Lecture on Personal Journey with Bipolar Disorder

Introduction to Personal Experience

• First tattoo shortly before 30th birthday
• Described experience as intense, cathartic, transformative
• Everything seemed perfect and magical

Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder

• Referred to psychiatrist, diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder
• Symptoms aligned with DSM criteria
  • Talking a lot, sleeping little, feeling powerful, etc.
• Initial disbelief followed by acceptance
• Intriguing yet terrifying concept of being a 'crazy artist'

Manic Episode

• Experienced a 5-month manic episode
• Intense social interactions and self-expression
• Exhaustion followed by depression

Struggle with Depression

• Depression described as a deep, muddy hole
• Initial resistance to medication (lithium)
• Medications caused side effects: memory issues, weight gain
• Struggle to differentiate between depression and medication side effects

Coping and Creativity

• Writing and drawing were outlets during depression
• Inspired by memoirs of Kay Jamison and William Styron
• Used creativity to visualize and manage internal struggles

Stabilization and Medication Management

• Relied on various medications to stabilize
• Described feeling like a "pinball" due to mood swings
• Stabilized 4 years after diagnosis, remained stable for 17 years

Public Disclosure and Advocacy

• Initially private about bipolar disorder
• Wrote a graphic memoir to share her experience
• Found solidarity and shared struggles with others

Self-Care System: SMED Mertz

• Developed a personal system for maintaining stability
  • Sleep: Priority number one
  • Meds: Important for those who need them
  • Eat: Diet affects mental health
  • Doctor: Regular therapy or doctor visits
  • Mindfulness and Meditation
  • Exercise: Physical health impacts mental health
  • Routine: Provides stability
  • Tools: Coping mechanisms
  • Support system: Essential for help and stability
• Emphasizes integration of these components like spokes on a wheel

Conclusion

• Stability is about balance, not unchanging life
• Tattoo symbolizes a monumental life turning point
• Stable life feels authentic and true to self