would you excuse us please I'm Dr house it's good to meet you you're being an idiot you have a tap worm in your brain it's not pleasant but if we don't do anything you'll be dead by the weekend have you actually seen the war when you're all better I'll show you my diplomas you were sure I had vasculitis too now I can't walk and I'm wearing a diaper what's this treatment going to do for me I'm not talking about a treatment I'm talking about a cure but because I might be wrong you want to die what made you a [ __ ] I had an infarction a heart attack it's what happens when the blood flow is obstructed it's in the heart it's a heart attack if it's in the lungs it's a pulmonary embolism it's in the brain it's a stroke I had in my thigh muscles wasn't there something they could do there's plenty they could do they made the right diagnosis but the only symptom was pain not many people get to experience muscle death did you think you were dying I hoped I was dying so you hide in your office refuse to see patience because you don't like the way people look at you you feel cheated by life so now you're going to get even with the world you want me to fight this why what makes you think I'm so much better than you when you're scared you'll turn into me I just want to die with little dign there's no such thing our bodies break down sometimes when we're 90 sometimes before we're even born but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it I don't care if you can walk see wipe your own ass it's always ugly always we can live with dignity we can't die with [Music] it margins are fine lesions color is good how long have you been having night terrors 3 weeks he afraid to go to bed it's exhausted can barely function what does that tell you nothing it's just fun watching him blink name as many animals as you can that begin with the letter B go baby elephant baby elephant is actually a good answer B is a be of a letter what does that time proves two things no neurological damage and your son is never going to be Chief fry cook in teens there are two likely causes of Night Terrors post-traumatic stress any recent shootouts at your high school no well then Dave Dan if there's no trauma the other cause is sexual abuse so who's molesting you teacher extra friendly neighbor I'd ask if either of you were involved but you'd deny it no we would never do anything to hurt Dan I say it here it comes out there this lack of response is consistent with abuse there's no one okay I I swear there was trauma I got hit in the head during a lacrosse game did you know that he got hit in the head they didn't mention it no yeah why bother no no we took him to to the ER after the game he was scanned they tested him he said he was fine no concussion it's got to be something else you hound me for my opinion and then you question my diagnosis cool ER obviously screwed up kids got a concussion I had double vision before I was hit well that changes everything you need glasses that's why you had double vision which is why you got hit which is why you have a concussion which is why you have night terrors you need to see an opthalmologist which I am not you enjoyed that I brought a reasonable case to your attention and you shoved it in my face just to humiliate you're an only child aren't you why would you say that because everything is about you this may seem incredibly controversial but I think sexual abuse is bad I just wanted to make sure he wasn't being diddled by Daddy or Mommy anything else is just a [Music] bonus I'm not an only child interesting what don't move did I bore you in there what um no not not really are you tired sometimes he never sleeps of course he's tired right now at this moment are you tired that Twitch in your leg did you feel that didn't hurt his leg twitched I don't see what it's called a myoclonic jerk it's very common when you're falling asleep respiration rate Falls and the brain sometimes interprets this as the body dying so it sends a pulse to wake it up so so he's not asleep he's awake admit him where's he going hey how you all doing interesting fact every seven years it's a whole new you inspiring metaphor huh Dr House this is a clean room yeah I read the sign the cells of different organs reprod reduce at different rates so you get a new kidney every 3 years get a new stomach lining every week this is why culine poisoning causes all these symptoms but not all at once so we went to the pharmacy we saw the pills cine does its damage in a very specific order first of all there's the pain in the abdomen the rash the fever isn't that what you got first then the kidneys go which is exactly what happened to Brandon right and it screws up your bone marrow and then neuropathy painful tingling in the fingers and toes what do you suppose happens after that hair loss the bad news is your special boy is doing drugs no he's not ecstasy no twice with t and Mike you know what they cut that stuff with apparently cine unless you ingested the cine through your contact lens solution or skin cream or some other drug you're lying about I don't know how it happened I don't care how it happened it happened start um Brandon lovely a start Brandon on Fab fragments and get him some Tylenol for the hair I pulled out and get some air in here make a note I should never doubt myself I think you'll remember you know wouldn't hurt you to be wrong every now and then what you don't care about these people exhibit a baby girl heartache turn baby 42 hours old went into seizure 6 hours ago brought into the Intensive Care diagnosed with obstruction of the small bowel I'm still amazed you're actually in the same room with