I decided to be here I was given permission by your pastor to stand today as your guest minister let me introduce myself my name is Simon our common behest of your pastor because he felt like my story my testimony perhaps encouraged and strengthened someone who's here today perhaps you need to know my story and lift it in annals of Scripture out of the three Gospels you'll see my name specifically Brendan which is an anomaly because most people in scriptures go nameless what would allow me to have managed of verbiage that my name is lifted up in Scripture it's important to understand who I am and I got to give you some background so that we can get acquainted with one another site when i come from a North African colony town called Cyrene it's an important town is a port city dealt with a lot of trade and it's a place where a lot of hustle and bustle is taking place it was places a lot of people came in and out but not only was it known for its marketing but it also as a religious hatred I myself was part of the burgeoning Jewish community there in Cyrene you know it was virtually because it takes at least 12 males to have a synagogue we've had a pretty bustling religious life there it will god-fearing Gentiles but also there were some Jews as myself who are those strict adherence to the law of Moses you got understand for me I've always been one who streaked and followed with adherence to what God's Word had declared made sure i followed the Decalogue I tried my best to be the best shoe that I could possibly be and at the time that I would lifting in Scripture I'm finally at a very pivotal point of my own spiritual journey finally and scrounged up enough coins finally have an opportunity to travel all the way to Jerusalem to go to the Passover festival in the wonderful city and to adorn and to visit this wonderful Temple in Jerusalem for me a Jew this is a great moment for me I get to sacrifice he amongst other pilgrims who make their way into the sacred city of Jerusalem but it was a hard and tenuous journey was not easy some miles away from my home and it was different than a pilgrim during this time at the time I got to Jerusalem things were just bustling the city was really overrun capacity the normal city population of Jerusalem was around 50,000 but during the festival season it had burgeoned above to almost between a quarter and half a million people there I was determined to make sure I find my way to the temple when I got there I guess my reservations have been lost there was no room in Jerusalem I had to find myself some lodging in outskirts of the city of Jerusalem every day when I got there I got to surgery and travel through the city be a part of the culture map out some things one particular day I was ready and headed on to the Temple of Jerusalem I was going to have a sacrifice I had my money as I was gonna pay my money so that I could buy the coins and buy those things that I needed to make sure that I sacrifice and do what I'm supposed to do I'm there representing some who could not make the journey so this was an important trip for me but this is a strange thing that it was happening in Jerusalem word had spread throughout rules with all those pilgrims and people but there was this person who was claiming to be the Son of God where it had came through that he was doing miracles and I will admit to you even in my African colony town I had heard about this man they called him Jesus I heard how he could turn water into wine open up blinded eyes he was a miracle worker in my opinion did not know so much about this notion an idea of being the son of god the word has spread the night before that he had been captured somehow someone in his camp had betrayed him and turned him over for 30 pieces of silver so about time I woke that next morning was plastered all on the Jerusalem Gazette had a picture of Jesus and condemned was the headline wasn't thinking nothing of it condemning or crucifixion was part of the process of this area matter of fact it was really used at the deterrent for those who are traveling to this area they would normally condemn people outside the boundaries of the city to remind those who were traveling in the consequences of going against protocol and breaking laws it wouldn't be nothing that walked by and see birds perched upon the decaying corpses corpses of those that have been crucified and I could see this so I knew a crucifixion laws so the word was that that was a day that he alone with two others would be crucified on godless he'll so your IMA thinking nothing about it it had nothing to do with me my idea was simply to go to the temple do my sacrifice go about life as I'd already planned I had no other reason that things would be different on this fated day as I was making my way I happened to meander through what was called the vanilla Rosa this was a pretty public opening it was through the marketplace and I was making my way I had to pass through it in order to get to my destination as I got up there I noticed that there was a large commotion things were going crazy where I was headed and I could see out of the corner of my eye could see coming up in the distance what seemed to be a quadrant of Roman soldiers there were two in the front and I could see two in the back and one of the two of the front was carrying a sign and as he got closer I noticed that the sign read King of the Jews I press forward I was just trying to make my way through the crowd as I press forward I noticed that in between the quadrant of Roman soldiers there was a struggling man their blood was all over his body there was a crown of thorns that seemed to be affixed on his head