awesome right but then he took it a little bit further and he looks at the grow he goes if you don't take him home I will which is like just a little weird like just a little like weird and creepy and and so it it kind of like peaked the girls interest a little too much she's like who was that what was that about right who are you why like why do people know you and she kept asking and asking and asking I mean while with my job I can't really tell the girl the first five minutes of the interaction what I do it gets a little too weird secondly I was filming it so I like don't want to like you know I can't look in any way so I sort of hid that fact from her and it made what should have been a really really easy poll actually a very very difficult poll like she gave me some really really harsh [ __ ] test she was like threatening to like just walk away if I wouldn't like like Google myself right then and like show her like everything about me so yeah but basically what it was it looked like I was hiding something it looked like I had an agenda and the fact of the matter is I did so you know whatever right so yeah that definitely is a big problem all right what else in congruence yeah absolutely yeah exactly hiding something anyway this is saying yes it's another form of lie right sort of a more oblique form of lie yeah yes yes yes anything that make her feel judged or make her feel slowly right so that's why the phrase like my place is such a big deal right cuz like just the idea I went to his place it triggers like thoughts of judgment triggers thoughts of being [ __ ] in her head right or the other one is if you escalate too much in front of her friends right that can be a huge huge huge like she'll like get turned off get like too much whatever because she's afraid of appearing [ __ ] okay so these are the things to definitely avoid and what you're doing here basically is you're starting to calibrate to the blueprint of a girl in general right you have this idea in your head there's like mental model of what is a girl and within that model you're sort of like saying okay if that's if that's the model how can I not offend or how can I not push too far how can I not give her red flags all right so this is calibration before the fact on a very very rudimentary level how many you guys do this like avoid red flags it should this should be everybody in the like should be everybody in the room if it's not we have problems all right like if you watched rst video it's damn it you should be doing this alright yeah yeah it's a doing that will sometimes get me back into zero work if I'm trying to cut off every obstacle it's gonna come by her feelings uncomfortable then maybe I'll just have that plate all in a conversation with her and no isiliye whatsoever gotcha gotcha cuz you're so afraid of the red flags that can stuff gotcha um so what would be a good solution for that yes what would be a good version of trial and error that we've taught like ten minutes ago like she steps for ones that that will be an even better version of that you're almost there yeah escalation but you have to come up with it yourself you have to come up with your own little ways of doing it so I guess it does go back to that yeah um big thing kind of what I told him when we tell you is it doesn't matter if you do it perfectly as long as you're in the right ballpark okay there's a thing with I always say like the frame controls the words in a conversation right so if I come up to you and approach you and my view in my head is I think of a piece of [ __ ] I think I'm low value I think you're gonna hate me I really hope that you'll like me because it would mean everything to me and prove to me that I'm a man I can be really verbally smooth and really witty and clever it doesn't matter because everything that comes out of my mouth is gonna be low value so it makes sense if on the other hands I'm thinking like I'm the [ __ ] but not in like a try-hard way just I'm amazing you'd be lucky to be in a relationship with me and if we have sex would be like a great experience for everybody or I have I'm coming from that attitude even if I'm not very smooth the genuineness and the truth that I believe that is going to come through in my words and even if I [ __ ] up a little bit my [ __ ] ups will be very small that make sense so having the right outlook or in this case the right idea of the calibration it will correct most of those minor errors along the way right so maybe like maybe it would have been smoother to like subtly rub her shoulders and gaze into her eyes instead you like you know just kind of like grabbed or grabbed her arm just lightly and saw if she liked that it's not perfect it's not as good as if you had the perfect move but it will still work that make sense all right cool yeah how do you shift from that mentality from this piece of [ __ ] because I've dealt with that I've dealt with regression I'm gonna have moments like that sometimes to have you shift from that feeling to I'm the [ __ ] all the time how do you switch that that's I'm gonna I'll answer briefly but I'll also say that's a long topic that's a little off the scope of this talk so I don't want to go too deep into it but the biggest thing the biggest two things maybe three one I'd say list the positive things that you do bring to a relationship to make a serious serious commitment that when you're with a girl you'll try and make her life better rather than worse because that will come through and then the third is whenever you do have positive experiences with girls definitely focus very much on those and treat that treat the negatives learning experience treat the positives as like internal and part of you that's like the quick and dirty answer but that's kind of off topic a bit all right cool um all right so we've now avoided red flags we're dealing with the typical female blueprint now let's look at next level of calibration this is something you guys may not be familiar with so I mentioned before there are other ways to calibrate or other ways to escalate other than physical yes all right what a let's see who knows who knows my theory really well what other ways are they escalate besides physical yeah we like strong hikent they led cool so you're basically rights logistical