a patient people don't bug me until they get teeth exhibit B baby boy house another term baby 48 Hours old brought into the niku 3 hours before the heartache baby fever of unknown origy 101 degrees trending upwards wow that is amazing you hung out in the OBGYN Lounge all morning and heard about two sick babies it's Eerie don't touch that all right we have an infection spreading in the hospital these kids have totally unrelated illnesses they fell sick within 4 hours of each other they had the same delivery rooms maternity rooms in neighboring so Transmissions possible they have the same symptoms the Hearted Girl has a bowel obstruction no matter how close their beds are I'm pretty sure kids can't share blockage what does vowel obstruction on a chart indicate Well normally I'd say it indicates a patient's bowel is obstructed but I'm pretty sure you have some deeper truth to impart it means that some random doctor of indeterminate skill thinks that the patient's bowel is obstructed okay you're upset because they threw you out of their Lounge look at the X-ray it's a normal gas pattern you want get to a key to the oncology air in the colon we're getting if it's air no bow obstruction even if it is air it could have been there before the obstruction no something's infected both these infants get up we're going hunting for what [Music] weapons hi bye he's screaming he's [Music] [Applause] fine good looking baby hi I'm Dr House what seems to be the problem show them your hands Augustine it looks like Stigmata Pi must be all a talk around the holy water cooler you're washing a lot of dishes recently I help out in the kitchen kitchen anything new in the kitchen we just got a donation of saucepans and pots this week I unpacked and washed them should have spent your time saving Souls it's easier on the hands this is contact dermatitis you're allergic to dish soap nonsense we've always used that soap why is there a problem now I've been a doctor for years why do I have to keep assuring people that I know what I'm doing a person can become allergic to substances that they've had repeated and prolonged exposure to the good news is free samples Dien hydramine it's an antihistamine it'll stop the allergic reaction take one every 8 hours it might make you feel a little sleepy and get some of that over the- counter cortisone cream thank you Doctor you want some water I have some tea well you just relax for a few minutes stuff works pretty fast still out by 12 how do you solve a problem like dermatitis what doctor I want to thank you for your patience is she talking to you I don't know she's certainly looking at me oh it's good to get a secular diagnosis the sisters tend to interpret their illnesses as divine intervention and you don't and you're wearing an awfully funny hat boy excuse me if I break my leg I believe it happened for a reason I believe God wanted me to break my leg I also believe he wants me to put a cast on it doctor something's [Music] wrong lift up your chin sister you're having an asthma attack I need you to relax hold up her sleeve please give you epinephrine open your lungs and help you breathe what happened did she take the pill yes it's probably an allergic reaction she's allergic to an anti-allergy medicine figure somebody's out to get her how are you feeling better I'll put you on some steroids instead is my heart supposed to be feeling so funny it's called adrenaline makes your heartbeat fast but not this fast get a nurse please help somebody help us somebody get in here call a code and charge up the D for brilliant she's got no [Music] pulse Mom this is Dr GRE Gregory House nice to meet you it' be all right if we spoke alone for a while oh well uh you're going to need me to got your case notes doctor there's a cafeteria downstairs get yourself whatever you want as long as there's enough left over for a Reuben sandwich dry no fries hold the pickles should run you about 580 with tax I'll page you when we're done no pickles nice kid how much do you really drink he's really talking to a patient I don't know who I am anymore it's a blood clot what's so fascinating about that he likes crazy people likes the way they think they think badly that's the definition of crazy why would he like not boring he likes that and the meds baseball I like baseball very nice very sad my boy and me we went to see a game not meds meds medicine you take what he tells you to take No One Believes Me I do I thought he liked rationality he likes puzzles patience of puzzles you don't think so I think they're people yeah well he hates hat them and he's fascinated by them tell me you can't relate to that sentiment you told Luke it never hurt before just rough they didn't hurt [Music] didn't don't lie to him limy Lively Lucy never lies to Lucas look what I do to him radiation therapist tocology radiation therapist learn anything from the human connection yeah the Mets suck also for the last two months she hasn't shaved her legs because of the Tremors she cuts herself the Tremors aren't new she must always cut herself exactly something changed in the last two months I'm thinking the amount of blood when she cut herself so let's start with some blood work collect and send for clotting studies PT PT Factor 5 protein CNS the whole shebang good luck no pickles and it's cold now if it's a Reuben that's the way he likes it everyone this is Luke Alon Cameron it's nice to finally meet you yeah yeah save it we're busy Luke give us another half hour with your mom we need to do some tests nice kid what are you doing checking for lymphadenopathy I'm waiting for you who are you I'm Dr House your wife has human