we might be stuck in a pattern of civilizational collapse and it's because our relationships are not as strong as they used to be this video is a long overdue answer to the question why is promiscuity bad the answer is kind of complicated let's start with this why would promiscuous Behavior as pictured here cause a collapse of civilization I put together this map it's originally created by Ken Wilbur this is just my easyto read version as a quick reference for developmental psychology how people's minds develop individually from birth until wherever you stop and how that affects the development of society and culture and over here there's this little grid that shows the individual mind and culture and individual behavior and Society the way that people's minds work is going to form a culture the way that culture works is going to shape Society the way that Society works is going to influence your mind and the way your mind works will influence your behavior all these things are interrelated so society which we depend on for everything we have is based on the way that we relate to each other which is falling apart very quickly do in large part to acceptance of promiscuous Behavior there's a bunch of little heartbreaks and lower relationship strength our relationships also suffer cuz we don't understand each other and that's something you can fix and today's sponsor ground news can help you are on the internet right now so you're confused we all are algorithms make us feel bad blame it on other people and then attack them like idiots this is not making us smarter we need perspective that's why ground news has an app and a website that shows you where your news is coming from ground news gives you different takes on the news all in one place and it helps you spot potential bias look at this story about trans students in red States there's a bias comparison ground news shows you who's reporting on it and they even have a nice little picture now you can see all in one place that left leaning Outlets say that red states are challenging inclusivity while right leaning out lets say that they're protecting women and girls they even have a blind spot feed with stories that are all right or all left so you can break out of your bubble if you want to be a freeth thinker with less effort click this link in the comments or scan the QR code you'll get 40% off the Vantage plan which I use for unlimited access to every feature that's ground. news/ hm for 40% off the Vantage plan click it in the comments if we remain unable to understand each other we tend to do what we want instead of thinking about what's right basically when people are allowed to do whatever they want it degrades us from this stable model of courtship and relationship formation to this unstable one in the old one we could have stable marriages that were enforced by social conventions and in the new one there's a few guys who get all the attention that they can handle and so they don't commit to women and therefore most of the women get played and dumped over and over and these guys get no attention and that is makes everyone unhappy and it also is really bad for stable marriages that produce children and this model is only possible when people believe I can do whatever I want and you can't judge me if you allow people to behave like this then they stop building this and it turns into this modern people believe that the world is made of individuals it is actually made of relationships in the same way that a pile of bricks is not a building in order for the building to work the bricks have to be arranged in a certain way they have to be connected and once the bricks start saying I don't want to be part of a building anymore I want to do me then the building starts decaying and then the other bricks say well if you're not doing your job then I won't do my job and we go from a building to a pile a big part of this Decay is the sexual Revolution which is actually just a Decay it's reverse development we are going from higher levels down to lower ones I've been over this in previous videos this one's called Saturday scaries basically all cultures have to grow through these levels you can't skip stages and when a culture develops from this low impulsive stage to the rules and roles stage they come up with strict social norms and they eventually grow to the achiever stage which is like corporate keeping up with the Joneses and eventually into this sensitive individualistic hippie stage where people start saying hey man everyone's like unique and we should all do what we want bro and at that stage they have a tendency to get rid of the rules at this stage and then all of the new people who are born cuz everyone's born at stage one they don't have any rules to learn to grow up to the next stages and it causes developmental arrest and people get stuck down here that's what we're experiencing right now so this is not moving beyond the rules it's just getting rid of them way back at the beginning of my channel somebody asked me why is promiscuity bad I didn't even have colored pencils yet there's the old version of the drawing I think she thought she got me I don't think she expected this as an answer so this perception has become really common and ironically it's coming from a really high level of development what they're saying is that we should all be allowed to do what we truly want and be who we are and society's rules are just holding us back from our true selves and that might be true if both you and your partner or partner are at this level but that's really really rare So if you are a young person growing up and you hear that message that Society is just holding us back from what we really want you're not going to hear it at this level because you are not there yet you're going to hear that message at the level that you are on and it's going to sound like everyone else is trying to get their own way and so I'm going to get mine and the more that that gets reinforced the more you stay stuck unable to learn the belonging and cooperation skills that are necessary to keep moving up the lad in other words if you want people to develop to these higher stages which we do they have to learn the rules before they can break them like if you want to do bike tricks you