[Music] hey welcome to the Maxwell leadership podcast this is our podcast that is committed to you and our commitment is is we're going to do our best to add value to you as a leader we want you thinking like an influencer like a leader so you will multiply value to others my name is Mark Cole and today John Maxwell is going to share four thoughts that that should Inspire that it will inspire that I believe that it will make a difference in the strength and the resilience in your leadership in fact as I was listening to this lesson just a few minutes ago I I imagine the gift of John Maxwell I imagine this 77y year young leader that has committed 50 years of his life to learning studying improving and communicating leadership and I just imagined him right here at Christmas time pulling me beside him around a campfire and saying Mark let me give you four things that 50 years has taught me let me share with you four things that will strengthen you and give you resilience if you will allow it so perhaps today whether you're watching Tracy and I by YouTube or or whether you're listening as you're running and doing your exercising if you will just visualize getting to pull up a chair beside the fire and have John Maxwell after 50 plus years offer some advice on how to strengthen and how to encourage resilience in your life and Leadership you're going to be impacted after John's lesson my co-host Tracy marrow and I will give you practical ways that you can apply this lesson to both life and to your passion to lead more effectively if you would like to download the free bonus resource for this episode or even watch us on YouTube visit Maxwell podcast.com reses ilent also stay till the end for an exclusive offer just for you our listeners and viewers now here we go pull up a chair here's John Maxwell I'd like to give you I don't know I've got three or four what I call strength statements and a strength statement is just a statement that if I give it to you and teach it for a moment it'll give you strength it'll be almost like a vitamin it it'll give you energy boost that'll just help you to lead during you know some difficult hours so let me give them to you and uh and see if it doesn't help you for example strength statement number one I want to give to you today is this just because you're uh struggling doesn't mean you're failing and I think that's a very important statement to to make because I think a lot of people when they're struggling and we all struggle especially during difficult times during adversity we're not always winning we're sometimes in the ditch and I think sometimes people will think well because I'm struggling I I'm failing and that's not true at all all of a struggle but but let me just tell you that you see when I'm struggling when I'm fighting I'm getting back up and I'm never down I'm always up or getting up when I'm struggling I'm still in the game now when I'm giving up I'm getting out of the game and there's a world of difference between those two you see I've never known a person to quit their way to the top it it just doesn't happen I've known a lot of people who struggled their way to the top very successful struggled all the way but they got there wasn't easy wasn't fast but they stayed in the game but the moment that you and I quit now we've got a a failure that can't be repaired we we're we're out out of the game so I think that's a I think that's a real good shot in the arm for you that just because you're struggling doesn't mean that you're failing uh all great works and all great successes are a result of of struggle you remember everything worthwhile is uphill which brings me to the second statement that I want to make to you this is another great strength statement and that is everything worthwhile is uphill I have a wonderful friend Art Williams and Art Williams has a statement that I pass on to you right now that'll just put wind uh Beneath Your Wings I promise you and here's here's what art art says he said I I don't promise you that it will get easier I do promise you that it'll be worthwhile and art told me he built his company and and the people that he brought on his team he said now you have to understand something if you're going to build a great business I I'm not promising you this is going to be easy I'm not going to promise you this is going to be quick I'm not going to promise you that this is going to be even natural for you so I can't promise you those things those are fake promises what I can promise you Art Williams would say is very simple I can promise you it's worthwhile you see when you think of everything being uphill do you know what's at the end of that hill all of your dreams all of your hopes all of your desires and if you've built a business it's uphill all the way if you've got a great relationship with your spouse or with friends it's uphill all the way it's always uphill it's always uphill and so I want you to know that struggling is uphill coasting is downhill so when somebody says well man it's just not difficult it's very easy and I don't have to work at it they're going downhill everything worthwhile is uphill let let me give you another strength statement this is one by Margaret Thatcher who was the great prime minister for many years at at at Great Britain her statement was this you may have to fight the battle more than once to win it I love that because I think that there