how long ago did you upload your first video like 6 years well we're going to watch it right now oh gosh I like and my skin is [Music] crawling this episode is sponsored by betterhelp online therapy visit betterhelp.com Padilla because sometimes existing is exhausting now hello Bryson that's me m Mr hamination Mr ham hamburger Nation I haven't heard that one before oh really what do you usually hear Hami Hamman ham chunk ham chunk yeah I sometimes I call the fans the ham chunkers okay well that makes more sense not really where did the ham come from funny story um you're like have you seen these ham Hawks it's from ham boning um no I was watching this video I think it it was like a Perry grip song it's called lazy harp seal it's like lazy harp seal has no job lazy harp seal has no money anyway it was the first time I had seen someone draw that like cutesy uh like cat mouth oh yeah yeah and I really liked it and I wanted to make my own creature with it before this me and my friends always did this thing called double comics in school I draw a panel of a comic hand it to them and then we just go back and forth back and forth back and forth and just make a whole panel and so none of us knew what the other was thinking so they always went in Crazy directions yeah and I I wanted to make a new character I guess for the comics and so I drew a circle did the cute cat mouth and I wanted it to be like blushing I was like learning how to draw like May at this time and so I kind of did like the Ash Ketchum blushies and my it was just a joke in my family cuz I think there was just like 30 Rock episode with this lady going ham and my little brother had a soundboard on his phone walking around the house all the time ham ham ham ham and so it was a funny word to me it's not after the food ham I just like the the word it sounds similar to the way that we came up with smos well one of my friends mispronounced MOS pit he was like that was it smos pit and then we we started saying oh SM SM SM and we were like the annoying kids in high school just saying a word over and over look at that both being with with Annoying words that we couldn't stop saying so over 5 million subscribers and almost 1 billion views yeah that's crazy it still doesn't feel real honestly why doesn't it feel real I don't know uh I feel like I I I definitely have some impostor syndrome but you know I'm working on it like you feel like you don't deserve it to be real yes but deserved is a we it's a weird word like well it's just a belief right yeah like what does anyone deserve anything like I try to avoid it now and just be like well I have it so I'm going to do the best that I can with it your most viewed video is about why you look so young do you understand now yeah let's get a pull up on the screen how old do you think this this boy is 16 you got 42 million views on that video do you think it's because people relate to the feeling of looking young I don't know there was definitely before before I even talked about it a lot of people talking about like why do you look like that and I was like I don't know I was just it's just I am we're just really late bloomers in my family and you know the high-pitched voice like I started when I was 16 and did not sound like a 16-year-old boy but some people thought I was lying about my age and then like in one of my videos I'm like well look I'm driving a car so do you believe me now yeah this person is old enough to drink I have not yet alcohol if you wanted to you could we did go to a bar on my 21st birthday and like we showed my ID and they're like nah this is fake there's no way and I'm like I promise like today's my birthday and so they they let me in and I tried a non-alcoholic beer didn't care for for your 21st birthday you tried a non-alcoholic beer yeah didn't care for it okay I've got some gifts for you oh really yeah okay this is uh the card game me and my brother made and then oh this is sick these are some of the plushies this is me as a superhero I'm ripping this open right now yeah you can rip them all you know let me help you I'm not going to rip them I'm opening it this is ho the hams yes there's all the cards this is me as a superhero this is me normal Style with a ham oh these are so amazing and that that that's what inspired haminations just the the little cat face looking guy that's me as and then this is where do you sell all these uh it's a Creator ink and Link Link Link in the description guys right how many cards do you did you design well like you know me and Braden worked on like what the cards actually do but the final art is not me I'm not that good um this brain is questionable it's mine so yeah yeah questionable brain how long ago did you upload your first video uh like six years six years ago uh well we're going to watch it right now oh gosh W I like physically I'm like watch we will we will have to watch all of it but watch a little [Music] clip gosh why hello Internet hello Internet I can't even hit those notes anymore please enjoy it okay now get super P I like my skin is crawling off the channel by telling the first funny story it's it's honestly I don't know I mean like I I know because I see the growth that you've made on the channel since then like I understand why but it's not bad don't lie come on not bad yes it is it's not bad yes I it's it's it's simple but it's not bad well thank I'm glad you think so why why are you cring why you cringing so much how are you going to not when you look at that it's just just me I guess it's too it's a little too much me too vulnerable I don't know I always I always was a little you know I'm very shy and like surprised I I it feels weird to even be here just based on I guess who I am outside of the online facade and like who I really am is like I keep those so separate which I think is very good actually cuz when you link your self worth to success you're in for a treat I can confirm that so you didn't have a traditional schooling experience you were no homeschooled yeah and everyone watching is going to be like oh that checks out that's why he's weird it's kind of I guess it's kind of an insult to say that you're oh homeschooled Vibes oh you're giving you're giving homeschool it's giving homeschool yeah do you think you give homeschool yeah I think let the comments come so you're homeschooled