verbal and verbal so you basically got them all okay so here are the ways that you can escalate first is you can escalate physically right and that's that's the fun one because that's directly seems to be leading to sex etc right we've talked about that in the invisible escalation we talked about that with the moves you get physical etc next one is logistical right so moving the girl from you're talking to her friends to now you're just talking to her and then you're talking to her in isolation and then you're sitting down with her and then you're closer to the exit and then you're outside and then you're at a bar and then you're at your place and then you're in your bedroom right so that's logistical right very very important very critical next one is there are two ways to escalate verbally that are very very very valuable first verbal escalation is talk about more sexual topics right and this one's generally pretty safe and you can do it very very lightly okay I'll give you an example I should give you an example and I'll give you like kind of a technique that you guys can do there's an old-school pickup routine it's actually pretty good it's called the question game who here knows a question game a couple of people alright cool so the question game goes basically like this as far as to play it with who gonna play with you all right so I'll just like outline the rules for you so here's the game all right I'm gonna ask you questions you have to answer honestly and you get to ask me a question I have to answer honestly that's it that's the whole game now how does that help you get laid so I'm gonna explain to me how that actually helps you get laid I think you get more sexual at the end yes why he said okay so it's not the game per se that does what he said the questions get more sexual towards the end all right because you are going to choose the nature of the questions right if she's in a vibe with you and you ask a more sexual question she's probably gonna respond with a more sexual question right it would be weird if if down the road in the game you're asking like you know what her favorite sexual position is and she goes like what's your favorite color right just there's a disconnect there all right and so the key to the game is that you start off asking questions that are not sex questions but they're related to sex questions so you don't say you don't start off with like do you like to be [ __ ] hard or soft so that's a little strong all right but you might start off with do you have any tattoos or piercings all right that's just a little bit because there's that like sort of like cultural association of tattoos and piercings with things sexual all right or like how old were you and you had your first drink right because there's a connotation of drinking a connotation of getting into trouble as a kid that does kind of equate culturally to sex right also there definitely is a was the word correlation between drinking and sex all right people who drink more do have more sex all right so you're asking these questions that are vaguely sexual but not actually sex and then she'll respond with something the same vein and then you'll ratchet it up like 10% 15% 20% and then you'll ratchet it up and ratchet it up right and it leads you down this path toward sex right this is what I'm suggesting with escalating the topic of the conversation so you start off talking about platonic oh this random you know political event or this random thing that happened in sports or the weather or whatever right and then you're gonna talk about maybe an interesting thing that happens that was was a kind of sexy political event or something like that who knows and then you're going to talk about an experience you had where you were like embarrassed as a teenager or something like that and then you'll talk about your first kiss as a teenager and you can see where it's going from here okay so it's a gradual escalation of the topic in the sense that the topic itself gets more and more sexual right and this is a very subtle escalation especially if it's done in stages that almost nobody is going to resist or react negatively to assuming that they like you and the conversations going well okay so that's one form of verbal escalation is escalating the topic essentially without saying hey we're gonna play the question game essentially you turn the interaction into a version of the question game you're gonna gradually escalate the topic okay the second form of verbal escalation is what I call escalating the pronoun okay now pronoun is I you we the way you do instead of saying like instead of saying Todd I say I write or instead of saying like Todd and Kevin I say us or we write escalating the pronoun so when you start off if you're talking about yourself that's very safe no one can object to anything you say about yourself right it's assumed as true if you start talking about her and essentially making statements about her she might react to that if I say like you're you're kind of a bad girl right she might reject that she might give you a [ __ ] test something like that right but by talking about her you're making it more intimate so if we're going from I to you it's an increased level of intimacy all right and then the next level of intimacy increases to go from you to we oh my god what are we gonna do together you're gonna be so bad for me all right when you're putting the two of you together now that's another form of escalation okay so that's the fourth kind of escalation is verbal escalation of the relationship right changing the pronoun in the relationship okay so those are the four types of escalation and that's a very advanced escalation technique because it is very subtle and the idea here is that you should be escalating all of them kind of simultaneously because when you start escalating to talking about.we it just makes sense to get physical it would be weird if you weren't getting physical at that point on the other hand if you get very physical and you're still like can't talk about anything sexual you can't you're talking about like just telling random stories about yourself that's weird and incongruent okay so escalating all of them together makes every step of the escalation happen better happen more easily happen more