are times when we think all right I I I fought that and I won now I can get on with my life only to find that the battle comes back that the problem pops back up that the adversity surround us us one more time and and and Margaret Thatcher was right when she said you just sometimes have to fight a battle more than one time to be able to win it but I want I want you to know that you just have to keep fighting the battle let me give you an example I I've written more material on leadership than any man that's ever lived in the history of the world but let me tell you a story I wrote 27 books before I ever had a book made make the best seller list 27 27 books that never got recognized 27 books that a lot of people never bought 27 books that stayed on bookshelves or in some kind of a backro supply office 27 books before I ever got a bestseller now 35 million books later people say oh my gosh it's just amazing that you write in books just sell a lot of copies not really again I wish you could have been with me in the beginning I had to go through 20 what what would have happened what would have happened if you know my 25th or 26 book I just say you know what I I just don't think I'm cut out for this I just don't think yeah I just don't I don't think I'm going to make it you see the problem with quitting is you never know how close you were to succeeding you never know I could have quote I could have stopped after 26 books and I could have told everybody I gave it a shot gave it my best shot and all that would be true to a certain extent but on that you know 28th book yeah a bestseller and then another bestseller and now dozens and dozens of bestsellers but but I didn't get there quickly I didn't get there easily I had to keep fighting the battle I had to keep writing books I had to I had to stay in the game again what do I teach all the time consistency compounds wow let me give you another string statement here it is if you don't create the future you want you must endure the future you get you see we have a future that's not the question the question is what kind of future are we going to have and what I want you to see in the the Str and the strength statement is this you create your own future or somebody else will create it for you this is the difference between being intentional and unintentional if you're intentional you create your future if you're unintentional somebody else creates it for you it's the difference between asking the question can I and how can I now isn't that interesting those questions are quite similar but when I ask the question can I I'm expressing the fact that I may not I'm expressing the fact that maybe I'll exit and quit the moment I changed my question from can I which has a whole bunch of possibilities of loss and failure to how can I now I'm in the game I'm going to stay in the game it's not a question am I going going to do it I just got to figure out how I'm going to do it I've already determined to do it now I just got to figure out how you see that's the difference that's the difference between creating your future and letting someone else create it's the difference between accepting your life and leading your life it's the difference between waiting for it and working for it so I just gave you four string statements take them rethink them practice them let them put strength into your life you'll be better on your journey I promise you that hey podcast listeners many of you listening right now would probably love the autonomy that comes with owning your own business or becoming a coach that helps other businesses succeed well we have a phenomenal strategy where you are 100% in control of your own business earning income on your own terms and have access to the people tools and resources you need to build a thriving leadership development business when you become a Maxwell leadership certified team member you join a global community of entrepreneurs led by our expert team of mentors and faculty including John C Maxwell you'll also get one of the top leadership certifications in the world next to your name giving you the Boost you need to get started visit us online at Maxwell leadership.com jooin the team to find out more hey welcome back I was just telling Jake and Tracy here in the studio I I meant what I said when John was given all this wisdom I've heard him literally say these four things hundreds of times and most of the time as a leader and maybe this is true for you listener and viewer most of the time I listen for lessons so that I can learn them and apply them I don't listen so that I can keep reapplying them but these four things that John is sharing with us today are not meant to listen learn and move on they're meant to listen learn apply listen learn apply listen learn apply indefinitely because even John Maxwell at 77 I travel with him more than any other human in the world he's still learning these lessons about certain times and certain opportunities he's needing to lead through it's what CS Lewis says he says hardship often prepare Ordinary People for Extraordinary Destiny and if you want extraordinary Destiny and you're an ordinary person like me guess what you're going to have to keep applying these lessons not just try to learn them and Tracy I am looking forward to spending some time talking about these four things with you I am too although I have to say when we think of strength and