Get ready everyone the roast is about to begin Please welcome the host of the evening Aashish Solanki Welcome to the Wild Wild Roast Yes Today we are celebrating the movie Wild Wild Punjab And it is a very nice movie I get paid for saying that For the first time, I am making money out of a roast. Love it! This is a lot of fun, isn't it? Someone asked me who all are there in the movie And I said, Almost everyone There's a possibility that even you are in it I was asked who is starring in this I replied, do you remember that character? They said yes I said do you remember the one with him? He is there. Yes, can we welcome the panel Make some noise and welcome Mr. Varun Sharma Ishita Raj Manjot Singh And Sunny Singh Please take a seat Sit sit Wherever you were asked to sit, please be seated This dance bit wasn't discussed! This is what we call an entry! We movie stars are habituated Ohh I hope we never get this habit. This is the cast of Wild Wild Punjab And now let's call someone wild from Punjab Please start clapping and welcome Gurleen Pannu Let's give a round of applause Welcome to the Wild Wild Roast and Mild mild careers I had a dream once To meet big movie stars And now I feel good after meeting them As they also share the same dream. People say, crowds don't have faces. We have 4 here. Lets begin with an introduction Ishita Raj She won an award for the 'Most Promising Face' in 2022 She never washed her face after that. Lets just keep things as they are Manjot, a big round of applause for him You might know Manjot! From Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye! He was the Oye Sunny can you show us your biceps once? They are too good! When Sunny was born, the nurse said, 'Congratulations, a bicep is born.' And Gurleen Pannu I've known her for a while now, Back then she hadn't even started to copy Bassi yet And Varun Sharma Enough! This is what we say about your career! Every time someone says 'It's a wrap' Varun asks where? I want it You have studied from Sanawar right? Which is one of the finest boarding school That tells us that, education doesn't do much You're from Jalandhar,
Yes, brother!
right? Sports city They used to have this sport there, who finishes a burger first Please welcome the first panelist, Varun Sharma Aashish was once asked in an interview what do you like Are you like a mountain person or a beach person He answered mountain person Because on the beach, I will encounter Sharks To this date, whenever Aashish goes to pee he makes a shhh noise Lets talk about Manjot next Manjot thinks the meaning of ‘on the rocks’ is trekking Whenever Manjot sees a shooting star He asks why Dadaji is running so swiftly. Now onto Ishita next Ishita has pursued Masters in Business Management So, Sunny asked what she was taught in Business Management She replied- Mind your own business! Jokes on Ishita are over now! Moving onto Sunny Sunny's movie ‘Jai Mummy Di’ was released in 2020 The Pandemic began soon after Sunny thinks eating protein powder builds muscle memory Let's talk about Gurleen now Gurleen talks so much She kept on talking backstage too And finally Manjot said Gurleen, I'm from Kerala And she believed. If Gurleen had been casted in Laapataa Ladies No one would've gone to find her No one. That song itself would’ve changed completely. Oh sajni re! My day and night passed greatly Since we didn’t talk Oh sajni re! Gurleen’s family members are professional shooters I have a request for them At least for once, hit the right target Thank you so much guys, Aashish over to you Wow! Guys, Varun was telling me Let me wipe off my sweat, otherwise it will shine on YouTube Brother, there was only one way Anyways. Now Manjot Manjot did the movie Udaan, you might have seen In that he got expelled from school, cause he was showing a dirty movie ***** 2 Manjot doesn't get laid, he gets “Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!” (This was good) But Manjot is a very down to earth guy The amount of money you pay to watch it on Netflix, They agreed to join us for the same amount. With applause, please welcome Manjot Singh So, Sunny, my brother You know, brother is a bodybuilder, goes to gym So people tell Sunny, you go to gym, you should try deadlift Then brother asks them What time does the crematorium open? You all know that Sunny comes from a wrestler family. When the slippers are put the wrong side in their house So they don’t turn it the other way, They actually fight. Here the first page ends Now Ishita Raj Sharma Do you know that Ishita's manager has blocked her? ‘Why?’ Oh sorry I was joking She doesn’t have a manager Hello Gurleen ji, how are you? You're looking gorgeous. It’s okay guys, we can praise her a little We shall find some happiness in life at least Gurleen's aunt and mother themselves crib about Gurleen So I asked Gurleen about the secret behind her skin care routine? Because on such skin Only Harpic can be used Aw my golu, my cutu You know, If Varun gets the role of a Don Then under a black coat, Brother would actually show up wearing shorts And he’ll say, “Bhai, campa?” Solanki ji So we were all getting ready backstage So everyone was taking time, then Brother asks the hairstylist To do a massage of his hair wax I mean, really? At least the hair will get hard “Oh, is it” Thank you guys, it was really fun This was my first And I wish it to be the last, I don’t really have it Alright, so enjoy your day, thank you mwah Next panelist Ishita You need to remain seated, remain seated, sorry cut No no, Ishita’s.. You would have seen her in lots of movies..remember? No? Exactly! Just like Justin Bieber's fans are called Beliebers Her fans are called mummy and papa She’s very innocent dude, very innocent On her OnlyFans she does saree draping tutorials Ishita bought a car The stepney came with it, she said I’m a celeb So they gave me a free tyre Please welcome Ishita Raj Woah By the way, Aashish no matter how our films are After release, At least they’re not deleted Like most of your jokes Anyway, I am a feminist And I think feminism should reach every home But after seeing Gurleen I feel it can skip a few homes Let's go over to Manjot You want to do something? So Manjot is so stereotyped That in his biopic, his own role Will be played by him Speaking of which, it’s hard to replace him Aww, love you Love you too bro I said ‘love you!’ And Manjot is so innocent, that when he buys a condom Then he goes and says, Brother, could you open this and check it for me? Now let’s come to our very own Varun Sharma guys give it up Ok Varun has - for the past 10 years - been getting roles of the same age And it's not because of screen age It's because his characters all Have the same mental age, till today. Varun is such a Punjabi and he is such a party animal He even had Digene on the rocks. Now on Sunny, Give it up for Sunny Sunny is so hot that Sometimes his expressions evaporate! Thank you guys, thank you so much love you bye Now let’s go - Sunny Singh! Sunny is always in a movie with a lot of people If there’s a movie with one lone guy in the Antarctica, Then he’ll say “Bro can I be an iceberg?” “I’d love to be one!” And since he comes from a wrestler family dude, a wrestler family! He thinks that pride month means You have to be stylish. Please welcome Sunny Singh How is everything, guys? Everyone’s looking good, we’re having fun This is for Aashish He’s so decent, so sweet He refers to ‘meeting a girl’s parents’ As ‘foreplay’ Aashish calls himself a good boy Not a good man Because if he was a man, Then he wouldn’t delete the video, right? You saw the Shark legal notice right? You ‘liquidated’ in your pants no? Hi Ishita, hi Titu If someone says to you - Be yourself He’s giving you the wrong advice Because there’s ‘shit’ in her name. Hi Gurleen For you, I’ve got your biggest fan’s photo right here And this is for Manjot Manjot is so sweet and so innocent, He gives dogs some pickle with their roti. Manjot Calls the fridge a ‘cupboard for beer’ Guys that’s all Can’t manage more than this anyway, thank you so much We are down to the last act Yes The planned city’s unique unplanned product, Gurleen Pannu Yes, don’t you look at her and think that she only got one dose of polio drops? Right? She looks like the Vodafone zoo-zoo Bassi became famous due to cheating She got famous through Bassi’s cheating Whenever she has to perform with Bassi Then she says “Oh today it’s an open-book exam” Please welcome Gurleen Pannu So much roasting that it smells Of shit (That’s what I said) Varun sir made a Harpic joke about me That I use Harpic for skincare I’ve been meeting you for two days Sir, so I have to do it. Sunny paaji says “Harpic kills 99 percent of bacteria” “I can easily kill 100%!” But anyway, let’s begin with Aashish the roast master No no he’s a good guy Aashish doesn’t cheat on his wife He thinks external invigilators will come If you ask him what to do when you see a shark He says just blur it quickly Do you look at Aashish’s hairline and ever think Some bald guy’s wig is slipping? First of all he calls me crying saying that please come, nobody’s coming You can watch Aashish’s comedy with your whole family ke saath Right? Very family friendly One family watched it - the Burari family Sir you were saying, no let’s let it be, we won’t go there Look at that, he’s explaining, saying that they died Even in a live show he’s lagging Oh stay with me, we’re not going on Netflix This is live, you can’t double tap and go back 10 seconds Alright? When you look at Varun don’t you feel like He can still come in a Mamy Poko pants ad? Varun paaji is a great soul, His soul also wears a diaper I told him at the party so he’s telling me I got my peg, but now where’s my nipple? Whenever Varun’s mom introduces him to someone, She says, he fell on his head when he was a child Don’t mind too much Anyway he doesn’t have one No no sir Moving on to Varun paaji Are you guys good friends? Yeah yeah, very very, more than 10 years, 12, 13 That is why we had to mention in todays roast He was asking Do I have to be a lead? Can I not be a supporting actor? One day, one day Manjot paaji was born because Nobody saw Manmohan Singh’s Youth The most challenging day on set for him was When his p*nis got stuck in his pant zip Ishita, Sunny and Manjot party together a lot They have to, nobody else is calling them They say they’ll do ‘contribute’ Manjot paaji Credit what comes in, debit what goes out Ishita ma'am, this is what people with bank accounts say Coming to Ishita ma'am Ishita ma'am, give it up for Ishita Raj She puts the ish In gibberish Isita ma'am’s fans Take her autograph on the last page Then they say can you return it? We were just checking the pen Ishita ma'am think Ola mini is for short people But she is also very self obsessed Because she poses for the CCTV camera Saying that the paps have come Sunny bhai pe aate hain, Sunny bhai please mujhe marna mat Let’s come to Sunny the wrestler, Sunny don’t hit me, Sir please Give me a ladies advantage If you ask Sunny how he likes heavy metal, He says “up to 60 kilos is fine” “After that you need two supporters” Sunny’s schedule is so hectic But even then Not a wrinkle on his forehead, and Not a single expression on his face Thank you guys that has been my time please welcome your roastmaster That is the end of the show, make some noise for everyone You guys are such sport, amazing amazing guys And please watch Wild Wild Punjab on Netflix, streaming now Till then, bye bye