Alice in Wonderland How do you get to Wonderland? Over a hill or on a... We're just behind the tree.
When clouds are rolled upon, they roll away and leave the sky. There is a land beyond the eyes where people cannot see. Where can it be?
And during the American Revolution, King George III, or Old Mad George as some have so called him, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses And be dressed in shoes and half-naked trousers In a world of your own And he was so angry at General George Washington that he made all his wo- royal soldiers dressed in bright red uniforms that blah blah blah blah. All the flowers would have every extra special power. He would sit and talk to me for hours when I'm lonely in a world of your own.
And of course, these bright red uniforms made them look just like giant walking lobsters that went, Ah! Alice, honestly, when are you ever going to grow up? Look, Matilda, I'm a lion! Roar!
Alice, you're not a lion. You're a girl pretending to be a lion. How will you ever make your mark in the world if you don't know who you are? Remember what the immortal bard said. To thine own self be true.
You'd know that if you'd open a book once in a while. Books are pouring, I would rather live my life exploring, like Columbus on a voyage touring, through a world of love. Columbus discovered a new world. What are you... You're going to discover Alice, except for trouble.
No more trouble. What's great is the problem would be things I'll try to understand. Maybe somehow, if the world could run, I'll chase and make me leave them behind. Then I could be most anyone. The world would be a world of mine.
Yes! A wonderland that's all my own! Where?
Woo! Possible. Now let's go in Wonderland. Where is the path to Wonderland?
Over the hill or here or there. I want to go there. Good evening, I am the Cheshire Cat.
And I'm the Cheshire Cat. No, I'm the Cheshire Cat. We come from a big litter.
So, yeah, for this show, you're gonna have to put up with the both of us. Let's get right to it. Alice is about to discover that Wonderland is far more than she expected. It's a land of racing lobsters, singing flowers, mad tea parties, and of course, the Cheshire Cats!
The two Cheshire Cats? The two Cheshire Cats. We come into the story later.
Alice's journey to Wonderland begins with a long-eared, caramuching rabbit known only as... The White Rabbit! We said, Alice's journey begins with the White Rabbits! He must be running late.
Yo, White Rabbit, you're on! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. He's overdue, he's in a rabbit stew.
Even say goodbye Hello! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late I run and then I hop, hop, hop I wish that I could fly There's danger in my self-love But here's the reason why We know you're late It's clear So why are you still here? I'll never make it now, I fear You're late, you're late, you're late But where are you running to? Well, since you asked You see, the queen of hearts Throat is hot to go I think my watch is slow I wound it up, but now it's wound It makes a funny ticking sound Tick tock It's rather like a clock And thanks to that I have to run When I prefer to walk He really hates to rush, rush, rush It makes him awfully dizzy But still it's always mush, mush, mush It happens when you're busy, busy, busy Yes, yes, and now as you can guess No time to say hello Goodbye, you're late, Curiouser and curiouser, haven't you better be going then? I don't believe I've explained myself quite fully.
You have! You have! Please be quiet! Time is of the essence! The time is really- Flying by, we must be having fun But now there's roaming night Why I haven't yet begun I must stay, there must be no delay And now you must be on your way My friend Now the world makes you cry We know your schedule's really tight I'm going to fly Oh, look, it's our best bet.
He must be here. Okay, then. I'm late. We know. I'm late.
So go. I'm late. Late, late, late, late, late, late, late, late.
Late. What? I'm late. Well?
Late. You're late. Alice followed the white rabbit to the edge of the rabbit hole.
Should I or shouldn't I? You know what they say, if you don't explore, you'll never discover. But my sister Matilda always says look...
before you leap. Well, I'm looking, and it looks pretty deep and dark down there, and I can't see the bottom. And maybe it goes all the way to the center of the Earth, and I'll be burnt to a crisp. Or maybe not.
I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. But I love the change should something strange begin.
I'm sure that I know... seldom follow it. Will I ever learn to do the things I should? I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that you're always in.
