welcome everyone I'm breakup Brad and in the next few minutes I'm going to reveal a number of proven psychological tactics that work to change your ex's mind about breaking up and convince them to give you another chance now you might call some of these things tricks or or mind games and I I suppose that is true to an extent but I'm not going to be advocating for anything downright cruel or unethical but I do promise you that these techniques do work and you should be able to put at least a couple of them into practice starting today to begin reeling your ex back into your [Music] arms all right let's let's start with a pretty simple one number one um leverage the zaric effect and open Loops so the zaric effect is the scientific term for the tendency that all humans have to to focus on unresolved or incomplete tasks thoughts or relationships basically people tend to remember unfinished tasks or incomplete experiences more vividly than completed ones and this effect creates a sense of of open Loops in the mind which can evoke you know curiosity longing or or a desire to resolve the situation so in essence you want to leave your ex feeling like things are are unfinished or or unresolved not just the the relationship itself but also individual conversations now you can do this in a couple of ways firstly you can drop the um the Cliffhanger type statements when you're talking with your ex where you hint at something important or significant but you don't finish your story or elaborate on any details so for instance you might you know send your ex a text message saying something like oh my God I just ran into our old landlord at at the store you wouldn't believe what he told me about the the crazy neighbors that lived above us remind me next time I see you and I'll tell you the whole story now of course this kind of thing this is the classic Cliffhanger you've dropped a nugget of big news something your ex is going to be curious about and want to know more but then you left it there you know not sharing any more details now obviously you need to think of something actually interesting or meaningful here you can't just make up you know some big news if you don't actually have anything news where to share it all but if you can think of something that your ex will be Keen to hear about don't just tell them the whole story the first time you get a chance hint at it drop a cliffhanger and then let them wait for a while or make them actually take the initiative to get more details out of you to create that open loop and to force your ex to think about you and wonder how the story ends now you can also do this on social media you know post a story or share a photo that that hints at some big trip you're on or a big promotion at work significant personal accomplishment in your life really anything like that but don't share the details in your post just share a a cryptic photo of you smiling and holding an award or you know staring out at a beautiful sunset view somewhere tropical or anything like that where you know your ex is going to see the post and wonder what it means and and why you didn't tell them directly or or share more info and lastly you can even use this principle to leave your your entire relationship and potential future together open-ended so for instance you know maybe your ex asks you if if you want to come and pick up your your PlayStation from their house instead of agreeing right away you could be you know a little non-committal and act like there there'll be opportunities in the near future to grab it when you do see your see your ex for some other reason again just the fact that the exchange of belongings remains an unfinished task for your ex is going to force them to focus on you and your belongings and it's often going to make them miss you and perhaps even second guess the breakup itself all right now let's move on to number two which is to lean into the scarcity principle now this one is absolutely massive and pretty much anyone hoping for a second chance with their ex should be doing this so firstly the scarcity principle is a is a psychological concept that suggests people place higher value on things that are rare limited or or difficult to obtain it's based on the idea that scarcity creates a sense of urgency or exclusivity making the scarce item or opportunity more desirable now you probably already know all about this concept it's why for example when you're booking a hotel room online the website always says you know hurry this is the last room available and it's why you know Ferrari only makes 200 or 500 of their most expensive special cars the harder something is to acquire the more rare it is the more people tend to value and want that thing so I think you know where this is going you know when you make your yourself scarce you make yourself more valuable in the eyes of your ex and honestly it really is that simple now obviously the easiest way to leverage this idea is by applying a period of no contact whether it's for a week a month or or three months simply not being available to your ex makes them think about you more often miss you far more than they would otherwise and question whether they were wrong to let you walk away see most X's will never expect you to suddenly move on after a Breakout you know they expect you to to hang around try and stay in touch maybe beg and plead a bit and agree to stay friends or hang out whenever they ask so when you make yourself scarce you upend those expectations and you force your ex to realize they might have been wrong about you and this is also the same concept that people tap into when they play you know hard to get now I don't actually generally recommend playing hard to get with your ex in the traditional sense of the term because you know you need to be careful not to go too far with this