and he was carrying this major cross beam on his shoulders I could tell him struggling to tell he had been through a horrific experience perhaps this was the person that they called this blasphemer the one that people are calling the Messiah perhaps this is Jesus our limit it was kind of hard to recognize him because he did not look like his picture you've been scourged punched in his face I could see the skin as it had been ripped from his back living to the point where it's cement to expose muscle tissue I could imagine this had to be horrific he had to be dehydrated because every step he was taken you can tell there was a late bird step I was amazed that he was still able to walk most folk did not survive the flogging but every step you could tell he was laboring having to lift this large cross thing as he was there the people in the crowd were not making things better I was amazed to see this man Jesus especially how the crowd was treating him because when I first showed up in town people were saying Hosanna Hosanna now they're saying crucify him crucify I can see him as he struggled tripping over his own Road people would wander out into the street kick him spit on him and mocking I've mentioned as I SAT there waiting for this funeral profession procession to pacify expecting it to go through so that I can go about my business I could see him slumped over one last time you've seen that lost his balance and there he was laying in the street bloody battered and beaten we had a crossbeam that seemed to be affixed to his body soldiers walked over to him I can see it has played his day kicking him telling him to move on but they notice he had no strength left at that time I'm thinking man this is a really an inconvenience for me I was hoping the funeral procession would just hurry up so I could go about my business and go about my life fewer attempts to try to get him up it was not moving I can imagine he had to be weak from the beating so now this Roman soldiers started to look and survey the crowd as I SAT there in his crowd I'm thinking to myself man what's the next move because they still had some distance to go before they reach Gaga tha's healed as I SAT there in this crowd Roman soldiers kept looking and I meant he sings and put his eyes affixed to me move my head I turned away briefly thinking it was just an aberration of my imagination but as soon as I look back he was looking at me I was looking at him people looking at me and I was looking at him I'm thinking to myself what is he looking at he pointed at me and he came to come to the crowd that was in the crowd saw that he was looking at me and they pushed me out his Roman soldier takes his spear out he puts his spear tip on my shoulder thus now giving me the assignment of carrying the cross of Jesus now Here I am they're taking this cross of Jesus and they place it on my shoulders and i'm trying to think to myself how did I get here how did I get to the place while I'm carrying the cross for somebody else and perhaps that's the pivotal part of my story that's why your pastor wanted me to come share today because he understood that some of us like me have had moments where you've been forced to carry someone else's cross it's not something you've asked for it's involuntary not something you chose but now you're the one that's happened to bear the burden of a cross and so perhaps the pastor wanted me to share because it was a pivotal time there I was given the assignment to carry the cross of Jesus never met her before first instance with him and now me out of everyone else is having to carry this cross perhaps he wanted me to share today because those like me if you're not careful we can get caught up in circumstances and situations like that that can allow bitterness to enter our heart it's got to be something to carry across you didn't ask for if we're not careful we can lie bitterness to invade the crevices of our heart based upon an unwarranted burden but I want to encourage somebody today that that's the tension that's where you have to learn how to not be bitter but learn how to be better have seen that maybe this cross bearing has some kingdom redemptive principles to I know I'm like he would that happened to me I wasn't thinking anything about the kingdom I would reflect some things about my experience because I believe that looking back in reflection that that cross bearing moment was the greatest thing that ever happened in my life I know that's weird to say that how can moments of pain travail persecution be a great moment in life but I learned that in that moment I figured out how much I can manage and handle if it wasn't for the opportunity to carry the cross I really wouldn't know how strong I really am maybe that's why I'm here today help somebody Plus perhaps before you go ahead and throw in the towel and suggest that you're not gonna do anything else with this cross may I tell you that you've been built for this may I submit that no matter how hard it may see how difficult it feels you can handle whatever you're going through let me see if I can make it apply to you i'm trying to make sure i'm giving you some lease personal contemporary application there's someone here but there you are you started out you thought everything was gonna be wonderful you thought the relationship was going to end in a great way you thought here we are started out one way ultimately now is led to divorce you carrying a cross you didn't ask you worked hard you worked out try to eat right only the field alone in a part of your body that alarm went to the doctor they gave the diagnosis and now you're carrying across you didn't ask for you