Church is so great to be back with you today and dive back into this series on decisions and I'm gonna start by telling on my wife a little bit and so before I do that I just I want to say I've got permission from her to share this with you but one thing my wife struggles with now listen I have a lot of struggles and my list of struggles is a lot longer than hers but there is something that she struggles with and more than really anyone I know which is indecision like she's truly struggles with making decisions and I'll just kind of give you a glimpse into what this looks like so when we go to the grocery store and I don't even like going to the grocery store with her for this reason because when we go to the grocery store she'll be shopping and she'll just get stuck on what to buy now let me give you a picture what this looks like like she'll be in the bread aisle and she's trying to figure out what loaf of bread to buy not what brand of bread to buy because she knows what brand she wants it's the mrs. Baird 7 Oates honey something or other like she has the one that she wants and but she'll never buy the one that is outward-facing like the one that everyone's walking by like she'll reach in the back and she'll grab a couple loaves and she's looking and she's like all right do I want this one or this one then she'll come to me and she'll say which one of these feels softer I don't know pay because I think they came from the same bread truck probably cooked by they're the same at the same time in the same oven you know they're the same and if you if you can't tell which one's softer like how does it even matter you know and so I see these decisions so she'll make one she'll choose one she'll choose a loaf of bread and then we'll kind of be on about our way and then we'll be in the cereal aisle about to kind of go through the same process but I'll see kind of she's you know her wheels are spinning on something I'm like everything okay she's like I'm just not sure I got the right one she'll start to second-guess herself you know and this is her struggle like she'll begin to just kind of second-guess her decision did I make the right decision that I get the right loaf of bread and my struggle in this is very different it's the other extreme I can tend to be too hasty like I can not think about things long enough I'm just like give me that bread give me that box of cereal you know and and I'll do that in life like I just won't process things very long I'll go with my gut I'll make quick decisions sometimes rash decisions often hasty decisions which that has consequences of its own and so sometimes she and I will really get in a bind when like I don't care and she doesn't know what to choose in fact there's one question in our marriage that has caused more marital strife than any other situation there is one question that we will ask of each other where she and I will just get stuck and it's kind of both of our struggles coming to head and it's this question I'm gonna give it to you like this has caused more pain in our marriage than just about anything else what do you want to do for dinner where do you want to eat and if I'm like well I don't care then she's like well you choose I'm like but I honestly don't care let's just go to the how about sushi she's like no you know I hate sushi well then you choose you know well no because I don't want to choose I don't know what to do and would just get stuck there in fact I honestly thought about coming up with the restaurant called I don't care so that when people are in that kind of indecision they're like where do you want to eat I don't care it's like oh great we'll go there like that was don't steal that okay that's my idea but there are some decisions in life that are much more important than what bread sabai or where to eat and these decisions will take us places these decisions are much more serious than kind of the day-to-day challenges if you will some decisions you can get stuck on you can second-guess yourself and sometimes you make rash decisions like I do and I'll just tell you like Monica's problem it's safer because people don't ruin their lives when they don't know what to do they ruin their lives when they know what to do but they just choose incorrectly then what they know is wrong people don't ruin their lives when they don't know what to do they ruin their lives when they know what to do but what they know is wrong and all of us you and I we are one bad decision from disaster that's the reality you and I are one bad decision away from complete and utter disaster and so what bread to buy and where to eat that's one thing but but you and I we have to make some real decisions in fact I just asked some friends hey what are big decisions that people have to make and this is the list that we came up with and I bet you recently had to make a decision like this or maybe you're in a place where you have to make a decision like this things like where should I go to college or what should i major in or who should I date or should we get married where should I work should we move when should we start a family how many kids should we have are we done should we take permanent measures for birth control some of you have probably wrestled with that maybe even in your life group recently should we travel right now should we buy a house how much should we spend on a house what should our giving look like right now these are big questions that people wrestle with like most of us we've been in a place where we're asking those questions and it's always a surprise to me when I hear about somebody who shows up to life group to inform their life group of a big decision they made like hey guys I just want you to know we just bought a house hey we just bought a car last week a high five you know hey guys want you to know we've got this surgery scheduled this week oh we were you not gonna process that with us like I thought we were in your life to help you with those kinds of decisions no you you you're just letting us know what you chose and I want to present