Lecture Notes: Speaking Better in the Moment

Introduction

• Focus on improving spontaneous speaking skills
• Importance of small talk and introductions in communication
• Challenge: speaking in unplanned situations can be awkward and uncomfortable

Background and Methodology

• Developed methodology for MBA students at Stanford
• Addressed difficulties in cold call questions and spontaneous responses
• Utilized research from psychology, anthropology, sociology, improvisation, and neuroscience

Six-Step Methodology Overview

Categories: Mindset and Messaging

Step 1: Manage Anxiety

• Many people experience anxiety in high-stake speaking situations
• Important to manage both symptoms and sources of anxiety
  • Symptoms: Physical responses (e.g., blushing, dry mouth, heart racing)
  • Sources: Fear of negative outcomes (e.g., not achieving goals)
• Techniques to manage anxiety:
  • Deep belly breaths
  • Drink warm water, chew gum, or suck on lozenges for dry mouth
  • Hold something cold to reduce sweating
  • Engage in physical activity or listen to music to ground oneself
  • Use tongue twisters to warm up speaking abilities

Step 2: Maximize Mediocrity

• Avoid self-judgment and excessive evaluation
• Reduce mental bandwidth consumption to focus more effectively
• Allow yourself the freedom to speak spontaneously without the pressure of perfection

Step 3: Change Perspective on Threats

• Treat spontaneous speaking situations as opportunities, not threats
• Example activity: Giving/receiving gifts to illustrate positivity in interaction
• Adopt a growth mindset and the "not yet" mindset
• Use improvisation principles (e.g., "Yes, and..." approach)

Step 4: Listening

• Importance of deep listening to understand and respond appropriately
• Methods to enhance listening:
  • Listen intently and focus on the underlying message
  • Use the "Pace, Space, Grace" method for effective listening
  • Encourage clarifying questions and paraphrasing for better understanding

Messaging

Step 5: Structure

• Importance of structured responses to maintain clarity
• Recommended structures:
  • Problem-Solution-Benefit
  • What-So What-Now What
• Example of feedback structure based on these frameworks

Step 6: Focus

• Aim for concise and relevant communication
• Establish clear goals: Information, Emotion, Action
• Avoid overwhelming the audience with excessive details

Practical Application

• Use provided structures and focus techniques for spontaneous speaking situations
• Practice through repetition, reflection, and seeking feedback

Resources

• Podcast: "Think Fast, Talk Smart" on communication skills
• Book: "Think Faster, Talk Smarter"
• Additional resources available via QR code shared in presentation

Conclusion

• Improvement in spontaneous speaking takes time and practice
• Emphasize the importance of managing anxiety, maximizing presence, and structuring messages effectively.