thought you thought that you were going to raise your children in church and give them the best kind of training now they've gotten over they look like they don't love stay Everlast you look at their life I don't know who you are a way you come from is across what do you do when God forces across on you that you didn't ask that's what I'm here to share because as I reflect over that some things come to my mind perhaps I can help someone here that's going through this process going through this period going through the season of pain I want you to know that no matter how heavy in the cross is you can handle in this as I look back on i'll be honest with your first thing that I really recall the first thing I remember about that day as I realized something as I was carrying the cross behind Jesus is that there are no convenient times in the kingdom I want somebody know this because i know we we so playing I don't know how you are so plan in order them seem to have our lives in place we try to go through making sure we dot every I cross every T but listen as I look over my life I was trying to mind my own business I was headed to the tiller when I bumped into Jesus in that interesting and sometimes if you're not caring you can be headed to church and miss Jesus and many times we miss Jesus because he doesn't come packaged like we wanted to be back here it is the time and I thought it was an inconvenience but how many know God who just show up whenever God wants to see such great songs as you may not come when you want them but he's always on time but what is own time in God's time last time I checked his going time is never home time with me never seem to watch up never seems to match up it always seems to be an inconvenient moment Here I am just trying to do God's will and I'm now forced to carry this cross I know you wonder why did I choose to carry his cross right why didn't I please why did I get mad why did not argue with the Roman soldier we got understand the laws of that day Roman soldiers were giving them the order the authority that when they make decisions they you had to act them out so when this Roman soldier placed his spear on my shoulder I had no choice but to say yes I couldn't say no I didn't want to do it but I couldn't say no it was not in my plans but because i was under their authority I couldn't say no and maybe that's where you are you not under Roman Authority but you're under God's Authority and this time if you'll be really Frank and honest today and transparent you be one to say no but you can't say no there's sometimes you just got to say yes even though you know it's gonna cause some pain there's some situations some stuff you just had to say you know what I don't choose this but it shows me somebody can testify that sounds like highlight here i am having to carry this cross I didn't ask for and it I have no choice but to put it on my shoulders you got to catch by this significant because I could have took this a little bit better if this was a private struggle but he talks about compelled forced it means and I'm gonna have to take the place of Jesus in front of everybody else which means that my cross bearing is not a private delivered that everybody is going to see me strong I don't know how you feel that was embarrassing me cuz there sometimes I wish God would just let my calamity become the cover how come there's some seasons that God exposes your struggle for other people to look at I know that's not your issue but it was mine Here I am having to struggle with this cross and everybody saw me struggle they saw me in my pain saw me having to the Ender something I didn't ask for and I want somebody to know the reality of life in the kingdom is that there's never a convenient time but I want you to know it's no convenience in the kingdom and as I had this cross on my shoulder this cross beam man began to ponder even further in retrospect not only is it that is not some convenient moments in the kingdom but I learned this by carrying that cross you don't realize how strong you are until you have something heavy to carry see I understand we have this idea of the Cross has been some x as being something that was an ex like shape but crosses at that time were really more t-shaped then they would keep the poles a fix or cemented to the ground on the heels which people were crucified they had what was called cross beam Zepeda balance which you had to carry in order to go to the crucifixion these parabellum could weigh about a hundred pounds of peace for Jesus that was extreme he had been flawed whipped beaten and broken down a hundred pounds of him felt like a thousand and now because he could live them they choose me to carry this cross now y'all are meant to you in hindsight I struggle with this because I'm trying to figure out why did the Roman soldier choose me I was in a crowd I want a solo a spectator on the sideline there were other people there how come they chose me to carry this cross and as I'm carrying the cross I'm thinking to myself how come so and so don't have to carry this cross I know they need you I know I you just saved and ask those questions but that sometimes I really am confused cuz I'm thinking to myself how come you didn't give them what you gave me why am I the one that has to carry the cross other people in this group of the folk on the sideline this crowd is large why choose me out of everybody else finally had some time I was able to ask the officer the Roman soldier that chose me he asked him I said man why did you choose me to get this cross he said well sir I chose you because when I looked in the area you were the most well developed out