something different to you today because here's my concern a lot of you you may show up to your life group and you might say hey we're wrestling with what house to buy and they don't know how to help you today is going to be a turning point in our church I hope this is one of the most helpful messages you'll ever hear because I am going to plagiarize from the wisest person who has ever walked the planet Earth other than Jesus in fact this King one time God kind of gave him a wish of anything and because he chose correctly God made him wise God made him one of the wisest people ever to live in fact his book the book he wrote is the book of wisdom and so I'm going to teach you from the Proverbs today about making decisions and I'm going to give you a framework that you can use for the rest of your life when someone shows up to life group and they say hey I'm really wrestling with this decision you know exactly what questions to ask to help them that's what we're talking on today and so we're in this series called decisions last week we talked about what does it look like to be led by the holy spirit that's the foundation this idea that God is with us and he's helping us that Jesus left and gave us a counselor his spirit to live in us and with us to influence us towards the things of God and make known to us the things of God through the Word of God and today I want to give you the questions to ask to help someone make a decision in fact we're going to look at six questions there's something called the five W's or maybe you've heard it five W's and one h and so these are things that governor I'm sorry that journalists use when trying to problem-solve you can find them on Wikipedia you know these questions it's who what where who what when where why and how who what when where why and how and Wikipedia just says about this these are basic information gathering and problem-solving questions used in journalism and police investigations and so from the Proverbs today I'm going to give you the who what when where why and how of making decisions six questions that will help you for the rest of your life giving you a framework so that you can make decisions today is going to be Hoover practical very very practical get a pen get a notepad right now you're going to want to write these down these will be helpful to you for the rest of your life you can be wise because wisdom comes from in fact wisdom is the ability to make right decisions for the rest of your life at the end of this message you will be wiser you will be able to walk in a greater wisdom because of what is shared with you from the Word of God today and so the first question is who should speak into this decision who should speak into this decision you might also ask who is impacted by this decision like as you make big decisions in life that it leaves a wake for others to live in and so who is impacted by this decision and should I get them to speak into it but let me share with you what the Proverbs say about this reality so the proverbs 12 verse 15 says the way of a fool seems right to him but a wise man listens to advice proverbs 15 22 says plans fail for lack of counsel but with many advisors they succeed proverbs 15 31 says whoever heeds life giving correction will be at a home among the wise proverbs 19 verse 20 says listen to advice and accepts instruction proverbs 20 verse 18 says make plans by seeking advice and these proverbs go on and on and on and on and so I told you it always surprises me when someone shows up to their life group and tells them what decision they made without processing it with them that group is there to help you this is one of the enormous benefits of being and living in Christian community so that you can get help so who should speak in this certainly your life group and also consider those who are impacted by this decision and the way that you would process with your life group is you would get in a room you would pray like crazy that the Spirit of God would speak through godly counsel in your life others yielded to his holy spirit collective wisdom that the Proverbs talk about you would present the facts to them then you would sit on your hands and you will listen and pray that the Lord would speak through them and so I want you to acknowledge the difference between sharing your idea and selling your idea I want you to acknowledge the difference between seeking counsel and seeking confirmation counsel is when you get in the room I mean confirmation is when you get in a room and and you're telling them and you're selling them and you just hope they're nodding their head because your heart is already wrapped around it and you're already convinced what you should do and the proverb calls you a fool but you can sit with them and you can ask guys here's the facts here's what I know what should I do and pray that the Spirit of God would speak through them and sometimes you may need to win the circle bring in resident experts other people that you know that can be a part of the problem or a part of the solution and help you move forward know into widen the circle this has been one of the greatest blessings of my life like I look back on this board of directors right that that I've placed over my life and I've made decisions of when to buy cars what cars to buy when to move where to move what house to buy how much to spend when we should start having kids how many kids should we have just about everything early on in our marriage I would always try to get in a room with the white board so that could ride it up there and begin to ask them proverbs 18 verse 2 says fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight and airing their own opinions and so as you meet with that life group you want to be sure that you clearly communicate the facts to them and that's actually number two so number one was who should speak into this decision and number two is what are the facts you want to gather all of the facts get the facts this is what the proverb proverbs say here proverbs 18 verse 13 says to answer before listening