naturally okay so that's the next level yeah sure off the top of my oh I'll tell you what are the so I'll actually leave it to the crowd a little bit what are the characteristics you could ask a girl about herself that would make her more likely to be DTF that night or more likely to be polo ball that night what are the questions you guys could ask if they're adventurous cool okay interesting where do you like to be kissed yeah that is okay you can sit yourself independent sure what are your passions absolutely okay how old you had your first kiss sure how many boyfriends have you had yeah be careful with that one because you might put yourself in the in the boyfriend frame a little bit but yeah so these are all general ideas other good ones are anything to do with tattoos and piercings anything with like partying partying drink going out listen be good another big one is travel particularly traveling alone or adventures while traveling risky things while traveling those kind of things another one is getting into trouble whether it be legal or trouble in school those kind of things like naughty things you've done kind of those are tend to be pretty good and then obviously you do have the ache escalation of first kiss for sex those kind of things you can take it to the level of threesomes and that kind of stuff if you want to yeah but that's kind of a good general idea most of the ones that these guys throw out are pretty good as well look just like a girl might talk about your first drink and pepes whatever I like that's kind of big jump um not necessarily if the vibe is good if the vibe is good and you're talking about that kind of stuff yeah if you ever I'll teach you actually another technique later if you want to bridge that there's a there's a quote that I'm sorry there's a technique I'm gonna tell you in a little bit called quotes that will help you to make those big jumps so what gets us will get to another technique for that as well does everybody understand this idea of escalating on the four different ways everybody gets it yeah okay so those are the two verbal ones escalate the konbu escalate the pronoun escalate the logistics move her around and then physical escalate physically right so you gonna be escalating all four of those ideally and sometimes sometimes some of those may be off limits right if she's around her friends you probably won't escalate physically very much but you can still escalate and have an intimate conversation and still have her won and go home with you by escalating the other three right you still escalate the conversational topic you still eventually move her away from her friends and then you can escalate physically right all those kind of things I mean if you're with her friends and her friends are just like say you're sitting on a couch two friends sitting over there talking you're sitting on the couch talking to her and you're whispering sexual things back and forth in her ear with her friends right there excuse me that's already pretty sexual that's already pretty close to taking her home excuse me and if you're doing that mm sorry guys Wow if you're doing all that then you don't necessarily have to get super super physical yeah so you're saying during the course the interaction oh that was all for time something like anything even food over the course of the interaction so you you want to be generally if things are going well you ought to be constantly escalating in really tiny ways that make sense and that escalation can occur over any of the four channels yeah you said this should kind of come naturally but for the sake of practice for a beginner would you say that you should try going through each category in a sequence or going you know a couple on one a couple in another couple on it I really like his suggestion of making lists right he said like the list of things to the question game you said like the list of physical things if you truly feel lost in this I would say make a list of statements you could make that are escalating the pronoun make a list of statements your statements are conversational topics that escalate towards sex make a list kind of in your head just venue by venue of places you could take it within the venue and then have kind of an idea in your head of things you could do physically and kind of just try and move down the list in the way that makes sense to you all right that's a good general way to probably do it without overloading yourself and don't be too strict about it don't be too worried about going the exact sequence don't be too worried about like making sure that you've got one step on each one and all that so it's it's not that exact okay it's not so precise but it's good to have a general roadmap so I do like that night that's why I said when when you said that I'm like we're definitely gonna include something like that cuz that's a really really good idea that's a phenomenal idea yeah just escalating that as well like you know a little like let's I don't know if it's act like the example you are giving the defense were sitting on the couch versus a town fair all of a sudden that the nightlife likes to go home just creating like this little atmospheres were there's sorry just like the two of us together who's just like escalating that as well or I've seen like a difference in that like I've seen Tyler its and videos he just like pulls a girl you know like all the sudden in sweet versus you know escalating yeah yeah so first of all there are no absolutes in game there's no like this is the right move for that situation or this isn't because it depends on the girl depends on the friends depends on the scenario etc I would definitely say in general getting the girl away from her friends is preferred to staying with the friends but take that with a grain of salt because it's also a place where you might get resistance right but getting away from the friends is generally better and the other thing I'll say is in general here's a rule of game which actually deals a lot with calibration which is they say don't say what you can nod don't nod what you can wink don't wink what you can smile okay and what that really means is less is more if you can get the same effect by doing less it's more powerful so if instead of yanking her away you