Creating the Life You Want: Key Concepts and Practices

Introduction

• Old Cherokee Legend: Two wolves within each person - one is evil (anger, envy, hatred, etc.), the other is good (joy, peace, love, etc.). The one that wins is the one you feed.

• Course Recap: Previous episodes covered soothing the body, identifying unhelpful thinking, practicing willingness with emotions, and more. Check out the playlist if new.

The Big Picture of Creating Change

• Happiness and Control: The aim is to feel happy, control your destiny, and resolve painful emotions.
• Therapy Limitations: Unable to take new clients due to legal restrictions; recommends BetterHelp for therapy.
• Course Details: Video 24 in 30-part series "How to Process Your Emotions," available with additional resources and workbook.

Two Key Concepts of the Course

1. Gradual Choice-Based Happiness: Happiness is created through many small choices.

   • Tiny choices influence character, mood, quality of life.
   • Emotion processing and values-based actions lead to overall emotional changes.
   • Requires consistent effort and time.
   • Thich Nhat Hanh Quote: Avoid watering negative seeds; water positive seeds daily.
   • Change 1% every day for huge life transformation.

2. Power Through Emotion Processing: Gain power to choose responses by processing emotions.

   • Not reacting to emotions but responding to them mindfully.
   • Viktor Frankl's Insight: Between stimulus and response, there's a space. In that space lies the power to choose our response.
   • Expanding awareness and flexibility in problem-solving by slowing down emotion processing.

Examples and Stories

• Doctor’s Patient Story: Man in his 40s, discouraged about life. Through small changes (like switching to diet coke), started improving his life. Tiny changes led to better health and overall happiness over a year.
• Father-Daughter Story: Father struggling to set boundaries due to his own unprocessed emotions from childhood. Processing emotions helped him parent better. Daughter acting out because of unprocessed trauma.

Practical Applications

• Emotion Processing Tools: Learning how to slow down, breathe, and stretch the space between stimulus and response.
  • Dropping the struggle with emotions.
  • Mindful acceptance of emotions.
  • Calming the body and using a bottom-up approach to soothe the nervous system.
  • Resolving destructive thinking patterns.
  • Noticing and separating from thoughts.
  • Challenging and choosing which thoughts to act on.

Looking Forward

• Upcoming videos will cover:
  • Creating a life aligned with values.
  • Creating sustainable change.
  • Letting go of self-labels.
  • Developing a growth mindset.
  • Why trying to feel happy can backfire and alternative strategies.

Conclusion

• Call to Action: Subscribe for the next videos. Access the full course for more detailed guidance and resources.