that is folly and shame so that we don't just answer without gathering all of the facts first right and so when you're buying a house what are the facts you need to know right is the house in a floodplain you know do you have a survey have you looked at those kinds of things but what about other things like well what's your income what's your debt right what you know how much house can you afford how much should you spend these are huge questions how much do you have in savings have you saved for a down payment and you might be thinking how am I gonna talk to my life group about how much I make now I'll talk to a stranger who's going to you know do my mortgage about how much I make but I'm not gonna talk to the board of directors over my life could you imagine a company being ran by a Board of Directors but the CEO saying hey I'm not going to share with you our earnings or our profits now why wouldn't we do that we'll pride and also pride pride but I think if we want to make wise decisions you know what we could check our pride at the door and we could show up and say hey you know what I'm an open book I'm not gonna manage information like here's the picture can you guys help me know what to do well what if someone's really intimidated by that you know that's a growth opportunity for them well what if I'm embarrassed well that's a growth opportunity for you right that you would present the facts how are they going to help you make wise decisions if they don't have the facts so ask lots of questions and then you're asking questions don't let your emotions get in the way and if someone asks you a question that you don't know the answer to it should be a big red flag that you don't have all the facts so like recently someone had invited me to go somewhere on a trip with them and I was just so excited I was like yes and I ran inside and I was like hey Monica guess what uh-uh so and so just invited me on this trip and she was like wow that's great do you know what it's going to cost and I was like honestly I have no idea didn't ask because I got so excited my emotions got in the way that I didn't begin to gather all of the facts and so when I said hey first I need to talk to my wife I didn't gather all of the information that I need to talk to my wife about so you've got to gather the facts and one of the things that can keep us from gathering all the facts is the time constraints are being rushed and that's actually the third question and so when do you need a decision you have to know your timeline and if your timelines too fast or too speedy you you do not want to let the pressure of time cause you to make a bad decision right so you may just need to slow down but those who help you process this decision they're they're going to need to know how much time do you have in fact this is what the proverb says proverbs 19 verse 2 says desire without knowledge is not good how much more will hasty feet miss the way Ecclesiastes 5 also warns us about being hasty and so today in the land of FOMO like the fear of missing out can cause us to drive us to making a bad decision especially when we're given time constraints and so here's a rule if you're driven by FOMO don't go it almost rhymes if you're driven by FOMO don't go right slow down as my friend often says a good opportunity today will be a good opportunity tomorrow I always look for a deal always looking for a deal and one day I got this call about this vacation in Orlando and it was about 1/3 of the price that it was going to cost and all we had to do was attend a 90 minute breakfast they were like you like to eat breakfast right I'm like yeah I like to eat breakfast it's like great well we will give you this vacation for a third of the cost if you'll just attend a 90 minute hour-and-a-half breakfast is like that's a little bit long for breakfast but okay whatever maybe it's that good I'm in well the 90 minute breakfast was a timeshare pitch basically they said we will give you this vacation for a third of the price if you will let us ruin your vacation because for that 90 minute pitch it was just me saying no no no no not interested not gonna happen no no no I don't think you're hearing me no no no and so finally the guy kind of got the the point and he said okay you know now we're about an hour and a half into me saying no and him saying okay great well I just need to go and and let my supervisor know he's gonna want to come and meet you because you know we've really never had anyone turn us down like this great go get your supervisor supervisor comes sits down basically crosses out the offerings that they were given cut it in half crosses out the price cuts it in half and says hey if we can do that would you be interested I said no no no he kept selling the the offering kept getting bigger the price kept getting smaller finally I said I caved and I said you know what I'm gonna have to think about it and and he said if you walk out that door this deal vanishes like magic it's gone right this is a tool right this is I've been to a lot of sales training Zig Ziglar Tom Hopkins I've gone through multiple sales trainings in the past and I will just tell you if you can apply pressure to somebody what you're saying is I don't want to give you time to logically think about this I want to make it I want you to make a decision right now because it benefits me I earn a commission and if you walk out the door I know the the chances of you coming back are slim right and so this is how the enemy works too sometimes he can drive you to a poor decision by trying to rush you and what do they say that if you've ever been to a timeshare pitch they always want to make sure your spouse is there so that you don't say hey I need to talk to my my wife or I need to talk to my husband they always want to make sure that you're both there and so I'm gonna give you an out for the rest of your life if you're ever pressured toward any decision you can say this you can say what you know what the first I need to consult with my god the creator the heavens there first I need to I need