can just be like okay tell your friends were going over here and she tells her friends hey it's less effort be it came from her instead of you so the friends won't resist it right so typically if there's a low energy less invested way less try hard way to make something happen that's the better way right general rules though no out remember always a never there's no always and ever okay yeah all right cool all right so we got the four levels or four to four different ways that you can escalate so let's look a little deeper so we talked about not being creepy in general as escalating to the general female blueprint understanding female psychology and not being creepy now you can take that a step further and make it actually a win for the girl right how can you make things a win for the girl how do you go about doing that well a way that I like to think about this is if the girl afterwards like after sleeping with you at night or after giving you a number where to go tell her friends about the interaction she's gonna go tell them the story of the interaction what story would she tell right would she like to tell this story that this like a very play rich guy came up to me and wanted to [ __ ] me and then like you know I was just feeling horny so I let him is that the story she wants to tell her friends yes no no probably not right on the other hand how about I met this guy and you know at first he didn't like me but you know I want him over and it turned out we had this really great connection and then we went home and just just just a talk and then one thing led to another and it was beautiful right that's like a much much much better story to tell her friends so what I'm basically telling you here is two things one be conscious of what is female psychology and what does she want from it like an evolutionary and social level and then to constantly be asking herself what is the story in her head how is this playing out for her how is she viewing me how she viewing the situation how can I make it a more positive experience for her okay I'll talk about it's kind of a weird example but it's good in the sense that you know I came up earlier so I talked about the girl in LA who found well I didn't want her to find out what I do for a living right what do you think happens to girls when I'm talking to them they like me and then they find out what I do for a living freak out sometimes not usually gonna mix I get a mix I get I get some very predictable behaviors though but yeah sometimes yeah here's what here's what typically happens here's what happens a lot they get very very intrigued very very interested very intrigued maybe even they view me as higher value because especially because not only am I doing it I'm pretty success what if they say like my YouTube channels oh [ __ ] that's this many people watch that video whatever right so I get value out of it they get intrigued by it but one very very big thing happens which is automatically having sex with me is framed as being tricked by my tactics in their head right and so what I'll get is these girls that will like become massively unflavoured over again but they will be like they want to see me over and over again and not have sex with me because in their mind the way that they win is if this guy they can have sex with everyone can't have sex with them but still wants to see them over and over again how can they be more high-value than that right social value wise that's like the ultimate win for them and so that's the behavior that they exhibit right on the other hand if I sleep with a girl first and then I show her what I do now what's the like what the paradigm in her head or what's the what's the the story in her head what's that not okay so if before hands if they're thinking about sleeping in it with me and they haven't slept with me it's I'll just be another one of those girls afterwards what actually happens huh a lot of times yeah chosen chosen other hundreds of women there's that also if they can keep me around they win all right if instead of being the next one who I just toss aside after sex if they keep me around they win but if it just ends up being a one-night stand they lose right so they get massively more invested and wanted to like continue and like that sort of thing right so it's a much different frame so you have to ask yourself in this girl's mind in this girl's viewpoint what is winning and what is losing and if sleeping with you is losing try and avoid that scenario if sleeping with you is winning try and encourage that scenario right so ask yourself what is a win for what is a win for right now for a girl in general down the line we're gonna talk about blueprint and what does it win for this specific girl right but how do you make it a win for her all right and how can you make it a win for her number one is by being very high-value alright number two is by making it a good story all right making it a really great story number three is by taking away any of the things that would make them feel [ __ ] right number four is by actually like doing things to make them chase and work for you because people value what they work for alright so if you get her chasing and working for you along the way then when she sleeps with you she feels like she accomplished something whereas if you're pushing and pushing and pushing she's resisting she doesn't feel like she accomplished anything she feels like she gave in and lost okay so these are all little things that you can do along the way yeah I'd like to but I just kind of like I didn't have them listed before I just kind of listed them off I can try value yeah value a good story no red flags and then and then making your chase there you go absolutely yeah that's a very very good question um there are a lot of things you do for that um damn that's like that's like half of the women course right there oh really there's like so there's so much of that um a quick and dirty answer um how do you make yourself high-value without overselling yourself they cook the quick answer I'll give you is this do you guys know what the term honest signals means guys are you aware of this or not okay on a signal so honest signals are an idea from evolution right and the idea is there are certain things that can be faked