African tranos amasis sleeping sickness you mean it's not t Remia a virus tumor or or cancer [Applause] no I've never had an affair I believe you and I trust the leise the treatment for this disease is a drug that's fatal on its own 10% of the time which is why I need your written consent before I can legally prescribe it why would she lie if she knew it could kill her I don't ask why patients lie I just assume they all do but why to protect you because she didn't think it matter it just seemed easier because that's what people do if you're absolutely certain that your wife has never had sex with anyone but you since you were married then I'm wrong but if you think there's a possibility that just one time she wasn't perfect one weekend you're out of town one fight where she ran to a friend one stupid Christmas party then you need to allow me to start treatment because if we don't she's going to be dead by tomorrow morning you trust your wife that much I don't know I'll start the treatment goodbye I Margot Davis have been informed of the risks which may arise from my refusal to advise medical care I hereby release are you I work for the hospital the Princeton Plainsboro teaching hospital and its employees agents and otherwise from any adverse medical conditions resulting from my refusal it is not the hospital's fault if my son kicks off kicks off I punched up the language mostly for clarification I understand my doctors consider my decision to be completely idiotic why are you doing this but I am convinced I know more than they do I took a biology course in high school I I assume that's yeah besides I enjoy controlling every single aspect of my son's life even if it means his death sign here please I brought a pen who are you I'm the Doctor Who's trying to save your son you're the mom who's letting him die clarification it's a beautiful thing [Music] his sats are in the 70s how long's he been like this 10 minutes why AR you the IVIG put him in respiratory fair you put him on the IVIG we did this so Undo It Chase it's too late we killed him nobody killed him he's not dead Chase intubate him he's staying [Music] on [Music] what are you [Music] doing you can't do this bag you can't do this [Music] bag he had a bad reaction to some medicine we gave him what did you just do he saved his [Music] life the good news is the heart rate thing is not connected to her condition well then she's dying cuz the menitis treatment isn't helping her she's getting worse well that brings us to the bad news the cop tasered her jerk probably couldn't get to his real gun fast enough first time he hit her in the thigh and she just kept going like it was nothing right about here she feel the [Music] taser localized numbness yeah in that one spot for diabetes I don't think so well no alcohol not entrapment syndrome can't be a vitamin deficiency and we can't chase down every sensory or apathy is that where she bit you yeah what the hell can't get angry if you don't feel [Music] anything stop the gases what the hell are you doing house saving a 16-year-old kid from a lifetime of imos supressing drugs and a very nasty scar this kid doesn't have lupoid hepatitis he has acute napoline toxicity napoline you you're talking about moth balls NOP termites they create napoline to protect their nest which I'm assuming is rather large and inside all four walls of his bedroom and home and your assumption is based on what the autopsy I just conducted on his pet cat cuty and security you are not removing that kid's liver now have you completely lost your mind no but I have been feeling a little sick lately you there's no way we can do the surgery now you think hi I'm Dr house and this is the coolest day of my life see steroid use shrinks the testicles I'm clean man no steroids no nothing your lips say no your prunes say yes hypogonadism isn't that a great word thanks we don't get to say it nearly enough start him on Lupron right away these freaks are willing to defile themselves from Mass entertainment for money I feel sorry for them he drops a clean urine denies using steroids then you're giving him a drug for what steroid abuse no no it's not no it's got calcium in it it's very good for the bones basically at a molecular level it's it's just milk anthes how long you figure before I get a call from Cy are you being funny apparently not you know why I give money to this hospital it's the only way to get attention see this is this a magic trick cuz I am a total David Copperfield fan although I thought that tornado fire that seemed a little pain in the wrist it won't go away for months six doctors brilliant conclusion is to take it easy I write a check name goes on a plaque and 48 hours later I've got two MRIs a bone scan and a diagnosis carpal tunnel I'm in surgery that afternoon fascinating story you thought of adapting it for the stage I love my look at me I love my son I love him more than anything else in the world and you're going to start paying attention to this case or I'm going to make things Miser go back to your son's I'm not leaving here until you get your ass's a problem your Dr house I found a picture online of you at a conf you need a heart transplant I run I work out you cut yourself probably highly ritualized you play the same ceremon M clockin song over and over while you do it probably works better than anti-depressants I don't understand how that you're a high powerered bmic you make yourself throw up you had to find the most efficient way to vomit without revealing the telltale signs of bulimia it's all very unseemly for CEO so you found a common antidote to Accidental poisoning to do the job aicac