Lecture Notes: How Not to Take Things Personally

Introduction

• Welcoming the audience to the match.
• Duration: 18 minutes.
• Emphasis on fair play, respect, and positivity.

Personal Journey

• Decided to become a football referee a year ago.
• Reasons for becoming a referee:
  • To stay in good shape.
  • To learn not to take things personally.

Challenges of Being a Referee

• Spectators often shout negative things.
  • Example: "Loser! Are you blind?"
• Being the scapegoat for criticism.
• Struggles with personal feelings of being hunted or unimportant.

The Impact of Taking Things Personally

• Real-life examples of taking things personally:
  • Driving slowly and feeling hunted.
  • Cancelled appointments feel like rejection.
  • Audience engagement: feelings when someone is distracted during a presentation.

The Ego and Its Role

• The idea that taking things personally is related to the ego.
• The ego desires recognition and hates criticism.
• Constant struggle with the world drains energy.
• Question posed: Do you want to be right or happy?

Strategies to Not Take Things Personally

• Introduction of two strategies represented by heads or tails of a coin.

Strategy 1: It's Not About Me

• Shift focus from self to the other person's perspective.
  • Example: Understanding why someone is on their phone.
• Importance of seeing positive intentions behind actions.
• Real-life application and challenges of this strategy:
  • Requires discipline to counter negative thoughts (80% of thoughts are negative).

Strategy 2: It Is About Me

• When the first strategy doesn't work, reflect on personal insecurities.
• Acknowledging one's vulnerabilities and childhood experiences that shape reactions.
• Importance of empathy towards oneself when criticized.
• Encourage open dialogue to express feelings without blaming others.

Conclusion

• Summary of the two strategies:
  1. It's not about me - focus on the other person's intention.
  2. It is about me - practice empathy and speak up.
• Call to action: Test these strategies in everyday life.
• Implore the audience to consider how these practices can improve relationships and create a better world.

Final Thoughts

• Reminder that self-worth remains intact regardless of others' actions.
• Concludes with a light-hearted note on earning money as a referee.