and certain things that can't okay so the typical example is the peacock feathers in evolution and they're bright colored feathers right and the peahen likes that the peahen gets attracted to the peacock for the bright feathers now why are the bright feathers attractive it's because they can't be faked okay and in order to have the bright feathers one the peacock has to be eating a very nutritious diet so has to be not only surviving but thriving okay number two because it has those bright feathers and hasn't been eaten by a predator it means it's like extra suited to survival does that make sense and so it means that the peahen will be like putting good genes inside of herself it's an honest signal because the peacock can't just say oh I'd like to have bright feathers to attract a peahen he asked to actually have those bright feathers he can't fake it okay so the things that will make you appear high-value without being tryhard or if you can show a girl honest signals that you are a high-value guy by accident right that's what you really want to be doing so for example is in theory as having like really like hot expensive sports cars that attractive or unattractive it's attractive he's bragging about your hot high-end sports car attractive or unattractive unattractive he is being modest and then having they will come back to your place and when you open the garage it's just they're attractive yeah yes because you didn't brag about it and you could have sure gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha right so I'm just giving you the general principle right now okay so here's another example say that say that you have a really cool job right that's something you talked about early on in the conversation to talk about your job oftentimes if you go in and you open the conversation with I have this amazing job and to make lots of money cool or trihard trihard on the other hand if you talking or cool and then she asked what you do for a living you go I don't really talk about it let's just have fun just like no no tell me if we're really Mike you really want to know she's like yes please and then you tell her cool or trihard cool you see the difference okay so the idea is that you're going to still demonstrate your first well you're gonna know what your tractive qualities are and you're going to demonstrate them but you're never ever ever going to try to demonstrate them you might create situations where they're likely to come up you might allow her to ask about them and if anything make her ask multiple times and try so it looks modest so all those things are positives all your attractive qualities are positives but you have them come up by accident that make sense you're structuring situations where they can come up accent conceptually okay cool beyond that a lot of your sub communications are going to be doing this already for you right like why is it why is talking a lot voice attractive to girls exactly right and so that implies the honest signal of social proof and social acceptance that make sense so a lot of times if you talk to a girl in a loud voice right that's more attractive then if you're like really quiet and truck like right it's more attracted to be loud and kind of like willing to put it out there and willing to risk maybe negative social like social whatever um repercussions or whatever because the fact that you can risk it shows that when you've risked it in the past you received a positive response right so it's an honest signal of high value so the key thing in terms of being attractive that being trihard it comes down to honest signals right and so that's why that's why I teach in like in women that's why we teach like the evolution psychology and what are honest signals so that you know what those attractive cause are and you know the ways to convey them so but that's the general conceptual thing is that you want to be conveying those positive qualities by accidents because anything that's intentional can be faked anything that's unintentional is treated as true right similarly take the girl in LA right that uh same same example where she finds out that I'm somebody that I'm famous or whatever excuse me if I went up to her like hey babe I'm famous no but when some she first of all she might she probably believed it but secondly is trihard right when a random person comes by as like I love your work she believes that because it appears accidental make sense cool yeah yeah the humble brag yeah absolutely absolutely so when you're when you're downplaying a trait which actually only serves to emphasize the trait if you can do it properly yeah if you can do it in a non cheesy way absolutely for example say that I've been talking to you I've been having a really witty conversation right and then I say you know I'm I'm pretty like I'm actually pretty dumb I'm not very educated not very good my words but you know you know take me as I am does that make sense all right as opposed to being like yeah I'm a witty [ __ ] right so that that's that's a humble brag yeah so did you get what it has to be it has to be obviously not true right so like the I'm shy if you're a total newbie and you're actually scared to talk to a girl be like oh I'm shy should I go it's okay if I say I'm shy she knows I'm not [ __ ] shy okay it has to it has to be clearly not that you have to you have to have clearly demonstrated not to be the case anything that you're saying absolutely okay cool um let's move on okay so making it win-win for the girls right next is actually figure out the girl's particular blueprint that's the next level so we have this general idea of what are the traits that are attractive to every girl right then if you can take it thank you so much that's awesome thank you can you take it one step further is it's gonna explode on me by the way okay I should okay fair enough was there taking this to the next level figure out what's attracted to a particular girl so a couple just general ideas on this say that the girl is very educated right so she probably values education she probably like had good feedback from teachers she probably a lot of social approval from authority figures that sort of stuff and so she probably values that right so if you can indicate if you can make yourself a source