Lecture Notes

Main Topic: Triggers of Childhood PTSD and Abandonment

Key Points and Main Ideas

• Major Trigger: Many people with childhood PTSD identify abandonment as their most significant and difficult trigger.

  • Abandonment can cause intense dysregulation of the nervous system and emotional state.
  • Dysfunctional reactions can make it hard to discern between imagined and real instances of abandonment.
  • Healing requires learning to re-regulate emotions and nervous system.

• Course Mentioned: Dysregulation Bootcamp

  • A 20-day course designed to help calm CPTSD triggers and improve emotional regulation.
  • Includes stories and practical advice on managing triggers.
  • Available along with a four-week coaching program starting October 8th.

Personal Story: Effects of Abandonment

• Speaker's Childhood: Experiences of being abandoned by mother led to intense abandonment issues.

  • Mother's unpredictable behavior caused lifelong dysregulation and fear of abandonment.
  • These issues affected adult relationships, work, and social interactions.

• **Dysregulation Effects: **Triggers lead to intense emotional and physiological reactions.

  • Example: Feeling injected with a toxic chemical when facing potential abandonment.
  • Triggers can make reactions seem unreasonable and disproportionate.

Practical Advice: Managing Triggers and Emotions

• Writing Technique: Writing fears and resentments daily can help manage and reduce triggers.

  • Example fears: fear of being alone, fear of not being liked.
  • Writing and meditating can calm emotions and clarify thinking.

• Awareness: Notice what recently triggered feelings of abandonment in adult life.

  • Reflect on what aspects of situations cause strong emotional reactions.
  • Use worksheets to explore and understand personal triggers.

Reader's Letter: Addressing Planning and Communication Triggers

• Common Trigger: Fear of plans being uncertain or changed without notice.

  • Stems from childhood experiences with unreliable parental figures.
  • Creates anxiety and fear of being disrespected or undervalued.

• **Advice Given: **Respecting one's own needs and setting boundaries.

  • Ask for clarification on plans without feeling guilty or demanding.
  • Recognize that expecting communication and reliability is reasonable.

Patterns and Reaction Styles

• Three Reaction Patterns: Cling, Control, Escape

  • Cling: Fear of abandonment leads to holding onto relationships at any cost.
  • Control: Attempt to manage others' actions to feel safe.
  • Escape: Desire to leave situations when overwhelmed.

• Understanding Reactions: Recognizing and addressing personal patterns can prevent self-defeating behaviors.

  • Example of escape: Avoiding self-care, procrastination, addictive behaviors.
  • Example of control: Black-and-white thinking, setting excessive boundaries, codependency.
  • Example of cling: Staying in bad relationships, pretending to be okay with non-reciprocal relationships.

Conclusion

• Healing Process: Requires building capacity to handle emotions and creating space between feelings and actions.
  • Daily practices like writing can help re-regulate and manage triggers.
  • Interpersonal relationships will involve some level of being triggered. Learning to manage these triggers is crucial for maintaining healthy connections.