resilience like you I think we like to look at it in our rearview mirror instead of that it's it's a companion that travels with us throughout the course of the entire journey and that is a really difficult thing because we want to kick that companion out of the car lighten lighten our load and travel without but when John said just because you're struggling it doesn't mean you're failing and I wrote that down and then I H highlighted it and I just sort of stared at that because that is a really refreshing thing to remember and I think we're all going to need to remember that because the struggle is really something that I think as much as we do these podcasts I listen to these podcasts I co-host with you I listen when I'm not co-hosting and I tell you I think sometimes when I struggle as a leader I think what did I do wrong that I am failing at this again and I still have those that internal conversation with myself and so to remember from John and uh who is a mentor to us all that struggling doesn't mean we're failing that it is a companion for the entire course of the journey so Mark uh sh if you'd be open to sharing with us you are always so open as as a learning leader a a generous leader to share with us your lessons what are some of the personal lessons that you've learned uh as a result of the struggle um through not failing but just through the struggle you know I've said often Tracy that I am a recovering people pleaser one of the other things is is that I have resilience I am resilient at kicking myself harder than I kick anybody else the self- condemnation I have in my leadership in my life I think it's a product of some frames of references that I grew up with and that I was uh super involved with there's just this almost dogmatic judgment that I give to myself during failure I I'm just hard I'm hard on people and I think part of the reason that I'm hard on people is because I'm a people pleaser which means I'm embarrassed that people's going to think I'm worse than what I really am so I try to beat them to the punch and show them that I'm worse than I really am right and so there's a moment of authenticity for you that I'm not only an incessant people pleaser I'm also an incessant judger of myself in a con condescending kind of way so when you have those two competing but almost complimentary struggles in your personality as I do it's hard for me to separate struggling and failure it's hard for me to separate struggle from inadequacies and weaknesses within me I'll try something bigger than never tried before it's never been done before I'm the first ever I'm a Pioneer and somehow I still hold myself accountable that I'm supposed to be really good let let me illustrate Tracy have you ever played golf with me no don't Jake have you ever played golf with me no don't I'm terrible but somehow get me on the golf course and all of a sudden in my mind Tiger Wood should be scared of me I should be that good and yet I'm not that good but somehow I get into a new environment or a leadership environment and when the struggle becomes real it speaks to my Effectiveness rather than speaks to the challenge of something new I'm trying to do therefore when John says just because you're struggling don't see it as a failure it's it it hits me deep because almost every struggle I have my immediate assessment is I'm failing I'm not adequate I'm not good enough I'm on the golf course I'm not shooting par I do that and what John's statement really is here gang podcast family that relate to me this is a get out of jail free card quit being so harsh on yourself if you're struggling you may be struggling because you're trying something nobody else will do you may be struggling because your background your history your family Dynamics never gave you an opportunity but look at what you're trying now it's why John says hey don't say I'm giving up say I'm getting up because you're still in the game hey I don't know how 2024 is finishing up for you but you're still in the game I don't know if you've done everything right or if it's been a struggle but guess what you're still listening to a podcast watching a podcast trying to improve yourself you're still in the game you're not failing you may be struggling but struggling is not failing so let me ask you something before we move on to the next one and we may end up parking here but is there any part of you as you get healthier that feels like your fear of failing I hope I can say this right that your fear of failing is what drives you to your success and you're afraid to let that go and embrace the struggle as part of growth from a healthy mindset because I feel like there are some leaders who Embrace that and almost keep that as the companion is their unhealthy connection to their fear of failing which is rooted in something probably unhealthy from childhood rather than the healthy embracing of the struggle and staying in the struggle and moving forward in that and releasing the fear of failure and instead moving forward in that am I being clear in that because I I think that that there are a lot of really incredible leaders who are afraid to let go of fear and fear of failing and embrace the struggle because they think their superpower is their fear of failure it helps it's so good Tracy I'm so glad you brought this up and you're right we may Camp here and we will for a few more minutes when you have accomplished