It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn. Hey Mandy! Fancy meeting you here! This is my locker.
So it is. So it is. Isn't it subliiiiime?
Looks like I hit some kind of big ugly bug! Oh, never mind. That's just Mandy.
I didn't realize the zoo animals were on parade. Ha ha! Very funny man!
Mandy, and in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm. Actually, I'm practicing for when I get crowned in this year's Little Miss Scurvy pageant. I've got the three things you need to win.
Looks, charm, talent, and brains. See how the other kids bow before me? Mindy, beauty pageants are ridiculous contests for ridiculous girls.
Oh, Mandy, man, man. Mandy! Mand-Mandy Mandy Mandy Mandy!
Mandy! Mand-Mandy! Ugly people are so predictable! But, since you were born hideous and beast-like, it's not my place to judge! Now stop uglying up my float!
I have to get to class! Hey! AAH! I've got a lemon for a head!
I guess that makes me craaazy. Hello, Principal Good Vibes. Mandy, I overheard the hurtful things Mindy said to you.
And I think she's got a point. You have to look deep inside, and realize that the only one who can decide if you're truly pretty......is a panel of three judges! Here's the pageant entry form. Faster! Faster!
Faster! I can't go no faster. Faster! You can't go no faster.
You can't go no faster. You can't go no faster. and carry your own books home. Why do they gotta load you up with so many books anyways? Actually, it's just one big book.
A textbook history of textbooks? Well, I think I'd better divide it into chapters. Wait, I sense a disturbance in the force.
Holy moly! Is it a candy necklace? Give it to me! It's mine, mine, mine, all mine!
It ain't no candy necklace, boy. But I prefer that it had been. Why you hiding in the bushes? I have a question for you two. Do you think I'm...
pretty? Well, I think you're pretty something. Yeah, pretty mean! Why the sudden interest in your appearance?
I was thinking of entering a... beauty... pageant.
I Think she's serious Is it true, Mandy? Are you... serious? What is it? A pageant entry form.
Oh, she's serious, man. Why on earth would you want to do that? Well, well, well, if it isn't the Mugly Gang. And by Mugly, I mean monstrously ugly. Cindy.
Mindy. Mindy. You're not really going to enter the Little Miss Scurvy pageant, are you, Mandy?
Scared of the c- I'm scared that the judges will mistake you for a big doo-doo monster and chase you out of town with torches! Oh yeah? We'll see who chases whom with torches.
Yeah! Maybe you'll take your pants off! Beat your pants off. Beat your pants off!
Oh, I'm so sure she'll win. And in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get a rib removed.
Oh, and just so you know, we don't really believe you can win. Yeah, we just got caught up in the moment. Wait a second, Grim! Why don't you use your powers to make Mandy bootyful? Darn it, boy!
I'm not a miracle worker! But I know someone who is. I suggest we move. Move? Move quickly!
Chicken wing! Crumb! Meekrabina!
You look as fabulous as ever! Kiss! Grim darling! If I could move any part of my face, you'd know how happy I was to see you! Children, Meekrabina, the underworld's premier makeover artiste!
Well, it's not as bad as you made it sound. Of course, we'll have to do something about that nose. No, the other one. Other one?
What other? Oh my goodness! Ah! I mistook her for an angry tree stump!
What's wrong with my nose? Forget it, Grim. I don't need her help.
Trust me, Krabina made me who I am today. You should have seen me before. I looked like a total nerd. My dear, dear child, your problem is not a physical one. Why, with enough surgery, anyone can look beautiful.
True beauty... Oh, just a moment. Where was I? Oh, yes.
True beauty lies within. In her lungs? In her attitude! What does this girl's attitude say to you?
Ooh, it says bad things! Things I'm not supposed to repeat! Make the bad things go away! I'll be good, Mommy!
I promise! Exactly. She's what we refer to as a sour grape.
Yeah, but she's always been like this. Then our goal is clear. If she cannot learn to smile by week's end, she has no hope of winning the pageant. Will Mandy win the pageant?
Will she ever smile? I don't care! Instead, here's an important commercial message. IMPORTANT COMMERCIAL MESSAGE!