until sixth grade yes I was homeschooled until sixth grade uh my mom always said like oh I don't want to send you there get the creativity beaten out of you and I don't know if that would have happened but um she thinks that normal schools beat the creativity out of you um I guess I guess she thought that for me um because I'm I guess I was pretty I was a very sensitive kid and uh but I I am very grateful honestly that that she did that for me because um it really did help me I guess become more creative I've always been a very imaginative kid so your parents have been super supportive throughout this whole process yes they have and I'm very grateful for your mom was homeschooling you yes and then now you have your dad managing you yeah they've been super supportive in in allowing you to find your own path definitely in fact it was my dad's idea to do a YouTube channel and I'm very grateful for that what were you what were you doing before that like how did he know that a YouTube channel might be the right thing for you I was watching a lot of you know storytime animations and like thought it could be fun to try and he was like you should totally do it and then like I don't know I'm 16 oh jeez they they probably won't even like me huh so your dad encouraged you to to try it out and and then uh like it obviously like no YouTube well maybe some start with a big b bang but not not mine yeah and you know it took a long time for it to like uptake and that's when my mom was like okay you need a real job and then once you start making more then you can switch did you did you have a real job yeah Five Guys how long did you work at Five Guys six months I feel like it would have been a lot more enjoyable if my co-workers weren't mean does it feel strange looking back at that first video because of how you were and like I I feel like I wasn't shy enough there because like I'm annoying but um I don't know I I've wanted to take them down but I keep it up so you can see how far like I've come I guess the animation is so bad my animators are and background artists and storyboarders they're all so amazing and like but that was all done by yourself at that time right yes everything was me and you can tell yeah but you set the foundation for what you ended up becoming oh here I'll pull up a uh I'll pull up one of your more recent videos so you can see okay cool you can see what this is like I'm done with that all right all right so this is now you have a full team oh yeah it feels very similar but like the upgraded version of everything yeah that's that's what we're going for even the music is similar show today we are cooking cereal first add cereal then but Bryson what if I like pouring the milk first okay this is before this is before I tried to dial back the violence first add cereal then milk Vo ever any kid animates it's super violent I did the same when I animated some stuff back in when I was like 14 yeah I oh and you had a guest appearance from Satan yeah for sure Satan we go way back no please I'm a good boy when did you decide to work with the team what I feel like that's such a difficult decision that a lot of creators have to Grapple with because it's easier just to say oh I could just do it myself I know how to do it I know the way I like it was that a tough choice um I don't feel like I'm confident enough in my abilities to be like I got it what was spawn the decision to work with a team then my dad definitely um he he pushed for it a lot and I was like no because I want to do it it's got to be from me and it's I'm faking it if a if a team is helping me no you're not I still write the scripts I still record all the audio like I give I give notes on the storyboards and everything but honestly my role has moved away from actually animating and that's why it's really important to me to credit the animators and background artists and storyboarders they're they're amazing so can you go through a timeline of the process like when you get an idea for a video what happens from that point till the video is released first I add it to the list you got a huge list of stuff oh yeah oh yeah and then um you know start writing the script I like go through just write a first draft and then I throw that to all my all my friends uh Brody Brody animates uh James odd one's out and uh they give me a ton of notes I feel like I'm very good at taking feedback about like myself and my character but like when it comes to my creative work I'm like nope you're wrong so all the jokes that make it in that aren't good are because you said I want yes exactly nice yeah you have some people look at the script and say and you kind of sign off on that and finalize it well then I I record it and I've got a a closet in my office we've got all this like soundproofing in and the mic and stuff and I record it in there and then I until recently was editing all the audio but we have an audio editor now and then we get the audio back and then I give notes and then usually a lot of that and then once it's at a place I'm ready with we chop up the audio put it in the Google Drive and then everyone claims parts and then they storyboard I'm like oh these key poses aren't quite right you know we it's a it's a whole thing and then after like a storyboard is done then someone can go to animate that and then they often ask for like references like backgrounds they send works and progress I'm like okay we want this Chang this is what we're not going for and a lot of that is from Nate and Annie and and then also from me and then I I guess try to write another script and manage these other videos do you think that your mom's pitch of having a regular job in the meantime was good for you overall well I made a video about it so oh true you got content yeah that's that's the therapeutic part of it I feel like whenever something bad happens to me I'm like but I can make a video about it that's true harness it positively yeah I feel like even for people don't animate or don't have an outlet like that that could be a way to view anything you know it's like I'll learn from this I'll benefit from this exact take this information so you talk a lot about growth mindset it's very important to me what is that growth mindset is you can always improve you can always get better and it's way more healthy because we're not perfect