of everybody else I am African by the way so perhaps he noticed my broad shoulders have seen notice the muscularity of my propa to maybe he saw how developed I was and based upon what he perceived he made the decision that I had the capacity to carry the cross he knew how heavy it was and he made the judgment call that based on what he perceived me to be that I would have the strength to handle the cross when nobody else could help nobody but that's just like God that many times while we're upset about why someone else didn't get what we got how somebody else don't have to struggle like we struggle maybe it's because God knows what you can help God knows how strong you really are and he knows if I gave this to anybody else they would drop it and quit it and roll over but if I give it to I know you might suck I know I might get hit but you're gonna still keep following Jesus y'all that's why you got to be careful trying to compare your walk with other people's wall and try to think that just because they don't have the same issues you had maybe I learned that sometimes God only trust his best assignment to the students he knows will stick in there through the hardest test maybe God said that it's actually a compliment that I chose you because I knew how much you could handle even when nobody else knew and I can't okay huh I'm somebody ought to say listen I've Richard Simon I feel you cuz man when I look over my life and the things I've been through lord knows I should have lost my I realize now I'm stronger than I've ever been I you know what I used to think it was bad I thought God was really trying to treat me upset until I started to think how come even though it's heavy I'm still moving how come even though it's harder I'm still moving how come on even though it's a struggle I'm still doing it because maybe God understands that the weight of the cross that I've already put enough in you that you can handle whatever I put on you and grandma said it this way he'll never put more on you up then you came back I've been ravaged best all day long and I noticed you know last time we had any kind of connection was in 2008 he preached me then brought me in for each form and uh I noticed that maybe I like notice which passed it I notice that he seemed to be get a little buff now I could been working out a little bit I don't know if y'all notice I noticed something I saw I said man your shoulders getting a little bigger pectorals or triceps biceps they seem to be getting limber well-developed I say man you look look different than you used to back in the day so you pastor told me that the reason that is now was teaching because he's now eating better and working out more I was intrigued i said when men helped me because I want to get to that level what how are you working I said well I've got a trailer that's what your past only goes to train whatever he's in town and he began to tell me the process that happened when he first got with his training so we went there he had his goals because he had reached a place of stagnation in his own work out if pastor said that he had been working out but he had been doing the same routine over and over again saying 30 minutes on the elliptical same amount of weight he's been lifted and if you don't know your body gets used to a routine so they keep doing the same thing over and over again you will never achieve your goals said he went to his trainer talk to him and they mapped out a plan when first thing they did was that he the guy the trainer Ash Apache said man how much can you bench press pass the total the number train said alright we're going to start at 250 it pass it hold on when I told you what I can benchpress my max 250 was not the number that I told you that's what fascinating night tracy said man we're gonna put 250 on there I want to see you give your best effort you passing those norm was protesting thinking man I ain't got time to get hurt having this much weight I'm telling you what I can handle this is too much weight race that man just get under that let's say you bench press this 250 so your pack said he got under there Huff the puff to got into the routine together but he knew this is gonna be a bad day said trainer said man just lifting off the ball was a struggle and as soon as he lifted off the bar the weight came crashing down on his chest pastor said he felt like his life flashed in front of him he was trying to think to himself how am I gonna tell my church out and got her lifting weights but the trainer said all right now push up past that he was sitting there struggle barely raised him inch by inch and the trainer said come on push up and in the midst of him pushing up he noticed that his trainer had his hands on the weight so while he's pushing up trainers hands along the way and a training said just push I gotcha cuz I will not let you live on your own I'm your spot it seems to you but you're not lifting this weight bias which I'll check this my pastor Goodman was lifting weights the prenda trainer was responding he said he still was struggling cuz the trainer said now I'm not gonna help you I need you to give me your best push took some time but as you were struggling to move it up he finally was able to do at least one repetition soon as he backed the weight training said man good job fast cummer said what you mean good job I struggled lifting this heavy weight and the trainer said that's good cuz struggling makes you strong he said its biggest trouble is when you learn how to manage bigger wait y'all I go help me give me maybe that's my son of us on a shout with the struggle come cuz the struggle is God's process to make you stronger