which is great if your kids just swallowed a bottle aspirin but really really bad if it's a habit causes muscle damage cause the pain in your leg and destroyed your heart how often do you do it three times a week in about an hour there's going to be an emergency meeting of the transplant committee to discuss where you fall on a list should a new heart become available problem is I am required to tell a committee about your bulimia it's a major psychiatric condition ranks right up there with suicidal makes you a very bad risk so you're here to tell me I have just a few hours to live unless I lie to the committee but if they find out I lose my medical license this would be a very good time to offer me a bribe you know how much is your life worth how much is my job worth why are you here doing this to me what do you want I want to know what's right am I worth it you think I'm pathetic has a good job everything in the world but she just doesn't like the way that she look oh stop hiding I'm asking you if you want to live or die you can't even say that what do you want me to do cry yes I want you to tell me that your life is important to you because I don't know because that's what's on the table right now your [Music] life [Music] [Music] I don't want to die I [Music] don't [Music] he's really out of it [Applause] huh causes of coma metabolic structural he had his stomach pumped why would they do that we're allow poisoning huh not typical first guest no first guest was faking patients a federal witness reluctant Assuming he's also an eight on glasgo Coma Scale it's barely alive pretty tough to fake any recent history of head trauma bad car accident fall they tell me no but do an MRI to be sure metabolic causes liver kidney diabetes check for everything feds are paying we're going to turn a profit on this one boys Dr House Bill arnello I'm a lawyer I represent Mr Smith what's wrong with him do I come to you with my problems he's also my brother what you changed your name Smith wasn't good enough for you his name's Joey he's my only brother he's important to you got it so no placebos for him we'll use the real medicine well this was fun let's do it again soon brother in the mafia so just Joey I was hoping for a nickname Joey mango Joey the wrench people know where I am I want you to do your job diagnose them fix them and keep them here we're a bit of a Specialized Hospital we generally only deal with patients while they're actually sick if you release my brother to the government he does what they want even if you fix him he's dead I need time to convince him of [Music] that good news is if you screw up you don't have to worry about a malpractice suit instead one by one I'll take away the things you love till there's nothing left so on the mafia thing that's a yes she sated Mr Sims don't worry hypoglycemia can cause temporary psychosis and is a common complication during an HC procedure I never wanted it done in the first place we understand you're upset but we you were supposed to be monitoring her condition but instead you were bickering and placing bets I apologize if it looked like we weren't devoting our full attention to your daughter but I assure you that we oh please save your pathetic insincerity for your boyfriend you're wrong she is in fact pathetically sincere and they didn't screw it up who are you I'm from the lab the blood test show your daughter was not hypoglycemic which means her psychosis wasn't caused by anything these doctors did so then what was it caused by I have no idea but you'll be happy to hear it cannot be cured by diet or [Music] exercise I appreciate you're keeping the media away we're keeping your staff away as well should take it easy now I'm in the middle of a campaign the faster we can get you better the faster you can get out of here anyone else at the fundraiser get sick I don't think so and I don't think that's it I mean I've been under the weather for weeks you know lots of traveling I'm supposed to be in the Sudan next week oh helps me concentrate okay better than drugs open your mouth please ah it's quite a scar when I was six I um fell off the swing and bit my tongue couldn't talk right for the longest time lots of teasing you know it just made me fight harder speak up for those who can't yeah yeah yeah tongues heal too fast your political Consultants have written you a nice story and a tight the lispers alone could put you over the top you uh a Republican or you just hate all politicians I just find being forced to sit through driel annoying you find sincerity annoying you're a black kid from the ghetto who made it to Yale law in the United States Senate that's a sufficiently mythical story you don't need to lie about your tongue must have missed it what's wrong what is it it's not the food it's your brain get an MRI and a lumbar puncture cancel your travel [Music] plans angiogenesis inhibitors prevent the tumors from creating blood vessels without blood the tumor starves that sounds great what about the baby the treatment would be fatal to the baby I've scheduled a C-section for this afternoon no it's in the trial phase right now but so far complete remission in more than 30% of subjects I told Dr Foreman I didn't want to csection when your chances of living were less than a third of what they are now well if the baby is premature then our Pediatrics department has the best new naal ICU in the state no his lungs his brain he's not ready and he could be fine you don't know what it's like raising a sick child his odds are much better than yours are you have to let them at least try this talk to her okay leave the room okay how long have