The trouble that you're always in. Be patient is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. But you'll love the change should something strange begin Something strange begin I'm sure that I'm right from wrong And you have the best intentions Life should be such a merry song But there, but there Is where, is where I give myself very good advice But you barely sell the following Will she ever learn to Who do not think she should?
The price of your hat is not always a measure of your brain. Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. Necessity is the mother of invention. Beauty without virtue is a flower without purpose.
Tethys Puget! Don't worry, be happy! I give myself very good advice. But you very seldom always... Does she ever learn, does she ever learn, to do the thing, to do the thing she should?
Alice jumped into the dark rabbit hole. And fell for what seemed like three and a half weeks. More like four and a quarter.
She Until she finally landed, right in front of a door. A small door. A very small door.
This must be where the white rabbit went. I have to get in. Yeah! I saw Zola already. Oh, I'm sorry.
I have to find the white rabbit. Wait, did you just say something? The white rabbit, eh? Who doth need to go around the home of people's proboscis? You're not a person, you're a doorknob.
Um, excuse me, doorknobs have feelings too. I'm very sorry I fooled on your proboscis, but I have to find the white rabbit. Um, oh! Okay, how do I put this nicely? You are far too big to enter Wonderland.
Oh no, but I just have to get in! I have to! Shitties! Calm down!
You just arrived! There's far too much adventure ahead to lose patience already. Hmm... Katya, you see that table way over there? On top of that table is a bottle with some magic potion.
Maybe if you drink one sip of that potion, you might just fit. I wonder what's inside this. It looks interesting, but it could be poison or mustard! Or maybe floor polish. Or a combination of all three!
But I have to find the white rabbit! If you don't explore, you'll never discover! Bottoms up!
Uh, that's more than a sip. Goodness, save some for the rest of us. He said a sip! Atlas drank the whole bottle.
And shrank and shrank. And shrank and shrank. And shrank and shrank. Until she was smaller than an ant! Oh, look at me!
I can easily fit through the door now. I believe someone forgot about the key. The key?
Yes, the key. Sitting on top of the table. Oh no! Too small to reach it! Oh no no no!
Alright already! Don't have a conniption! On that same table is some magic cookies! One bite will make you big!
But how will I reach the cookies if they're up on the table? Look underneath! I'm sure there are crumbs. We're all sloppy eaters here! Yes!
I found some crumbs! Alice ate just one tiny crumb, and grew and grew, and grew and grew, and grew and grew, until she filled the entire room! Oh no! Now I'm too big!
Sorry, kid. You'll never fit in Wonderland now. Try Pittsburgh. But I need to see the white rabbit.
Oh no! Ouch! Cried and cried and cried and cried And cried and cried and cried and cried And cried and cried and cried and cried Until the entire room was filled with a potion of tears! What should I do?
Hurry! Take another sip from the bottle! It's a lonely hope! Alan sank back down and swam into the ocean of tears, doing the backstroke through the keyhole, and swam all the way to Wonderland. the land.
I am the monarch of the sea, the ruler of the queen's safety. We sail the ocean blue, and our saucy ships are beauty. We're a monster for your truth, and it's a dip.
Lanto, Bajo, Lanto! Yes, I'm all wet. Anyone got a blow dryer?
Or a towel? Oh dear, I do wish I hadn't cried this much. My dear, you're... Young Damsel, the only way to get yourself dry in Wonderland is to initiate an officially sanctioned caucus race. A caucus race?
A jolly caucus race! Avast me hurdies! Everybody take your place before we start the caucus race. With your wings and feet and fist, soon the race begins. Donkey and Elephant!
in the rain, a light to raise till dry again. When you hear them sneeze and cough, they're all, achoo! They're all, achoo! They're all!