but maybe not says I want to see if you lift it and the good news is I'm not gonna let you live by yourself but I want to see you struggle because in your struggle is making you better I come to testify the more I see me to walk with that way it was heaven but I can't walk I realized that when I got more with that cross on me even though it was heaven the struggle mainly better I believe somebody can say that's my testimony faster but I when I was looking over life and see the crosses I've had to bear I'm stronger now I know y'all do this in the back destroys what your best I just touch somebody close to you and tell them I'm stronger now if if you if you only knew how I used to be before I had to carry his cross oh he would have had to run me by the church but now because I'm stronger now I'm wiser now I'm so much better now that I realize now I'm stronger than I gave myself credit for if I didn't have to carry it I went on my own strength realized then come when I wanted it to come not expecting at that moment to have to carry across but I'm glad I went through it because it taught me how strong I really am Shauna's I was continued to move with this cross beat still had some distance you get to gaga this is the most pivotal part at this journey for me because I learned a valuable lesson while carrying this cross that I learned that crossed carrying brings one closer to Jesus SIA had this cross beam I know scripture doesn't take you the left and I want trivia I don't know the exact distance cuz i was still struggling with the way but there was some different as I lift it up this cross beam on my shoulders because when I lifted up the crossbeam on my shoulders it gave me a different perspective of Jesus see before I saw Jesus from the sideline but now I carrying this cross it gave me a closer view and a closer walk we're jump ahead one by two get half were just on that revelation right there that I remember would have sold Jesus like I saw if I would not have had his cross to carry but because I had to carry his cross it made me get closer to Jesus I'm carrying his cross as I saw him struggling and stammering there was something dignified about I told you people were mocking him and cursing at him some was spitting on him but he was walking with the air of dignity even stop to talk to someone on the way they were talking him down and Here I am having to carry his cross beam for Jesus and we made our way to go dr. Smith and as I made it to God off this hill they gave they the Roman soldiers took the cross beam from my shoulders they laid it on the ground I saw them take Jesus battered beaten and they laid him on this cross beam it took his left arm and they stretched it out took a spike that was some inches long and they nailed his wrist into the spike into the beam saw them take his other arm stretch it out on this cross beam to the point where both his shoulders were dislocated they now drove another spike in his right arm and then they lift it up Jesus on his cross i sat down the maze because I'm seeing Jesus now as he's hanging from across and guys I was close enough to hear what he was saying from the cross and go the first thing out of his mouth after all he's been through was Father forgive them for they know not what they do now your pastor told me y'all to save crowd but if y'all would mean that's not the first thing out of my mouth is forgive you but jesus said forgive them for they know not what they do i SAT there guys in amazement to hear him talk how he gave his mama up to his brother his free and I heard how he talked various to it and how he committed his spirit to God I saw when the Centurion placed the sphere in his side and said surely this is the son of God but here is my god because I realize that even though I had to carry the cross it was Jesus that died on which meant that even though it was hard carrying him it was never meant to kill that end everybody's revelation but that thing bless me cuz when I thought about what he was doing in my place that should have been me hanging on the cross but even though I had to struggle my struggle was only for an appointed my struggle was only to get there to the place where Jesus would have a time to repeat me and rudinos around sometimes you ought to be grateful that the thing you're carrying it may be inconvenient it may be uncomfortable but the good news is it didn't kill you there that some of us ought to be grateful and ought to give god glory I know you cry no you're hurt I know that you was upset but Frank's Peter even in my inconvenient move that cross I had to bear was never meant to destroy me it was all it meant to develop me I'm done does Mark mrs. rest of the Gospels don't really tell most of my story but the mark does talks about my son's Alexander and Rufus I know you wondering why would mark mention my son's why would he talk about my son's in mark 15 well remember before I had to carry it across I didn't know Jesus but after Mike Ross Karen experience and seeing Jesus for myself my life got change I got converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and here's the good news I didn't keep it to myself I'll get home to my wife talk to my two sons Alexander and Ruth so when Mark list their names remember mark is writing to a Roman Church and so my sons who saw me be change they were so impressed by my wings they gave their life to Jesus we can be roaming 16 tells us that even Paul committed roof isn't said he's one who's chosen of the Lord and his mother is like my mom I've got good news for somebody here cuz mark 15 in the last time you see me in Scripture move over to Acts chapter 13 I was so impressed