Charisma the word often brings to mind the outgoing loud and smooth talking to be charismatic you're the life of the party talking to everyone with ease and excitement the one everyone gathers around while you tell stories and keep people on the edge of their seats but no this is not true in fact this is a stereotype that has kept those of us who are stereotypically shy or quiet from truly shining in Social settings what Charisma is is about impact it's about how your presence resonates with others even when you're not speaking people talk to you and feel at ease content in your company you command a conversation and enter relationships with ease and quiet confidence so can you have Charisma even when you're quiet absolutely and here's how part one why the world needs more quiet American Author Susan Kain wrote a book called quiet which detailed the power introverts have in a world that can't stop talking she writes about the unlikely superpower that quiet people have they're naturally equipped with traits that make them great communicators introverts are the best at Deep listening and thoughtful responses in fact it's in the name introverts look Inward and spend a lot of time in their head and this is a great thing it means they're extra aware of the finer details bringing new ideas and perspectives it can be very easy to look at the negative parts of being quiet and try to change them but what's most important is to work with rather than against yourself being quiet shy or introverted is not a bad thing it doesn't make you difficult to get along with or awkward in social situations you just need to learn how to use it to your advantage part two The Power of quiet influence let's think of someone like Barack Obama he often pauses before he speaks allowing his words to settle into silence before emerging with thoughtful Clarity this is his quiet influence the way he creates meaning and impact in his speech study from Harvard show that moments of Silence during speech create anticipation and engagement the brain interprets these pauses as moments of reflection and authority and this is where the less is more principle comes in your words carry more weight when they're intentional so fewer carefully chosen words can be better for getting your message across let's take a look at another example of this actor keano Reeves when being interviewed keano doesn't rush through his answers takes his time and his measured humble responses draw people in this shows us that being likable and charismatic doesn't mean saying a lot it means being yourself and saying what matters most to you part three practical tools for boosting Charisma so we've explained why being quiet actually makes you great in a conversation but we've not touched on the how so let's get into some practical tips on how to become a confident charismatic conversationalist in any social setting number one active listening one of the most most underrated forms of Charisma is being a great listener active listening isn't just about nodding along it's about showing genuine interest in the speaker when people feel truly heard they naturally want to hear what you have to say in return research from Harvard Business Review showed that leaders who listen actively Inspire loyalty and Trust in the people they speak to this means that conversations and communication are rarely ever One Way number two mastering social cues charismatic people read the room effortlessly they when to step in and when to hold back this awareness comes from understanding social cues in the form of body language tone of voice and even the unspoken energy of a group one easy way of doing this is through the subtle art of mirroring another person's body language and how this can create subconscious Connections in fact research from Princeton University shows that people who mirror gestures and postures are more likable and appear more trustworthy to other people number three thoughtful conversation starting thoughtful conversations doesn't have to mean delving into deep groundbreaking topics it's about engaging in a way that shows you value substance over small talk try sharing an observation or a question about someone that digs a little deeper than surface level you might end up creating a great Bond author Robert chalini founded the liking principle which plays a huge role in Charisma one part of this theory is that people are naturally drawn to those who genuinely show interest in them your thoughtful questions about other people create a good rapport part four body body language and gestures now body language is more important than you think it's often the first impression we get from someone as someone who is more introverted and quiet using body language and gestures to your advantage can be incredibly useful the key to body language is to be open and confident making sure you're standing up straight and facing the person you're talking to is a great start but there are other small quirks you can use using hand gestures to accompany what you're saying is often a great way to add enthusiasm or flare to what you're saying a relaxed posture with shoulders down while keeping your head up conveys presence without saying a word keep your feet firmly planted on the ground and try not to move around too much you'll appear stable calm and composed part five the power of Storytelling and reliability another subtle yet powerful tool you can use in social situations is storytelling you don't need to have a loud and dramatic voice to tell a good story or to share a few thoughts that relate to other people instead you can focus on making your story relatable genuine or even funny when you share experiences or anecdotes it gives people a window into who you are and this allows them to connect with you on a deeper level Neuroscience Studies have even found that stories activate parts of our brain associated with sensory experiences making what you say more memorable if the idea of Storytelling or being the center of attention fills you with Dread try using small personal stories or anecdotes that relate to the conversation you can weave in your insights without dominating the dialogue for example when you're in a discussion sharing a short story that reflects your experience this can help make others empathize with you you could share something about your pets Hobbies family or even something as small as something you saw earlier that day this kind of Storytelling reinforces the liking principle when people feel they understand you or can see a bit of themselves in your story they feel more inclined to listen and trust you sometimes you just have to do it for those who experience social anxiety a state of heightened worry and aversion to socializing exposure therapy can be transformative exposure therapy is a technique mainly used in the treatment of phobias whereby the individual is exposed gradually to a stimulus this results in the person gaining a sense of ease and often developing skills in handling the situation they're exposed to gradually placing yourself in mildly challenging social situations helps build resilience over time you can start small by speaking up in familiar groups and progressively challenging yourself with larger less familiar audiences in conclusion building quiet charisma isn't about trying to be someone you're not it's about leaning into your strengths listening deeply responding thoughtfully and embracing your power by recognizing your different skills and strengths as a quiet person you can start to use them to your advantage and build confidence some of the world's most interesting confident and charismatic people are just as quiet as you remember to try active listening look out for social cues engage in thoughtful conversations and use your body language to your advantage and last but not least practice makes perfect got any other tips comment down below and help each other out besides that guys stay tuned