of poor social approval for her that will work really really well if you can indicate that you're educated in subtle ways without bragging right by accidents then that will work really really well those types of things that make sense but the key idea here is to take it one step further and actually figure out what the particulars are for that particular girl I'm not gonna go super in-depth on this one one because the last talk I did for New York inner circle was all about blueprint and to because it would take a really really long time but I do want to point out that you can definitely do that beyond just looking at the specific or the general female blueprint figuring out the specific female blueprints is absolutely key all right there are certain times I'll tell you one one interaction I have actually in in women but I'm talking to this French girl very educated very smart French girl and she at a certain moment just looks at me in like the exact same facial expression at the exact same moment that my like ex-girlfriend of like eight years ago would have done and at that moment I knew that she had like that like she'd also feel like like that ex-girlfriend was German in a similar field came from a similar background etc and she gave me the same exact look of like confidence kind of semi arrogant but also approval seeking it like just the same combination look and immediately snapped into my head and I knew like exactly how to gamer I'm like this is my ex of eight years ago like reincarnated in front of me and I can game her perfectly because I know this girl inside and out right I know exactly what this girl values exactly what this girl wants to be complimented on exactly where her what buttons I can push with her and it makes it very very very easy to game her right that's that's an extreme example but in the more experience you have with girls and also the more you're just attuned and paying attention to girls you can figure out what it is that they'll do and the way that you game a party girl who wants value value value is very very different than the way you game a girl from a small town who you know it has lived with the same friends or whole life and basically never gone out and doesn't drink right it's a very very different set of values and yes this generally attractive qualities will work to an extent with both but if you can hone in on their exact value system you're gonna be much much much better okay so I won't go too far in that but that's a generally good idea okay mmm nacho so here listen the girl and solve her problem here's the girl's problem here's the fundamental girl problem do girls like sex yes is it [ __ ] for girls to have sex yes that's the fundamental problem okay that's someone mental problem you have to help her solve and that's actually how you I'm glad you mentioned that aim look that closely at this slide I'm glad you mentioned that because that is you're out looking game you're out looking game is that they want to sleep with you they need you to help them solve their problem okay same thing as like if you were in sales the same thing they want to buy from you they're talking to because they're interested they want you to help you help them solve their problem so make sense so that's the fundamental idea you help them get out of their own way all right so I'll give you an example a girl that I pulled a little while back I took her from the club we went to like a liquor store and bought but alcohol and then went to the rooftop to go have a drink up there and then I made an excuse to go to the apartment and as we're going she's like we're gonna be like oh yeah we're gonna go down here and just grab glasses but we'll go right back up and then she's like the extra pit stop isn't really necessary right meaning like you already like I get it it's fine right that's what you want to get is to the point where they they are so down with it they're so okay with it that even they even if they know it's a euphemism there's like look I don't need that I don't need the extra comfort let's just do this all right so understand most of the time they're going with you not because you convinced and prod and persuaded them they're going with you because they like you the excuses and euphemisms are just to help them get out of their own way okay a question okay fair enough good enough good enough yeah I had the situation that's basically like baby if I try to tell the girl that oh we can go chill at this place we're trying to be indirect I call it out on it so most of the time for me it's just like being up front and just saying that hey we can go get drinks at my place okay fair enough I mean if that's actually work better for you I think you do even better if you describe the the experience at your place or describe the just the like getting to know better or something and be a little sad like is in I know one more place we can get drinks or it's like a little like quiet or more private and that pretty much says it right or the one that always says sometimes it's like maybe I'll I'll throw out some like say maybe they're asking some interesting questions about my life or my lifestyle or something I do I'm like I love to show actually instead of telling you that how about like when we get to know each other little better off maybe I'll show you and then later on I'm like hey you know actually I'm liking you like I kind of want to show you this thing now I don't know should I okay fine why not right do you see how that like it's just a little more subtle all right but it still gets to the same thing like where else are you gonna you're gonna show them things about your life other than your place right but it's just a little subtler yeah yeah like three questions I'll hop down yeah if you were to guess the answer your own question what would you guess which starts giving you some kind of okay okay I would say as early as humanly possible but in tiny ways remember the invisible escalation concept so from the exact first moments you'd like to start doing that but you start doing it in really really really small ways all right so it's not hey let's go to this crazy other place it's just turning your body a little bit so they turn away from their friends like the most subtle little logistical move as