task two, isn't it? Because for writing task two, it doesn't matter which type of essay you get.

Your introduction will be a similar length. But writing task one is not an essay. It is a report. And the length of paragraphs will not be uniform. It's not going to be the same with each type that you get.

And it will change depending on the information that you're given and the type of task you're given. So don't worry about length. and it doesn't matter whether it's longer or shorter, it's all fine. Now let's look at the diagram about a process.

And of course, we've got the description, so let's have a quick read. The diagram below shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town. And then of course, we've got the actual process itself.

As always, we remove the information that doesn't go in the introduction, and the only thing that we are left with is the description. There are no titles, no subheadings, nothing extra to put in, just the description. Now for this introduction I've actually got six possibilities for you, ranging from about a band score 6.5 all the way up to the highest band scores.

So let's start with the first four. So here we've got our description, let's have a look at the first introduction. Now obviously we're going to keep the words the diagram.

and we can say the diagram illustrates. We can change how to the way. That's nice and simple. Rainwater is collected. That's the same as the description.

In a town in Australia, obviously is the paraphrase for in an Australian town. So that's really nice and simple, and I'm sure all of you could write that without any problem at all. The second introduction, the diagram illustrates the process of.

Now we could say the process of, the method of, the steps involved in. Now each of those end in a preposition so that means the word form is going to change. Now we've got is collected, we've got that in the description and in the first introduction but because we need to change the word form because of the preposition it will be collecting.

So it would be the process of collecting rainwater in order to use it for. Now we've got another paraphrase. It's the same word, use, but we're using it as a verb this time instead of a noun in order to use it for drinking water in a town in Australia.

Let's move on to number three. We've got a diagram illustrates the collection of rainwater. So now we've gone from is collected, collecting, to the collection, a noun.

The collection of rainwater and how it is processed to be used for drinking water in a town in Australia. Now, of course, to be processed, that's extra information, but it is a process anyway. So it's absolutely fine to add that information.

Now, what you can see is that the order of information that you find in the description is the same as the introductions that we've got. We've got the diagram, we've got the collection, the rainwater, then we've got... the use of, we've got drinking water, and then we've got the town. So it's the same structure, the same order of information. So let's see what we can do to change that.

And let's have a look at introduction number four. The diagram illustrates the way a town in Australia collects. So now we've taken the information about a town in Australia and put it towards the beginning of the sentence.

And this is the start of better paraphrasing because you are creating your own structure that's very different. The way a town in Australia collects and processes. So here we've now got again it's the same verb but we're using it in the present simple this time. Collects and processes, rainwater to be used for, drinking water.

So we've got a variety of paraphrases here. I quickly summarise those paraphrases. When it comes to the verb we've got is collected, collecting and processing. the collection collects.

Now we come to how, which is given in the description. We could say the way, the process of, the method of, the steps involved in. And when it comes to use, what else have we got?

For the use of, that's the noun. For use as, in order to use it for, to be used for. So again, a nice variety of language. But let's move on to the last two options for the introduction, and they are better and higher band score because of the fact we've got more interesting vocabulary. So let's have a look.

Here we've got introduction number five. The diagram illustrates the way a town in Australia recycles rainwater. So again we're coming back to the fact that we're making the information more precise, more specific, even though the description didn't say recycling. That's is what the process is about.

And it shows that you really are a very independent user of English language, which of course is for the higher band scores. So let's continue with that. The way a town in Australia recycles rainwater to make it safe for drinking. We can improve it just a little bit more. The diagram illustrates the way in which.

Now that is another option instead of just saying the way, the way in which a town in Australia. Harvests and recycles. Now this obviously is a higher band score because of the collocation to harvest rainwater. Most people know the word harvest when it's in relation to farming, so you harvest crops. But to harvest rainwater is quite an uncommon collocation and not many people know it, so this really is higher band score.

Harvest and recycles rainwater so that it It can be safely consumed. And now we're actually independent completely of anything relating to the word drinking. So that's a fantastic way to start your introduction.

But of course, all of these paraphrases that we've looked at can be used, as I said, in the overview and body paragraphs. So when it comes to maps, because obviously you realize I haven't mentioned maps. Well, maps are pretty much the same as diagrams.

have just the description, but occasionally a map might have an extra title, and that's something to look out for. I won't cover that here because you can find it on my website, and of course you now know all the techniques involved. Before we finish, I do want to quickly mention this. Okay, so this actually represents an idiom.

Do you know this idiom? No? As you can see, there's an elephant in the room.

So the idiom is address the elephant in the room. The word address is a verb and the reason I'm including this is because before I finish I want to quickly say something to you and I would like to address the elephant in the room. Now this is obviously my first video lesson in many many many years because of my health problems as many of you know and during that time yes my hair has turned gray. Now, this isn't something negative. Age is a very, very special thing because it means that you are still alive and you've lived yet another year.

Age is something that you want. And when it comes to grey hair, to be really honest, I actually quite like it. But anyway, the reason I'm using that idiom is because the elephant in the room is something very obvious.

It's something that everyone knows about and everyone can see. But nobody's actually said anything. and this thing that no one's talking about is sitting there, very obvious. So to address it is to address the elephant in the room, and in this case the elephant was my grey hair.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the idiom, I think it's a great one. Now it's time for you to go over to ieltsliz.com and don't forget to check the marking criteria and the band score descriptors. Take care of yourselves, bye-bye for now.

Transcript for:Mastering IELTS Writing Introductions

Transcript for:
Mastering IELTS Writing Introductions