Planned Emancipation in Parenting Teenagers

Introduction

• Planned emancipation involves parents gradually relinquishing control over their teenagers' lives.
• Focus on training teenagers for adult life during their adolescent years.
• Dr. Ken Wilgus is a psychologist specializing in adolescent behavior.
• His book, Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, serves as a key resource.

Understanding Adolescence

• Modern adolescence is a concept developed around 100 years ago; the term "teenager" was coined in 1942.
• Historically, 13 to 18-year-olds were not seen as a problematic age group.
• Today’s culture extends childhood artificially without a clear transition to adulthood.

Key Concept: End of Childhood

• Childhood naturally ends around age 13.
• Teenagers should be viewed as very young adults.
• The parental role shifts from teaching to training.

Common Parenting Mistakes

• Using childhood parenting techniques for teenagers.
• Misunderstanding teenagers' development and independence needs.

Planned Emancipation Strategy

• Definition: An orderly, intentional withdrawal of parental control.
• Goal: Prepare teenagers for independence by the end of high school.
• Method: Gradually transfer responsibility for different aspects of life to teenagers.

Implementation of Planned Emancipation

1. Identify Areas of Control:

   • Map "occupied territories" such as friends, clothes, school, money.
   • Understand these as areas where teenagers seek independence.

2. Announce the Plan:

   • Communicate the intent to gradually retreat from these areas.
   • Reinforce the message that the teenager will grow into independence within the household.

3. Execute the Plan:

   • Implement changes in phases, every six months or annually.
   • Start with simpler responsibilities (e.g., room cleanliness at age 13).
   • Allow teenagers to choose their music, manage their time, and handle personal finances progressively.
   • Final change is typically the removal of curfews post-high school.

Communication and Discipline

• Planned emancipation fosters better communication by reducing control battles.
• Encourages open dialogue about personal choices and responsibilities.

Conclusion

• Planned emancipation shifts focus from parental control to discipline and training.
• Emphasizes preparing teenagers to become responsible adults ready for societal challenges.
• This approach is particularly emphasized in Christian households for fostering resilient faith in teenagers.

Additional Resources

• Book: Feeding the Mouth That Bites You by Dr. Ken Wilgus.
• Available through Focus on the Family, with proceeds supporting their ministry efforts.

Join us for the next session where audience questions will further explore these strategies. Support the ministry through donations and get access to valuable parenting resources.