have to start with the basics you want to be a jazz musician start with hot cross buns so again this message it's saying why bother learning the rules before breaking them and it's leaving a lot of people stuck and then those stuck people will not be able to keep civilization functioning we have known this for a long time back in the 12th century some guy named salahudin iubi Liberator of Jerusalem that's probably debatable but he sounds important he said if you want to destroy Any Nation without War make adultery or nudity common in the Young Generation sound famili amiliar this is from a website called Muslim skeptic and they need your support apparently relying on Allah La is not working out the Muslim world is very much concentrated at this level right now the rules and roles level the control of self and others through faith and discipline level the fundamentalism level and that's because they experienced their own collapse a few centuries ago I just spoke to Rudyard Lynch of what if fault his about this check out his channel and he explain to me that history does not work like this it's not oh feminism was invented yesterday and now everyone's going to be happy forever there really are a lot of fluctuations between feminine and masculine control of society and if you get too far in either direction things get bad and the Islamic World went too far in this direction and had an overcorrection and now they are still hanging out up here some of this even happened recently this was Iran in the '70s and so was this they look like they're from Wisconsin that was before the Iranian Revolution and let's not forget Afghanistan then and now so this lie that the more feminist things get the happier everyone's going to be it just is not real life in reality hyper feminization causes its own problems and the reaction might not be fun what are these problems caused by glorious feminist Freedom well as women become liberated from men which means getting materials that men produce without having to marry them women experience a greater ability to choose and they no longer have to settle for someone who is exactly on her level women become more free to pursue somebody who might have a full dance card and might not be interested in anything long term this matches the results we get from dating apps women seem not to be very interested in most men at least not until women get to know those men this more Equitable style of pairing off is what happens in tight-knit communities but those tight-knit communities come from living at this level where the mentality is to do what is right in order to get what is good in life nobody wants to do that anymore they'd rather do what they want people who live at this level look Amish to us now we are therefore no longer bound together it's every man for himself and when people do what they want that's level three here instead of doing what their Community wants for them doing what is right according to the rules and roles of your culture people no longer form or remain in these stable and Equitable relationships because there's no social or cultural pressure to do so it it takes a village they just go I'm not happy because everyone's going to be not happy at some point in a relationship and you need something to keep you together without that people just bail out into this mess where there's no social or cultural oversight and when that happens when nobody is keeping your relationship together then everybody tries to just do the best that they can and that's gives very lopsided results because men who are very high in demand will often sleep with women who are not very high in demand and it just doesn't work the other way around like Taylor Swift is not out here picking up guys who work at McDonald's so promiscuity is bad because it means do what I want and doing what you want means that nobody has any say over whether or not you stay in your marriage but you so as soon as it feels bad you're going to leave and you're going to jump into this disaster where you're going to go look for the best you can get and you're going to convince yourself that this guy almost married you even though he would never be seen with you in public and then you're going to get your heart broken so many times that you're just going to start hating men and you're going to go all men are the same all men even though you're only talking about these men and these men down here are so completely detached from society and hopeless that they don't have any reason to contribute to Society at all and then everything falls apart because nobody is building so in terms of development these people who are a small percentage of the population but tend to be very powerful cuz they're smarter and richer they're saying we should be allow to do what we want as long as we don't hurt anyone and that message is heard by these people as we should be allowed to do what we want and they don't hear the second part and that leaves more and more people stuck down here unable to ever learn how to not make everything about themselves and that is a bad thing so it's not controversial to say that promiscuity is increasing what is controversial is how much and why it matters but all the bad things you would expect to see are there the birth rate is dismal people are getting married later than ever Rudyard told me that once that number reaches 28 it's bad news so we might be stuck the increase in single motherhood is not good for children we've known that for a long time and psychiatric medication rates are spiking amid ongoing uncertainty again I'm pretty certain that it is the breakdown of society when you switch from this to this all of these guys and pretty much all women become less happy and the only winners are just these guys up here who have all the options in the world which is kind of funny because over here you were the whole feminism thing was like men are winning let's switch to this now it's just less men winning so once again in short these people people at this level the sensitive individualist types they wanted to move beyond the rules and live their best lives and they were foolish enough to believe that everybody could do that which is false they can't so instead of working within the rules they just got rid of them