to consult his scriptures I need to consult the Bible I need to pray about this I don't make any decisions without searching the Bible and looking at what scriptures apply and in fact that's my next question number four is where do the Scriptures speak to this where do the Scriptures speak to this essentially I'm saying what does the Bible say what does God say of course we're the Scriptures speak to this that includes prayer and you praying through the scriptures as we've talked about before proverbs chapter 2 verse 6 says for the Lord gives wisdom from his mouth come knowledge and understanding for the Lord gives wisdom from his mouth come knowledge and understanding for some of you you're like that's intimidating because you like but I don't know the Bible so you may need to think about who can help me know what scriptures apply to this we live in the information age like we have Google at our fingertips technology and so it's never been easier to search and to find applicable verses but make sure that you're not the only one who holds the opinion that that verse is applicable like if you're like well should I buy this land and you're kind of flipping through the Gospels and you get to Matthew 13 verse 44 where says the kingdom of heaven is like a treasure in a field you and somebody saw it they sold all they had to buy that field and you're like oh look the Bible says I should buy the field that's not what it's saying that's not what that scripture is teaching I can't just tell you that early in my own journey with Christianity the greatest blessing was God placing me in a group of people who could rightly divide his word and I would ask a question and they would say hey turn here and and I love that they didn't just want to give me their opinions they wanted to give me the opinion of God the creator of the heavens and the earth so listen if you're in a life group when someone's seeking advice they're not looking for the counsel of your smart uncle you know who's a financial planner or whatever they're not looking for something that you read in Cosmopolitan magazine they want to know the opinion of God that's why they come to you and there's a healthy burden a weight that should sit on you in that to seek to seek out to search out the sacred scriptures the these ancient writings to know how to apply them to your life and the more you do that the easier it gets and what happens as you grow as a disciple because you begin to see the word is useful for teaching rebuking correcting and training and righteousness like the Word says about itself and so you learn to apply it so in your group do not say well I think well my opinion is well I just feel say this say well what scriptures speak into that you you know proverbs 3:5 and 6 says this in fact this is what proverbs 3:5 and 6 says this is the first scripture that I memorized as a Christian trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding trust in God and and the in contrast of trusting God is you leaning on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight and he will make decisions easier and he will show you the way that you are to go so where do the scriptures speak into this right the next question is why do you want to why do you want to what's your why what's your motive right a lot of the decisions that we make are self-serving this is what the proverbs says proverbs 16 verse 2 says this all the persons ways seemed pure to them but the motives your why but the motives are weighed by the Lord there's another proverb that applies to this that says oh I'm sorry I thought I had another one I'll just give them to you proverbs 25 26 proverbs 10 9 proverbs 20 verse 7 and proverbs 22 verse 1 and in fact in the scripture that you read this week in 1st Corinthians 10 verse 24 so in the Bible reading plan we've been in 1st Corinthians and in chapter 10 it says that no one seeks their own good but the good of others no one should seek their own good but the good of others and so if you're the only person who benefits from this decision you should slow down if you're the only person who benefits from this decision you should slow down because we can all be selfish and I trust myself the least when I really really really really really want something because when our desires grow so do our blind spots when we really want something like for me when I really want something I can become this master justifier this master sales been ready to convince everyone why this is best and so when I just feel my heart getting around something I slow down and I even confessed that to my group I said guys you know what I really really really really want this you don't no one gets in a wreck because they're driving down the road and they see a car to their left and they just decide to swerve into them now they get in a wreck because they're driving down the road and they wanted to switch to the left lane and they look and they don't see anybody and so they switch to the left lane but there was a car in their blind spot and here's what's true of all of us what's true of all of us is we all have blind spots right now as you sit where you're sitting watching this you have blind spots and and what's also true about all of us is none of us can see our blind spot all of us need people in our lives who love us to help us see our blind spot if you're the only one that benefits from this decision go slow the scripture says do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others more important than yourself who benefits from this decision and lastly how will God be glorified in this decision how will God be glorified in this decision proverbs 15 33 says wisdoms instruction is to fear the Lord and humility comes before honor wisdoms instruction is to fear the Lord and humility comes before honor this is actually where those proverbs go I proverbs 25 26 proverbs 10 9 2007 proverbs 22 verse 1 so how do we make decisions that glorify God this is your primary purpose for living right you live for the glory of God if it's a sin like if you're if it's not right or