something never been done before do a gut check is there a sense of satisfaction or is there a sense of relief the satisfaction is pride that you have done something that was next to Impossible a sense of relief is you're trying to prove something to yourself or to someone else and what I will tell you is you want to accomplish things for the sake of accomplishment not for the sake of proving yes and often times people are driven at the fear of failure rather than the sense of accomplishment and when fear of failure drives you the journey is not fun the destination is not fun it can be a relief and there is not a sense of fulfillment because failure and the fear of failure is driving that and so here's what happens when you accomplish something out of fear failure Oh Happy Day you accomplished it congratulations I'm really proud of you I really am I'm glad you accomplished something even if it out of failure but guess what tomorrow morning you'll wake up and the sense of dread and the sense of having to do it all over again and the sense of having to prove yourself worthy again will be right back up on your shoulder because your motive for doing something is trying to disprove something rather than prove something I want to prove that I have what it takes to myself but I don't want to disprove that everybody's opinion of me is wrong because when you try to disprove everybody's opinion of you you are looking external for your valuation rather than internal for your value and that external sense of valuation is both fleeting and flawed it's fleeting because everybody wants to know what have you done for me lately it's flawed because nobody external of you should determine your worth or your sense of accomplishment that should come from within and that's why Tracy that's such a brilliant point when failure is driving your success ratio you will never be successful enough in your own eyes to enjoy it I think that's so good that you said that because that's why John will say you know there's always a deeper meaning to his little catchphrases when he says feed your faith and starve your fear because exactly what you just said if you're doing it because you have a fear of failure or you're trying to prove it to some nameless faceless person from your childhood who told you you'll never amount to something when you wake up that dread and fear is still there because fear it the hunger of fear is Never Satisfied and you will wake up continually with that deep deep hunger fear is starving for more and more and more and you will never it will never be satisfied and that's why we have to starve it because it will continually drive you and you will never feel satisfaction so I'm so glad that you addressed that and now let's move to everything worthwhile is uphill and I hope that that person I just want to pause to say the the person the people because I know so many leaders who are driven by fear of failure I hope you will really maybe even turn the podcast off there maybe somebody stopped to cry because it broke something deep in you it addressed something deep in you that you have struggled with for a really long time and I hope you receive that message and really you'll have to address it again and again and again but I hope you really receive it and let it go go with you lay that behind and move forward so everything worthwhile is all uphill John and then he says all the way like I hate those three words hate those three words like couldn't you have just left it at everything worthwhile is uphill that he's like all the way man man John cut us some slack but it's good to know because I have been in my professional uh career in a in a in a rough hard season me and my team and we keep saying to each other remember what John says no leader has two great days in a row and my team and I have been so thankful that he said that because we will be literally celebrating and the the text will come in or the phone you know somebody calls in and boom the bomb is dropped more bad news or somebody's upset or something bad happens and it disturbs the celebration you know he says celebrate for 24 hours or you know grieve something for 24 sometimes you don't even get 24 hours sometimes it's like an hour that you're celebrating and something comes in and and so we're tempted we might be tempted to hang our heads when that happens but be we just keep saying remember what John said no leader has two great days in a row sometimes it's two great hours in a row but how has this been proven um so far in your leadership Mark that you've seen yeah you know I I'm like you when John's teaching that everything worthwhile is uphill I'm going yeah absolutely you sacrifice you you pay the price nothing's easy then it's all good it's all good in fact it's our standout statement for this podcast we always try to have a guiding statement for our podcast and this one this is it leadership isn't easy but it is worthwhile so I got it I bought into the fact it's the all the way that is my problem it's like can I get a relief John says the problem when he when he first started saying this he said the problem we all have uphill dreams we all have uphill aspirations if you're watching the podcast I mean I'm holding my hand up we all want to get there the challenge is we have downhill habits right in other words we we all say okay we'll pay the the price get tell me the price I'll pay it