Forward, backward, inward, Outward, bottom to the top Makes no difference where you run As long as you don't stop Never any finish line You might wear off your shoes But when the race is over No one ever seems to lose Horizons Horizons? Horizons, horizons, horizons Over, backward, inward, outward Bottom to the top Never a beginning There can never be a stop Two skipping, hopping, tripping, walking, there's the three again Started it tomorrow, but we'll finish yesterday Round and round and round we go until forevermore For once we were behind, but now we find we are We've over, back, and in, we're out, we're coming, joy to chase Nothing could be drier than a Jolly Cockus Jolly Cockus, Jolly Cockus, Jolly Cockus race I'm late, I'm late for a very important date No time to say hello, good night Be late! Oh Mr. Rabbit! Wait up!
Wait for me! Oh look! Another cookie!
After all that swimming and racing, I could use a pick-me-up! Alice took a bite from that cookie and grew back to her regular size. She couldn't seem to catch the white rabbit.
But then she ran into Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Literally! Literally!
Sorry? Oh, how do you do, Sari? I'm Tweedledee.
And I'm Tweedledum. I've never met anyone named Sari before. Oh, I'm Sari, but I'm not Sari. I'm Sari. Oh, how do you do?
I'm Tweedledee. No, I'm Tweedledee. No, I'm Tweedledee. You're Tweedledum. Oh, I am?
I'm sorry. What a coincidence. So is she. Oh, are we related?
I'm sorry. Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedledee.
Then I must be Tweedledum. Don't you two know who you are? Well, there's no need to attack us. Yes, we've only just met. I thought you knew each other.
I'm sorry. Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedledee.
And I'm Tweedledum. And I'm out of here. It's been fun, but I have to find the White Rabbit. Meetin' and runnin'.
Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedledee. And I'm Tweedledum. And I'm out of here. It's been fun, but I have to find the White Rabbit.
Meetin' and runnin'. Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedledee.
And I'm Tweedledum. And I'm out of here. It's been fun, but I have to find the White Rabbit.
Meetin' and runnin'. Oh, how do you do? I'm Tweedledee.
And I'm out of here. and very polite. Don't you have no coos?
There's a right way and a wrong way to do things. When first you meet a gentleman of caliber in class, you don't just beat and run, my dear, that's Calus horse and crass. Society has set the rules by which we all must play So listen while we spell them out!
And you'll be distant, yay! Say, how do you do? And shake hands, shake hands, shake hands How do you do? And shake hands, name your name and business Well that's just Uh uh uh How do you do?
Excellent, excellent! And perfect! It matters, could prevail And you do not act like a pig And break The problems that the world presents may not seem quite so big.
A bow and currency for a life can brighten up the day. And if you know what fork to use, then you are on your way. Say, how do you do?
And shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do you do? And shake hands, state your name and business.
How do you do? Uh oh, I think we're stuck. Howdy, Class A!
Now what do we do? Uh, I believe it's proper to start with an introduction. Tweedledee, meet Tweedledum.
Tweedledum, meet Tweedledee! Oh, how do you do, Tweedledee? I'm Tweedledum! I beg to differ, but I believe I'm Tweedledum! If you're Tweedledum, then I'm Tweedledee!
And that would mean I'm shaking my own head! But you're shaking my hand, so you must be Tweedledee! Oh dear!
How do you do? I shake hands, shake hands, shake hands! How do you do?
I shake hands, shake hands, shake hands! What's your name and business? The panelists left Tweedledee and Tweedledum to sort out their late-onset identity crisis and acute codependency.
She chased after the white rabbit, whom she trailed through the woods to a house. A comfy little velveteen house. A two up, three down, one man on third, A-frame, water ship down, hideaway Warren.
Just purr-fect for an interesting rabbit. Oh, there you are! Finally! Oh wait, I mean, how do you do?
My name is... Mary Ann! Mary Ann! Hurry! I can't find my white gloves!
But my name isn't Mary Ann. Mary Ann Ginger... Mr. Gilligan, I don't care what your name is! Don't argue with me! You're making me later than I already am!
Hurry! My gloves are somewhere in my house! And I'm late!
Boy, I never knew rabbits could be so pushy! Next I'll be taking orders for my pet iguana! Oh look, another cookie! What harm could one more cookie do? The famous last words!