And so throughout the week they tried a series of dumb gags to make Mandy smile. Let's watch a clip. Watch a clip! Any reaction? There was even a wretched musical number.
Hey man, I just wanna say man If you'd only smile once in a while Then maybe your face wouldn't look so vile JUST GIVE ME A TRIAL! It's always in style! This song's a big stinky pile And then the day of the pageant finally arrived!
Well, the day of the pageant has finally arrived. Look at these little girls all tortured up! What kind of sad, needy person would... force him to do that.
Don't forget, this is Mommy's big day. The bigger you smile, the more beautiful Mommy looks. Baby, it's time to earn Mommy's love.
I don't see Mandy. Krabina wanted to do her hair and makeup. Ah, here they come!
Wow, Mandy! You look lots better! Gentlemen, prepare for shock and awe! The plain, drab Mandy you knew before...
is dead! Grim! She murdered Mandy!
It's a figure of speech, dummy. Say hello to Ennsville's newest glamour girl! Grr! Oh, my word. I feel ridiculous.
You are ridiculous. Ridiculously beautiful. Oh, I agree.
She's a real looker now. And in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm. Putting makeup on you is like putting diamonds on doo-doo.
Give it up, Mandy. I was Little Miss Ricketts last year, Little Miss Toe Jam the year before, and girl, I'm gonna be Little Miss Scurvy this year. year oh and here's a little advice put the bag back on please you want me to turn her into a stink bug no grim I want to crush her on my own All right ladies, it's showtime!
Good luck, Mandy. And try to smile! Mandy, I only have these words to offer.
You are a special girl. And what you lack in grace, you make up for in fury. I believe in you.
Oh, and here's some petroleum jelly. A little rubbed on your teeth will help you smile. Yeah, that's better. One girl, today we'll choose a girl.
One girl, above all the rest. One girl, the day belongs- to one girl. It's the one girl who'll pass the test. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the contestants for... little Miss Scurvy!
Woo! Yeah, baby! Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!
And say hello to our impartial judges, General Scar, Captain Green Gums, and Mindy's mom! Hi, honey! Hi, mom!
Impartial, my big bony. But before we begin, let's stop and think about why we're here. My wife made me cum! Scurvy is a terrible, terrible disease. Isn't that right, Captain Green Gums?
Arr! I used to have a set of gums what made all the tavern wenches swoon! Then I got the scurvy!
They had to replace me gums with... with... Kosher pickles! Ha ha ha ha! And I hate pickles!
Ha ha ha ha! Statistics show the number one cause of scurvy is ignorance. Please do not boil your fruit juices.
I cannot stress this enough, people. Now that that's out of the way, let the pageant begin! First round, evening gowns! Jewelry! Julie Laura Eva Zena Anna Ray Sue Mindy Mandy And now, swimsuit!
Nice ehh... Western wear! Boldness be slowly winning me heart, but her coldness keeps me at an emotional distance Samurai armor Renaissance fair Jersey mall Jabbar Arrgh!
That'll cost her some points! Our last event... My personal favorite... The Talent Competition!
YEEEAAAHHHHH! This routine be technically sound, but wire be the soul, the passion! It's so close! All Mandy's got to do is smile!
I'm gonna vomit from the tension, yo! Well, well, well if it isn't Little Miss Runner Up! And in case you didn't know, that was sarcasm! No, wait, it wasn't! You know what to do!
Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow. Skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why?
Can't I? Happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow Why oh why can't I? I......am... Grrrr!
Arr! She appears to be moving a vessel out to port! Come on!
Come on! Bring it! Bring it! You ever get the feeling something really bad is about to hap-So beautiful!
What have we done? You fools! You've messed with the natural order! Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!
Reality is falling apart! What's gonna happen to us? I don't know, but I'm gonna hold you tight and never let go.
I love you, Grim. What about me, y'all? You'll be fine. The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The Okay, we keep flying, we never head back, we never talk about this again. Yep.
Uh-huh. And so once again, the day is saved thanks to Billy, Mandy and Grim. I can't breathe y'all! The cinch too tight!
Ugh...