and changed but my cross carry an experience that I'm joined the church and helped start a church in Antioch that may not mean much to you but ending up is the first place where believers got called Christians and in Antioch I was on the ordination camps for this fledgling preacher who used to be a rambling murderer but now had given his life to god his name was Paul and I was given the assignment to lay hands on all Commission power to be an apostle to the Gentiles I'm do y'all know how big that is because I carried my cross and mom I've got changed I didn't just affect my household but you wouldn't know Paul you would have half the New Testament we would have our Christian doctrine up if I didn't hang in there and carry my crime I dare you to tell somebody if you just hang on in there and how do your cross it's not just gonna affect you it's gonna affect somebody else there's something bigger you'll get I could happen let's stand together so I reflect back on that day life has been shaped when I started that day I had no clue that I will have to end up carrying across and so on but because I carry even though I didn't ask for i got closer to Jesus I got changed and those connected to me got change oh this this text is very personal for you pastor those know it's grandfather passed in 2008 this was the text and story that he preached for his grandfather at his homegoing celebration I asked pastor Goodman wisest XO personal for him past Goodman said well is personally because I'm a recipient of someone who carry someone else's Christ does it on my story my grandparents living in Greensburg retired you're ready to enjoy timeshares enjoy retirement life and they got thrown across of a little 14 month old oh baby they could have easily has said we're not going to handle this we've already raised enough children we've already done our due diligence but because they carry that cross that's how you got past the step oh shoot bear how is Lord bless somebody else you never know the fruit of the struggle you go through the day might bring the harvest for somebody else down the line listen I'm grateful to share that story my story with you I believe there's others like me who can say fast I'm Simon I feel you I too have had to carry across I didn't ask you I'm struggling it's painful but yet I decided I can handle this so let's I need those honesty as your pacifist all right I want those who say pastor I'm a cross bearer myself there's some things that I'm going through in life and I'll be honest with you it's not easy Nestor that's the Miss nomer of our Christian walk because I would make the argument that segment is really the first disciple of Jesus why would you say that passer jesus said if you won't be my disciple deny yourself take up the cross follow me Simon's the first one in Scripture that embodies that mandate of the site machine and that's why some of us miss it because you think this walk supposed to be easy across was never meant to be easy it was never meant to be wonderful and all that kind of stuff crosses her there are instruments of death but here's the good news is not meant to the stroll is only meant to develop I need some honest folk that that's a fast I feel my feet man that story Simon told me today sounds like my life I'm carrying the cross that I I didn't ask for this I didn't ask to go through this struggle I didn't ask they have to raise these kids by myself I didn't ask to be sent all the way to a city all by myself with no family I didn't ask for the financial struggle I didn't ask for any of this but since i got i might as well kill I want those who were here today I'm honest folk who say this is my sermon pastor this is my message I want you to meet me at this on time want to pray with you because I want you to know that through it all you can handle this it may feel like it's forced upon you you have no choice and honestly here is the truth God many times assigns affliction as a sign of affirmation I want real folk at the old I want people that can be honest and say God the eject up your plan sometime interrupted with some crazy stuff across you thinking to yourself not now have everything planned not now not me but I come today to tell you that sometimes even what may seem painful can be God's Way of producing purpose Simon would have never got close to Jesus if you've never carry this cross can I take it the benefits outweigh the birds you know what's crazy opportunities this is trees and this money to help believers is that so many times we focus on the burden how heavy it is how long we've been done they talk about me dis dad will the whole level can I tell sometimes what gave Simon strip was that he realized instead of focusing on the weight of the cross let me focus on the one unfollower cuz if I keep my eyes on Jesus I could handle stuff this heavy I keep my eyes on jesus i can keep walking even when I feel like giving up when I keep my eyes on you I may stop but i'm a get back home salissa can I tell you it's not a sin to stop it's a sin to stay there it's not seeing the feel bad stop beating yourself up because life's not fair life is not gonna be fair but what you need to say is alright we've been has indoor fun I know your rest of it I know it's a problem I know you say to yourself this ain't there I'm tired I'm tired I didn't ask to be signed up with this black guy said it's gonna be this gonna be it's gonna bless not just you but somebody is this somebody watching you and seeing how you handle somebody sees you struggling but keep walking somebody that sees you make it through and I want you to know today it's only for a set time you gotta carry all set