Alice took one bite from the cookie and grew bigger than a house! Well, bigger than a rabbit's house. Help!
Help! There's a monster in my house! And I'm li- I'm not a monster.
I'm a little girl. Okay, a very big girl. Help! Help!
There's a very big little girl in my house and I'm still awake! Whoa! love the new outfit. I'm late.
Help me. Please help me. And help me too.
I have the answer. Hooray! We'll burn the house down.
No! Hurry up now. Gather the wood.
Anyone got a match? I'm all out. Oh dear. I better do something fast.
Maybe if I eat one of those carrots growing in the rabbit's garden. Just hurry, please. I'm late. Alice ate the carrot.
And can you guess what happened? She grew even bigger. Bigger than a... No, she shrunk back. Oh.
Ran away. ...blades of grass and explore the jungles of... ...the garden!
It's not scary. Oh. Big, small, no matter how hard I try, I never seem to fit in.
Up, down. Big, small. I never seem to fit in. Wow!
You are all so beautiful! We know, right Daisy? That's right, Rosie!
Everybody loves us because we're... The Flowers of the Golden Afternoon! The Golden Afternoon? What's that?
It's the name of our garden club. Our very exclusive garden club. If you want to be cool, you have to be a flower like us.
No one gets in unless we say so. And we don't just let in anyone. Soon you'll make a putz in June.
It's not easy to become a member of the Golden Afternoon, For a golden afternoon never settles, every day you have to breathe and prove. If you want to keep your step and pedal, in the golden afternoon. and stay in tune.
Otherwise, you're just a tribal flower to the golden actor. I wish I could be a flower of the golden afternoon. Keep dreaming crabgrass. You're just a little weed. I'm not a weed.
I'm Alice. I'm a girl. Ewww. Whatever!
Sorry Alice, but you're way too uncool to become a flower of a golden afternoon. You wouldn't talk to me like that if I weren't nine inches tall! But you are Alice!
You are nine inches tall! Ha ha ha ha ha! Beat it, slug!
Yeah! Before you wind up on the bottom of somebody's shoe! Ewww!
Oh, don't let those babbling blooms get you down, kid. But if I could look like them, I'd fit in. And life would be so easy.
Don't you know that beauty is just a surface thing? Who you really are, what you're really worth, resides much, much deeper. Those silly f- Flowers are just gonna wind up sitting around in a cheap vase in someone's living room till they wither and die. And then it's out with the garbage. Am I right?
I guess. Thank you. So tell me, who, pray tell, are you? Well, my name is Alice. Who, pray tell, are you?
I'm the caterpillar, kiddo. You're a wonder of wonders. You're a miracle of miracles.
You're a happy, happy day. But tell me, who are you? Ugh, I'm so confused. I wanted adventure, but nothing makes any sense around here.
Alice, adventure doesn't always make sense. But it doesn't mean you stop exploring. Now, the caterpillar's gonna show us some magic. words with you guaranteed to make even your worst day simply fabulous. Are you ready?
Okay. Repeat after me. Who... Who... Are...
Are... Zippity-doo-dah. Zippity-doo-dah.
Zippity-ay. Zippity-ay. Zippity-doo-dah.
Zippity-ay. You've been holding out on me! Hit it!
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay My, oh my, what a wonderful day Sunny and sunshine head my way Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Does it, buddy, eight? But what's it mean? I have no idea.
But it sure makes you feel good when you say it. Doesn't it? I guess. Does it, buddy, two?
Does it, buddy, eight? My oh my, what a wonderful day Plenty of sunshine heading my way Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Mr. Bubbles on my shoulder It's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay Wonderful feeling, One Dibble Day! Ya see? I do feel a little better. A little better?
Girl, you've got to cry! Now say zip! Zip! No, zip!
Zip! Come on, zip! Zip!
Yeah, zip! Zip! That's it, I say zip, zip!
Zippity do! Zippity doo da de! I say zip, zip! Zippity da! Now that's the doo da way!