but you do need to find Opportunities to say no to your ex sometimes you need to ignore their messages occasionally or take 24 hours to call them back or decline an invite to to see them because you know you already have plans again don't take this too far you know you don't want to give the your ex the impression that you don't have any time for them anymore or frustrate them to the point where they just stop reaching out or stop trying to make plans with you but do look for good opportunities to say no to your ex and make it clear that you're not always around and that you're a you're a scarce item with other people in your life and other things going on all right Shameless plug time folks um maybe this isn't a sneaky trick well maybe it is actually but if you're worried that your ex might be slipping away and you're not 100% sure what the right strategy is to get them to re-engage and start warming up to the idea of getting back together please sign up for my extremely affordable personal coaching program at breakupbrad.com/coaching on that page you'll see all the details my current availability and you can sign up to start working with me oneon-one today as soon as you register you'll be able to send me all the details about your unique or unusual situation with your ex and we'll work out a plan to get them back while you still can again to learn more and sign up today just go to breakupbrad.com/coaching after the video all right Shameless self-promotion over let's move on to number four Leverage The Power of Positive Association now researchers have proven again and again in in countless studies that human beings are naturally hardwired to gravitate towards positive people and positivity in general this is it's an undeniable fact and whether or not you were a beacon of positivity for your ex during your time together you need to give off nothing but positive vibes now because it's going to make your ex want to be around you positive emotions strengthen the connection between you and your ex increasing the likelihood that they'll associate you with happiness comfort and fulfillment and honestly you don't need to overthink this one you just need to give off Positive Vibes in every interaction with your ex so if they ask you how you're doing you're great you know if they open a conversation be happy and upbeat and crack some jokes you know smile tell your ex something good that's happening in your life or compliment and speak highly of friends or colleagues and don't let your ex ever drag you into any drama or arguments you know take the high road find a way out while while staying upbeat and it's critical that you try your best to avoid being negative about others or about your life generally even if that's how you're really feeling deep inside I often recommend to my coaching clients that they try and see every interaction from their ex's perspective so if you met up for coffee to catch up how did they feel when you said your goodbyes you know did they have fun did they feel your warmth and positive energy did you both smile and and laugh throughout the conversation because if the answer to all those questions is yes then there's an extremely high likelihood that your ex will want to see you again soon and remember remember the goal is to get your ex to associate the thought of you with feelings of of positivity kindness happiness safety and and acceptance and the more you can make your ex feel good about themselves the you know about how you're doing about the conversations you have the more likely it is that they'll want to find ways to spend more time together which is your window to officially getting them back okay and number five create a sense of fomo for your ex fomo as I'm I'm sure you're already aware stands for fear of missing out and it's a pretty powerful psychological phenomenon especially in this day and age I'm sure you've seen friends post photos on Instagram of a crazy party they went to or an amazing travel adventure and I'm also sure you know you felt a bit of fomo knowing that you weren't there to experience it yourself and not only that you know the next time that person invites you out to something you're more likely to join them having felt like you missed out on their their past Adventures now you can induce this sort of feeling inside your ex's mind pretty easily really all you have to do is showcase to the world that you're you're living the best life possible of course you can do this by showing off some pictures or videos on your Instagram Tik Tok Snapchat whatever no need to plan anything extravagant like a a trip to the malds you know you can just post anything that you know your ex would enjoy doing or would have wanted to be part of and don't go overboard here just make it natural and and feel free to tag some friends in your poster story too another option is is just to share short anecdotes or stories with your ex in person when you see them so you could just mention how you know you were at this crazy music festival last weekend or you know you just got back from a week hiking in the mountains or something like that just during the course of your conversation and like we talked about earlier with the the zarnick effect it's ideal if you can just mention this kind of thing casually in passing without offering any additional details so your ex has to ask for more info or leave wondering you know who you were with and how you were able to do something so fun without them once your ex sees how much fun you're having how how many cool things you're doing or how busy you are living your best life that's going to do some serious fomo in the back of their mind and they may soon be reaching out to you to see if they can join your your next adventure or trip or whatever and yes you know I realize this sounds dumb and cheesy on the surface