let's write a Band 8.5 essay step by step and
I'll show you how you can use your English skills in a smart way to easily meet each IELTS
Writing Task 2 requirement and get a higher score it's Asiya here let's get started [Music] here is
the task today many people work until a later age do the advantages of this outweigh the
disadvantages give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience write at least 250 words you know there is a dangerous belief I hear around
that to get a higher score in IELTS Writing you need to make your essay more complex use big words
and sophisticated grammar in reality the way to a higher score for most is to simplify their writing
to deliver exactly what the examiners look for and the first thing they look for is this answer
the question I know what a revelation but that's where a lot of marks are lost here is how their
official Pand descript is put it the main parts of the prompt are appropriately addressed let's
have a look at the task what parts do you need to address what do you think in this task there
are three although sometimes we have two you need to explore the advantages the disadvantages and
give your opinion what is greater the advantages or the disadvantages and you know it doesn't
matter what you think you must always cover these three parts and that's where mistakes
cripping someone who thinks the advantages of far greater may fail to cover the disadvantages or
just write a couple of lines about them and a long paragraph about the advantages either would be a
costly mistake another one is not saying clearly enough what you think you won't believe how many
essays don't answer the main question in one simple sentence and instead the opinion needs to
be deciphered make your opinion simple and clear the three parts we need to cover lead us to a
very simple essay structure an introduction where you express your opinion one paragraph where you
present the advantages one about the disadvantages and a conclusion where you restate your opinion
again you've probably seen this structure before and it works every time in iat's writing there
is no need to be original or to write a smart sophisticated essay simple and boring works best
because this is not a test of your knowledge on any particular subject so choose simple ideas you
can easily explain our structure can help with the following requirement information and ideas
are logically organized and there is a clear progression throughout the response if you have
a par with the advantages and a paragraph with the disadvantages this is a logical organization
what about a clear progression it means you should move from one idea to the next without repeating
yourself or jumping from one idea to another so planning what ideas you're going to include before
writing anything is a must here are my ideas for this essing the advantages it's good for them
individually economically and psychologically they pass on experience and knowledge and it helps
societies with labor shortages when there are not enough qualified workers the disadvantages can
the world keep up with the change and Innovation they have less energy and enthusiasm and they
may prevent development of younger workers I have three advantages and three disadvantages a
good number notice that ideas are quite simple I'm not mentioning retirement plans pensions
or comparing different societies which would make the ESS too complex what about our opinion
looking at these which are stronger remember there are no rights or wrongs all we need is to
make a choice and defend our decision I'd say the vantages are greater having a clear opinion is
very important look at this requirement b seven a clear and developed position is presented and
to get to a b nine this position should directly answer the question so let's not beat around the
bush and make our position our opinion clear right in the introduction all the former examiners I
work with agree that this is the safest and most straightforward approach to get in a high band
let's see how this introduction looks first of all we need to summarize the question without
simply repeating the same words in many parts of the world people are still working after
retirement age it opens with a very general statement which rephrases the task question
it accepts it it as true now closer to the question some argue that continuing to work and
therefore not being a financial burden on family members or Society is good While others believe
it would be better for the elderly to enjoy their golden years and Make Way for younger workers
the second sentence is long and describes both sides of the argument with some argue that and
others believe I've already touched on some of the ideas I'm going to write about in the essay
you don't have to do that you can just paraphrase the question now the opinion in my opinion there
are more advantages than disadvantages to working into old age this sentence recognizes that there
are reasons in favor and against but takes aside it's very clear and also expressed very simply
three sentences are all you need to start because the main paragraphs are your body paragraphs
and there is one requirement most of my course students struggle with when they join ideas are
relevant fully extended and well supported it's actually quite difficult to do so for band
seven it's acceptable if there is a tendency to overgeneralize or there may be a lack of focus
and Precision in supporting ideas and material a Ben seven essay is not perfect but let me show you
how to develop your ideas something you absolutely must do and also what vocabulary to use for a
high score the first body paragraph outlines the advantages pay attention to this sentence longer
working lives bring benefits for both individuals and wider Society you see how General it is it's
here to tell us what this whole paragraph is about it's called a topic sentence now let's present
the three main ideas in the logical sequence with this strongest Point coming first for the
workers themselves the most obvious benefit is that they stay physically and mentally active
while at the same time earning money that makes them financially stable or at least much less
of a burden on their family or the government pay attention to the highlighted phrases they help