and when you do that everything collapses so what is the solution well we have to get away from this model where people do what feels good in the moment and back to this model where people make decisions that are good for them and the long term and good for their communities but how are we going to do that if everybody is still stuck down here we don't have any structure anymore all of the messaging coming from from media and universities and culture it's all saying you are a special unique individual and nobody should be able to tell you what to do and so nobody is learning the basics of how to be a part of something that works it's me me me that's what's killing us now on the other hand China has actually increased its marriage rate for the first time in 9 years how did they manage that well the government has been campaigning to promote marriage what does that look like well I'm not sure but I know what it doesn't look like I have referred to this phenomenon of women going after guys who won't commit as being stuck on her highest setting it's also called being an alpha Widow it's when she remembers one guy forever who no one else can ever measure up to and she dreams of being with him even though he's not coming back cultivating that attitude is Central to this collapse so I'm going to finish my point with just a few examples of what this does to the minds of Western women yes even Grandma these are all just Tik toks that I collected over time they were all very popular this is what women are saying to each other here we go celebrity crush she says all that work and what did it get me because she pulled her celebrity crush and doesn't like regular people anymore so she pulled her celebrity crush but could not keep him because she's not at his level and now that is her new highest setting he's all she can think about and normal guys don't don't do it anymore for more information watch poll here's another she's singing got to whisper cuz I can't be too loud she says this even though she posted it to the internet she knows she's going to drunk call the guy she really wants at her bachelorette party I made this video a while back about a guy who proposed to a girl twice and she said no twice but she still wanted to be with him and he got frustrated and said what is she waiting for and the answer was probably another guy who she wanted to come back and replace this one even though he was never going to do that and she already knows this is her in 10 years at her bachelorette party here's a girl who has to say goodbye to her type cuz she wants to be treated like a princess so in order to get out of this area and into this area she knows she has to settle for less even though this guy is not her type here's another marriage one she's planning to leave a man at the altar if her old bu comes back this one's harsh something she's not ashamed of is she will always choose her ex situationship over anyone that thinks they have me that is brutal she would drive 2 hours to see him and can't commit to a good guy because of him you should be ashamed of that here's a girl skipping through the snow who's single but not really cuz she's loyal to the guy who won't text her back because he has better options same drawings over and over let's speed this up on my way to engagement party thinking of my ex running back to a man who hurt her before haa wee how could the known player have played me too I'm so shocked forcing herself to go out with a good guy while waiting for the toxic one almost all girls have that one guy that no matter what if he were to text her at any point she would be like yes let's be together like there's always that one guy I don't know it's either history or like he just is everything she wants and they're probably not together and they probably don't even chitchat but the minute that he texts her she's like yeah of course I would leave anyone for him I was talking to my therapist about my man who's not my man but is my man and she's like okay I don't know if I'm allowed to do this but can I see a picture of him and she pauses and goes okay I get it I see why we're in this situation he starts like cracking up and she's like he's really hot I'm like I know score we all have that one like situationship it was even someone we dated but it's like a situation shift that we now compare everyone else to and I mean that in a sense of like you had a situationship with someone like you bonded so well you never actually dated you guys never actually had a title or anything but like they changed how you view romantic partners and so now it's like you talk to someone new and it's like yeah but they're not blank they're not them they're not this they're not that and you don't even mean to do it but it's just like it naturally like you natur just think like damn like no one can compare right no one who wants you can compare to men who don't want you and in case you're hoping they grow out of it just read that and in case you're going to say not all women are like that I love my guesses and feelings may I refer you to the movie Titanic nothing on Earth could come between them except for temperature if you haven't seen Titanic here's a timeline it's about an old lady on her deathbed who had a long full life with kids grandkids marriage all the all the stuff and all that she can talk about is the one time that a homeless guy her on a boat box office smash do you see this blue line that's Titanic it beat Avatar It Beat Jurassic world I don't know why that's there but you see how these lines kind of die out and this one keeps going that's how much women love the guy who is never coming back they prefer him to the guy who proposed twice I have been the guy who's never coming back there are girls I could have called whenever I wanted I didn't want to and that is what they do not understand they think we almost got married no you didn't you were either forgettable or for now that's where this diagram comes from they all think that they almost got this guy and that's why they don't want to settle for someone exactly like them and that is what happens when you let people do what they they want instead of making them do what is right prioritizing your selfish lower urges what do I want causes social Decay it's as simple as that