but if you can do this right it will have an effect on your ex even if they'd never admit it and number six use the positive Nostalgia effect I actually just covered this in another recent video here on this channel but basically psychology researchers have shown that reminiscing about happy moments shared together with somebody can trigger fond memories and rekindle feelings of closeness so when those positive experiences are subtly reintroduced through you know shared photos or anecdotes places you visited together and so on they can activate the reward center in the brain that's associated with good memories making your ex more likely to remember the relationship favorably and potentially miss it it also helps them to focus on those those good times and those happy memories rather than fixating on the problems that led to your breakup or or you're less attractive traits so essentially bring up happy memories positive shared experiences for example you could send your ex a photo of an idealic hotel room where you spent a steamy night together or bring up an old inside joke that both made you laugh like crazy back when you were together and it honestly doesn't really matter what it is as long as it's something positive and your ex will remember it fondly it's going to help shape their subconscious perception of you and shift their focus onto the positives and finally we have number seven mirror your ex's Behavior behavior and this is another one that I actually made an entire video on recently so click the popup in the corner here or the link in the description below for more details to sum it up though mirroring is about connecting with another person by by subtly mimicking them not just by paring their actions or tone of voice but also their their overall attitude their Outlook and their mannerisms you want your ex to to feel heard validated and and connected to you and you do this by letting them set the pace respecting their boundaries and matching their energy so first of all you want to mirror their frequency of communication at least to some extent so if your ex is texting you or calling you daily well that's a green light for you to sometimes initiate conversations or invite them to hang out but on the other hand if your ex is ghosting you or rarely opens a conversation then you want to mirror that by respecting their boundaries and giving them space by only rarely reaching out if you match their their distance and the way that they treat you you'll actually start to create some some equality in the relationship you'll show them that they're not the one in control and you'll gain back some of the respect that you that you probably lost around the breakout you also want to mirror your ex's energy levels even when you're just you know chatting by text so if they send short messages then reply with short messages if they take an hour between messages then you take 90 minutes to respond and this this might feel like playing games but it really does work it's simple psychology when you treat your ex the way that they treat you you put them at ease they because we're always more comfortable in a conversation where the other person is giving back what we're offering you know we can act natural relaxed and that's what you want you want your ex to be relaxed and then there's what I call Micro mirroring where you can do things like just subtly echoing things that your ex is saying when you're chatting with them in person now an easy way to do this is actually just by sometimes repeating the last few words of a sentence that they just said so if your ex finishes a story by saying you know and she didn't even care that her car was wrecked then you start your response to that by saying she didn't even care her our car was wrecked unreal another microm mirring technique and perhaps the most effective is to mirror your ex's body language so look at how they're holding their body you know are they closed off you know arms closed shoulders up feet pointed away from you are they casual distracted intense it's not always easy to tell but if you can match their body language it's going to actually cause you to actually feel their emotions a little that's a great way to for you to to feel connected to one another and that of course further puts your exites and it demonstrates that you are compatible now just one caveat about mirroring um you only ever want to mirror the positive things that your ex is doing or saying mirror things that will bring the two of you closer together so if they're giving off very cold and indifferent body language being overly negative or cynical don't do that don't mirror that just subtly mirror the positive things and you're going to help to alleviate their anxiety and break down some walls um and you're going to reconnect and hopefully eventually get back together there you have it ladies and gentlemen seven sneaky tactics that are all proven to improve your chances at getting your ex to take you back and please while I know that some of these sound silly or corny on the surface I've seen them all work over and over again for my past coaching clients maybe not all of them are going to be suitable for your current situation or your ex but I'm confident that at least a few of them will help you change your ex's mind and get them to start considering getting back together and again if you want my personal help with your situation just visit breakupbrad.com/coaching and sign up so we can work out a plan together to make sure you do win them back and if you just have a quick question or some feedback drop a comment below I read every single one of them and reply to as many as I can if you like And subscribe before you leave your comment then I'm even more likely to respond thanks so much for your support and good luck guys see you again soon [Music]