you been taking oxybutinin uh since I was about 20 Inc countenance is pretty uncommon in a woman of your age it's even more bizarre in a woman in her 20s I guess I haven't had the best luck when it comes to my health seems that way you said to your husband you don't know what it's like raising a sick child you didn't say you don't know what it would be like this is not your first child is it and he doesn't [Music] know I was 18 I got pregnant got married believe the most beautiful little girl Grace she had infantile Alexander's disease I'm sorry two years we watched her die my husband was a my first husband was a a a great guy but after that I couldn't even look at him without thinking of her I left him I left my job I left everything very moving story explains why you're being so selfish I'm willing to die to protect my husband because it's what you want your husband wants you to live wait he doesn't understand oh who the hell does tragedies happen you think that turning yourself into a disposable incubator for a few weeks he's going to protect your baby from all the crap in this world go ahead die happy I got no problem with people killing themselves but don't think it makes you a [Music] hero okay you're scheduled for 400 p.m. Yow fever does that mean I have it you have a rash come on it's for my new bathing suit I've had it a week yeah do your neck hurt it does you get the trifecta it's nothing I pulled it trying to do a three and a half talk where are your parents we live in Chicago I'm here with my coach I wanted to see what you were writing go like this not like this [Music] damn it I'm sorry I'm sorry who the hell walks around with an open urine sample I'm sorry I didn't uh I didn't you think that was a bit of an overreaction well he peed on me not into that it's Apple Juice I go find that guy and apologize one more patient complaint and you're looking at a suspension I forgive you for ruining my jacket look you seem like a regular kind of guy not the type to get another regular guy into trouble am I right 20 bucks cash if you'll stop crying forgive me yell at me give me something I can work with Okay game's over you two make nice get a wheelchair get this guy into the ER what happened right pupils blown holy you gave the the guy a stroke did you hike to the fence and how far yes it's about a half a mile from my farmhouse and where is the pain localized it started just above my ankle and it's radiating up so what should we do first family history indicative of leg pain it's a very short list any history of bone cancer osteogenesis imperfecta or multiple Myoma could be a blood issue we should run a CBC and a d dier and get an MRI MRI or a pet scan if the problem's vascular he's better sorry thanks for playing patient's dead you killed him we had no time to run any test there was nothing we could do you had time to look at the [Music] leg I thought we were starting with the farmer's case first we are but if we're going to look at a leg what's going on hey hi I'm Greg house you must be mad Mark Mark where don't get up sorry parent cces he wow Greg house yeah wow no I haven't been avoiding you I just didn't want to waste your time the other doctors check me out I said it was just stress College SE some kids parents are all over me makes sense to me Greg what do you want me to do you said youd check him out he says he's healthy what's to check out sorry for the mixup but I'm glad you two got a chance to catch up looks like you're having fun oh he's good you can fake sincerity you can fake pretty much anything I can't tell you how much I like your fella yeah me too you know I thought you'd be all sarcastic bitter you know because Stacy married me you know we should do things together maybe throw a ball around or something guys stuff we could go for a run together yeah it's Oscar wild wow this pissing contest is really turning me on he needs to go to the hospital here's to women can't live with them you can't kill them tell the neighbors they're stripping in Atlantic City damn straight I'm definitely taller I have more hair and I think that oh Mark oh someone call 911 for a wagon to Princeton Plainsboro what happened it's okay ladies and gentlemen nothing to worry about unless you had the ve you doed him I told you i' check him out I was a little worried they were going to get here before he passed out it would have been tougher to get into drink do a ride we can [Music] talk checking up with me I like all the pretty lights yeah okay here we go your full name Mark Warner is your mother living no limic systems intact okay say you find a stamped envelope on the street what do you do find a mailbox and mail it jeez what a guy his front lobe is working way better than mine you remember when you got married 3 years ago this July who is that what could be a problem with his long-term memory big church wedding is that house you remember his voices this serves no diagnostic purpose I thought you skied on the limic system there emotional reactions I just want to be thorough did the atheistic bride wear pretty white dress what she thinking of you is that what you medically need to know what jewelry did your bride wear she never wears any jewelry except that cross her mother gave to her no underwear either at least not that day I remember cuz she ripped her pretty white dress off in the car that the sort of answer you're looking for doctor I think I upset him you got to stop this now I remember the honeymoon was in Paris I remember cuz we didn't leave the room for 2 weeks you want the details on that little defensive it's not paranoia if someone's out to get [Music] [Music] [Music] you