left but it's right or wrong like if one of the options is a sin don't go near it don't poke it don't sniff it don't smell it don't don't entertain it look at it run from it you you don't if it's if it's you know one decision or sin don't ever choose sin if it's sin or sin don't choose don't go don't pass go like just stay where you're at don't make a decision because you don't want to choose sin right Augustine I believe is the one who said love God and do whatever you want because if you love God with all your heart soul mind and strength and you love your neighbor as yourself then what he does is he's going to conform your desires to his delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart right the psalm says and soul of God and do whatever you want but live for his glory this is your purpose while your heart beats in your chest while your lungs have breath and Jesus exemplified this perfectly like he's going to go to a cross and die for our sins and he focused on the who what when where why and how who who write who should he consult in the on the Mount of Olives he goes before the Father father let this cup pass from me Luke 22 right but not my will I will be done what what are the facts the facts are that for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that this is Jesus's role he's a savior like this is what he's here to do the facts are the world is full of sinners dying in their sin desperately in need of a savior and so Jesus is here when when do you need to make a decision by Jesus now's the time when the time had fully come God sent his son born of a woman born under the law as he sat in that garden as he prayed in a level of anguish that I've never felt sweating blood he was ready to die for you and for me and where is this found in the Scriptures Genesis to Revelation is the thin red line throughout the Scriptures the gospel God getting his children back through His Son Jesus Christ where is it spoke about in the scriptures everywhere why what's his motive Hebrews 12 verse 2 for the joy set before him he endured the cross scorning his shame what's his why his motive to save you and to save me that's his why how will he glorify the father says for the father was please to allow the Sun be crushed on our behalf because he's crazy about you that God was glorified through the gospel and so in summary I hope these decisions or these questions rather can help you in your decisions who should speak into this decision what are the facts when do you need a decision where do the Scriptures speak to this why do you want to and how will God be glorified in this decision proverbs 14 verse 12 says there's a way that seems right to a person but in the end it leads to death there's a way that appears to be right but it's end in the end it leads to death and I'm telling you like no one wants to ruin their life but we're all one decision from a disaster I can tell you in some of my lowest moments in memory ministry is me sitting with someone in my office and then weeping uncontrollably asking this question how did I get here and me even thinking like looking at their situation how did you get here they were tired of being single and some guy came along and everyone said it was he was no good for them but you know what they jumped into the relationship the believers in their life jumping up and down waving their hands he's no good for you they get married and he throws her down a flight of stairs how did you get here you didn't process somebody's in a marriage they chose to go outside of that marriage into an adulterous affair and then they get caught and they're sitting there how did I get here well you you hid your actions she didn't walk in the light there was parts of your life you didn't want anyone to know so somebody's just in over their head when credit-card debt five figures a credit card debt I've seen six figures of credit card debt and they're sitting there and just just feeling completely collapsed under the weight of debt saying how did I get here one swipe at a time not processing in community going your own way not seeking counsel not asking questions not seeking help somebody in over their head in a house facing foreclosure how did I get here got excited about a house and you bought it mortgage company was happy to lend you the money just stretched your income as long as they could and here you are how did I get here right some people who were in businesses that came to ruin that facing bankruptcy they were successful they never thought it would happen but they partnered with the wrong person he thought it was a great idea it looked like it was gonna be really beneficial and they're sitting there how did I get here I had a poor process you made decisions on your own so I just appeal to you if if you believe this book then my prayer is before you make a big decision you would look at the who what when where why and how of making decisions for the rest of your life that you would apply the Proverbs again these are not my instructions these are the instructions from God through the wisest person second wisest person ever to walk the face of the earth so I pray my prayer for you is that you would apply Solomon's wisdom to your life let me pray now father we thank you just for your word that does not return void and just ask for your help that in those moments of us wanting to go our own way father would you guide us and lead us and direct us and place people in our lives that we would not hate correction God that we would not score and rebuke that that we would listen to instruction and be wise father we're so thankful for the way that you guide us and lead us and direct us help us to trust in you with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding but in all our ways God I pray that Harris Creek would acknowledge you and that you would make our paths straight that you would send us in the way of your will and that you would be glorified by the decisions we make that you would bless our decisions like crazy that you would bless them Lord in the name of Jesus amen