Doo da de da! Zip! Do-da, do-da. Do-da, do-da. Do-da, do-da.
Do-da, do-da. Do-da, do-da. Zippity-doo-dah day.
Oh, zippity-doo-dah, zippity-yay. My, oh, my, what a wonderful day. Plenty of sunshine heading my way. Wonderful feeling. Oh, wah, oh, wah, oh, wah, oh, wah, oh, wah, wah, wah, wah, wonderful day.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay. My, oh my, what a wonderful day. What is that? Oh look, it's a butterfly.
Wow, it's you, the caterpillar. Just getting in touch with my inner fabulosity, kiddo. So can you!
My inner fabulosity? But what do I do? Be yourself and be happy!
No, I mean about being nine inches tall. You want to grow big and strong? I'm not a big guy. I'm a big girl.
I'm a big boy. You gotta eat the right foods. Try one of those magic cookies over there.
Oh, I think I've had enough cookies for one day. But thank you. Oh, but these ones are high in fiber. And inspiration. Simply delectable.
Hasta la vista, baby. Caterpillar slash butterfly flapped away. Alice ate the magic cookie.
And then grew back to a more medium size. She was still confused. I'm still confused.
But then she met me. Us. We. Hi Alice, we're the Cheshire Cats. Oh, how do you do?
I have a cat just like you. Her name is Dinah. Oh, really? Just like us, huh? Well, maybe.
I'm not sure. Actually, I'm not sure of anything anymore. I thought Wonderland would be a place of adventure.
Everything I always dreamed about. But I'm not even sure of who I am anymore. Somebody having a bad day?
Maybe the white rabbit can help me, but I can't find him anywhere. Hmm, maybe you should ask the mad hatter. Yeah, the mad hatter knows where everything is.
Trouble is, it's all kept under the hat. A mad hatter? I don't want to make anyone mad.
Haven't you noticed? We're all mad here. The mad hatter. Hmm...
I guess I better go find him! Make sure you join his tea party! It's just lovely! Try the Red Zinger! It does wonderful things for growing pains!
A very merry unbirthday to you! To you! A very merry unbirthday to you!
To you! It's great to drink to someone and I guess that you will do A very merry unbirthday to you! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, but I thought there was plenty of room! Nah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited! Oh, but I thought there was plenty of room!
I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed. Also, can't you see? We're social distancing.
Um, excuse me. I didn't mean to crash your birthday party. It's not a birthday party. It's an unbirthday party. An unbirthday party?
Well, you only have one birthday each year, but you have... We have 364 unbirthdays! Sometimes, 365!
True! Happy Unbirthday! A very merry birthday to us To us A very merry birthday to us To us No objections, let it be unanimous A very merry on birthday to us! A very merry on birthday to me To who?
To me! Oh you! A very merry on birthday to you To me?
Yes! I see! Let's all congratulate ourselves another cup of tea!
A very merry a birthday to Wee! up throw party to a very special party. You mean?
Guess who? I hate to be specific, but this girl is terrific! You mean? We do! This damsel is so wonderful, let's train her royally!
A very merry A very merry unbirthday, a very merry unbirthday, a very merry unbirthday, to you, That was rude. Yes, exactly. Just where are your manners? I'm late. I'm late.
For a very important date. No time to say goodbye. Hello! He's late. I'm late.
He's late. I'm late. Oh my, will you look at the time? Late! Did you say you were late?
Only about 76 times. Not that anyone's counting. See?
Well, your watch is slow, silly. Here, let me fix it for you. Scalpel! forceps forceps axle grease peanut peanut butter crunch sheet hurry we're losing her This is the worst liver I've ever seen! Liver!
Liver! I command you to liver! No! Time to get a new watch!
Oh no! You broke it! I know!
Wasn't it fun? Let's do it again! Oh no!
Now we'll never get there on time! Hey wait, you forgot your watch! Alice ran after the white rabbit.
She ran and ran and... Stop. Really?
Wonderland is too crazy for me. The rules keep changing and no one can tell me why. Maybe Matilda was right.