the problem is is after I've paid the price and there's still more to pay that's when I go man have I been somebody baited and switched me on this leadership thing okay I was sold a bill of goods here everybody told me Mark you gonna have to pay the price to become an owner of a company okay I paid that why do I have to pay again and again and again and again it really is the that's right all the way that uh I camp out on all the time I've told this story before never forget back in 2007 I was making a leadership transition I was really struggling I was having a really difficult time and and could not figure it out and uh I mean I was in my office perplexed like this this was way before 2020 I've sit like this a lot more after covid and after ownership and when the gray hair started popping but I'm sitting there at my desk and and I was at home that day and Stephanie my wife came in she said hey what's going on I said said I just I I don't think I can do this Stephanie it's too hard I think I'm going to go back to the easier position to lead I I just don't think I can do this she just silently left the room and I went wow that that was that was effective thanks babe glad you asked and found out and now you're gone she's out and I just kind of was sitting there and about five minutes later and my wife is not technically inclined at all like to for her to print a piece of paper like I'm getting ready to tell you that's like like seriously we have come a long way baby um for my wife to go up and on her computer she made this piece of paper just like this right here and she put on there she made five words as big a font as she could get on one thing and number one I was just amazed that my wife had created a document without my help but here's what it said and it's hung in my office ever since you were made for hard you were made for hard and she said Cole I don't want to hear that comment again I don't want to hear you say I want to go take the easy road again you my friend my husband my pal you were made for hard that statement has sustained me for years to know that hey I was I was created for this Bring it on I I got this I was made for a heart and that helps but it's still all the way all all the way thankfully thank you Stephanie for not Al also adding all the way at the bottom of that paper for Mark I don't think he had it in him to take it that day that day it would have been that would have been uh three words too many yeah that's right that would have been eight words too much that's right so I would love for all of you if you feel also inclined to have that as a reminder up in your office tag us on on social media uh maxel leadership and we would love to see that you are putting that up in your office as well because it's a great reminder to all of us that we were all made for hard this is not just Mark Cole this is all of us we were all made for hard when we were called to this leadership game we were all made for hard gosh we our time is running slim but when John talks about you know we're going to have to fight the battle more than once to win it that again with this lesson I am tempted to think that I failed the first time around if I didn't get the lesson that I have to learn it again and but John really drives us home and he calls it layered learning and so from your personal experience Mark talk about how layered learning has been uh a friend to you in your journey you know I I I tell John often when I'll make a mistake I I'm I'm pretty okay it's taken me a long time but I'm pretty okay when I make a mistake on something I've never done before I really have gotten like wow okay didn't see that one coming boy I learned a lot got a lesson out of it it's not it's worth it I've I literally have right now in my Arsenal million dooll lessons lost a million dollars but I got a good lesson out of it I mean literally that's in my portfolio now so I I kind of I kind of have gotten there my challenge is is when the same issue comes back up when I have to learn something the second time time and what John says here is when you have to fight the battle more than once to win it and I I I have really fortunately we are out of time because I I have two stories in business of times to where I thought I had won the battle I thought I had accomplished everything that I was going to accomplish only to have that sucker raise its head again anybody out there podcast family listening viewing and this is another place to tag us with a comment anybody played leadership whack-a-mole you whack that baby it sinks and then all of a sudden it pops up over here and then you whack it over here by the way I got I got chastised about saying kick the cat if any of you love moles please please I'm not really taking it out on a mole but you know whack-a-mole thing and you you get done and you go yes I got it that thing pops up again it's leadership wack-a-mole and for me that's a challenge because I take the second and third time of fighting the same battle as a personal affront to my lack of leadership getting it completed the first time but as Business Leaders what John is saying here there are some things in your business that you're going to have to defeat that enemy that distraction that obstacle multiple times to get the final war victory that you want and I can can tell you as a leader there have been people and again I I I want to be very careful cuz some