I have to admit that I still have insecurities about a girl my husband lied about in the past last night my husband and I had a conversation that dredged up some old issues over the past 2 weeks I tried four times to spend time with him after our kids went to bed but he chose to play video games instead we also had a problem recently where he wasn't very nice to our 5-year-old which is why he didn't want to spend time with me last night I got upset and during our text conversation he asked me if I believed he ever cheated my answer brought up a girl from 5 years ago back then we were living in Indiana and had been together for 4 years he decided to go to college in Michigan which was 2 hours away from my family we moved he got a dorm and I stayed with him on weekends while living at my mom's during the week that September we found out I was pregnant with our now 5-year-old daughter in his dorm he had a double room meaning he and his roommate had their own rooms within a suite that connected to a shared bathroom with two other guys one of those guys had a female friend named Taylor my husband told me she didn't have any other friends and was lonely over a month I learned learned a lot about her her major where she was from her interests but when I finally met her I discovered she knew hardly anything about me and thought I got pregnant after he started school I found out Taylor had plenty of friends and went to parties every weekend to find guys to hook up with my issue wasn't with her behavior but with my husband trying to get close to her after admitting she was attractive I set a boundary no going to her room no her in his room and no eating together alone he lied about all of it they were in each other's rooms and went out to eat alone often before we moved to Michigan an old male friend from high school visited me at work and joined me for lunch my husband expressed discomfort so I declined my friend's offer to have lunch again yet my husband kept lying about Taylor I even found a pair of girls underwear in his dorm room which he claimed were mine given the shared laundry situation it seemed plausible but still he lied about their interactions and her social life last night when he asked if I thought he ever cheated I said I didn't know I explained all this and he got mad saying I was bringing up old issues he wanted a simple yes or no answer he kept deflecting making comments like do you want to just go ahead and accuse me of lying and sleeping with Taylor and I'm nothing but faithful to you at the beginning of our relationship 6 months in he was messaging a girl named Alex emotionally cheating on me by telling her he wished he could be with her 2 days later I ended up making out with a friend's girlfriend while drunk which he didn't find out about until 3 years ago I've apologized several times and take steps to ease his anxiety but he never apologized for Taylor and doesn't comfort me when I'm anxious or jealous instead he gets mad and accuses me of not trusting him I told him he was the one who asked if I ever thought he cheated and I answered honestly I can't fully move on from something he refuses to give me closure on despite his growth since the college situation helping more around the house reacting better to my emotional days and sometimes being very sweet last night was a setback it brought all the pain back