Maybe I should stop exploring and just go home. If I could only find my way. Alice, hate to break it to you, but in Wonderland, there's only the Queen's Way.
The Queen's Way? But I've never met a queen! Then this is your lucky day!
You're going to meet the biggest, baddest queen of all! This way, to the Royal Garden! HMF!
the roses red, and many a tear we shed. Because we know they'll cease to grow, in fact they'll soon be dead, and yet we go ahead. Painting the roses red, painting roses, painting roses, painting the roses red, they're painting the roses red.
Oh, pardon me, but Mr. Three, why must you paint them red? Stop! At first we planted white, but we thought that it was right. And we hadn't even come upon this song. But now we're in a pickle, for the royal mind is fickle.
And it turned out that we were wrong. The queen, she likes her red, and then she saw white instead. She raised a glass and each of us, we looked, we looked, we said, Oh my!
This is the love we dreamt, painting the roses red. Painting roses red. Painting roses, painting the roses red.
Painting the roses, painting the roses red. No doubt you'll quake when you can see the stain that's what we'll say. We're painting the roses red.
Not pink, not green, not aquamarine. We're painting the roses, painting the roses, painting the roses red. Here is her grace! See her roosty! The queen!
The king! Yes! Who's been painting my roses red?
Who's been painting my roses red? Oh, Derek, you can't be full or paint the royal flower bed For I'm painting my roses red! So I won't lose his head!
Your majesty, please, acknowledge this song! Not me, your grace, the ace, the ace! I knew it was you! Oh no, it was two!
The two's you say? Not me, it's the ace! That's enough numerical stuff!
Enough of your scarlet and crimson, vermilion, then ruches, then cherries, then reds! You're going to lose your head You're going to lose your head For painting the roses red And just what do we have here? Excuse me, but I believe you mean to say, whom do we have here? Silence!
We speak the Queen's English here, you nameless little whelp! Yes, your loudness. I mean your meanness.
I mean your highness! And my name is Alice. Alice?
Yes, Alice. At least it was when I got here. Impossible!
Everyone knows Alice doesn't live here anymore! Okay, well, um, that works too, because all I want to do is get out of here and find my way back home! Your way home? You'll find my way home or off with your head! You'll be who I say you are and no one else!
Do you understand? No. Actually, I don't understand. Nothing makes any sense around here. And don't you forget it.
Now. Before you go anywhere, you'll have to beat me in Wonderland's favorite pastime. Wonderland's favorite pastime? No, Croquet is so 19th century.
I want to play something much more fun. Simon Says. Simon Says? Simon Says.
By Orpah Queen, all cards on deck. The Tournament of Simon Says. And don't be late! Simon Says Curtsy Simon Says Bow Simon Says Jenny Flet Simon Says Meow Simon Says Swim Upstream Simon Says Think About What I'm Saying Simon Says Scream Simon Says Turn Around And Howl Like Wild Dogs Now Face Me I didn't say Simon Says. Off with his head!
Whoever does not want to join him, face me. I didn't say Simon Says. Off with his head! I see you've played this game before!
Oh, I love Simon Says! But does Simon love you, I wonder? It's time for the lightning round!
Simon Says, face me! Simon Says Hop on One Leg Simon Says Do Jumping Jacks Simon Says Live Like A Frog Simon Says Melt Like Wax Simon Says Walk Like A Monster Simon Says Scream With No Sound Simon Says Tap Dance Simon Says Turn Around Now Face Me Ugh You know the drill. Simon says face me! Simon Says Hold one foot behind your back And wave your arms and sing at the top of your lungs! Pinch the rose and rise, pinch the rose and rise I despise that song!
Stop singing before I've had it blown! My ears, my ears! Royal Guard, rock the way! But you didn't say Simon Says! She's right, you know.
I'm afraid the match goes to Alice! You may have won the match, Alice, but you've just lost your head! Royal Guard, up your head!