no one is no one has arrived no one is like I'm done I did it like you can always become better and I feel like I can sniff it out more now like when people are having a fixed mindset about things because when you have a fixed mindset it's you do see things very black and white there's good people and there's bad people and I'm a good person but this person is criticizing me which would make me a bad person so the only way I can remedy that is by saying n it wasn't that bad that's that's you're too sensitive you you're just reading too much into it you you don't understand my tone you just think that so that defensiveness comes from wanting to maybe prove to oneself that you are the good and not the bad yes we're all in between and I always try to focus on like how I can improve and I definitely feel like that's helped me in my personal relationships and it's also helped me with the channel to always try to improve and become better and in my personal relationships I I feel very confident in my ability like hey like I I did that wrong and I'm I'm sorry that I shouldn't have shouldn't have done that I want to make amends I do feel like I always try to find a a way to find some middle ground or some compromise or some way to talk it out but there are you know there are some instances where people don't see eye to eye and I also feel like I'm kind of good at agreeing to disagree about things but you know there are some things that people are more sensitive about and that includes me and I guess clear communication is very important and it's like I guess talking to someone about like okay like why why do you feel that way can you give me some examples and like how I could do better in the future so it sounds like you're willing to listen yes and I I definitely try to project that and I want to like I value communication because someone coming to me and like talking to me about something like that it was probably scary to approach this and I don't want to punish that behavior I want to reward good communication and so that's what I always strive for obviously I'm not perfect at it and I you know I'm a flawed human human being what do you think pushed you to apply these things that you learned because I feel like a lot of people do take therapy and and they do hear how they can improve their mindset but it's applying it that is the tough part what do you think it was that that push you to apply these things instead of maybe reject them or or say or to it's not my problem it's yours you're the one that or or to think that you're doing it but then not apply it you know I'd like to think I there was a little bit of of a natural inclination to be self-aware and like try to be as nice to other people as I can be and for a while that wasn't my own expense once I like worked that out and talked a lot with my therapist or at least worked it out to the point that I'm at now I've gotten to a place where I can call myself out while still being kind I'm still trying to get there with other people I I don't think I'm very good at being like hey that was wrong but uh I still love you it's hard for you it's hard it's hard to confront people I guess that would be what some people would call boundaries boundaries we love boundaries we love boundaries my my mom you know she's she's also really into therapy she's like oh I don't think that really fits with my boundary and we think that she should have a perfume brand called Boundaries and she's like I'm not comfortable and that's the that's the final say was it your mom that got you into therapy yes it was my mom that got me into therapy and the first time um it was actually funny enough because I was really anxious to go on a Scout trip that was really hard for me I was a pretty sensitive kid how old were you 12 so a couple months ago 11 nice nice you got me but yeah um she took me to this uh counselor and I was so scared to go I was like oh there's something wrong with me like I'm not good enough like I got to I got to go go to the in an institution and it's it's so scary and it's hard to like yeah I could I could work on some stuff and you know she talked me through it and my parents also bribed me a bit to go on the Scout trip more on that later actually I'm just kidding all right I'm done with the go jokes I'm done I'm done no you don't keep going keep going uh there was there was a time when um you know I'm such a late bloomer I was 16 did not look it and like we we like went to this endocrinologist well actually before we went there was just this General just general checkup and this guy comes out like yeah well he's really underdeveloped and you know like men like to be the the Alpha and the the you know the Big Man on Campus and you know I want that for you so I'm going to recommend uh testosterone treatment and I was like no you had a doctor recommending that you take testosterone this series is sponsored by better help do you ever feel like your brain is getting in its own way like you know what you should do or what's good for you but you just can't seem to do it therapy helps you figure out what's holding you back so you can work for yourself instead of against yourself as I'm sure many of you know I've been a huge advocate of therapy since I started going 6 years ago it's helped me in almost every facet of my life whether dealing with anxiety or depression or just the day-to-day struggles of being a human therapy has been a Guiding Light for me if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule make your brain your friend with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com Padia today to get 10% off your first month that's betterhelp hp.com Padilla and I'd like to thank Stitch fix for sponsoring this episode because building a wardrobe that you love isn't always simple but Stitch fix makes putting together great Styles easy they do all the work for you so you have the time to focus on all the other things on your plate The stitchfix Stylist has over a thousand Brands to choose from which makes picking the clothes with your choices in mind simple they'll even show you how to wear head to toe outfits so you can get dressed and go and if you don't love it you could just send it back for free so thanks stitchfix they just get me and they'll get you too try today at stitchfix.com Padia and you'll get 