The Art of Conversation

Introduction

Show of hands: Who has unfriended someone on Facebook for offensive posts?
Avoiding people: Many avoid certain people due to potential conflicts.
Polite conversations: Used to be easier with safe topics like weather and health; now even these are contentious (e.g., climate change, anti-vaxxing).

Divisiveness: Society is more polarized, less likely to compromise.
Statistics: Pew Research—more divided than ever; less listening, more decisions based on existing beliefs.
Balance: Conversations should balance talking and listening, but this is often lost, partly due to technology.

Smartphones: Teens send over 100 texts a day, preferring texting over face-to-face conversations.
Communication skills: Lacking due to screen interactions.

Quote from Paul Barnwell: Conversational competence is overlooked in education.
Personal Experience: The speaker talks to diverse people using the same skills for both professional and personal conversations.

Don't Multitask
- Be mentally present, not just physically.
Don't Pontificate
- Enter every conversation ready to learn something.
Use Open-Ended Questions
- Ask who, what, when, where, why, or how.
Go with the Flow
- Let thoughts come and go; avoid forcing in pre-planned questions.
Admit When You Don’t Know
- Err on the side of caution; talk shouldn’t be cheap.
Don't Equate Your Experience with Theirs
- Avoid shifting focus to yourself; experiences are individual.
Try Not to Repeat Yourself
- Avoid redundancy; it’s boring and condescending.
Stay Out of the Weeds
- Focus on what matters, not trivial details.
Listen
- Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply.
Be Brief

Family Ritual: Learning about amazing traits of visitors taught the speaker to be open-minded and interested.
Encouragement: Go out, talk, listen, and be ready to be amazed by people's stories.