Oh, but wait! Don't I even get, uh, a trial? A trial? Well, yes. Just a little trial.
Just this once, you know? Hmm. Majesty, members of the jury, all subjects, and the king, yes! is charged with enticing her majesty to plead apart into a game of Simon Says.
And thereby, With malice aforethought, teasing, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved... Never mind all that. Get to the part where I lose my temper. Goodbye, causing the queen to lose her temper.
Are you ready for your sentence? Sentence? But we haven't heard any witnesses yet.
Well, if you want to get technical, may we have the first witness? First witness? First witnesses.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Tweedledee and Tweedledum, please take the stand. How do you do? Tweedledee and Tweedledum, can you please introduce yourselves to the court? That's just a problem.
He can't. We don't know who we are anymore. That horrible little girl got us all tied up in a knot. You see? You see?
And can you please tell the court her name? Sorry. You can't tell us her name? Sorry.
Just tell us her name. Sorry. Can we have the next witnesses? Next.
Who's on second? I thought who was on first. No, who's on second?
What's on first? This is completely confusing. Can we... Please have the next witnesses! Next witnesses!
The flowers of the golden afternoon! Good afternoon, flowers. Now, did you observe any incredibly suspicious behavior on the part of this incredibly guilty party?
Well, your honor, she wanted to become a member of our club. She didn't. I know, right?
Ew! She wanted to be a flower like us! That's just wrong!
And what did you tell her? Well, your majesty, we said... EW!
Thank you. Next witnesses! The Mad Hatter!
And the March Hare! Uh, with your hat please? Ah, with your... Oh, hat.
Mad Hatter and Marge Hare, what have you to add to the already rock solid evidence against this defendant? This girl has no manners! This rebellion must be stopped! No manners, huh?
And just where were you when this horrible crime was committed? Well, we were having a tea party. Today is my aunt's birthday.
Why dear, today is your aunt's birthday too. It is... We ought to throw a party to a very special party!
You mean... Guess who? I hate to be specific, but your highness is terrific!
You mean... I do! The queen of hearts is all the rage that suits her royalties!
Off with your heads! I'm not afraid of you! You're nothing but a pack of playing cards!
What did you call us? What did you call me? I should shuffle you all and cut you in half!
Revolution! Revolution! Off with your heads!
Who are you? With all due respect, Your Majesty, I think the better question is, who are you? Are you an attorney?
Ha ha! I'm not an attorney! And I didn't stay in the Holiday Inn Express last night. But I'll help the girl if it so pleases the court.
It wouldn't. But... But I guess a few questions couldn't hurt. One question, then off with your- Yes, we get it.
Alice, remember, inner fabulosity. Now, answer this one simple question and dig deep. Who... Are you?
Well, I'm not. I'm not a silly pair of tweedles who get all bent out of shape and tied up in knots if you don't know the proper way to say hello. And I'm not a I am not a bunch of snooty flowers who act like they're better than everybody else and whose only ambition in life is to look pretty.
And I'm not some party animal mad hatter who likes to break other people's things just because it's funny. I'm certainly not a crazy white rabbit who never has time to visit and play and get to know me when all I wanted to do was be his friend. And I'm absolutely, positively not a big old nasty queen of hearts who threatens everybody and yells terrible, terrible things.
I'll tell you who I am. I'm... I'm Alice.
I'm Alice! Alice! Alice! Wake up, Alice! Are you okay?
I'm Alice! I'm Alice! Oh, Alice, I think you've been dreaming again.
You were asleep, sweetie. I was? You were.
And you're safe now. And now I'm back home! And I know who I am!
And I never want to be anyone else! Welcome back, Alice. You know what? I think I have a book you might actually like to read. Alice in Wonderland!
How do you get to... Over the hill or under land, or just behind the tree, where can it be? Oh, Nassau Rainbow.
Follow the brightest star Your heart will lead you Straight to who you are Alice in Wonderland Where is the path to wonderland? Over the hill or here or there I want your way You see that table way over there? On top of that table is... That did not work. Cut!