25% off when you keep everything in your fix that's stitchfix.com Padia stitchfix.com Padia now back to the world of haminations you mentioned walking away from a toxic friendship for example yeah and and I know that's really hard I mean I feel like I would never have known to even walk away from a toxic friendship until way way way later in life it was very hard and when I when I said in the pre- interiew toxic friendship that's not just the other person it was me too because of resentment um that's what I I mean when I talk about boundaries I guess stepping away from a relationship um it's very hard to to do that it's it's it's it was very difficult for me and I I guess what happened is like like when we were we were talking about a lot of things um trying to see eye to eye it was clear it just wasn't going to happen it was about things that I couldn't really agree to disagree on ultimately I I did decide to step away because I felt that if I did stay I would continue to become resentful since I didn't feel safe in communicating how I really felt that would build up until the next blowup and then I'd shut up and just take it and then and then that's why communication is so important there a lot of friend in relationships in general that have that cycle where they're frustrated frustrated frustrated blow up and then they the feelings the emotions the discussion finally happens and they feel okay for a little bit and it seems like things are okay and then it cycle that cycle continues that's why commun all this therapy stuff is so important to me because um talking to people about how we're really feeling and talking about the thing when it happened and like setting setting a boundary at the outset of something is so much easier than right retroactively because then they're like okay well I didn't even know until you brought that up and then you can become defensive cuz you're like how was I supposed to know you didn't even tell me I'm not a mind reader yeah yeah and that's that's fair you people can't read minds but it is it is very important to me to that's something I need to get better at is becoming more assertive you know like I understand the concepts I'm not perfect at it obviously like I understand that I need to stand up for myself in situations and that doesn't mean being mean and yelling and being like Oh you're wrong and but um yeah it's still hard for me to confront people and that's something I'm going to continue to work on and being like hey I didn't like when this happened can we try something else can we try maybe going forward having better communication about that and when someone comes and talks to you like that it's it really inspires growth and and connection another thing that fans really wanted to know is have you ever had a really good idea that you just lost motivation to tackle I don't think so I feel like when I really if I really like it I hyperfocus yeah um yeah I definitely do have the tendency to dial in and so if I am passionate about it it's probably going to happen what's your relationship like with your fan base because you have done such a good job of keeping your personal self and your selfworth detached a little bit so that way you don't get so caught up in what what do these people think about me yeah the what I think about myself has nothing to do with the channel or the performance of the videos and I'm glad it's that way I really am but you know I guess I'm very cautious about that and I want to be so careful about how I present myself be that in my personal relationships or in parasocial relationships but yeah it's very important for me to keep that stuff very separated I feel like that's why it made me happy when people like I like forget that you're like a YouTuber I'm like that's that's what I'm going for I I just want you to see me as a person you want to keep hamon and Bryson separate and you know like when I go to VidCon I've got a hey like oh my gosh it's so nice to like like meet you and and it is but like you're still wanting to present the hamination Persona yes and it's sometimes it makes me sad that I can't like I don't know like if I'm not meeting their expectations like like oh I've been waiting to meet him but like that's so hard though especially when there are people who a have an idea of who you are and an expectation but also they've traveled they've like set aside their entire day like you want to live up it's very important what they expect from you this is going to sound mean but it's it's exhausting just by nature of being an introvert it's exhausting for me it takes it out of me but it's very important for me to do that as an introvert I know it is you know you want to present your best self to your to your fans and people that recognize you have you had any bizarre experiences with with fans it was my first VidCon and as we're walking there like he recognized me at the like crosswalk like hey yeah take a picture go to VidCon and I like buy all the animators plushies and then I I go home and I made like a Twitter post about it I was like hey look at me with all these animator plushies and he messages me on Twitter and he he says uh hey your your like motel's bed sheets look just like the ones in my motel do you happen to be staying here and I was and I ignored it and then we we go to uh VidCon and then he ask me in person and I'm like oh I don't know hey your your bets have the same blood stain as mine blood yeah but then uh yeah we we worked out and he apologized and it's it's all fine you know I I wanted to ask you earlier do you feel like you are someone that you would have looked up to when you were younger I've never thought about that yeah I think I would have and like what you do your animation your mindset all of it I I I hope I'm making little me proud I think I am it's hard for me to admit it sometimes but I am I am proud of myself of my progress and that's not to take away that there's not more to learn sure and become better at but yeah I'm proud of myself for my selfawareness and trying to be the best person I can and also the the the channel is nothing to sneeze at I guess well it's good to have you on the show thank you hi I'm BR hi good now let's just start the interview over Okay so 12 no um that was another good one I got I got a lot in there okay I'm ready I can take it