us link sentences and organize our ideas besides that to present another idea the knowledge
skills and experience they have accumulated can be shared with younger colleagues a third
point in favor concerns countries with fing birth rates leading to potential labor shortages
in Japan for example a sizable proportion of the workforce is aged over 65 if this age group is
employed productivity levels can be maintained the paragraph presents a clear position in favor of
the advantages we can see a clear progression from one idea to the next and a logical organization of
ideas and information and the phrases in board are our linkers more formally called cohesive devices
that help create this Clarity and logical sequence the examiners do check if you use them look
at this requirement b seven for coherence and cohesion you should use a range of cohes devices
but what about the vocabulary I mentioned earlier that we need to paraphrase words used in the
question also throughout the essay we should show flexibility using synonyms for example and
precision using the right words or Expressions to express what we want to say for band seven the
task descriptors also mention the use of less common lexical items well looking back at what
we have so far in the introduction in the first body paragraph We have several ways to refer to
these people who work to a later age for example work after retirement the elderly longer working
lives their golden years old age Workforce aged over 65 this age group of course words don't
exist all by themselves when we're right or speak we find them in combinations with other
words and these common combinations are called cations let's look at some of the interesting
cations and expressions used physically and mentally active financially independent less of
a burden on something or somebody a burden is something that becomes a heavier responsibility
for others knowledge skills and experience can be shared or to share knowledge and experience
labor shortages a shortage of something means that there are not enough of it to maintain
productivity levels a high vocabulary score is not just about learning 10 or 50 big words
it's about using topic specific words you know to express your thoughts now this paragraph was about
the side with think is greater the advantages how can you write about the disadvantages and make it
clear that they are smaller that's a tricky part let's have a look among the drawbacks this opening
phrase immediately tells us what this paragraph is about so let's present the F disadvantage
among the drawbacks older workers diminishing enthusiasm is often View rily by employers and
the second to that we could add their potential lack of ability to successfully keep up with
the pace of technological change but I think these disadvantages are not that important so
I want to push against them however it could be argued that sharing different skill sets with
younger workers might negate this disadvantage this is a counterargument an argument that makes
the other point of view weaker now the third idea there is also the danger that an order Workforce
will hinder the development of young Talent if they're not allowed sufficient work opportunities
and again a counterargument nevertheless any organization with a view of the future should be
able to prevent that from happening you see I'm presenting the disadvantages but I'm immediately
telling the reader the examine what I think about them and this is what makes your opinion clear
throughout thec and the linkers however and nevertheless help us present this contrast I know
it's not easy and in my coures we study in detail how to develop ideas in body paragraphs make count
arguments express your opinion and how to answer each type of task these courses can help you get a
higher score and save a lot of time they Linked In the description box below coming back to our essay
we just need to write a conclusion and it's very important not to forget one key thing in it but
first let me show you how to impress The Examiner with your grammar our ability to write complex
sentences is important a b s essay will have a variety of complex structures and most sentences
will be error free you know sometimes the danger is to think that all the sentences should be long
and complex but in reality what we should aim for is a good mix there is nothing wrong in using
a shorter simple sentence in the right place the second body paragraph is quite complex and
there are three examples of this complexity you may not even recognize let me show you
first of all the passive voice enthusiasm is often viewed it could be argued these are
complex structures number two modor verbs here we express possibilities through could and
might and make recommendations with should number three conditionals an older Workforce will
hinder the development of young Talent if they're not allowed sufficient work opportunities please
note the verb tenses we have the future tense will hinder in the main clause and the present simple
passive are not allowed in the dependent clause or the part of the sentence with if examiners
will definitely notice if you get it right or not now on to our conclusion and the one key
thing it must contain your conclusion doesn't have to be very long here just two sentences the
first sentence goes over the main topic people are living longer and increasing numbers remain
employed well beyond retirement age the second mentions again the point point of view although
there are downsides to this trend I believe that they are outweighted by the advantages to both the
individual and Society in this essay I presented the main arguments in the introduction otherwise
I do it in the conclusion and you should always restate your opinion in your conclusion this
is the one key thing you absolutely must do every time how long is this essing you can find
out by downloading it as PDF no of course I'm going to tell you it's 303 words long but
the PDF and my writing and speaking courses are indeed Linked In the description below
if you're feeling that the writing part is difficult for you learning how to write each
part each paragraph can really help and in this super in depth lesson you you can learn
how to write the perfect task to introduction thank you so much for watching me today good
luck with your preparation and your exam bye