you know what i wanted to ask you and i'm not letting you leave here without asking you mention tired if i put a quaalude in front of you right i take it right now in an absolute heartbeat well i would because i haven't eaten in four hours if i eat and i go bomb at first and give myself an enema and then come back and take that they're that [ __ ] yeah yeah and i'm sober for like 20 something years i would still take one and what they portrayed in the movie is exactly what kind of takes over jonah hill did a really good job on that scene like you know the uh the queen [Music] that was what it was like i coached them through that by the way and why can't they get them anymore they're well thank god they're illegal i mean i'm happy they're not around they're that good they are that good there's nothing like they were great they really they gave you this euphoric feeling with no hangover the next day so you wake up and you were just ready to rock and roll yeah but you couldn't take a quaalude and then go work in the office right no you had to be done for the day but you could take the no you could take a quaalude so in the throes of my addiction i i would like to get high at least four times a day so i would wake up at like five a.m before my wife take four quaaludes i'd go up and down yeah but then i'd be high as a kite between five and seven then she'd wake up then i'd be sober again so they don't like when they wear off you're normal again it's like alcohol you got sloppy and tired once it's over it's over but there was [ __ ] in the middle to where start with the clay loot re-energize with cocaine exactly so you were really just like a pedro i was balancing like a petri dish and i was like a human 20 drugs you know trying to find the perfect mixture so i get to a state of toxic poise where i was like just high as a kite but only i knew it and your wife kind of just rolled with it she wrote with it because she you know she dabbled she did drugs too she dabbled all right um not nearly as much as me but i think she became desensitized to after a while of how intense my addiction had become um and she also did help me get sober like she actually was the one that um so you credit a lot of that to her absolutely that that my initial getting sober i absolutely give her a big part that she you know she said no more like i won't take it i'll leave unless you get sober and at that point that was like i didn't want to split my family but i still loved her so yes she was definitely instrumental in fueling my addiction and then getting me sober at the same time i blame her for i don't blame her for my addiction and my addiction was on me but she certainly was like a great running partner for many years but she never did she never abused it the way i did it she did drugs casually i did them severely and um and then when it got really really bad she did finally help me