of some of my illustrations are listeners to this podcast but I'm going to tell you I can think of a couple of situations that I thought for sure that we together had fought a battle and won that battle only for two weeks later them to come back with the exact same problem that I thought we had just accomplished and then I can tell you over time we fought it from this angle from this angle from this angle claiming vict every time to where one day guess what we did get Victory one day we did overcome here's my point in saying that I think what John is saying here is just because you're fighting a battle you thought you won last year the year before the year before here's the great news like I said on the first point it's December you're still in the battle you're still in the game let's go let's keep going after it I can promise you the reward is worth it that's right that's right well he he ends and our time is short but if you don't create the future you want you must endure the future you get which is a startling statement that is so true it's kind of a wakeup statement for some people uh I think sometimes we we are waiting for something to happen and years uh pass Us by and so what would you say for those to our listeners who are waiting for it versus working for it what would you say is the big takeaway for our listeners the biggest takeaway I would tell you um in this time of the year I'm always in reflection mode and I'm always doing yearend review and I would have you look at some things that keep coming up at the end of the year as you review the success and the challenges of your previous year and set up a plan for a more successful year than next year much like many of you will be doing over the next couple of weeks and I would challenge you to ask yourself this question the question John's asking right here are are you creating your future or are other people creating a future that you're going to endure and if you want to have the future that you want you're going to have to do some things different in 2025 than what you've done in 2024 and before because you're letting too many people have a hand in what your future looks like and you're tired of enduring their future for you and this is the time this is the place this is the podcast to where I can tell you you can make a difference you can determine that your future will be what is in your heart what is in your calling what is in your purpose you can begin starting today starting this podcast you can begin crafting the future that you want so that you stop enduring the future that you're getting and you can do that John Maxwell sitting around the fire today told us that you can and I believe in his 77 years of wisdom and 55 of that being an expert a thought leader on leadership really has something to say for us and I think it's just your time to listen to this podcast here's what I want to do for you I promised you in the show notes early on that I would give you something that would help you with this struggle this struggle of creating the future you want for me I began accomplishing the future I always wanted when I developed a personal growth plan in my life I talk about this all over the world growth and a growth plan to accomplish growth intentionality to growth was the all-time best Difference Maker for me crafting the future that I'm now living that I wanted back then and so I want to help you jump start that in 2025 we have a digital product it's a $499 digital product on the 15 laws of growth John's incredible Epic book on helping people no matter what level you're in in leadership and growth if you have a future designed or desire that you have not yet designed starting with personal growth and building Your Capacity is the first step and so we're discounting that $499 product all the way down to $99 so that you'll buy yourself a Christmas present so so that you will start the year off right by investing ing in yourself and so it's $99 we'll put it in the show notes we'll put in the podcast how to be a real success part two and here's why is because Ethel from Ghana listened to that podcast and loved it and this is what Ethel said for the numerous times I've listened to this podcast I have finally written my life's Mission as an HR practitioner Ethel I'm so excited for you Ethel said to equip train people to compound businesses is what I was supposed to do thank you Mark Cole thank you John C Maxwell for the teaching on clear Tracy this is you communication leadership equipping attitude relationship as a must-have skill I'm re-echoing that real in this part two series is a bell ringer for me I'm Ethel from Ghana and I'm making a difference with my life Ethel I'm so proud of you because everyone deserves to be led well are you ready to elevate your leadership to new heights join the movement towards High Road Leadership with John C Maxwell's latest book in highroad leadership John explores the power of valuing all people doing the right things for the right reasons and placing others above personal agendas learn how to inspire positive change and bring bring people together in a world that divides order now and receive exclusive bonuses including a keynote on High Road Leadership by John Maxwell himself and a sneak peek into three impactful chapters take the first step towards becoming a highroad leader visit highroad leadership book.com to order your copy today [Music]